Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey all,
I have an interesting question I'd like to ask everyone.

I know the whole "If you were offered a magic pill that would make you (male/female/androgynous)" discussion has probably been beaten into the ground. What I'd like to ask all of you is something similair but yet atleast based in possibility. And here it is:

If you were offered by someone to have all of your operations and procedures paid for and all you had to do was be interviewed by the benefactor, would you accept this opportunity? For those of you who have already undergone surgery or whatnot, you would instead be offered complete reimbursement for your operations and procedures. (For those who aren't necessarily interested in SRS, anything that would get you the type of body you want would be included, nullification, partial modification, etc..) or just basic stuff like hair removal.

I'm quite interested in what others might have to say. Would there be stipulations, hesitations, etc and why would you have those. Discuss as you see fit.

Marq and Mia

Yes, I'd go for it. I've heard some transpeople say stuff along the lines of - 'if you didn't work your behind off to make and save the money, pinching and scraping to get by, you don't deserve it'. One transman told this to a guy whose folks offered to pay for his surgery in full.
I don't buy that though. Yes, lots of people have to save for years to have SRS and stuff, but I don't think it's a matter of 'deserving' it because you went through all this stuff to get it, like a new car or some such.

So yes, I'd go for it.
If there were strings attached, it would be a matter of what the benefactor looked like, as there are some people around I wouldn't do for a billion smackers. Hey, I have standards.

I don't know what I implied when I said interview, but i meant a "Hey sit down and talk with me for a little bit so I know who you are". But sure people can get suspicious when something like that occurs, its human nature perhaps.


M&M

This offer is analogous to being offered a million dollars to show up at a time-share presentation. The lure is there but the actual gift is tainted.

Why on earth would someone finance your transition unless they plan on bitchifying you.

There's always a motive, altruistic or no, I'd be suspicious.

This is a strange question to ask. Who is this person? Can I be interviewed?

It's an interesting question since it sketches a situation wherin you'll forever be interlinked with one person. They will become a piece of you that you cannot erase; the lingering partial attached to a desire, wish, and necessity (to add) fulfilled. Each time you are reminded, each time you notice your reflection -- their name mentioned in the same breath[...] And, then there is still the interview; a conversation, a more one-sided dialogue wherein you'll show exactly who you are (as in); serving your heart on a silver plate to someone you hardly or do not know at all. Would you be able to do that? To cut your heart out and throw it at some unknown silhouette's feet in return for[...]?... Described in such a way, and in such context I am reminded of the ancient cliché; to sell your soul to the devil...

Nevertheless, my answer is yes: I would take the opportunity, most likely without a blink of the eye, but with a decent overview of possible consequences. I already have quite a few skelletons in my closet and am certain there's room for at least one more if necessary.

As for to sell my soul to the devil? I would quite possibly.  8)

Quote from: Marq and Mia on August 30, 2007, 03:08:09 AM
If you were offered by someone to have all of your operations and procedures paid for and all you had to do was be interviewed by the benefactor, would you accept this opportunity?

Didn't Dr. Faust buy into one of those schemes?  All he ended up paying was his soul.

I wouldn't. I don't like feeling obligated to anyone. But then money is not such an issue for me in that I have some and I would not need much to transform myself to my prefered state anyway since I'm not transsexual.

If I was desperate, really struggling with dysphoria, on the edge of ending it, then hell yeah I would take it.

Quote from: Candi Nahasapeemapetilon on August 30, 2007, 05:35:55 AMWhy on earth would someone finance your transition unless they plan on bitchifying you.

I'm not sure what you mean by this (either making you look ugly via surgery or if you meant they would interview you in a negative light).  If you meant they would make you look ugly, then pay for it first and get reimbursed (hey, that rhymes :D), which was one of the allowances:

Quote from: Marq and Mia on August 30, 2007, 03:08:09 AM
For those of you who have already undergone surgery or whatnot, you would instead be offered complete reimbursement for your operations and procedures.

Quote from: Candi Nahasapeemapetilon on August 30, 2007, 05:35:55 AMThere's always a motive, altruistic or no, I'd be suspicious.

And you could very well be right.  However, the person who is more clever would still win.

Quote from: Nero on August 30, 2007, 05:18:23 AMI've heard some transpeople say stuff along the lines of - 'if you didn't work your behind off to make and save the money, pinching and scraping to get by, you don't deserve it'. One transman told this to a guy whose folks offered to pay for his surgery in full.

That's just jealousy speaking.

I wouldnt take any offer like that.  I dont trust people that easily.  What is the catch?

Quote from: Melissa on August 30, 2007, 03:55:44 PM

Quote from: Candi Nahasapeemapetilon on August 30, 2007, 05:35:55 AMWhy on earth would someone finance your transition unless they plan on bitchifying you.

I'm not sure what you mean by this (either making you look ugly via surgery or if you meant they would interview you in a negative light).  If you meant they would make you look ugly, then pay for it first and get reimbursed (hey, that rhymes :D), which was one of the allowances:

Missy, you're so innocent, it's adorable! :laugh:

I would go for it! Easy! If everything was paid for yes.. however I would want to know what the other part of the deal is!

Hmmm...like Fer, I am very skeptical when it comes to "favors".  Why?  What do they want from me?  Besides, and according to the results of some quizes I have taken in the fun & games board  ;D, one of my major sins is pride.  I wouldn't do it at all.  I would hate to owe something so profound as my SRS to anyone.  There's absolutely no way I would do it, but again that is just me.  :P

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Nero on August 30, 2007, 04:44:53 PM

Quote from: Melissa on August 30, 2007, 03:55:44 PM

Quote from: Candi Nahasapeemapetilon on August 30, 2007, 05:35:55 AMWhy on earth would someone finance your transition unless they plan on bitchifying you.

I'm not sure what you mean by this (either making you look ugly via surgery or if you meant they would interview you in a negative light).  If you meant they would make you look ugly, then pay for it first and get reimbursed (hey, that rhymes :D), which was one of the allowances:

Missy, you're so innocent, it's adorable! :laugh:

yeah, I thought it was a good word. Certainly applies.

just for the record, in my case, i'd take the cash. i have no problems living the life of Anna, except the early death.

No thanks, I decline.

Ok I think I have enough responses to give you the whole story.

There is absolutely no catch. None.

Here is the situation I envisioned and do with it as you please.

I was sitting in bed a couple days ago and thought about what I would do with a couple hundred million from the powerball jackpot lottery. The first thought was of course to pay off any debt I owe flat out and apart from a couple security precautions would continue living mostly like I currently do.

Then I thought what would I possibly do with that money. Of course saving it would seem like a good idea but thats actually pointless. I'd only need to set aside a couple or 5 million to make so much money on interest that even the interest would be too much to spend. That leaves me with still over 200 million. Then I thought why not help other people and since I'm partial to the TG community for obvious reasons I thought thats as good a place as any to start. As per my scenerio, all I would ask would be to interview the reciepient before hand to understand how much the procedures meant to them and to see if they would appreciate the gift or if they're just in line for a hand out. Money doesn't make people happy necessarily but I bet I can use the money to make people happy and that in turn will bring me happiness.

I can appreciate the financial strain that the procedures would or have caused and why not aleviate the strain to bring a little bit more happiness to the world? See no catch, unless you count wanting to help people because of my good fortune a catch.

Now you might ask "Would you honestly do something like that?" I have no doubt at all given that circumstance that I would absolutely offer that opportunity.to as many people as I could. Now I know how things like this can get out of hand pretty fast and I'm not entirely sure if I could really support the procedures of every TG that was interested but if I had to, saving some of the money to generate enough return on investments, I could offer the opportunity to more as the interest accumulated.

I hold no illusion that TG people would be the only ones I tried to help because yes a lot of people are worse off but you have to start somewhere and its more feasible to start small instead of trying to fix everything at once.

As per some of your responses, I know people are sometimes just too suspicious to take a leap of a faith or they don't want to feel obligated to someone. You can't help those who don't want the help. But anyone that does take the offer would certainly find I'm true to my word. They wouldn't ever have to see me again after the interview if they desired though I would hope they would remember what kindness has done for them and pass it on someday without a reason other then to just do it because you can.

The only thing I'm slightly wary about in this all is that others may attempt to take advantage of me to try to take my money through other means. That being said I'm sure I would have to offer some sort of legal release lest I find lawsuits upon me from people who were not satisfied or some such. I'm sure given the right preperation I can keep the act of assistance or reimbursement as good intentioned as possible.

The only thing I might add is in response to "How could you possibly do this?" I respond that Mia left to her own devices has almost unrestricted compassion for others, this being an act of compassion, and even if I had to allocate half the money for Mia to spend as she wants and half for Marq, that would still be enough to succeed at this cause.

Well thats the whole story, whats everyone say? Sticking with your answers?

Marq and Mia
Who says you can't change the world?
You need only try

Would probably take it.

Lots of things have catches (including earning money). And I don't have a problem with giving some favors to someone paying for everything.

I'm quite talented. :icon_eyebrow:

Posted on: August 31, 2007, 02:53:47 AM

---

Just teasing lol. :laugh:

I would kindly thank the person, say I cant take it and that would be the end of it all.

I would gladly accept. I have no pride in these matters. There are many who are born into wealth and have done nothing to deserve transition more than me. If someone was willing to pay, I would be in line tomorrow.

Love always,
Elizabeth

maybe.  dunno.

So pride/not wanting to owe favours/do dirty things is more important than severe GID?

Even if it would take several years to get the money for getting the treatment otherwise?

Just curious.

Even after my explaination of intent, people are still wondering about having to do dirty jobs and owing favors? I have to say did anyone read my further explaination?

I can understand the people that feel like they should earn it but I hear a number of people talking about how they're upset they don't have the money yet and that they can't wait till they do. I naturally thought something like this offer might have been appealing to most. Sure if you're still suspicious, you'd wait till a couple of folks had been helped in this manner and find out how they feel about it all. Ask them if there were any strings attached or what.

Very interesting responses though.

Marq and Mia

My parents paid for my GRS and sometimes (when we get into heated debates or disagreements) I bite my tongue because I never forget what they did for me & also because they're my parents.  I couldn't put up with anyone's tripe besides theirs though.  My answer is no, I wouldn't take it.

I'd go for it without a second thought.  Life always has its lucky elements both good and bad.  I've had bad luck by being born with GID so why would I turn down some good luck that helps to offset that disadvantage?

I have little time for those who seem to think you have to 'earn' the right to have SRS.  They often seem to have a need to prove that their GID must be so so severe because they went through so much strife to get treatment.  It's not a competition and it proves nothing (most of these people ironically would also say they had no choice in transitioning).

<sarcasm>I reckon cancer patients should have to work 16 hours a day in a crappy job to EARN the right to have chemotherapy... </sarcasm>

Quote from: taru on August 31, 2007, 05:19:23 AM
So pride/not wanting to owe favours/do dirty things is more important than severe GID?

Even if it would take several years to get the money for getting the treatment otherwise?

Just curious.

I've heard more stupid reasons for not transitioning.  Some peeps are very clever at frabricating stories about their inability to be who they think they are. You can see it everywhere.  I can't because, because, because, because, because, because ::)  always a "because". 
What a load of tripe!

You can be my 'devils' any day M&M   8) ;)

I don't think I would accept it.  I like to get to my goals by myself even if that takes one hundred years.  Maybe I also have too much pride in me.  I dunno.  Who knows.  This is a hypothetical situation which would need to be thought over carefully if it were real.  Realizing that it is hypothetical diminishes its meaning & importance.  Maybe IRL my decision would be different.  I really can't say.
~laugh~ Oh Yvonne.  I praise your sarcasm.

Actually I was trying to go for it being considered as a real situation and not one based on ones principles. But I recognize that very real money being offered makes it a different situation entirely. I'll know who wants help though when I do have the money.
:P

M&M

Quote from: Marq and Mia on August 31, 2007, 03:25:12 PM
Actually I was trying to go for it being considered as a real situation and not one based on ones principles. But I recognize that very real money being offered makes it a different situation entirely. I'll know who wants help though when I do have the money.
:P

M&M

Heehee well I said yes even before your elaboration muhahaha  >:D
... So I guess that means my principles suck ;)

Quote from: Marq and Mia on August 31, 2007, 06:32:35 AM
Even after my explaination of intent, people are still wondering about having to do dirty jobs and owing favors? I have to say did anyone read my further explaination?

I can understand the people that feel like they should earn it but I hear a number of people talking about how they're upset they don't have the money yet and that they can't wait till they do. I naturally thought something like this offer might have been appealing to most. Sure if you're still suspicious, you'd wait till a couple of folks had been helped in this manner and find out how they feel about it all. Ask them if there were any strings attached or what.

Very interesting responses though.

Marq and Mia

My apologies. In my experience, no one is that nice to do something so profound for another without an ulterior motive (usually sex).
If there were such a person who would offer life and freedom (and that's what surgery is to a transsexual) to another wanting only friendship in return, they would be a very rare jewel indeed. That or the reincarnation of the Christ himself. :laugh:

Quote from: Yvonne on August 31, 2007, 07:58:11 AM

Quote from: taru on August 31, 2007, 05:19:23 AM
So pride/not wanting to owe favours/do dirty things is more important than severe GID?

Even if it would take several years to get the money for getting the treatment otherwise?

Just curious.

I've heard more stupid reasons for not transitioning.  Some peeps are very clever at frabricating stories about their inability to be who they think they are. You can see it everywhere.  I can't because, because, because, because, because, because ::)  always a "because". 
What a load of tripe!

OMG, You are TS if thats you in your photo I would have never ever thought you were a man once. You look like a super model!

Quote from: chillin on August 31, 2007, 10:12:40 PM

Quote from: Yvonne on August 31, 2007, 07:58:11 AM

Quote from: taru on August 31, 2007, 05:19:23 AM
So pride/not wanting to owe favours/do dirty things is more important than severe GID?

Even if it would take several years to get the money for getting the treatment otherwise?

Just curious.

I've heard more stupid reasons for not transitioning.  Some peeps are very clever at frabricating stories about their inability to be who they think they are. You can see it everywhere.  I can't because, because, because, because, because, because ::)  always a "because". 
What a load of tripe!

OMG, You are TG if thats you in your photo I would have never ever you were a man once. You look like a super model!

She is quite a bombshell. You do model, don't you Yvonne?

If I could get what I wanted? I'd take it in a heartbeat, but with the same promise I make any time a situation like this comes up.

I would pay it forward.

One day, when I was in a better place financially and could do it, I would find someone else who needed help and fund it for them, asking only in return that they pay it forward in some way.

Yes Tay!
Thats exactly how I'd like it to work. Even if someone who was given the gift didn't necessarily pay for someone else later on, just to pass on the kindness in some manner would be the benefit.

Marq and Mia
What starts with one spreads to many and ultimately affects all

QuoteI would pay it forward.

One day, when I was in a better place financially and could do it, I would find someone else who needed help and fund it for them, asking only in return that they pay it forward in some way.

Yes, that's the way I'd do it. In fact, as a musician, I've often helped out younger musicians however I could, as I was helped by others when I was starting out. I've occasionally thought of setting up a trust before I leave the earthly plane, that would award scholarships to transgender musicians. Just one little problem, I don't have any money to leave to that trust  ;)

zythyra

With all due respect, and I'm really not intending to step on anyone's toes by saying this but, just to 'pay something forward' because you received something seems more related to a sense of responsibility and obligation to me. Sure, it sounds nice, but I'm cynical like that.

I'd rather be helped by someone who is helping me because of their nature (good grief! does such mentality even still exist?!) then by someone who wants to return a favour they received from another individual. It's kind of similar to someone winning a jackpot and then doing volunteeringwork because they have enough money and don't need to work. *shrugs* My mind is odd like that.

Even if the catch was to erase my memory like Jason Bourne, I would 100% take it. Hell, it might even be better that way. My goals aren't exactly falling into place in warp speed here.

Quote from: y2gender on September 01, 2007, 07:13:30 AM

QuoteI would pay it forward.

One day, when I was in a better place financially and could do it, I would find someone else who needed help and fund it for them, asking only in return that they pay it forward in some way.

Yes, that's the way I'd do it. In fact, as a musician, I've often helped out younger musicians however I could, as I was helped by others when I was starting out. I've occasionally thought of setting up a trust before I leave the earthly plane, that would award scholarships to transgender musicians. Just one little problem, I don't have any money to leave to that trust  ;)

zythyra

I've been really poor lately--to the point of sometimes wondering if a roof over my head is a possibility. 

When the final Harry Potter book was coming out, I had posted in a "sad things" thread on an adult HP board that I could not possibly afford the final book and that I hoped I could afford it by Christmas, so I probably would be staying away from the board to avoid spoilers, for a few months.

The next day, I had an online gift certificate from someone on that board and ordered my book.  She wouldn't take no for an answer, and didn't want repayment.  The only repayment she'd accept was my promise to pay it forward.

I try to do that with everything that I am given. 

no_id: It's not an obligation or responsibility.  It's my way of paying into all the good karma in the world, I guess is the best way to explain it. Trying to make the world brighter and keep good deeds giving and giving.

Quote from: Tay on September 01, 2007, 11:27:46 PM

Quote from: y2gender on September 01, 2007, 07:13:30 AM

QuoteI would pay it forward.

One day, when I was in a better place financially and could do it, I would find someone else who needed help and fund it for them, asking only in return that they pay it forward in some way.

Yes, that's the way I'd do it. In fact, as a musician, I've often helped out younger musicians however I could, as I was helped by others when I was starting out. I've occasionally thought of setting up a trust before I leave the earthly plane, that would award scholarships to transgender musicians. Just one little problem, I don't have any money to leave to that trust  ;)

zythyra

I've been really poor lately--to the point of sometimes wondering if a roof over my head is a possibility. 

When the final Harry Potter book was coming out, I had posted in a "sad things" thread on an adult HP board that I could not possibly afford the final book and that I hoped I could afford it by Christmas, so I probably would be staying away from the board to avoid spoilers, for a few months.

The next day, I had an online gift certificate from someone on that board and ordered my book.  She wouldn't take no for an answer, and didn't want repayment.  The only repayment she'd accept was my promise to pay it forward.

I try to do that with everything that I am given. 

no_id: It's not an obligation or responsibility.  It's my way of paying into all the good karma in the world, I guess is the best way to explain it. Trying to make the world brighter and keep good deeds giving and giving.

aww that's such a sweet story, Tay

QuoteI try to do that with everything that I am given.

no_id: It's not an obligation or responsibility.  It's my way of paying into all the good karma in the world, I guess is the best way to explain it. Trying to make the world brighter and keep good deeds giving and giving.

That's a great way to live Tay!

Zythyra

Like I said; my mind's odd -- I couldn't care less for the 'pay it forward' concept. I do my own good deeds because it's in my nature; not to make the world a better place or whatsoever; just because I do. *le shrug* Life isn't that complicated.

I don't think we won the lottery last night. Sorry folks you'll have to wait till saturday for your next chance to umm .......
<ducks under the desk>

M&M

Quote from: Lisbeth on August 30, 2007, 12:53:57 PM

Quote from: Marq and Mia on August 30, 2007, 03:08:09 AM
If you were offered by someone to have all of your operations and procedures paid for and all you had to do was be interviewed by the benefactor, would you accept this opportunity?

Didn't Dr. Faust buy into one of those schemes?  All he ended up paying was his soul.

The good doctor may epitomize that role, but he isn't the bottom line or best case scenario.

This scenario is interesting though. If you paid for it though, would it be the best possible surgery, and not a slice and dice thing?

Well sort of. I would leave all the arrangements of the surgeries and procedures in the hands of those getting them done, thus leaving it up to their disgression who they wanted to perform their surgeries. I would only be attached really to the procedure by getting the bill for it. I don't see any clear benefit of telling people which doctor they need to visit because I'm sure there is a decent and differing amount of opinions on which doctors do the best jobs.

Was that able to answer your inquiry?

Marq and Mia
Give the gift of life?