Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm at Target today and there was a bumper crop of the little ones all around . wow, their stare can be paralyzing. You don't know why they're staring , it could be just benign inquisitiveness or just little kids absorbing knowledge , but damn they make you wonder why they're staring.

children are so intoned with nature, they can see right through you.

That's one of my most challenging areas, what people think still matters far too much to me. When I'm out and confident like when I'm shopping with my wife I act and appear so much more natural it's only when I'm nervous that I attract attention.

I give them a warm smile. I'll let them remember the one trans person they've seen fondly.

That's what I should do , but I tend to stay away from eye contact and turn my head away out of fear they're tug at their mothers arm and start pointing at me

Only kid I've seen stare at me is one her parents told about me, and she came up and asked if I was a boy.

Oh, well except for yesterday.

I went to pick up my kids, and I was in male drag. One of the kids in the playground came up and said, "Are you <my kids name>..." she paused for a moment. "Are you their mommy?"

I said, "no, I'm their parent, but not their mommy."

This same topic came up 2 weeks ago and I'll again point out that kids actually just often look at people, and that's even more true when they're looking at women, especially because women almost always smile at children, not even nessesceraily for any cuteness factor but for the fact its usually socialized pretty deeply.

maybe I should just start smiling and hope for the best

Quote from: 23 Skidoo on April 16, 2015, 09:17:20 PM
This same topic came up 2 weeks ago and I'll again point out that kids actually just often look at people, and that's even more true when they're looking at women, especially because women almost always smile at children, not even nessesceraily for any cuteness factor but for the fact its usually socialized pretty deeply.

That's true. I smile at people a lot when en femme. I just feel so good that I can't stop smiling.

Children look and often stare at everyone, it is part of their inquisitive nature  :icon_chick:  I just acknowledge their presence with a brief smile 

They usually smile back and sometimes wave and/or say "Hi", I just say a polite "Hello" in return and go about my business

As a guy with long hair I got them staring at me all the time. I don't see it being all that different as a girl.

If you give a child an honest warm smile, they will trust you, especially if you follow that smile with some silly faces (especially babies) if i see a baby on a bus I try to do this, unless its an overprotective mommy

Just remember, they are soul stealing little demons and staring is how they get in to steal your soul. So beware!

Kids used to stare at me when I presented male. I even recall one asking me if I was a girl, which was a little embarrassing at the time.

They don't stare now really..I mean, they look and I smile and they smile back. *shrugs*

Quote from: marsh monster on April 16, 2015, 10:27:54 PM
Just remember, they are soul stealing little demons and staring is how they get in to steal your soul. So beware!

+1

hey, kids arent all that bad. i wish i was a kid again sometimes. though they are little demons, weren't we all at some point lol

I've had this happen to me as well. It freaks me out. The stares are usually preceded by a parent saying, "Stop staring".

I've been around kids all my life.  They are just being kids and one of the things they do is innocently check out anything that is different such as hair color, clothes, etc.  Now when it comes to animals, that is a different story because they are so scent oriented. I've seen a friend just starting hormones, but was passable, kind of outed by a dog who disliked males. It was at an all women baby shower and the dog went rabid on her. Her scent had not changed yet.

that would of been messed up

I have a kid and love kids so their stares don't bother me in the least. I pass "in passing" but if you take much of a second look you can read me without a problem  and it is funny how kids sometimes just zero in on me while their parents are either trying not to stare or are completely oblivious, but I never take it as anything more than curiosity. I just smile and say hi. Depending on the parent or the situation, if its a little girl I'll give her a little compliment on her jewelry or shoes or whatever, but sometimes not if the parent seems uncomfortable. In my experience the parents are usually mortified that their kid is staring.

Overall though I guess I try to always be friendly because most kids (and adults for that matter) just don't have a lot of experience with trans people, and even if it's just a minor thing, I'd like they to go away thinking "hey that person was friendly and kind and just a 'regular' person living her life".

I had this experience just the other involving a little bit older kids: I'm pretty much out and have a young son. My wife and I took him to the park the other day. There was this group of 12-13 year boys there (the worst age) being loud and swearing and shoving each other. I went to go push my son on the swing and while I was doing that my wife went over to talk to these kids to tell them to tone it down. She's a teacher and deals with this stuff all the time. She asked them to please stop with the swearing etc and then was just talking to them about whatever dumb stuff they were arguing about (girls, who's a nerd, etc). I didn't hear any of this but she told me after, btw. So then they started asking about me and if I was a man. She said I was transgendered and that basically meant I was a woman. They were like "whoa I've heard of that but I didn't know there were people like that around here!" And my wife just told them that transgender people are just regular people like everybody else and they were all "Oh yeah, we get that. It's cool, we have no problem with that" or whatever. So anyway, I just thought it was interesting and probably was a positive thing for them to have that conversation in terms of trans visibility/acceptance etc. Of course it doesn't mean their not going to turn around and be little jerks or whatever, but in the overall scheme of things hopefully it made them think about it a little.

very nice story

I haven't even started doing anything for transition yet and I get stared at all the time when I pick up or drop off my son at school or even at the store its just a normal thing with them and they really don't know that they are doing it.  it bothered me at first but I soon got over it and now if one of them stares at me hard for a little while I talk to them (I get the feeling that's what they want to do anyway but they don't know what to say or do) keeping the topics light and social and they will move on after a minute or two.

Quote from: Emily E on April 18, 2015, 10:08:26 AM
I haven't even started doing anything for transition yet and I get stared at all the time when I pick up or drop off my son at school or even at the store its just a normal thing with them and they really don't know that they are doing it.  it bothered me at first but I soon got over it and now if one of them stares at me hard for a little while I talk to them (I get the feeling that's what they want to do anyway but they don't know what to say or do) keeping the topics light and social and they will move on after a minute or two.

I just need to get use to the fact that that's what kids do. You just get so paranoid sometimes when your out and every glance freaks you . 

Little kids are just little kids.
They stare at anyone!