Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: KevinReproducedFree on March 24, 2015, 11:09:55 PM Return to Full Version
Title: worried about passing at school
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 24, 2015, 11:09:55 PM
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 24, 2015, 11:09:55 PM
I have to start on an education at school soon -or find a job- but I am pre everything -pre T, pre op etc-
I do wear binders and my hair is fairly short and I hope I can get a more masculine haircut soon. I wear boyish clothes most of the time -and mostly hoodies- but I don't exactly have a boyish face imo. Nor do I have that much of a low voice. It's not like I talk much in person, but what if they would still find out?
I have been bullied my entire life, in every single situation.
Does anyone have any tips on getting your voice to sound a bit more masculine? And some tips on how to pass?
Thank you in advance.
I do wear binders and my hair is fairly short and I hope I can get a more masculine haircut soon. I wear boyish clothes most of the time -and mostly hoodies- but I don't exactly have a boyish face imo. Nor do I have that much of a low voice. It's not like I talk much in person, but what if they would still find out?
I have been bullied my entire life, in every single situation.
Does anyone have any tips on getting your voice to sound a bit more masculine? And some tips on how to pass?
Thank you in advance.
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 12:22:14 AM
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 12:22:14 AM
How old are you? I am 16 year old transgirl and I hope you are well. Please, please start HRT as soon as possible. Your number one priority in your life, HRT. At least it is for me. If you are worried of passing at school, by what I see, you won't pass. BUT. Be yourself, don't fake it and make good friends. Ignore the bad ones even if it hurts.
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 25, 2015, 12:29:23 AM
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 25, 2015, 12:29:23 AM
I'm turning 19 this year. And I am holding up pretty well at this moment, thank you c: I hope you are doing fine as well!
And I really want to start HRT but I kind of have some major problems with getting started because my parents aren't supportive and I don't really have anywhere to go if they'd want me to leave. Or at least, not yet. So I probably have to wait for at least another 5 or 6 months.
And I will stay true to myself anytime. Thank you (:
And I really want to start HRT but I kind of have some major problems with getting started because my parents aren't supportive and I don't really have anywhere to go if they'd want me to leave. Or at least, not yet. So I probably have to wait for at least another 5 or 6 months.
And I will stay true to myself anytime. Thank you (:
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 12:35:57 AM
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 12:35:57 AM
In that case, your parents are in no position to deny you your rights'. First of all, you go to an endocrinologist. If your situation is that bad, (as in your parents not supporting you) find your local endocrinologist and make a meeting in secret. Explain the situation. They might be human, you know? Start hormones and don't let your own biology get the hold of you.
Thanks for giving your concern my way as well.
Thanks for giving your concern my way as well.
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: kelly_aus on March 25, 2015, 01:37:02 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on March 25, 2015, 01:37:02 AM
Quote from: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 12:35:57 AM
In that case, your parents are in no position to deny you your rights'. First of all, you go to an endocrinologist. If your situation is that bad, (as in your parents not supporting you) find your local endocrinologist and make a meeting in secret. Explain the situation. They might be human, you know? Start hormones and don't let your own biology get the hold of you.
Thanks for giving your concern my way as well.
Dishonesty is a bad idea at any age - your advice here could cause Kevin some serious issues if he is found out. Of course, decent parents would allow you to seek the help needed, but this isn't always the case, especially with younger trans people.
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: FTMax on March 25, 2015, 12:31:34 PM
Post by: FTMax on March 25, 2015, 12:31:34 PM
Not sure where you're located, but most doctors will not administer hormones to someone under the age of 18 without parental consent. I would not be surprised if some even declined to do it with parental consent, as younger transitioners are kind of a new thing for a lot of doctors.
I would see if you can contact your teachers/professors/any school personnel that you may have daily or regular contact with, and let them know that your name on the roster may be X but you go by Y. Get them using a male or androgynous name with you.
Are you doing anything that requires changing clothes? Gym class, sports, etc. That could be difficult. See if they have gender neutral restrooms or handicap restrooms. You could change in there, and use the restroom there if you don't feel comfortable using the men's. Often times, the nurse's station or health services will have at least one. It's worth asking for.
I think really it comes down to how you present yourself. If you present yourself as male, go by a male sounding name, wear a binder, etc. - most people are not going to think twice about it. If anyone asks you why you maybe look feminine, say you have a hormone disorder and that you don't want to talk about it. If anyone asks why you use the handicap restroom, tell them you have an illness and you don't want to talk about it. People are not entitled to know anymore about you than you're willing to tell.
I would see if you can contact your teachers/professors/any school personnel that you may have daily or regular contact with, and let them know that your name on the roster may be X but you go by Y. Get them using a male or androgynous name with you.
Are you doing anything that requires changing clothes? Gym class, sports, etc. That could be difficult. See if they have gender neutral restrooms or handicap restrooms. You could change in there, and use the restroom there if you don't feel comfortable using the men's. Often times, the nurse's station or health services will have at least one. It's worth asking for.
I think really it comes down to how you present yourself. If you present yourself as male, go by a male sounding name, wear a binder, etc. - most people are not going to think twice about it. If anyone asks you why you maybe look feminine, say you have a hormone disorder and that you don't want to talk about it. If anyone asks why you use the handicap restroom, tell them you have an illness and you don't want to talk about it. People are not entitled to know anymore about you than you're willing to tell.
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 25, 2015, 04:46:22 PM
Post by: KevinReproducedFree on March 25, 2015, 04:46:22 PM
I'm living in the netherlands and luckily they are relatively easy in having you make your own decisions once you are 18 -which thank goodness I am-. And I think I will just go ahead and see the doctor about it next week and at least ask for some more information and stuff.
And I don't go to school yet, I still have to look for one as I have been homeless for about a year and had to settle everything again. Which also gives me some more time to get the transition going as well. I don't know how my parents will react to it. Not very well, I assume. But I just can't take this any longer.
And the advice you're giving is really helpful! So thank you so much for that ftmax.
I should just be more confident and stop being a doormat. I'm also working on voice exercises to try and get it to sound a bit deeper, so maybe passing will be lots easier once I start at school!
And I don't go to school yet, I still have to look for one as I have been homeless for about a year and had to settle everything again. Which also gives me some more time to get the transition going as well. I don't know how my parents will react to it. Not very well, I assume. But I just can't take this any longer.
And the advice you're giving is really helpful! So thank you so much for that ftmax.
I should just be more confident and stop being a doormat. I'm also working on voice exercises to try and get it to sound a bit deeper, so maybe passing will be lots easier once I start at school!
Title: Re: worried about passing at school
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 11:08:02 PM
Post by: Shirley Dover on March 25, 2015, 11:08:02 PM
Quote from: KevinReproducedFree on March 25, 2015, 04:46:22 PMI hope luck will remove all your troubles. Your parents do not deserve you. Keep strong.
I'm living in the netherlands and luckily they are relatively easy in having you make your own decisions once you are 18 -which thank goodness I am-. And I think I will just go ahead and see the doctor about it next week and at least ask for some more information and stuff.
And I don't go to school yet, I still have to look for one as I have been homeless for about a year and had to settle everything again. Which also gives me some more time to get the transition going as well. I don't know how my parents will react to it. Not very well, I assume. But I just can't take this any longer.
And the advice you're giving is really helpful! So thank you so much for that ftmax.
I should just be more confident and stop being a doormat. I'm also working on voice exercises to try and get it to sound a bit deeper, so maybe passing will be lots easier once I start at school!