Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Ian68 on April 21, 2015, 12:29:09 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Introduction
Post by: Ian68 on April 21, 2015, 12:29:09 PM
Post by: Ian68 on April 21, 2015, 12:29:09 PM
Hello everyone,
I'm completely new to Susan's, though, I've known about the site for many years. I've been a member of various other trans/ LGBTQ websites for the past decade or so; I'm hoping Susan's will be a good environment and outlet for some of the things that I think about but for which I don't have a particularly good outlet.
Anyway, I'm a transgender man and a doctoral student. I *officially* came out to everyone in 2014 but had been living more or less as a boy/ man for fourteen years prior to that (since age 12). Since the age of twelve, I just did what I felt was right but didn't discuss it with anyone until college. I've known that I wasn't a girl (though I don't know that I conceived of what I actually was) since I was four or five years old. I think that I was very confused by gender as a young child; I didn't really understand why I was expected to be a girl. When puberty hit me like a freight train at 8, I figured it out pretty quickly. I also become extremely depressed and anorexic. Eventually, I just decided that since I "had no choice" but to be a woman, that I would be a powerful woman, haha. So, from about 9-11, I lived that way. I came out as a lesbian at 11, and that didn't go well with most of my family at all. At twelve, I had one very excited day of tossing out almost every article of women's clothing that I owned before spending the next decade committing successive crimes against fashion (all the bagginess...). Haha.
When I got to University, I mostly didn't tell people, and I think everyone just assumed that I was a really butch lesbian. Then, I did my Master's, and was cautioned by my advisor to *not* be out because of potential prejudices. I came out at the end of my Master's, and it turned out that literally none of my friends or professors cared at all. So, now I'm in a PhD program, and I'm completely out, and my Department is AMAZING... as in they have re-labelled bathrooms as gender-neutral and offered to advocate for me when I was discriminated against at the health center AMAZING.
All of that said, I've had a difficult time with my family, especially growing up. I'd rather not go into it here but that's a thing. I think because of that, I've been very much on-edge about talking with them but have finally reached the point of the filter decomposing. Recently, I made a TERRIBLE decision to postpone having top surgery until 2016, and this caused me to spiral into a pretty deep depression. After six months of suffering, I finally just said "enough." I've contacted three surgeons, and have consults set up for May. My counselor has stated that she'll write my referral letter (per WPATH Standards). I'm not on T but have had that letter since last April. I'm not really convinced that I need to go on testosterone but it's also not off the table yet. I also have a letter to change my gender marker on everything except for my birth certificate, which can likely never be changed but I don't care. I legally changed my name almost 5 years ago, and I never really think about it except when forcing myself (like now).
If you've stuck around for all of that blathering on, I guess some other bits about me: I love to write, and listen to music, and play Sims 4, haha. I'm honestly a workaholic most of the time. I tend to think about sexism and trans* healthcare a lot.
I'm looking forward to talking with everyone here. :)
-Ian
I'm completely new to Susan's, though, I've known about the site for many years. I've been a member of various other trans/ LGBTQ websites for the past decade or so; I'm hoping Susan's will be a good environment and outlet for some of the things that I think about but for which I don't have a particularly good outlet.
Anyway, I'm a transgender man and a doctoral student. I *officially* came out to everyone in 2014 but had been living more or less as a boy/ man for fourteen years prior to that (since age 12). Since the age of twelve, I just did what I felt was right but didn't discuss it with anyone until college. I've known that I wasn't a girl (though I don't know that I conceived of what I actually was) since I was four or five years old. I think that I was very confused by gender as a young child; I didn't really understand why I was expected to be a girl. When puberty hit me like a freight train at 8, I figured it out pretty quickly. I also become extremely depressed and anorexic. Eventually, I just decided that since I "had no choice" but to be a woman, that I would be a powerful woman, haha. So, from about 9-11, I lived that way. I came out as a lesbian at 11, and that didn't go well with most of my family at all. At twelve, I had one very excited day of tossing out almost every article of women's clothing that I owned before spending the next decade committing successive crimes against fashion (all the bagginess...). Haha.
When I got to University, I mostly didn't tell people, and I think everyone just assumed that I was a really butch lesbian. Then, I did my Master's, and was cautioned by my advisor to *not* be out because of potential prejudices. I came out at the end of my Master's, and it turned out that literally none of my friends or professors cared at all. So, now I'm in a PhD program, and I'm completely out, and my Department is AMAZING... as in they have re-labelled bathrooms as gender-neutral and offered to advocate for me when I was discriminated against at the health center AMAZING.
All of that said, I've had a difficult time with my family, especially growing up. I'd rather not go into it here but that's a thing. I think because of that, I've been very much on-edge about talking with them but have finally reached the point of the filter decomposing. Recently, I made a TERRIBLE decision to postpone having top surgery until 2016, and this caused me to spiral into a pretty deep depression. After six months of suffering, I finally just said "enough." I've contacted three surgeons, and have consults set up for May. My counselor has stated that she'll write my referral letter (per WPATH Standards). I'm not on T but have had that letter since last April. I'm not really convinced that I need to go on testosterone but it's also not off the table yet. I also have a letter to change my gender marker on everything except for my birth certificate, which can likely never be changed but I don't care. I legally changed my name almost 5 years ago, and I never really think about it except when forcing myself (like now).
If you've stuck around for all of that blathering on, I guess some other bits about me: I love to write, and listen to music, and play Sims 4, haha. I'm honestly a workaholic most of the time. I tend to think about sexism and trans* healthcare a lot.
I'm looking forward to talking with everyone here. :)
-Ian
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Jill F on April 21, 2015, 12:33:12 PM
Post by: Jill F on April 21, 2015, 12:33:12 PM
Hi Ian,
Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us.
Here's some quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Hugs,
~Jill
Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us.
Here's some quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo , avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs,
~Jill
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: LordKAT on April 21, 2015, 01:30:14 PM
Post by: LordKAT on April 21, 2015, 01:30:14 PM
Hi Ian.
Welcome to Susan's. I'm glad you decided to finally join up.
Welcome to Susan's. I'm glad you decided to finally join up.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: V M on April 21, 2015, 06:48:44 PM
Post by: V M on April 21, 2015, 06:48:44 PM
Hi Ian :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Rachel on April 21, 2015, 06:57:50 PM
Post by: Rachel on April 21, 2015, 06:57:50 PM
Ian,
Welcome to Susan's Place. You are among friends here.
Welcome to Susan's Place. You are among friends here.