General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: Summer on March 14, 2015, 08:43:44 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: Summer on March 14, 2015, 08:43:44 AM
Post by: Summer on March 14, 2015, 08:43:44 AM
Please I apologise ahead and this will trigger some emotions for some I just have to let it out I am in turmoil right now my world and universe is collapsing.
I came out to my wife 8 months ago and have been on hrt for 7 months we have two beautiful girls 3 and 8 months.
When I came out I new there would be a high chance she would leave me but to my excitement she accepted me.
And that has helped me so much threw this last 7 months but deep down I always think that she may leave in the future as she is a straight woman .
slowly over the months I have changed physically and definitely emotionally pretty much all male traits / characteristics have gone and this is were my darkest fear has started to grow in my mind.
I have noticed that she is getting a bit upset with the fact that her partner is very much a woman .
We had a chat tonight and she wants to leave me as she can not be in a lesbian relationship she needs a mans attention.
I feared this day and the fact that I have 2 girls that in a way I am losing as well is breaking my heart.
She is a beautiful woman and it kills me that I've put her threw this but I came to a fork in the road back then which involved death or come out and still be around for my kids so transition it was and I feel amazing inside and out.
But now that I know I'm going to loose her and she will take the kids I will get to see them but not every day has broken me and my heart I'm feeling like I did when I reached that fork in the road.
I don't know if I have the strength to get threw this.
My life has been a struggle been stuck in the wrong body yer thanks for that I work threw that then I get a taste of life's sweet things then life deals me another harsh reality blow
And takes away more aspects of my life now I'm picking up the peices again I just don't know if I have anymore strength left.
my wife is my world my kids are my universe I don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
I am so sorry for this thread I apologise I just feel like my lights have just been switched off and I can't see clarity.
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I came out to my wife 8 months ago and have been on hrt for 7 months we have two beautiful girls 3 and 8 months.
When I came out I new there would be a high chance she would leave me but to my excitement she accepted me.
And that has helped me so much threw this last 7 months but deep down I always think that she may leave in the future as she is a straight woman .
slowly over the months I have changed physically and definitely emotionally pretty much all male traits / characteristics have gone and this is were my darkest fear has started to grow in my mind.
I have noticed that she is getting a bit upset with the fact that her partner is very much a woman .
We had a chat tonight and she wants to leave me as she can not be in a lesbian relationship she needs a mans attention.
I feared this day and the fact that I have 2 girls that in a way I am losing as well is breaking my heart.
She is a beautiful woman and it kills me that I've put her threw this but I came to a fork in the road back then which involved death or come out and still be around for my kids so transition it was and I feel amazing inside and out.
But now that I know I'm going to loose her and she will take the kids I will get to see them but not every day has broken me and my heart I'm feeling like I did when I reached that fork in the road.
I don't know if I have the strength to get threw this.
My life has been a struggle been stuck in the wrong body yer thanks for that I work threw that then I get a taste of life's sweet things then life deals me another harsh reality blow
And takes away more aspects of my life now I'm picking up the peices again I just don't know if I have anymore strength left.
my wife is my world my kids are my universe I don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
I am so sorry for this thread I apologise I just feel like my lights have just been switched off and I can't see clarity.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: Devlyn on March 14, 2015, 09:59:22 AM
Post by: Devlyn on March 14, 2015, 09:59:22 AM
Big hug! This is the muddy part of the trek, you can get through it, but it will be rough going. Sending strength your way.
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: suzifrommd on March 14, 2015, 11:06:12 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on March 14, 2015, 11:06:12 AM
Hugs, Summer, I've been there. It's the hardest thing to accept that transition can cause distance in a marriage, but it's a reality. I went through some of the same things you did. At first my wife seemed to be OK with it, but then she asked me for a divorce.
The only good news is that you are strong. Strong enough to deal with whatever happens. I promise. You may not like it, but you have the strength to deal with it.
Please protect yourself, both legally and emotionally. You have legal rights and you need to make sure they are protected. For the sake of your children, you also will need to go down the painful road of learning to be without her support. Both these steps will make the journey easier in the end.
The only good news is that you are strong. Strong enough to deal with whatever happens. I promise. You may not like it, but you have the strength to deal with it.
Please protect yourself, both legally and emotionally. You have legal rights and you need to make sure they are protected. For the sake of your children, you also will need to go down the painful road of learning to be without her support. Both these steps will make the journey easier in the end.
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: chefskenzie on March 14, 2015, 01:59:35 PM
Post by: chefskenzie on March 14, 2015, 01:59:35 PM
HUGS TO YOU.
This is hard. One of the hardest things you will have to face and deal with. You do have rights as a parent. I know it will hurt, but you deserve happiness, as does your wife. Maybe try and work out an arrangement where you have equal time with the kids.
Your wife needs time to grieve the loss of her husband. While YOU the person is still there, she may need time to process all of this. In the end, it may all work out. In the end it may not, but you both will be able to move on, happily, and part of each others lives.
Talk with your therapist about this. Talk out any fears with your wife. We are all here for you
This is hard. One of the hardest things you will have to face and deal with. You do have rights as a parent. I know it will hurt, but you deserve happiness, as does your wife. Maybe try and work out an arrangement where you have equal time with the kids.
Your wife needs time to grieve the loss of her husband. While YOU the person is still there, she may need time to process all of this. In the end, it may all work out. In the end it may not, but you both will be able to move on, happily, and part of each others lives.
Talk with your therapist about this. Talk out any fears with your wife. We are all here for you
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: JoanneB on March 14, 2015, 02:54:22 PM
Post by: JoanneB on March 14, 2015, 02:54:22 PM
My heart goes out to you.
My wife and I struggle with this constantly. She is supportive, to a point. She always knew I had GD, just a cross-dresser, ages ago. "I did not marry a woman" I often heard early on, still do a little. I did kick the table over. Over time she saw how much personal growth I has obtaining. How I began growing into a for real person. One she knew I could always be. After five years of this and the physical changes from HRT, it is becoming all too real for her. She anticipates me wanting to leave her. Sometimes asking for a pre-emptive divorce. (Betrayal and abandonment are hot-button issues for her)
My wife and I struggle with this constantly. She is supportive, to a point. She always knew I had GD, just a cross-dresser, ages ago. "I did not marry a woman" I often heard early on, still do a little. I did kick the table over. Over time she saw how much personal growth I has obtaining. How I began growing into a for real person. One she knew I could always be. After five years of this and the physical changes from HRT, it is becoming all too real for her. She anticipates me wanting to leave her. Sometimes asking for a pre-emptive divorce. (Betrayal and abandonment are hot-button issues for her)
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: Summer on March 14, 2015, 05:51:33 PM
Post by: Summer on March 14, 2015, 05:51:33 PM
Tnx for your words girls im really hoping I can get threw this.
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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: LordKAT on March 15, 2015, 12:40:27 AM
Post by: LordKAT on March 15, 2015, 12:40:27 AM
Sending you warm vibes and a will for the strength you need. It is hard to go through any big life change, losing your family is definitely a big one.
Title: Re: Don't know if I can deal with this TRIGGER WARNING
Post by: Taius on March 15, 2015, 03:38:49 AM
Post by: Taius on March 15, 2015, 03:38:49 AM
Oh Summer this is horrible. I'm so sorry! I really wish you the best of luck in getting through this rough time.
It's very tough, but try to remember that you made the right decision for your own well being. We're all here for you.
It's very tough, but try to remember that you made the right decision for your own well being. We're all here for you.