Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I faxed my doctor her dismissal today, I will not allow her bias to ruin what I've given so many tears of grief, episodes of fear, and struggle to gain.  My transition will never be held hostage in order for someone else to feel safe.

I may be out on a very thin limb, but I have my self respect, my resolve, and personal strength to land on my feet.   Dani

Sorry to hear you need to do that, but I had to let go of a doctor at the begining of my transition due to his bias. Was this because of your concerns related to HRT?
Mariah

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on March 30, 2015, 09:04:54 PM
I faxed my doctor her dismissal today, I will not allow her bias to ruin what I've given so many tears of grief, episodes of fear, and struggle to gain.  My transition will never be held hostage in order for someone else to feel safe.

I may be out on a very thin limb, but I have my self respect, my resolve, and personal strength to land on my feet.   Dani

Doctors aren't god even if some of them think they are sometimes.  Just like any other tradesperson there's good ones and bad ones and there's no point in going to see a doctor that isn't able to work with you just as you are.

Good on you Dani, let's hope the next doctor you see works out better for you.

Quote from: Mariah2014 on March 30, 2015, 09:08:51 PM
Sorry to hear you need to do that, but I had to let go of a doctor at the begining of my transition due to his bias. Was this because of your concerns related to HRT?
Mariah

Yes Mariah, hrt was the sole reason to be under her care, I had invested my entire transition to date (9 months) with her.

Quote from: Lady Smith on March 30, 2015, 09:23:15 PM
Doctors aren't god even if some of them think they are sometimes.  Just like any other tradesperson there's good ones and bad ones and there's no point in going to see a doctor that isn't able to work with you just as you are.

Good on you Dani, let's hope the next doctor you see works out better for you.

Thanks Lady Smith, and yes, I will have much much more understanding going in this time.  :)

you're your  own advocate , your the boss

I kind of figured that was the case. I'm glad you made the decision you needed to. We are our own advocates when it comes to our transition and sometimes that means we get rid of a doctor or two in order to get the care we need from another doctor who is willing to help us. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on March 30, 2015, 09:50:49 PM
Yes Mariah, hrt was the sole reason to be under her care, I had invested my entire transition to date (9 months) with her.

Thanks Lady Smith, and yes, I will have much much more understanding going in this time.  :)

Congrats and good luck.

We are our own keeper!

They work for you so the are for your health and well-being

.

I didn't bother with anything like that.. I just didn't book any further appointments - which did result in a somewhat nasty letter from her. A letter I ignored.

Good luck Dani!

Quote from: kelly_aus on March 30, 2015, 11:53:47 PM
I didn't bother with anything like that.. I just didn't book any further appointments - which did result in a somewhat nasty letter from her. A letter I ignored.

When I gave up on my shrink, doctor and endo (the first time) I just never booked any new appointments. Not one of them contacted me to see if I was, y'know, still alive.

Someone didn't like that I'd stepped clear of their semi-monopoly on treatment..

There was a woman psychiatrist here in New Zealand who set herself up as being an expert on gender identity issues.  What she was good at though was bleeding those who came to see her of every penny they had without any benefit to show for it.  Obviously I can't name names, but I'm sure there isn't anyone among trans-folk here in New Zealand who doesn't know about her.

When my first shrink told me that he would prefer to step away from transgender issues and explore my childhood experiences, relationships with parents etc etc etc which would take at least a couple of years ("Oh, and btw I am not going to prescribe You any hormones"), I just quit seeing him. There was an e-mail from him, to which I did not bother to reply and that was it.

Remember that doctor's are supposed to "first do no harm".  HRT can kill you in the worst case scenario, so most GP's are probably afraid of it and feel they need to protect themselves from malpractice.

My consent form was mostly about protecting the doctor, and I had to agree that "These drugs aren't labelled to be used this way (for HRT).  They weren't studied to see what the side effects might be (in HRT), and one of those side effects could be death.". 

That's so unfortunate Dani... but glad you have called it as it is. Good luck in finding your next...

L Katy

Thanks to all who have responded and will respond, very nice to read.  For just a bit of clarification "without" any revealing info, my transition had just hit that place I had been gradually working towards for almost a year (9 mo.).  We had a verbal agreement that if my values hit a certain amount on my next test, I needed to do or change nothing at all, just make an appointment in three months.  The test did in fact reveal my hopes, expectations, and placed me within the margin of our agreement.  I was on cloud 9 literally walking on air, everything that had been changed, tweeked, and adjusted had worked.  Rather than her holding to her word, I recieved a message (not from "her" but through an receptionist) that she was taking my treatment all the way back not to the beginning, but even way way lower than that!!!

I then recieved a cold, insensitive letter from her (not reflecting where I believed our relationship to be at) restating the above, with no explanation at all.  She would not even respect my wish to be addressed by my requested name.  To top that off she stated these levels would "never" ever rise, and stay at basement level.  Every health parameter ranged from very good to excellent.

So I felt just "not showing up" was not an option so I wrote a three page letter explaining my position, in my opinion it was called for, that is what I did, and that is that.   Dani

Good on you! No one should have to put up with being given the runaround by incompetent or unprofessional MDs. We pay them after all! I wish you luck in finding a more able and more sympathetic replacement.

Strength is beautiful, Dani! Congrats!

Good for you. Good luck with you present path. I think you have it well thought out.

When I first saw the title of this thread I misread it as 'Doctor Dismal'; - maybe I wasn't so far of the truth afterall.

I think it's really good that you got out of that therapy relationship. When I was first transitioning(a million years ago) I had to drive three hours 1-2 times a month from college to my therapist. Though she kept pushing back the timeline which was really frustrating since I was 20 and wanted to start hormones ASAP. I really didn't need any therapy just the approval and it ended up taking a year. I really regret not trying to find someone else sooner since I sort of knew she wasn't a good fit for me. Though it was a lot harder to find resources back then.

Now, I'm going through the process to find a phd person to write a letter for surgery finally and it's definitely bringing up the bad experience of before so I'm hoping to avoid a therapist that isn't the right match this time.

I hope you're able to find someone who's a better match for you!