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Title: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: jaytulsa09 on April 16, 2015, 09:55:47 AM
Hi, I just joined and I think I've figured the forum thing out lol. Today is the day I set of on my journey from male to female. I'm a nervous wreck. Hope to meet some nice people here and develop some friendships. Any advice is always welcome. Be safe out there :)


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Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: Ny on April 16, 2015, 11:12:43 AM
I just started myself last week. It's really scary, and I have really supportive friends. I have no idea if I could have found the strength to do this without them. I so admire the people here who took that first step on their own without support from the people in their lives.

It seems to me like these things are a good way to start:

  • Accept yourself in your head. Think to yourself in the third person using feminine pronouns until it's instinctive.
  • Figure out what name you want to go by. Names are powerful. I find that by renaming myself, it gives my decision weight. It might also take time before the new name feels right to you, like it's yours. Starting sooner than later is good.
  • Buy and wear feminine clothing (if you can do so without outing yourself if you're not out yet to others). Sure, it's just superficial, but it's really helping me to dress in appropriate clothing, even if just at home at first.
  • Find a trained therapist in these things and make an appointment.
  • If you can afford it, start looking into facial hair removal sooner rather than later. It's a slow process that people say gets harder after starting HRT.
  • Look into how you can start training your voice to be more feminine. Pitch isn't the key, according to the online resources I've read so far. Inflection and resonance are. Even if you eventually decide on vocal surgery to change your vocal range, that will only change the natural pitch of your voice into a normal female range. It won't make it feminine, not if you haven't worked out feminine inflection and resonance. Basically, men subconsciously inflect and project via volume changes and keep their pitch flat, while women inflect via pitch changes and add force to their voice by resonating it. Or something. I'm bad at this stuff so far.

The first and last of those are the ones I'm finding the hardest... Accepting that it's okay for me to be a woman is very difficult for me, having spent the last ~fifteen years of my life telling myself that it wasn't, that I was male, and that's just how it was going to be.
Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: ChiGirl on April 16, 2015, 11:12:49 AM
Welcome.  I think you'll find some great people and great advice and info.  I know I did.
Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: LordKAT on April 16, 2015, 01:24:23 PM
Welcome to Susan's.

There is a lot of information here and many friends to be made.

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Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: jaytulsa09 on April 16, 2015, 01:27:49 PM
Thank you so much :))


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Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: jaytulsa09 on April 16, 2015, 01:28:04 PM
Oops, :)


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Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on April 16, 2015, 04:06:52 PM
This is the best advise ever. I haven't done too much on the last two yet, but I will be starting laser soon.
I mostly accepted myself before therapy and therapy helped me get over the remaining hurtles. But yeah excellent advice.

Quote from: Ny on April 16, 2015, 11:12:43 AM
I just started myself last week. It's really scary, and I have really supportive friends. I have no idea if I could have found the strength to do this without them. I so admire the people here who took that first step on their own without support from the people in their lives.

It seems to me like these things are a good way to start:

  • Accept yourself in your head. Think to yourself in the third person using feminine pronouns until it's instinctive.
  • Figure out what name you want to go by. Names are powerful. I find that by renaming myself, it gives my decision weight. It might also take time before the new name feels right to you, like it's yours. Starting sooner than later is good.
  • Buy and wear feminine clothing (if you can do so without outing yourself if you're not out yet to others). Sure, it's just superficial, but it's really helping me to dress in appropriate clothing, even if just at home at first.
  • Find a trained therapist in these things and make an appointment.
  • If you can afford it, start looking into facial hair removal sooner rather than later. It's a slow process that people say gets harder after starting HRT.
  • Look into how you can start training your voice to be more feminine. Pitch isn't the key, according to the online resources I've read so far. Inflection and resonance are. Even if you eventually decide on vocal surgery to change your vocal range, that will only change the natural pitch of your voice into a normal female range. It won't make it feminine, not if you haven't worked out feminine inflection and resonance. Basically, men subconsciously inflect and project via volume changes and keep their pitch flat, while women inflect via pitch changes and add force to their voice by resonating it. Or something. I'm bad at this stuff so far.

The first and last of those are the ones I'm finding the hardest... Accepting that it's okay for me to be a woman is very difficult for me, having spent the last ~fifteen years of my life telling myself that it wasn't, that I was male, and that's just how it was going to be.
Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: V M on April 16, 2015, 04:43:14 PM
Hi  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
Title: Re: I'm glad I found this :)
Post by: Rachel on April 16, 2015, 08:08:45 PM
Welcome to Susan's