Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'd managed to shove this thought back in the back of my mind for a while, but it just resurfaced (possibly triggered?).

I wonder, honestly, if my dysphoria isn't actually dysphoria...if maybe there's a deep-seated psychological cause for these feelings. And here's why:

When I was younger, I didn't really have any friends to speak of. The few I did have were female. The only person I was ever able to play with was my little sister (now brother), who preferred to play with dolls instead of my "guy toys".

In middle school, I finally made some guy friends, but by that point, I was more comfortable talking to girls, because boys had pushed me around, bullied me, and even beat me up a few times. I still hung out with girls more often than guys. Rumours started circulating that I was gay, simply because I wasn't dating any of them, and that caused even further male-based bullying, driving me even further away from making male friends.

So basically, I guess what I'm saying is - I've only ever been able to interact peacefully and/or get along with women my whole life. Could that be causing me to feel like I should be female, to better fit in amongst my friends?

Test it out. If youre trans... youll reach a point of feeling suicide at least for me.

But I only had a few female friends growing up and a few male friends. But  neither got to know the real me... most guys that were my friends were like bromance though sooo I dont know. Till this day.

Guys never bullied me. Pity me perhaps. But I was tall enough to look imposing till 13 or 14.... so I think that help. The worst bullying I receive were from girls.... but my friends were always the pretty girls... the ugly girls were usually rude.

I had the same fear. Really, the only way I was sure is when I started presenting female, and it felt more natural than I ever was as a male.

Quote from: Wild Flower on March 11, 2015, 12:47:27 PM
Test it out. If youre trans... youll reach a point of feeling suicide at least for me.

But I only had a few female friends growing up and a few male friends. But  neither got to know the real me... most guys that were my friends were like bromance though sooo I dont know. Till this day.

Guys never bullied me. Pity me perhaps. But I was tall enough to look imposing till 13 or 14.... so I think that help. The worst bullying I receive were from girls.... but my friends were always the pretty girls... the ugly girls were usually rude.

I've already been to the point of suicide over it, but I still have to wonder.

And I know what you mean about girls. The pretty ones always stuck up for me, and the not-so-much ones were always troublesome.

I was not ever close to being masculine.  When I was a child I really didn't have an understanding of "boy toys" and "girl toys". To me they were just toys. I remember other children calling them that but I never understood the division.  Growing up into middle school and I didn't grow breasts like the other girls. That I figured out that something was wrong with me. I've always kind of been around girls because I was a girl. I had guy friends too.  In high school that's when the major division hit hard.

Now I pass pretty well, I have huge implants and that tends to bring extra scrutiny but I've learned to ignore it. I've found that society as a whole are much more tolerant, than people think.  I'm not doing SRS because I'm scared to do it and to me, my sexual identity isn't defined by what's between my legs. If you see a counselor, talk to them about the suicidal thoughts as it could lead to a dark place quickly.

ya  know,  the   thing  i  would  recomend,  is  get  into  some  counsling. 
  a  good  shrink,  can  help  you  to  answer  your  own  questions. 
  at  some  point  in  transition,  we  all  have a  doubt,  big  or  small.   some  boast  they  knew  for  sure,  never  doubted,  i  dont  buy  it.  everyone  has  doubts,  and  the  only  way  to know  for  sure  is  to  seek  professional  assistance  in  answering  your  questions  and  addressing  your  doubts.

Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 11, 2015, 12:52:54 PM
I've already been to the point of suicide over it, but I still have to wonder.

And I know what you mean about girls. The pretty ones always stuck up for me, and the not-so-much ones were always troublesome.

Even as adult the prettier women were my friends.... but age is irrelevant. 20-60 year olds were my friend

I dont know why. Not always though.  It could be that ugly females get intimidated by me or by anything better looking than themselves (straight women only), and when Im pretty they get their guard up that I could take their men. While pretty women dont have that fear. Or low self esteem... and just want to hurt others.

I've thought about this type of thing for myself numerous times. The problem is, just thinking about it doesn't really answer any questions. It just causes more confusion. You really do need to test it out. At least there's that option without going all out on a transition though.