Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: sparrow on April 27, 2015, 08:20:00 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Sidling out of the closet?
Post by: sparrow on April 27, 2015, 08:20:00 PM
I'm closeted to all but a few people.  I've had mixed experiences so far coming out to the few people I have.  But I'm fairly eccentric, and everybody who knows me even a little expects the unexpected.  I've come to terms with the fact that either I'll live a double life, or I'll never be even remotely stealth.  I've always been weird about being the center of attention, and I don't want coming out to be a big event, especially at work.  I'm a researcher; I never deal with customers, so I don't have to follow a dress code.

So I'm kinda thinking to sneak out of the closet, gradual-like.  Not long ago, a pair of pink sunglasses showed up, and neither I nor my wife know where they came from.  My wife hates pink, so I claimed them and wear 'em day to day.  Pink Shirt Day helps me pass that one off... or I'm deluding myself... whatever.  I let my hair down at work the other day, showing off my cute new haircut.

My shoes are getting worn out, and I need a new pair of shoes.  I'm considering buying some women's flip-flops, and just acting like nothing's weird about that.  Maybe capri pants next?  When I start HRT, maybe I'd start painting my nails (or stop removing the polish before work, anyway), and only the most unobservant would be surprised to see me in a skirt.

Thoughts?  Has anybody taken this approach to coming out?  Among other things, I think it's fun to get away with things done out in the open.  And I've always been a bit of a prankster... it amuses me to think of approaching my transition as I would a practical joke.
Title: Sidling out of the closet?
Post by: femmebutt on April 27, 2015, 09:37:29 PM
So glad you posted this! I've been wearing nail polish to work for the last couple months. Last month, minimal makeup (faint eyeliner, foundation, natural color lip gloss).  This month, I'm researching discrimination laws in my state cuz I know I'm playing with fire. (But I DO deal with the public,, in fact I go into their homes, businesses, military bases and govt installations of all types!) Ok, so this job is not my true "career path". But I'm very likely to do the legit thing and have my talk with HR...
I'm sure you've considered just doing it the boring way???

I know, not my style either!
Title: Re: Sidling out of the closet?
Post by: sparrow on April 27, 2015, 10:40:51 PM
Well, of course I've considered doing it the boring way... but according to the current plan, the boring way is a year or two off.  If I do it this way, I've already started! :D

Also, this might just be idle fantasy.  I'm playing with zany ideas in my head... it's how I solve hard problems.  Zany ideas that are fun are fun to share.  Zany ideas that are just dumb stay in my head, and nobody needs to hear about 'em.

On the conventional front... we've got a new person high up in HR, and she's super friendly.  I'm going to try to find a work Bruce Jenner into a conversation around her, to see how she reacts to trans* issues.  I'm happy for that interview, if nothing else because it's conversation fodder that will expose how people feel about it at my company.
Title: Re: Sidling out of the closet?
Post by: Valwen on April 27, 2015, 11:18:14 PM
I am still living/presenting male for at least the next few months, I too am.....interesting i think is the nice way of saying a bit weird, I haven't had my hair cut sense 1999 so its longer than any woman at my work usually in a braid which i do each day before work which shocks most people for some reason, my shoelaces are pink, I have started talking far more openly about feminist theory and LGBTQ+ matters lately, and well my profile pic is what my nails look like right now. When people ask me why I paint my nails I look at them like they just asked a incredibly dumb question one who's answer is clear to even small children and say something like "its sparkly" in a tone you would use to say "its raining" when someone asks why your putting on a coat. Most people are so taken aback by the response that they forget how to ask questions for a while and probably make a mental note to never be alone with the crazy person again. :-)

on the future note I have been on HRT for 2 months and have few plans to actually do anything much to hide my developments, aside from perhaps a sports bra to keep things from bouncing too much. Then again I have been steadily coming out to people lately I have made it a personal objective to tell at least one person I deal with regularly each week that I am transgender so its not exactly the same thing.

--Serena