General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: Electric Fuzzball on February 08, 2015, 08:07:05 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Mother....
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 08, 2015, 08:07:05 PM
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 08, 2015, 08:07:05 PM
So, I came out to my mother about 2 weeks ago... worst idea I have ever made. She played off the first night like she accepted everything about it, even my love interests (cis and trans females). It hasn't gone well since that day.
She started off her attempts to sway my "choice" by using my dead father against me. "...he wouldn't accept this..." "...you were his favorite son..." "...he always wanted a boy, and then you came along...". She then goes on to asking me if I'm gay.... "because being a girl means you'd like guys, but you're a guy, so you'd be gay", which is so wrong that it makes me sick. I then stop her from spewing anymore ignorant homophobia, then tell her that I'm only into girls, trans and cis. That moment resulted in the *gears in head grinding* face, and "that doesn't work, two girls can't be together".
She then gets into a fight with me a few days later after my orthodontist appointment. I shattered the screen on my phone, and wanted to go to the plaza to get a price for a new one. The guy gives us a price I could manage, but my mom isn't thinking and gets mad at me for wanting a new phone. I'll shorten the story from here. She ended up telling me that I need to be hospitalized and put on meds because I'm "not right in the head". I have never shown any actions in my life to make anyone think I'm not right in the head, and I'm extremely smart, nice, and very generous. I'm honestly happy that my friend was there for me, or else I would have lost all hope for my future.
She thinks the lbgt community will take over and make the world infertile, that America is a sick country that needs to be fixed...
I can't wait till I graduate, my sister has a room ready for when I finally get out of here. I also love my niece, she's extraordinarily smart for a 3 year old.
She started off her attempts to sway my "choice" by using my dead father against me. "...he wouldn't accept this..." "...you were his favorite son..." "...he always wanted a boy, and then you came along...". She then goes on to asking me if I'm gay.... "because being a girl means you'd like guys, but you're a guy, so you'd be gay", which is so wrong that it makes me sick. I then stop her from spewing anymore ignorant homophobia, then tell her that I'm only into girls, trans and cis. That moment resulted in the *gears in head grinding* face, and "that doesn't work, two girls can't be together".
She then gets into a fight with me a few days later after my orthodontist appointment. I shattered the screen on my phone, and wanted to go to the plaza to get a price for a new one. The guy gives us a price I could manage, but my mom isn't thinking and gets mad at me for wanting a new phone. I'll shorten the story from here. She ended up telling me that I need to be hospitalized and put on meds because I'm "not right in the head". I have never shown any actions in my life to make anyone think I'm not right in the head, and I'm extremely smart, nice, and very generous. I'm honestly happy that my friend was there for me, or else I would have lost all hope for my future.
She thinks the lbgt community will take over and make the world infertile, that America is a sick country that needs to be fixed...
I can't wait till I graduate, my sister has a room ready for when I finally get out of here. I also love my niece, she's extraordinarily smart for a 3 year old.
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 08, 2015, 08:53:27 PM
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 08, 2015, 08:53:27 PM
This was a vent, sorry if it seems inappropriate.
Title: Re: Mother with old world views
Post by: ChiGirl on February 08, 2015, 09:12:04 PM
Post by: ChiGirl on February 08, 2015, 09:12:04 PM
Not at all. It's difficult for some people to comprehend the trans experience. Ours is not an easy road. Good luck with your mother. Hugs!
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: stephaniec on February 08, 2015, 09:15:07 PM
Post by: stephaniec on February 08, 2015, 09:15:07 PM
well, good you have a safe warm place waiting for you
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: LordKAT on February 09, 2015, 06:25:28 AM
Post by: LordKAT on February 09, 2015, 06:25:28 AM
There is a vent forum for a reason, we all need to do so at times. Your feelings under those circumstances are very understandable.
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: Ayden on February 09, 2015, 06:30:35 AM
Post by: Ayden on February 09, 2015, 06:30:35 AM
Vent away, that's what this area is for.
Keep your head up. It does get better.
Keep your head up. It does get better.
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: suzifrommd on February 09, 2015, 08:41:50 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on February 09, 2015, 08:41:50 AM
EF, you haven't asked for advice, so feel free to ignore if it doesn't help.
It sounds like your mother needs educating. She has the misconception that this is something you're choosing rather than that this is a condition that needs treatment. Wonder if it would help if you framed it in that way. "If I had a broken leg, would Dad not accept me with a cast? This is the same thing." Your mother needs to know that this isn't a mental illness - that transgender people are just as mentally healthy as everyone else. We were just born with a brain that needs us to be a different gender than other people with our body type.
I don't know if it would help, but it may be that she's never thought about these things. Repeating these facts might help her think about it. At least might be worth a try.
Hugs, EF. This sounds maddening and frustrating.
It sounds like your mother needs educating. She has the misconception that this is something you're choosing rather than that this is a condition that needs treatment. Wonder if it would help if you framed it in that way. "If I had a broken leg, would Dad not accept me with a cast? This is the same thing." Your mother needs to know that this isn't a mental illness - that transgender people are just as mentally healthy as everyone else. We were just born with a brain that needs us to be a different gender than other people with our body type.
I don't know if it would help, but it may be that she's never thought about these things. Repeating these facts might help her think about it. At least might be worth a try.
Hugs, EF. This sounds maddening and frustrating.
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 09, 2015, 12:47:03 PM
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 09, 2015, 12:47:03 PM
Haha, the reason I didn't ask questions is because I know who she is and what she'll do. There is no changing her, she is an old level of stubborn with a huge lack of care.
I have my first appointment with Melissa Leonhardt next Tuesday, can't really be bothered by my insane mother.
She is insane, she sent my sister to jail for a month because she couldn't find the keys to the suv... because supposedly when my sister asks to use it for school and her kids just happen to play with the keys and lose them, its grand theft auto...
I have my first appointment with Melissa Leonhardt next Tuesday, can't really be bothered by my insane mother.
She is insane, she sent my sister to jail for a month because she couldn't find the keys to the suv... because supposedly when my sister asks to use it for school and her kids just happen to play with the keys and lose them, its grand theft auto...
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: VisorDown on February 09, 2015, 01:48:38 PM
Post by: VisorDown on February 09, 2015, 01:48:38 PM
Your mother doesn't sound too pleasant at all. Keep your head up, Electric! If she can't get past the material, she won't realise just how beautiful you really are. She's the one missing out on a wonderful daughter.
Good luck with your appointment!
Alaric
Good luck with your appointment!
Alaric
Title: Re: Mother....
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 09, 2015, 01:53:42 PM
Post by: Electric Fuzzball on February 09, 2015, 01:53:42 PM
Quote from: VisorDown on February 09, 2015, 01:48:38 PM
Your mother doesn't sound too pleasant at all. Keep your head up, Electric! If she can't get past the material, she won't realise just how beautiful you really are. She's the one missing out on a wonderful daughter.
Good luck with your appointment!
Alaric
Thank you!