Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: transtastic on March 05, 2015, 01:39:47 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: transtastic on March 05, 2015, 01:39:47 PM
Post by: transtastic on March 05, 2015, 01:39:47 PM
As a kid I had a lot of hobbies but from teenage and forward 10-15 years I am literally doing nothing.
I have no interests, no hobbies. Just sit in front of the screen 24/7. I like taking small steps towards
transitioning (buying a nice pair of shoes and so on) but I literally have nothing else on my mind.
I feel bored ALL the time. I keep thinking I should activate myself but I just don't care / don't feel any
motivatin what so ever. SO I keep doing nothing. I never watch movies, read books, just nothing!
Sitting around clicking random stuff online feeling utterly bored all the time.
I have this belief that this will change when I transition fully. That I will "start living".
Am I self-deluding myself? How was it for you? Anyone here going from a very empty boring
non-existant life to a rich life with hobbies and interests, with passion, thanks to transitioning?
I have no interests, no hobbies. Just sit in front of the screen 24/7. I like taking small steps towards
transitioning (buying a nice pair of shoes and so on) but I literally have nothing else on my mind.
I feel bored ALL the time. I keep thinking I should activate myself but I just don't care / don't feel any
motivatin what so ever. SO I keep doing nothing. I never watch movies, read books, just nothing!
Sitting around clicking random stuff online feeling utterly bored all the time.
I have this belief that this will change when I transition fully. That I will "start living".
Am I self-deluding myself? How was it for you? Anyone here going from a very empty boring
non-existant life to a rich life with hobbies and interests, with passion, thanks to transitioning?
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: Muffinheart on March 05, 2015, 01:45:08 PM
Post by: Muffinheart on March 05, 2015, 01:45:08 PM
I had no hobbies or interests...other than I golfed as a kid, but nothing that I could call an interest. As a kid, through my 20s and 30s, never had any interests.
When I started my transition ie. Living 100% full time, I started cooking more, taking up sewing, arts and crafts.
7 years later, I run my own catering company, website, canning business that I sell online and farmers markets and am writing a cookbook. I love to sew in spare time.
Transitioning for me, seemed to allow me to express my passion for homemaking....love being on sites like Etsy and Pinterest.
When I started my transition ie. Living 100% full time, I started cooking more, taking up sewing, arts and crafts.
7 years later, I run my own catering company, website, canning business that I sell online and farmers markets and am writing a cookbook. I love to sew in spare time.
Transitioning for me, seemed to allow me to express my passion for homemaking....love being on sites like Etsy and Pinterest.
Title: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: MacG on March 05, 2015, 02:11:20 PM
Post by: MacG on March 05, 2015, 02:11:20 PM
That sounds like me when I have depression. Wellbutrin helps a lot. Taking transition steps is helping. I'm developing a couple new interests and considering a career change.
It's difficult for me to tell if transition is making me more motivated. It's all very intertwined.
It's difficult for me to tell if transition is making me more motivated. It's all very intertwined.
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: alexbb on March 05, 2015, 02:12:54 PM
Post by: alexbb on March 05, 2015, 02:12:54 PM
yep sounds like depression.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/men-and-depression/signs-and-symptoms-of-depression/loss-of-interest.shtml
"You basically lose interest in everything, you lose interest in everything, and you can't understand why."
—Paul Gottlieb, Publisher
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/men-and-depression/signs-and-symptoms-of-depression/loss-of-interest.shtml
"You basically lose interest in everything, you lose interest in everything, and you can't understand why."
—Paul Gottlieb, Publisher
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: transtastic on March 05, 2015, 02:14:29 PM
Post by: transtastic on March 05, 2015, 02:14:29 PM
I know it sounds like depression, but I've gone through every depressive medication that there is,
and nothing has helped. Which is why I was thinking that maybe the cause is something
existential instead - namely living in the wrong body - something no medication ever can help with
(except estrogen o/c)
and nothing has helped. Which is why I was thinking that maybe the cause is something
existential instead - namely living in the wrong body - something no medication ever can help with
(except estrogen o/c)
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: Raquel on March 05, 2015, 04:45:53 PM
Post by: Raquel on March 05, 2015, 04:45:53 PM
Many transexuals find that they still need to deal with their depression even after they've started to transition. Many times both issues need to be addressed before a person finds any relief. Here's a link to an article that helped me a lot with my situation- http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2014/03/darker-shades-of-pink-having-depression-when-youre-transgender/ That was the arcticle that finally made me realize that I was transexual. After reading it, I saw a therapist and started HRT.
I would recommend talking to a therapist.
Hugs,
Raquel :)
I would recommend talking to a therapist.
Hugs,
Raquel :)
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: Seras on March 05, 2015, 08:10:36 PM
Post by: Seras on March 05, 2015, 08:10:36 PM
I had zero drive or ambition pre-transition. No hobbies really except smoking the weed and computer gaming. Now a year later I still have some problems with motivation sometimes but there are things I like to do, I have taken up cooking and that's pretty cool. I am also planning a trip to go see a friend who lives way away this summer after my ffs. I hardly game any more compared to before and I gave up smoking. For me it got easier. If you think you are trans then if you transition I imagine it should make life easier, make you less depressed, make you see a future you actually want to live.
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: AnonyMs on March 05, 2015, 09:51:05 PM
Post by: AnonyMs on March 05, 2015, 09:51:05 PM
That sounds like me for many years, although I never took any medication. It was depression and I didn't even realize it. Low dose estrogen fixed it. I still don't do anything, but that's only because work far too much.
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: Katie on March 05, 2015, 10:01:53 PM
Post by: Katie on March 05, 2015, 10:01:53 PM
I have to say my hobbies changed a lot as I went through transition and years after. I can only assume the hormones had something to do with that.
I still do a lot of the things I used to do but for example I change the oil in the truck but I HATE doing it these days where I used to like doing it. Go figure.
I still do a lot of the things I used to do but for example I change the oil in the truck but I HATE doing it these days where I used to like doing it. Go figure.
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: Mallory on March 06, 2015, 01:29:43 AM
Post by: Mallory on March 06, 2015, 01:29:43 AM
So I'm not the only one! I sat in front of a computer for 5 years and rotted away in the most sedentary lifestyle you can imagine. Video games, hobbyist programming, all day every day. Guess what? There's the problem!
My life completely changed when I moved 4500 miles to Alaska and didn't bring my computer. I was literally forced to become more outgoing and physically active, which is exactly what I wanted. I always loved hiking but rarely ever went, so I started doing that far more. Last March I weighted 271 pounds; I'm down to 203.
Get out from in front of the computer and live! :)
My life completely changed when I moved 4500 miles to Alaska and didn't bring my computer. I was literally forced to become more outgoing and physically active, which is exactly what I wanted. I always loved hiking but rarely ever went, so I started doing that far more. Last March I weighted 271 pounds; I'm down to 203.
Get out from in front of the computer and live! :)
Title: Re: Pre-transitioner and no hobbies, interests, no nothing.
Post by: LizMarie on March 06, 2015, 11:03:16 AM
Post by: LizMarie on March 06, 2015, 11:03:16 AM
As I move through transition, some of my old interests remain but many I began to realize were part of my attempts to be "macho". And new things are taking my interests as I move forward.
I had a great love of music when younger and still fighting with myself over my sense of self, then that got buried as I moved into adulthood and was made worse with hearing loss as an adult. Now I find myself returning to an interest in it and finally learning what I can and cannot listen to and enjoy despite that handicap. Without transition, I don't think I would have even tried.
But as others have noted, depression might in play here too. And the medications may not have helped because it's depression at your GID so until you tackle that, you may not be able to shake it.
If you are seeing a therapist, I'd start discussing gender identity issues. If you are not, I'd advise starting. Be honest, open, and listen. A good therapist will make you think, make you remember things you've wanted to suppress, and help you face certain things about yourself. But that only happens if you can be honest and open.
I had a great love of music when younger and still fighting with myself over my sense of self, then that got buried as I moved into adulthood and was made worse with hearing loss as an adult. Now I find myself returning to an interest in it and finally learning what I can and cannot listen to and enjoy despite that handicap. Without transition, I don't think I would have even tried.
But as others have noted, depression might in play here too. And the medications may not have helped because it's depression at your GID so until you tackle that, you may not be able to shake it.
If you are seeing a therapist, I'd start discussing gender identity issues. If you are not, I'd advise starting. Be honest, open, and listen. A good therapist will make you think, make you remember things you've wanted to suppress, and help you face certain things about yourself. But that only happens if you can be honest and open.