Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry I know there's a thread for this but I'm probably going to leave these up for a very limited time and so would like to get as many people's opinions as possible.

I basically think that I can't ever hope to pass or even just look good enough to be happy but I still have little moments where I think maybe there's a tiny chance and if there is any chance at all I feel like I can't let it slip by. But yea I know these pictures are not great and actually hide a bunch of masculine stuff, but there doesn't seem like putting up worse looking ones if I don't have to.

My only hope is that I'm somehow seeing myself too harshly as I know people can do. But I really don't think I'm doing that. What you can't tell from these pictures is just how huge everything is, feet, hands, body, face, head, because there's no context, and that's basically what is the worst thing for me-just my overall size. I could maybe pass in a photo, but never in real life. But anyway here goes. A bit scared about doing this so I am just going to put the links and not the images directly.

<a href="http://s44.photobucket.com/user/sonybarcelona/media/IMG_1265_zpslfau0gdr.jpg.html" target="_blank">

<a href="http://s44.photobucket.com/user/sonybarcelona/media/IMG_1117_zps03bb4645.jpg.html" target="_blank">

<a href="http://s44.photobucket.com/user/sonybarcelona/media/IMG_1096_zpsfac2557a.jpg.html" target="_blank">

What do you think?

You'd make a better looking woman than myself...and I pass until people get closer than 30' (~10m) away. Your face is fine, and there are ways to hide large hands and feet if you want to do that.

Physique-wise, you need hips, but you just gotta do what cis-women do when they don't have enough hips: buy pads. They do work, btw.

Your face is especially lovely! Your chin, jaw, and hairline already look fairly feminine to me! And your eyes are gorgeous! Bodywise it seems you've lifted weights in the past and hormones should reduce the bulk of that.. some girls here went from hulking male bodies to very delicate looking ones on hrt! Anyway.. I feel your pain, but you're beautiful and will be a beautiful woman, I think! :)

I agree with rest so far and HRT will only soften things up and make you more beautiful along with getting rid of some of the bulk you gained over time. You will pass and the potential needed for that is there now.
Mariah

Of course you have a chance. Time, HRT, and makeup can do wonders.

You have so much potential. Time, HRT, Diet and Make-Up will do more than wonders for you. It will transform you :)

Goodluck on your journey

xoxo

April

Honey, that face nails it right down for me. You could shave your head and sound like James Earl Jones and I'd still see you as one outrageously cute girl. [lesbian moment intensifies]

Aaaaaaaand now I've regained my composure.

The way you described yourself in your other thread I was expecting, god knows what. By you have a lot of potential. I won't say 100% yes that HRT will get you there - because HRT alone will never do the trick (and of course it'll take 2 or more years to even do that), a lot of it is still up to you and how you present yourself but I'd say you've got a much better chance of getting to be the person you want to be than you currently believe you do.

Ms OrangeJuice

Wow - you are being waaaay to critical about yourself :D   Ditto Grace's comment on previous posts.

You've got a lovely face and it would work really nicely with a bit of HRT.  Perhaps a few retouches might be needed, but we'd need to see more shots of your face.  But, from what we see, the raw material is good and you'd be pretty cute, seriously.

As for body, it would lose bulk on HRT, but again, size is not the biggest (ahem!) issue.  We have a girl here who's 6'4" and she gets ma'amed all the time - principally it's an attitude thing.

Hugs
Julia

I don't do this often

Him
http://i1240.photobucket.com/albums/gg499/8295/pre-01.jpg?1425716668059 (http://i1240.photobucket.com/albums/gg499/8295/pre-01.jpg?1425716668059)


Me

http://i1240.photobucket.com/albums/gg499/8295/cindyconference.jpg?1425716666921&1425716668059 (http://i1240.photobucket.com/albums/gg499/8295/cindyconference.jpg?1425716666921&1425716668059)

Guess what Life does change for the better!

I think you are way too harsh on yourself. Don't focus on the negatives and assume you "can't" - you have a soft face, you could definitely transition successfully.

Consider where you are now, where you'd like to be, and how you're going to get there. Don't assume because you feel terrible now that you will do so in the future. As others have said, a lot of changes can happen. One of the big things that helps make them happen is a desire to be happy, and an even greater desire to make that happen!

Good luck for the future!

You certainly don't have a very masculinised face, over time you will find that your face will get very feminine... It does take time... "Won't happen over night, but it will happen" ( :laugh: from some hair product ad here in Aussie a few years ago)

It's always hard to see how you'll look in the future.... But we don't have those powers  :'(

But enjoy the ride !

L Katy

Wow. It is a really good pic but even still I wasn't expecting those responses. Thanks. It's hard not to be encouraged by that. But it does cover some stuff. My forehead and nose are more masculine than they appear in that and I unfortunately have a pretty large scar from playing sports on the side of my right eye which you can't see. And my hair is thinning more than it appears there, but I'd be hopeful that might change if I went on HRT because it used to be super thick.

I do think that with maybe a little bit of FFS my face could totally pass in a picture, it's more the whole picture of being on a large head and a large body. I think it's mostly my feet that make me think I'd just stand out as a man in women's clothing instantly. They are huge. And the the thing is I actually have a really feminine shape to my calves and thighs but then there's just these stupid huge feet at the bottom which makes them stand out even more. They are kind of long and slender looking though. It's weird sometimes I wonder, despite my hands and feet being huge in size they are really soft looking and I've always been teased by my friends for having such soft skin on my face and hands. I also have this weird pelvic bone that is actually wider than my rib cage. That's why I've always kept my upper body built to hide it because it looks weird. Anyway I wonder because  I briefly came across some relatively minor intersex conditions in males where a very high and wide pelvis is typical, but that is probably just me trying to find a way to give myself permission to feel this way.

Having said all that, it is hard not to feel happy with the responses here. Thanks a lot!

Quote from: orangejuice on March 07, 2015, 06:31:02 AM
...It's weird sometimes I wonder, despite my hands and feet being huge in size they are really soft looking and I've always been teased by my friends for having such soft skin on my face and hands. I also have this weird pelvic bone that is actually wider than my rib cage. That's why I've always kept my upper body built to hide it because it looks weird....

Indeed... sometimes our bodies are actually more of a help than we expect.  As a guy I always had to get my clothes altered.  Now, everything just fits straight off the peg, even those cute little dresses, precisely because they're meant for girls with very few curves  :D ....

So, now that we've solved your anxiety, let's see how we can really get you started  ;)

xxx
J

Hi again orange juice. Get on with it already. The GICs have like a year long waiting list anyway. You can always bail later if you change your mind.  I remember you posted some months ago and here you are again. The invitation to add me on skype or steam still stands if you are brave enough yet :P

Go see your GP go get referred to a GIC doctor patient confidentiality is a thing. At least go check it out even if you decide against it you can at least be happy you looked into this stuff properly.

Your frame size does not look too large, and since a large frame is the biggest obstacle to feminization (aside from old age), I think you would be surprised by how much the HRT would feminize your body. If you are concerned about hair and considering transitioning, you should try to get a doctor to prescribe a 5AR inhibitor such as finasteride as soon as possible. One does not need to be 'out' or transitioning in order to obtain that, and it would buy time. I certainly wish I had used one before taking the plunge. :(

You have as much potential as you let yourself.  If you decide to transition, it's easier when you're younger, especially if you have body issues.  It's tricky critiquing people's images, and I think it's easier if you know that whatever decision you make, we will accept you.  Transitioning isn't easy, but it can be very rewarding.

Yes.  Every day you have the chance to change and reshape your life to better suit your goals and potential.

Do you have the determination to follow through on your goals?

Best of luck, no matter your decisions, and give yourself a hug from me (I always feel better after a hug),
-Katie

Hey OJ,

I think you have lots of feminine traits, and your eyes are super feminine! The beard shadow is a little distracting, but try not to worry too much.

The wide hips are something us ftms would really like to get rid of, so that really shouldn't keep you from passing (shoulder - hip ratio and all that)  :)

Thank you everyone. Hey Seras, ye I'm going to start moving things forward again as soon as I get to the bottom of a few things that have been going on for me health wise. Responses here really have been a shock to me but it has made me think a bit  differently. I mean I still don't think I could pass , it was a flattering pic and the body is the main issue, but I really really want to find out just in case I can. It made me so happy to have people look at my pic and see me and talk to me as the girl I wish I was which was a massive confirmation to me that I am trans. Might seem weird given all that I've already done but I still question that sometimes

So ye lying in bed last night I pretty much resolved I want to try low dose HRT and I'm going to go about moving down that road!  I'd be pretty happy and chilled about doing that actually if it wasn't for being scared about breast growth. I dunno why but I just have the feeling I might be lucky in that area on HRT. Family indications I suppose. And then if it turns out I don't pass enough to feel good about myself then being left with that wouldn't be great!

But still thanks everyone I feel a bit more hopeful now about the future.

You are quite muscular sadly, so am I which means you'll have a harder time on HRT just like me.
Otherwise, you should be fine in time. Patience is the key here I guess. I tend to complain
a lot about my "lack of progress" due to HRT, but really, it goes quite well. It did a lot for
my body alone. Not so much for my face (FFS planned in 2 years time). So yeah, just be patient,
that's the best advice I can give you.

D'awwww. I think you look super cute, face-wise. You look like you are 23, maybe 24, no? Your face is so pretty and femmey. Your eyes are gorgeous. Though, you could do your eyebrows. That will help immensly. You already look super femmey so if you do your eyebrows, you'll notice an outstanding difference. Removing the beard shadow will also help. I agree that you're being way too harsh on yourself, to me you look very feminine and have lots of potential. However, your body is quite bulky and muscular, which might not be a problem, but it will take more time for your body to feminize. You'll need to be especially careful with what you wear so you don't emphasize this. But really you're so pretty and even if you decide not to transition, you are still quite cute and give such an handsome man, lol. jeez sorry,

Quote from: Auroramarianna on March 08, 2015, 05:56:39 PM
D'awwww. I think you look super cute, face-wise. You look like you are 23, maybe 24, no? Your face is so pretty and femmey. Your eyes are gorgeous. Though, you could do your eyebrows. That will help immensly. You already look super femmey so if you do your eyebrows, you'll notice an outstanding difference. Removing the beard shadow will also help. I agree that you're being way too harsh on yourself, to me you look very feminine and have lots of potential. However, your body is quite bulky and muscular, which might not be a problem, but it will take more time for your body to feminize. You'll need to be especially careful with what you wear so you don't emphasize this. But really you're so pretty and even if you decide not to transition, you are still quite cute and give such an handsome man, lol. jeez sorry,

Well shucks thanks. I'm going to be 26 this week actually. Kinda terrified that I'm at an age where I've just missed the boat in terms of getting really convincing results from HRT. Because that pic honestly is really flattering. It's basically how I looked all the time 4 or 5 years ago, actually I had even softer features and waaay more hair, but now it's only in certain lights, angles, if my hair is sitting right etc. Most of the time I'm revolted by what I see when I catch a glimpse in the mirror or in pictures these days.
But ye it's my body that is the main issue and I agree I'll (I'd?) be pretty limited with what I can wear. I'm  kinda cool with that though. If it wasn't for the breasts thing I'd be sailing. Take HRT, hopefully feel better, know that I'm not going to masculinise any more at least, which I KNOW would make me feel better,  and just dress in nice jeans and cool androgynous t-shirts with the right fit. And then if it turns out that HRT does work miracles then I could take it from there. That is pretty much my plan I think. Probably naive but hey it's better than doing nothing given how much this is ruining my life at the moment.

And you know even though I know that pic is flattering I still didn't look at it and think I looked in any way feminine which a lot of people have said here so that's cool maybe I'm doing that with my appearance as a whole.

Thinking you look rubbish is pretty much par for the course when it comes to being trans. Until you realise you don't. It takes some time to get over years of hating your appearance. Which is often not half as bad as the self image.

you will be beautiful.  Trust me hon.  HRT will soften up everything, and you won't recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror.