Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Who's the biggest hero in my life to this point? After years of hatred, fears, frustrations, depression, desperation, pain, sorrow, abuse and self destruction I would have to say it's my old male self...!

After all we've been through, he still found a way to survive! Found a way to exit in a world that told him he wasn't right, wasn't good enough. Told him it wasn't possable to be feeling the way he did. What he wanted didn't matter...! He had every reason to quit, every reason to fold. Through thick and thin he made it to this point. Through it all he persevered and kept me safe. Did the best that he could with what was given....!

I'm very proud of him, I very proud to know him. I'm very proud to call him a friend.... I love him and always will... Thanks to him Melissa is here and he will always be a part of me!

Who's your hero and why?

Much Love,
Melissa Ann

I have lots of heroes. Why pick one?

Bailey Jay and Kurt Cobain. Both of them have helped me feel better about who I am, about being unapologetically who I am. Every little thing I had down in there that I felt ashamed of, these two have shown me how it's okay to be me.

My brother. I was such a frail, crippled kid, and my brother was always there to look out for me. He always protected me while still roughing me up in a loving way. He and I are very, very different people, but we love each other tremendously.

John Frusciante and Kathleen Hanna. Lump them in with Bailey Jay and Kurt Cobain for the same reasons.

My friend Lauren. Badass punk rock skateboarding chick. Not afraid to get dirty, take slams, or piss herself. She's so much fun to be with, and we're both boisterous as hell.

John Cardiel. The gnarliest skater of all time. Dude got run over by a truck and still skates. His doctor told him there was zero chance he'd ever walk again. He told his doctor, f-you. With such a persistent passion for life, he inspires me to get the most out of everything.

My wife.   If it wasn't for her, I don't think I'd be here writing this.

I have a lot of heroes. Right now at the top of the list would be Lynn Conway.

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 16, 2015, 05:13:15 PM
I have a lot of heroes. Right now at the top of the list would be Lynn Conway.

Me too. She's at the top of my list.

I have a few of them though. Jowelle DeSouza is one. And this is not kissing up or anything but I feel that I look up to Susan and the staff here. Without this site I probably wouldn't be here. I have an excellent therapist, doctor and nurse practitioner but I get a LOT of support here and most importantly I realize that I AM NOT ALONE.

My old male self? Yeah, he's done a lot for me, emigrated to the USA, took the brave steps but I think he could have done this a lot sooner and saved me a lot of trouble.

I would also have to say myself, male or female. I've always being able to pull myself off the ground when I've been down. But I can't deny that this site and the members on it have been heroes to me aswell.

Susan and the staff here are pretty high up on that list as well, as is my former therapist.

I can't pick one, but there's definitely a few that stand above the rest.

- My fiancee, first and foremost. Had she not come along when she did, I'd probably be nothing more than a newspaper article. She found me when I was at rock bottom, and pulled me out of that pit of despair and self-loathing. She's also the one who encourages me to come out to people, to dress up, to feel pretty.
- My best friend Chrystan. Her almost seamless adjustment to the idea of me being female gives me hope. She's currently the only person that treats me as 100% female all the time. Every girl's gotta have a bestie, and I couldn't ask for a better one.
- My fiancee's mum. Her goading me into doing karaoke in full dress that night did a LOT to boost my confidence, and she understands my dysphoria better than most people, because there was a time when she couldn't look in a mirror without wanting to break it because she hated what was looking back so much it hurt her. She went out and made the changes she needed to make to be happy with herself, and she refuses to let me believe that I can't do the same.
- And of course, all the lovely men and women here. No matter if you're FTM or MTF, your stories inspire me to keep pushing against the weight of a world that fears what it doesn't understand, hoping that one day I'll be able to break through.

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 16, 2015, 05:13:15 PM
I have a lot of heroes. Right now at the top of the list would be Lynn Conway.

I'd never heard of Lynn Conway.

I dug around with Google and Wikipedia and finally found her blog (at U. Michigan.) (http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html)

Wow!  She's amazing.  Either her computer science work alone or her trans-advocacy alone would be enough to put her at the top of the list.  But to do both.

Reading her pages also told me about horrors and battles I'd never heard of.  LaVerne Cox and Janet Mock are justly famous.  But I'm reminded that, like Newton, they stand on the shoulders of giants.

It also made me wonder: how many other "war heros" and martyrs have I never hear of?  Has anyone done a (recent) history of transgender life and advocacy?

But it also makes me think: for every hero who we celebrate today, how many heroic -- and just plain ordinary -- souls have struggled and failed and sunk without a trace in the swamps of bigotry?  (I'm thinking particularly of trans people, but it really applies equally to all the other folk who have been destroyed and erased for the crime of being who and what they were.)

Quote from: Asche on March 17, 2015, 07:06:27 AMAnd just plain ordinary -- souls have struggled and failed and sunk without a trace in the swamps of bigotry?  (I'm thinking particularly of trans people, but it really applies equally to all the other folk who have been destroyed and erased for the crime of being who and what they were.)

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yes I agree 100% that the above mentioned people are heros and I acknowledge they have done marvelous things in there life. But it would have been the easy way out to have folded and given up but he didn't when facing tremendous odds. Some of you know what he went through and my therapist has even said most people would have given up a long time ago...! I'm not trying to pat myself on the back I'm just saying how proud of him I am!

Much Love,

Melissa Ann

  Without a doubt, my wife. She is going through her own challenges, but is always there to support and love me.

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 16, 2015, 05:13:15 PM
I have a lot of heroes. Right now at the top of the list would be Lynn Conway.

I agree with this. It was finding out about Lynn Conway and others like her that convinced me I am not insane.

I am also grateful to my wife, my therapist, the people here at Susan's, but the word 'hero' for some reason makes me look for someone distant, or not a direct acquaintance. About my own current male self, it's too early to say anything.