Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm sure there are other posts like this somewhere on here, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this, but ever since I've begun to accept my Q/MTF identity... I'm beginning to see people who I merely assume are Trans* folk, but I'm pretty sure they are... Like popping out at me... It's both reassuring and surprising...

Like Men in Black when Agent J starts to realize that aliens are and have always been around him... (disassociating and forgiving the simile comparing us all to aliens... But... The thought is the same...)

Anybody else experience a heightened awareness or Transdar?

My radar is broken. :P

for me it was more of not thinking too hard into it, so I hadn't noticed others around me being trans or not haha. now I can spot it usually from a 2 second glance ;)

When I first came out my ex put alot of effort into trans spotting, there was barely a day when she didn't label someone on TV as trans. This was a thinly veiled way of her saying "you can always spot a transwoman, you'll never pass", it took a large falling out & 20/20 hindsight for me to see that claiming to have a transdar can be a very harmfull thing, her "transdar" was certainly a factor in my depression & self doubts about my decision to transition.

Time & time again i've met trans people in person & been gobsmacked when they've pulled me aside to privately out themselves in a show of support.
Time & time again i've seen trans people on TV and had to scrape my jaw from the floor whilst muttering "they're trans? no way"

If we claim that we can spot a transperson a mile away then not only are we causing self doubts for our fellow transitioners but we are going to be reinforcing gender stereotypes

It happens - but it's a bit like driving a particular make and model of car, you don't realise how many others are out there until you start passing them in the streets.

So you're saying trans people don't actually ever pass because you can spot them?

I wonder what the telling signs of a transgender person are. Is it their voice, their body shape, their mannerisms, the way they dress? When the times comes for you to try to pass or if you decide to transition these are all the things you're going to become self conscious and hyper aware of thanks to the people out there who will automatically assume they know you're trans. Isn't that going to be fun.

Quote from: Jayne on April 30, 2015, 06:42:25 AM
If we claim that we can spot a transperson a mile away then not only are we causing self doubts for our fellow transitioners but we are going to be reinforcing gender stereotypes

This.

I'm willing to bet that most of the people who you're "pretty sure" are trans aren't.

Anytime we try to point who is and isn't trans by just looking at them we are going down a slippery slope because were trying to apply the stereotypes that can be suffocating to some transitioners, which has affected all of us at some point in our transitions, as we have seen many times around here. For the sake of comparison only awhile back I showed my therapist a picture of my sister and me side by side and she would have guess my sister was the one who was transitioning by looking at her and not me.

Lastly, lets please keep this civil. I think we can have a constructive discussion on this. Thanks
Mariah

No offense meant.... I know that the tells I see occasionally will be the tells that bother me in my own plausible transition one day... I saw it as reassurance, nothing more.

Sorry for the insinuation. No offense meant

Yesterday, in one place, I saw a woman who is at least 6" taller than me, and I'm not short. I saw another with wider shoulders and much less butt. I was absolutely convinced that both were cis. Women come in all shapes and sizes. I don't worry about passing or "transdar" anymore for two reasons. My cousin posted a picture of his mother, my mother's sister, when she was young and she had many of the same "masculine" features I was worried about in myself. And last week, freshly shaved with no makeup I was properly gendered in a restaurant. The only women's clothing I had on was a sports bra, everything else was gender neutral. I truly believe that, if I'm not timid and smile appropriately instead of my old stoic face, people will mostly see me as I wish to be seen. I'll never be Suzanne Summers, Carmen Carrera, or even RuPaul, but I will be seen as a woman and that will be good enough. As to the haters with their faulty "transdar", they're wrong more than they're right and probably don't care. I'm sure they get off just as much on hurting their target, cis or trans.

If you are aware and looking for you can try and guess if someone is trans* on their bone structure, but it is a GUESS. Some cis woman have smaller hips and have wider shoulders from working out and some cis men are more box shaped (wider hips). And most people don't focus on those things.

Tbh, I guessed a few people were transmen by the simple fact they sounded and look much younger then I would expect a college student to be but that would all change once their second puberty was finished. If I just passed them on the street I would never know.

I think the danger with thinking you can tell whether or not a person is trans just by appearance can be likened to assuming someone is pregnant just by looking. I (thankfully, as ftm) gain weight where men do--on my belly, not thighs and butt as many women do. I had a neighbor a couple years back ask me when I was due. I was not pregnant. I could feel my face go red and was mortified. I have another neighbor who looked pregnant but wasn't, and a friend in highschool whose mother flipped out and became abusive (okay, more abusive) towards her because she started looking very pregnant, and her mom kept accusing her of being a liar when she truthfully argued that she was still a virgin. A while later she landed in the ER, where they discovered a massive tumor in her uterous. Assuming you know anything about a person based on appearances is very dangerous.

Thank you all for your feedback, and I am quite humbled by your responses. The world is so much bigger than we imagine it to be

Actually when I heard about that girl Rachel Bryk the other day, it didn't say anything about her being trans or how she died. It just said she was dead. I couldn't tell from the picture that she was trans, but for some reason I was like that girl is trans isn't she? Then I did some checking and sure enough I was right. I can't explain it because as far as I was concerned she passed. So who knows, maybe transdar is a thing.

I have a gaydar, I can 'smell' gay men - I assume it's pheromones of some sort.. It's something my mother and her mother could also do. Transdar? Nope, can't say I've got it.

But then, I'm also dreadful at spotting lesbians, which is a bit of a bummer for me.. :P

I apologize if my comment came across as being too harsh. It was meant to be more sarcastic than anything and was really geared towards anyone who thinks they have some sort of "transdar".

Most trans people go through a lot mentally, physically, and socially, especially to transition, so for anyone to imply that's there's some innate quality which will always prevent a trans person from blending in as their true gender can be pretty painful.

Well, I used to think I could spot another transperson a mile away, but I've met enough that I wouldn't have guessed in a million years were trans, so now I know better.   You only notice the ones you notice.

That being said, it seems the only people who clock me these days are also trans, and sometimes they don't even seem to have a clue about me. 

I don't think I have anything like that, no.