Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 04:08:00 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Does she already know?
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 04:08:00 AM
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 04:08:00 AM
With all these threads on coming out to your SO and the varying outcomes of this, it got me to thinking about when I come out to my SO...
Over the last number of years:
- Been outed for wearing Mascara
- Been outed for leaving odd items of woman's undies
- Been outed twice for wearing a bra under male clothes (very long while ago)
- Ears pierced twice
- Outed with Belly button piercing (not there now anyway as twice infected)
- Very shaped Eyebrows (although thin) for last 2 to 3 years
- Obvious boobs (B cup, so not big, but definitely there and bouncy
- Remnants of Perfume
- Clear Lacquer on toe nails
- Been outed with nail colour remnants on fingers
- Too many bags when going away
- No sign of male underwear in the washing
- Hairless body for last 5 or so years (used to be like a gorilla before HRT)
- Leg and Arm hair missing (as above)
- MPB very slowly reversing (I do mean slowly)
- Massive interest in Women's wear and shopping (now much more open and with opinions)
- Massive array of Moisturizers (we often buy and share!!!!)
- Never wear Male perfumes
- Always trying to keep nails in shape (still a hard battle there, except for ring and smallest fingers)
- Unisex shoes
- Skinny low waisted jeans, nothing else now
- Avoid doing pool time with family....
Hmmm methinks she has more than an inkling, but is afraid to ask or get told?????
Maybe I am miss-judging the possible reaction, maybe if it will be fine, but probably with rules, like discretion, at least initially??? Although its going to be no picnic after decades of deceit on my part... will get that thrown back
Maybe I am panicking unnecessarily???
Thoughts anyone???
Extremely nervous Katy :-*
Over the last number of years:
- Been outed for wearing Mascara
- Been outed for leaving odd items of woman's undies
- Been outed twice for wearing a bra under male clothes (very long while ago)
- Ears pierced twice
- Outed with Belly button piercing (not there now anyway as twice infected)
- Very shaped Eyebrows (although thin) for last 2 to 3 years
- Obvious boobs (B cup, so not big, but definitely there and bouncy
- Remnants of Perfume
- Clear Lacquer on toe nails
- Been outed with nail colour remnants on fingers
- Too many bags when going away
- No sign of male underwear in the washing
- Hairless body for last 5 or so years (used to be like a gorilla before HRT)
- Leg and Arm hair missing (as above)
- MPB very slowly reversing (I do mean slowly)
- Massive interest in Women's wear and shopping (now much more open and with opinions)
- Massive array of Moisturizers (we often buy and share!!!!)
- Never wear Male perfumes
- Always trying to keep nails in shape (still a hard battle there, except for ring and smallest fingers)
- Unisex shoes
- Skinny low waisted jeans, nothing else now
- Avoid doing pool time with family....
Hmmm methinks she has more than an inkling, but is afraid to ask or get told?????
Maybe I am miss-judging the possible reaction, maybe if it will be fine, but probably with rules, like discretion, at least initially??? Although its going to be no picnic after decades of deceit on my part... will get that thrown back
Maybe I am panicking unnecessarily???
Thoughts anyone???
Extremely nervous Katy :-*
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: rosinstraya on March 16, 2015, 04:26:18 AM
Post by: rosinstraya on March 16, 2015, 04:26:18 AM
Hi Katy,
My normal response is to say that no one really knows until you tell them, however you do seem to have left a lot of "clues" over the years.
I think it is still best to tell her the complete situation regarding you, rather than wait for sonething to happen. At the moment you wonder what might happen when she knows, but it seems fairly clear that she is going to know at some point. If you tell her, you at least are making a move towards finding out what will happen. Obviously you know her best, so you are in the best position to decide when to tell her.
Ros
My normal response is to say that no one really knows until you tell them, however you do seem to have left a lot of "clues" over the years.
I think it is still best to tell her the complete situation regarding you, rather than wait for sonething to happen. At the moment you wonder what might happen when she knows, but it seems fairly clear that she is going to know at some point. If you tell her, you at least are making a move towards finding out what will happen. Obviously you know her best, so you are in the best position to decide when to tell her.
Ros
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 04:43:48 AM
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 04:43:48 AM
Hi Ros, yeah... I know I have to, and will do as soon as my backup plans are in place. But I laying in bed finding it difficult to sleep I started thinking back over the last few years.... It just started me thinking... anyway is an interesting exercise
Ooh taa BTW :-*
L Katy
Ooh taa BTW :-*
L Katy
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: Ms Grace on March 16, 2015, 04:51:47 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on March 16, 2015, 04:51:47 AM
You've been on HRT since 2003 and she's noticed nothing? I find it hard to believe, even with a very low dose of the stuff it must have had some noticeable effects??
Anyway, as Ros says, you can't really know what others know or think until you raise it with them. For most people, someone transitioning genders is probably the furtherest thing from their minds. They usually go to the "might be gay" base first.
Anyway, as Ros says, you can't really know what others know or think until you raise it with them. For most people, someone transitioning genders is probably the furtherest thing from their minds. They usually go to the "might be gay" base first.
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:02:39 AM
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:02:39 AM
Hi Grace, hmmm was the other thought process too :-\ Probably the right one
It was kind of... wow all this... just was overload on my mind and just had to consider the legacy
It took about 4 ~ 5 years on HRT to get to a noticeable point... I guess, living closely you don't notice what's right in front of you, especially as the changes were gradual....
Taa Grace :-*
L Katy
It was kind of... wow all this... just was overload on my mind and just had to consider the legacy
It took about 4 ~ 5 years on HRT to get to a noticeable point... I guess, living closely you don't notice what's right in front of you, especially as the changes were gradual....
Taa Grace :-*
L Katy
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: Cindy on March 16, 2015, 05:07:50 AM
Post by: Cindy on March 16, 2015, 05:07:50 AM
I remember when I came out, my sister in law just said she had known for years. She'd noticed all of the changes.
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:11:41 AM
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:11:41 AM
Hi Cindy... Yeah that is my better outcome, anyway it really is a catalogue, probably other things, they were front of mind.... Anyway, all supposition until I actually pull myself together and have the conversation..
Thanks Cindy :-*
L Katy
Thanks Cindy :-*
L Katy
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: Laura_7 on March 16, 2015, 05:15:53 AM
Post by: Laura_7 on March 16, 2015, 05:15:53 AM
You could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184646.msg1641345.html#msg1641345
The second brochure states that being trans has some biological connections, which is imo socially a bit better acceptable, and it might help with self acceptance.
Well you never know exactly how people react... but they might surprise in a positive way....
remaining calm and constructive during the talk might help... and imagining the desired outcome :)
hugs
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184646.msg1641345.html#msg1641345
The second brochure states that being trans has some biological connections, which is imo socially a bit better acceptable, and it might help with self acceptance.
Well you never know exactly how people react... but they might surprise in a positive way....
remaining calm and constructive during the talk might help... and imagining the desired outcome :)
hugs
Title: Re: Does she already know?
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:25:32 AM
Post by: katrinaw on March 16, 2015, 05:25:32 AM
Thanks Laura... I imagine the desired outcomes (positively) daily... and thanks for the link, will check it out :-* I also am trying to prepare for the worst too... just in case :(
L Katy
L Katy