Susan's Place Transgender Resources

so lately i have been feeling frustrated, angry, and depressed, and i am feeling those emotions because i have been craving human touch, i didn't know exactly what it was and in the past before i was on estrogen i would fix these emotions with lust and pursue a sexual desire to satisfy my grumpy behavior, unfortunately i have been attempting to use my old tactics but am currently losing the battle for my emotional stability, i have come to one immutable truth

i desire the affectionate touch of another human being,

unfortunately i am currently single to an extreme degree and currently years out on probably pursuing a relationship with someone that i would feel comfortable cuddling up with, the one question i am asking is mostly directed towards the transwomen since i believe most transmen have an easier time going without needing to be touched but still chime in if you have advice,

how do you deal with the unbearable desire of needing to be affectionately cuddled, held, or touched, in a non sexual way once you have estrogen running though your veins and such a potent emotional capability?

I too would like to know. I've been single for about 13 years. No intimacy at all for that time frame. IT've had exactly 1 date in that time about a year ago before I came out.

Most people might find this weird but i have a few friends (female friends to be exact) that I cuddle with in a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of way and they are totally up for it too. They can even text me and be like "I need a cuddle wanna come over" there's no sex involved just cuddles. Maybe that's something you  can aim for if you have a couple of really good friends ask them to spoon cuddle once in a while :P

I'm married now so we don't cuddle anymore but it wasn't wierd at all when we used to.

I can't answer your question, but I can definitely sympathize with it.

For me, before HRT it was about sex, and now its .. so different. I think this problem is what you get being female, and I can only guess you need to do what women do in this situation (I've no idea).

I'm quite uneasy thinking about how I'd relate to men if I ever had to - I don't much like knowing what drives them anymore. Perhaps I have a few hangups still.

Madison, I'm going through the same thing now. My need for physical affection has never been greater at a time when I find I am not a suitable physical partner in anybody's book.

Finding someone who is right for you is hard.

Advice? Well, I'm trying to live as full a life as possible, fill up as many vessels of my life as I can. Take care of what I can control and try to accept what I cannot.

But it's not easy.

Quote from: Madison (kiara jamie) on February 23, 2015, 01:00:24 AM

....unfortunately i am currently single to an extreme degree and currently years out on probably pursuing a relationship with someone that i would feel comfortable cuddling up with, the one question i am asking is mostly directed towards the transwomen since i believe most transmen have an easier time going without needing to be touched but still chime in if you have advice,
....

Hi Madison.  If your avatar pic is of you, can I ask why you feel that you're so far out from a possible relationship?  Even if it's not, the question still applies.

If you're preop there is a small minority of people of both genders who may be both interested, as well as being decent people.  Not easy to find, but not impossible either.

I concur with others in that, since I started HRT, the sexual side of things is very much less important.  But I do have a sometimes-lover of the type I describe above. 

Hugs
Julia

Not there yet, but isolation would be my biggest fear assuming all else is more than acceptable

I must say that I am a social creature and love sharing and caring!

L Katy  :-*

I`ve long-known the awful emptiness of longing to be touched and of simply being together; laying quietly, embraced in companionable acceptance of each other`s loving care.......

The horror of realising that one might be destined to journey onwards through life; unloved and unlovable, simply because of one`s 'otherness', was at times too much to bear..........but, despite those lost years of {seemingly} hopeless longing, there comes a season.

.........and then, those decades of loneliness and sorrow, were brushed away like dry-cobwebs in the breeze, by that first comforting caress. :-*

I suppose I can't really complain, but I'm a very affectionate person so I can sympathize with going a desire for contact. I do have a boy friend but he's in Texas and I'm in Cali, so I'm going a little stir crazy not being able to cuddle. >_<

I crave the same thing. All I do in the meanwhile is stay positive, surround myself with good friends, and do what I can to look as good as possible at all times. You never know when Mr or Mrs right will present themselves.

I completely understand this. Sometimes I crave affection so much that my heart (chest?) hurts and I cry myself to sleep. It's not easy and I don't really deal with it, to be honest. Back around New Year's I went snowmobiling with one of my best guy friends and I was directly behind him. I didn't even really care about the snowmobiling; just wrapping my arms around his torso so as to not fall off made me feel semi-euphoric.

*hugs for madison*

I sent you a pm. Hopefully it helps in a small way.

Touch is good. I find myself not wanting it right now as I have started with a therapist, because I want to be touched as my true self.

I do believe though, that if we are confident in iurselves, we are all capable of forming the bonds to receive the intimate social touching we all want and deserve.

But like anything...confidence is a very difficult thing to achieve.

We are all People, we are all Human, We all need to be Wanted, Touched and Loved, Regardless of any gender issues we might have, its only Natural :) find that right person and be Happy :)