Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
I had a real breakthrough today. Since my job gives me a lot of time to just sit around and think, I was able to channel that into positive thought and self-reflection, rather than the usual self-depreciating "boo-hoo" talk.
I finally know who I am.
I identify as female, but at this point I have no intention of transitioning - I don't feel that it's right for me. The post-operative life doesn't sound very pleasing to me. It's not a case of "ooh that's intimidating", it's just not sounding like my thing. Obviously, I need to speak with a therapist to be 100% on this, but I'm at about 85%-90% on it.
I'm no longer worried about passing. So long as I can look in the mirror and love who's looking back, so what if I get clocked? I'm beautiful in my own eyes, and that's all that matters.
And while I do carry a concern about transgender hate and how it could affect me, I know that there are people who have my back. My SO's the biggest source of comfort for me there - she's already proven she'll go through hell and back for my sake.
I can't describe how I feel right now. It's like a humongous burden has been lifted from my shoulders...and it's thanks to this site. Having the resources available to really look into my situation...that's what led to this. That, and all the wonderful people here.
My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.
I finally know who I am.
I identify as female, but at this point I have no intention of transitioning - I don't feel that it's right for me. The post-operative life doesn't sound very pleasing to me. It's not a case of "ooh that's intimidating", it's just not sounding like my thing. Obviously, I need to speak with a therapist to be 100% on this, but I'm at about 85%-90% on it.
I'm no longer worried about passing. So long as I can look in the mirror and love who's looking back, so what if I get clocked? I'm beautiful in my own eyes, and that's all that matters.
And while I do carry a concern about transgender hate and how it could affect me, I know that there are people who have my back. My SO's the biggest source of comfort for me there - she's already proven she'll go through hell and back for my sake.
I can't describe how I feel right now. It's like a humongous burden has been lifted from my shoulders...and it's thanks to this site. Having the resources available to really look into my situation...that's what led to this. That, and all the wonderful people here.
My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 01:15:00 AM
Post by: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 01:15:00 AM
Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
I had a real breakthrough today. Since my job gives me a lot of time to just sit around and think, I was able to channel that into positive thought and self-reflection, rather than the usual self-depreciating "boo-hoo" talk.
I finally know who I am.
I identify as female, but at this point I have no intention of transitioning - I don't feel that it's right for me. The post-operative life doesn't sound very pleasing to me. It's not a case of "ooh that's intimidating", it's just not sounding like my thing. Obviously, I need to speak with a therapist to be 100% on this, but I'm at about 85%-90% on it.
I'm no longer worried about passing. So long as I can look in the mirror and love who's looking back, so what if I get clocked? I'm beautiful in my own eyes, and that's all that matters.
And while I do carry a concern about transgender hate and how it could affect me, I know that there are people who have my back. My SO's the biggest source of comfort for me there - she's already proven she'll go through hell and back for my sake.
I can't describe how I feel right now. It's like a humongous burden has been lifted from my shoulders...and it's thanks to this site. Having the resources available to really look into my situation...that's what led to this. That, and all the wonderful people here.
My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.
And you should be very proud to be a beautiful, strong determined woman.
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: Ms Grace on February 15, 2015, 01:55:21 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on February 15, 2015, 01:55:21 AM
Hugs! Always nice to get that kind of epiphany! :)
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:09:45 AM
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:09:45 AM
I've said it once and I'll say it again, forums need to have "like" buttons for posts. Cindy, you were the first person to make me feel right at home here. And Ms. Grace, you're one of the ones I look up to the most - there's just something comforting and motherly about your avatar picture.
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 02:19:35 AM
Post by: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 02:19:35 AM
She does look like an old Gran! Just needs knitting needles!
<Cindy decides that witness protection looks good>
<Cindy decides that witness protection looks good>
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:29:27 AM
Post by: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:29:27 AM
Quote from: Cindy on February 15, 2015, 02:19:35 AM
She does look like an old Gran! Just needs knitting needles!
<Cindy decides that witness protection looks good>
:icon_giggle:
I was thinking more like a southern mama, or that one auntie that always calls out "Y'all be good now, y'hear?" when you leave her house after a long day of grilling, playing in the creek, and catching lightnin' bugs. :icon_hug: Ah, I miss farm life sometimes.
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: Sabrina on February 15, 2015, 10:12:06 AM
Post by: Sabrina on February 15, 2015, 10:12:06 AM
Congrats on being proud of who you are.
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: stephaniec on February 15, 2015, 10:59:24 AM
Post by: stephaniec on February 15, 2015, 10:59:24 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ShMz4S0f1E
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: Devlyn on February 15, 2015, 02:37:48 PM
Post by: Devlyn on February 15, 2015, 02:37:48 PM
"My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am."
Big hug! Yay for self acceptance!
Hugs, Devlyn
Big hug! Yay for self acceptance!
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: katrinaw on February 15, 2015, 04:14:54 PM
Post by: katrinaw on February 15, 2015, 04:14:54 PM
That's such a defining moment for you and you are now at that point you are free to be as you wish to be and feel at ease and peace with yourself :eusa_clap:
L Katy :-*
L Katy :-*
Title: Re: Epiphany, At Last!
Post by: kao on February 15, 2015, 05:33:10 PM
Post by: kao on February 15, 2015, 05:33:10 PM
Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 01:08:46 AM
My name is Julia Marie Stryker. I am transgender. I am beautiful. And I am proud of who I am.
Woo when I had my moment it was a great relief and even with the delays/rejections I had just after, my life has never been better
as you put in the thread I started
"The long and the short of it is, be bold. Be fearless. Be you. Because you're beautiful, and that's all that matters. To quote mama Ru - if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else!?"
words I will hold onto and like many others here you bring light to those who need help by been you because you are awesome :)
btw Stryker sound like an awesome name for a RPG character lol