Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: Phyliciaraine on February 23, 2015, 06:43:16 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What really drove us apart.
Post by: Phyliciaraine on February 23, 2015, 06:43:16 PM
Post by: Phyliciaraine on February 23, 2015, 06:43:16 PM
So I wanted to share something that had been a major realization in my relationship with my wife. I am MtF. Starting as far back as I can remember in my relationship with her. We had regular fights, really bad fights. Anyways over the same things. They got worse the further I went into my transition. It got to the point that we were starting to look at going our separate ways. Now I can tell you what the REAL problem was, and now that it's identified we both are hopeful that our marriage will survive. For the first 12 years of our marriage, I had undiagnosed adult ADHD. And she for the longest time thought I was just making excuses. It wasn't until last night when we were fighting and I was in years, she asked just tell me why? And I told her it us because I can't help it.
She left the room to get on her computer and prove me wrong. She came back after about 5 minutes and held me like she hadn't I years and told me she was sorry. The first article she read literally sounds like our whole marriage almost word for word.
If someone that you know or yourself or your partner, or whom ever has ADD, ADHD, or suspects they might. Please, please, please look into how it effects a relationship. Alone those that have it can't fix the issues, it has to be a joint effort. I'm so happy that my wife and I are finally able to be happy again, and I would like to give any other couple that had this issue a glimmer of hope.
Phylicia
Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
She left the room to get on her computer and prove me wrong. She came back after about 5 minutes and held me like she hadn't I years and told me she was sorry. The first article she read literally sounds like our whole marriage almost word for word.
If someone that you know or yourself or your partner, or whom ever has ADD, ADHD, or suspects they might. Please, please, please look into how it effects a relationship. Alone those that have it can't fix the issues, it has to be a joint effort. I'm so happy that my wife and I are finally able to be happy again, and I would like to give any other couple that had this issue a glimmer of hope.
Phylicia
Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: What really drove us apart.
Post by: Jill F on February 23, 2015, 06:58:18 PM
Post by: Jill F on February 23, 2015, 06:58:18 PM
I believe that many of us here suffer from undiagnosed ADD. My therapist told me that ADD and gender dysphoria often go hand in hand, and that I clearly have both.
ADD/ADHD can be highly detrimental to your relationships, your education and life in general. I would highly recommend that everyone here be screened.
ADD/ADHD can be highly detrimental to your relationships, your education and life in general. I would highly recommend that everyone here be screened.
Title: Re: What really drove us apart.
Post by: Jenniferinutah on February 24, 2015, 12:01:05 AM
Post by: Jenniferinutah on February 24, 2015, 12:01:05 AM
My wife diagnosed my add. After going to a therapist it turns out that I suffered from depression as well. Once I took care of those two things medicinally, my marriage was saved. Now 15 years later I am finally dealing with my trans issues