Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, recently I finally told someone that I'm transgender, although I didn't plan to. One of my friends, who I live with in the moment, just said that she had noticed that I was unhappy being female and even said that I was more suited for a guy. Then she asked me if I have ever considered transitioning and I decided to tell her the truth. She wasn't surprized at all and said that she had expected it and that she will support me if this is what will make me happy. But she also said that she doesn't see it as something normal and believes that it's a choice and that she also can't see me as a real man before I have GRS, which botheres me. I asked her to call me by male pronouns and use my preffered name, but she doesn't even try to do this, although she said she will try. Also, because in our language we put gendered endings on the words, like in Spanish, I use the male ones and she uses female ones and it feels very awkward. I tried to talk with her about it, but nothing changed. I want to be myself when I'm with her, because she's the only person in real life who knows about it, but I began to feel ashamed of using male pronouns and words, because I feel like she doesn't take me seriously. Sometimes, I feel it will be better to tell her to forget about everything I told her, but I know that there's no turning back now. I don't want to take this step back, anyway. I don't know what to do about it. Being around her makes me feel very uncomfortable and we live together.

i'm sorry that you feel uncomfortable around her and i understand where ur coming from, my friend is the same way he doesnt accept and believe that im transgender and its hard since he is my best friend, i myself wish that everyone could accept everyone for who they are but it just doesnt work that way, maybe in time she willl accept it so i wouldn't worry too much right now, maybe shes just not comfortable with it at the moment.

Because I am a new face around here, I feel a little apprehensive about butting in, but here goes any way ....

I think we all to some extent struggle with trying to explain what is essentially unexplainable.  Yes, we can cite to different scientific theories behind all of this.  We know its not a choice.  But if its not your reality, it is a very difficult thing, if not impossible, to understand.  What I tell people when coming out is that I am not asking for your understanding, I am simply asking for your acceptance.  Part of acceptance is respecting how I wish to be addressed.  If your friend simply refuses and does not even try to respect your request to use the right pronouns, give it a little time and maybe a polite reminder.  Remember how long it is taking all of us to figure this whole trans thing out (if ever).  Your friend has only had a fraction of the time to absorb this.  Although I think very few people will ever get to the point of really understanding, hopefully most will come to a point of love and acceptance.  If not, over time, then there is not much you can do.