Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It's kinda cute. A lot of cis women do this to show support.

"Girl, you're lookin' good."
"I feel you, girl."
"Later, girl!"

I know what they're doing, but it's still sweet and validating.

Support is always a good thing, I especially like it when CIS gendered women show support. It means a lot to me, especially if they comment on my outfit.

There is a cis lesbian that I work with who has been amazing. She recently sent me an email asking if I would like her to talk to my bosses about their difficulties using the correct pronouns with me. To force them to be the leading example to get my other coworkers to pick up the thread. Really, only the men need reminding, all of the women I work with directly have been wonderful. I already feel so included.

I'm one that if they go out of their way to try to validate my gender, then I'd just as soon they shut up. I just want to be treated as they would treat any other woman.

Yeah, for the first time, I've finally met a pair of women who don't automatically write me off as some sort of nut. Having female support definitely makes your efforts feel worth while..

I've always wanted to say "dude", "mate" and "man" to my FTM buddies in Nottingham, but I do that to most guys anyway.

Oh god I have a friend like that, but his stepdaughter has an uncle who is MTF, so I suppose he is genuine. I don't turn down his niceness but sometimes it seems like he's forcing himself.

The way I see it, forcing one's self to accept trans peoples is better than automatically assuming there's something wrong with us. It shows a willingness to change whatever ideas they may have. I'd rather people forced them says to say "way to go", then say something negative.

I don't find this over-compensatory at all.  If people are trying to validate you, and make you feel welcomed, why demean that effort?  As a transgender man, I *know* that I use gendered terms more toward transgender women than toward cisgender women, both as a form of validation, and as a way of making it clear to anyone else present how I expect them to treat the woman I'm interacting with - it's half validation, half boundary-setting.  I've also been on the receiving end of this from other transgender people; the only time I find it irritating is when other transgender men use "bro-ey" terms like "buddy" or "dude" because I find it juvenile.  "Mate," is probably my favorite gendered term, "man" is almost as good.  These are just my preferences, though.

When I first started transitioning, my electrologist referred to every trans woman with the proper pronouns, no matter how you were presenting, or what stage of transition you were in. Her attitude was so uplifting for me during that time, and I was grateful to have that validation from her. 

I'm pretty sure everyone that has ever ma'am'ed me was just being polite, but I still appreciate it.

I was talking with a cis guy once (he knew I was trans btw) on a helpline. He said "hey, so is it okay if I call you 'dude'?" and it actually made my day when he did. It's really validating, regardless of why someone's saying it or even if they're saying it as an entirely gender-neutral term.

I love being called 'bro' and 'man' and 'dude'. It's pretty much my favorite thing.

By the way, I'm not complaining. I think it's awesome, because the person really does care. I just know what's going on.  :)

I try to remember that the overcompensating usually comes from a place of kindness and trying to make someone feel good, but I always found it kind of awkward when people went out of their way to refer to me as male. Like would they call Joe Blow down the street man or dude twenty times in 5 minutes?