Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have witnessed a dramatic change in my personality since going into transition. During most of my male life, I was rather quiet, and rarely engaged people in conversations without a definite reason or purpose. But in certain situations I am an extrovert on steroids now. I go into any bar, stay there for a few hours, and literally dominant the place by the end of the night. I can even do that now in boy mode, which was the case last night. It is usually my dancing that is the ice breaker for all that, but I can turn to somebody watching me, and just strike up a conversation. People seem to be moved by the way I do it. People call me a free spirit, and talk about how I absolutely own my own space.

I believe that person was always there, and it came out in certain situations. I believe some of that got channeled for a while into my internet presence. Whatever people might say about me on the internet, I doubt that bashful is a word that would come up. I believe I long repressed this part of me for a couple of reasons. I always feared that underneath I was not as masculine as I needed to be to cope in the world that put myself. I feared that the authentic me was pretty girly. When I was young, my mother used to reprimand me for laughing like a girl. I learned how to carefully control myself because of things like that. And control became a big part of my strategy to achieve what I wanted in life. When I started my transition, I pledged to myself that I was going to be absolutely authentic to whatever I felt inside. And in that thinking there emerged a very extroverted girl.

I am exactly the same I have gone from somebody that always hid in as corner and hoped nobody would notice Me . To a much happier more outgoing and I do believe more popular person than I have ever been in My life

Hugs Anita

Quote from: April Lee on March 11, 2015, 10:29:47 AM
I have witnessed a dramatic change in my personality since going into transition. During most of my male life, I was rather quiet, and rarely engaged people in conversations without a definite reason or purpose. But in certain situations I am an extrovert on steroids now. I go into any bar, stay there for a few hours, and literally dominant the place by the end of the night. I can even do that now in boy mode, which was the case last night. It is usually my dancing that is the ice breaker for all that, but I can turn to somebody watching me, and just strike up a conversation. People seem to be moved by the way I do it. People call me a free spirit, and talk about how I absolutely own my own space.

I believe that person was always there, and it came out in certain situations. I believe some of that got channeled for a while into my internet presence. Whatever people might say about me on the internet, I doubt that bashful is a word that would come up. I believe I long repressed this part of me for a couple of reasons. I always feared that underneath I was not as masculine as I needed to be to cope in the world that put myself. I feared that the authentic me was pretty girly. When I was young, my mother used to reprimand me for laughing like a girl. I learned how to carefully control myself because of things like that. And control became a big part of my strategy to achieve what I wanted in life. When I started my transition, I pledged to myself that I was going to be absolutely authentic to whatever I felt inside. And in that thinking there emerged a very extroverted girl.

Well, um, technically you are.  ;D

I know what you're talking about though. Once I had E in my system it's like everything awakened from deep slumber...

And the worst part is my wife is telling my (former) friends how I was so happy last year she doesn't understand why I'm transitioning this year... well helloooo that is the reason! I was taking low dose E and it helped a lot with my moods!

I don't think my basic personality has changed.. but if you asked people who know me they think I am a totally different person.. More approachable and comfy.. they actually like me better.. but I used to be pretty intimidating as a dude.. and on guard all the time..
Now, just an open book.  So I suppose maybe I have changed more than I think.. I just don't really know.. I just feel normal now.
Dodie

I really haven't noticed any change in 20 months of hrt, and no one has commented to the contrary.

I have also had a major personality chnage after a year on E. Dodie hit the nail on the head with the comment about now being an open book.
I used to hide myself, I would wear dull browns & greens (yuk), i'd wear a big coat, hat & headphones. This hid my body, my hair (or lack of) & made it very easy to block out the world. Now I favour purples, burgandy, blue & red clothes, anything but green & brown. I still wear headphones but I love my music.

I hardly ever initiated contact with people but now i'm often the first to pick up the phone & dial someones number, i'd only phone my mum if I needed something & now I phone her at least once a week just to see how she is, she's even stopped asking "so do you need something?" when I phone.

I used to be constantly angry, if someone lit the blue touch paper then they needed to back away quickly. I never resorted to violence but who needs fists when your mouth is a lethal weapon. Now it takes alot, I really mean bucket loads to make me angry enough to get verbal with an antagonist, I handle most situations calmly

I used to listen to nothing but heavy metal, now I listen to classical, 80's pop and female vocalists such as Chloe Agnew.

I used to play highly competitive video games & now if it's not a co-op game i'm not interested.

I believe that this personality was suppressed by my constant anger, anger at how unfair life has been to me, anger at society for not being accepting enough for me to transition earlier, anger at myself for being too cowardly to come out earlier in my life & anger for commiting myself to a relationship I was unhappy in & for dragging this lovely woman into a relationship that was doomed from day one.
Now I feel nothing but acceptance of myself, my life & those around me.

My family says that my personality has changed a lot. I don't know if it's the hormones, or not repressing my feminine self, or what.

Regardless, I'm now a lot more:

• talkative
• empathetic
• patient
• needy
• moody

Writing this, the list sounds cliche. But I much prefer the new me. Sis says that before, I was "a butthead". Now her eyes glaze over. :)

(https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=0B1qK1QDKjDX4bTlWNzJaMXk4UzQ)

Like other people said, I've totally changed. I used to be shy, thinking no one could truly understand me. Now that I'm myself, I'm much more outgoing.

Also, I used to hate shopping, not care much about my clothing, and hate housework. All of those things are no longer true.

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 11, 2015, 12:46:05 PM
I used to hate shopping, not care much about my clothing

I also used to hate shopping especialy for clothing, now it's become a sport for me ;)

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 11, 2015, 12:46:05 PM

and hate housework

I still hate housework, I like a clean house but hate cleaning. It could be because I started contract cleaning at 12yrs old due to a family business, at 20ish I did contract cleaning every day for 2 weeks starting at 6am & finishing at 8 - 9pm with one day off every fortnight regardless of if I needed it or not!

Ok,
Had therapy today I talked to my therapist.. and asked her about this.
She said the male side of me sailed a long time ago. 
That I seem basically the same but totally female now.. totally comfortable and happy..
So I suppose it kind of confirms my first post.
I have just transformed into the real me.. no more pretending to be a dude.
I like it.
Dodie

Quote from: Dodie on March 11, 2015, 02:26:45 PM
... the male side of me sailed a long time ago ...

What a great image!

The movie version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nJMKcTIo4

This is one of the things that drove me to self acceptance. I have always felt like an extrovert but acted like an introvert. That control I had to constantly exert was such a killer. That little voice telling me not to do this or that because that's what women do, having to think before I did anything. I have a tiny bit of waiting for hrt but I already feel like I'm coming out of my shell. One of my closest friends even thought I was already on hormones. I can't wait for it all to begin and you ladies are giving me so much hope for the future.

I am so happy for you ladies. However, the impact to me was a bit different. I was a lot more talkative and flamboyant pre HRT.
However, since HRT I have been more mellow, quieter and a bit catty and most if not all of my friends notice it.

Quote from: Eveline on March 11, 2015, 02:45:34 PM
What a great image!

The movie version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nJMKcTIo4

Evelin's
Lol thanks for sharing that image
Cracked me up
Of course watching the movie I sure identified with Rose
Would luv to meet Leo in the hot steamy car now
He is a good looking dude, I am going to shut up now
Dodie

My personality was always "there", but there were certain aspects of it that I was programmed and conditioned into canning for most of my life.   It's like I was forced to live my life as a dysfunctional fraction of a person, and because of that and that whole "running on the wrong hormones" thing, I was never happy.  I was also angry, anxious, depressed and sad most of the time and exhibited some pretty reckless behaviors.

Now I feel like a genuine person with a genuine personality. I'm happy more often than not and I am finally enjoying life, smelling the flowers and breathing freely.

It is not that my personality have changed, is more like, since I'm more comfortable with the person who I'm, I tent to be more happy, open and outgoing.

I am definitely more sociable than I used to be pre-HRT. I think part of my confidence comes from the fact that I don't care what anyone else thinks about me or how I look. Though I do put lots of effort into getting dolled up every morning :)  I try very hard to ask others how they are doing and practice talking to random strangers. I may be making amends for my lack of sociability growing up and early adulthood.

Quote from: Sabrina on March 11, 2015, 10:10:45 PM
I am definitely more sociable than I used to be pre-HRT. I think part of my confidence comes from the fact that I don't care what anyone else thinks about me or how I look. Though I do put lots of effort into getting dolled up every morning :)  I try very hard to ask others how they are doing and practice talking to random strangers. I may be making amends for my lack of sociability growing up and early adulthood.

talking to stranger is the key to success! :D

Quote from: carmenkate on March 11, 2015, 03:31:42 PM
I am so happy for you ladies. However, the impact to me was a bit different. I was a lot more talkative and flamboyant pre HRT.
However, since HRT I have been more mellow, quieter and a bit catty and most if not all of my friends notice it.

After a few years on HRT I am waaaaay more flamboyant than I ever was. :icon_chick: I've really really toned down my outbursts and "think things through" now. I'd work on something, get frustrated, throw something on the floor (like tools), then sulk away. I'm so much more mellow than my former self and it's something I've noticed, especially recently.

HRT flipped that magic switch in me. Before? I resembled a hermit, withdrawn, hating social situations, had nothing to say, not happy. Now? reasonably outgoing, not withdrawn but not flamboyant, i love social situations, you cant shut me up  :laugh: and I finally know what happiness is  :) Did HRT solve all of my problems? Nope. It did get rid of the big one that was killing me and it enabled me to live my life as the person I really am.

I know as well as had it confirmed by others my personality has changed since my sort of transition. I think a lot of it comes from me stopping myself from thinking and acting within very narrow and rigidly define lines of behavior that I said was "Guy". I was shy, introverted, the only emotion allowed was basically anger. The not talking was partly due to being a stutterer, the remainder being me. Except when it was allowed, when I needed to be in "Salesmen Mode" as I called it. I know now I wasn't channeling my inner salesmen, I was simply letting Joanne out.

My personality has changed remarkably since I came out, but it is the HRT that made the changes possible. I feel (and my female relatives confirm) that I am much more patient and tolerant and show much more empathy and less anger. The social phobia that has crippled me since puberty is gone. I spend much more time and effort on my appearance despite caring less about what other people think of it. I knew all along that this is how I saw myself, but I felt unable to express that with a 30:1 ratio of testosterone to estradiol. Correcting my hormone levels has let out the woman I saw inside of me, and I am optimistic that my upcoming increase will stop her from constantly slipping behind the curtains. :)