Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm writing this post both as my introduction to the forum and as a warning of my experience to naive girls out there. Don't repeat my mistakes.

So, my name is Michelle, and I'm an MTF. I still have a penis but have undergone orchiectomy,  so unless I take hormones exogenously (drug form), my body makes very little sex hormones. It sucks.

This may sound cliche, but when I was barely old enough to talk, I told my parents I wanted to be a "mommy", and went as a witch for Halloween when I was also very young, and encountered far more harmful issues during adolescent and early adulthood. My marriage (which was designed by me to finally "fix" me, was a trainwreck. My wife, of course, didn't understand, nor was she terribly excited about, my habit of satisfying my true desires occasionally by cross-dressing and such (worse). We had two beautiful daughters together and have been divorced 8 years. I have a great relationship with my two wonderful girls.

But, always thinking I was doing the moral thing, I would sink into tremendous guilt when I had my "failings." I have hurt, and hurt, and hurt. Misery. That's a nice way of putting it.

So, as I found myself deep in highly estrogenic tears over such things this evening, (LOL), I am grateful to be part of this forum. Thanks girls!

To the young and/or naive T-girl:

If you feel unsettled about your sexuality- sometimes fantasize about being the other gender, etc., I truly believe that is the time to Get counseling.  Even we veteran girls need counseling sometimes, but u need it at that piece moment when u realize you're on the fence.

Don't be embarrassed, shy, and continue on as things are just because you're terrified of what might happen if u do xy and z.

Be really careful with your children and family. I emphasize children. If you're not careful about a slow transition, you might really hurt your children psychologically. I did my best, and things still slipped out a few times. My deepest regret.

But, without further ado, I come to you now deep in transition, and I'm pleased to meet all of you.
the

Welcome to Susan's Michelle

Thanks so much for your intro....


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I'll get back shortly...

L Katy  :-*

Hi Michelle, I would fully agree with your comments around children, I have been married for many, many many years, always putting off coming out and transitioning fully, but now I will. I now have 3 adult kids and grandkids, but then I was green until my 40's!

I often thought about Orchietomy over the last god knows how many years, but opted for HRT finally 12 years ago... And absolutely so afraid of screwing the family.

For what you have said and my own procrastinations over the years, i would agree, don't wait till you have a family... It just gets so hard and emotionally draining.

L Katy  :-*

Hi Michelle  :icon_wave: 

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Michelle, welcome to Susan's. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Your comments seem spot on. Thanks for sharing.

I feel in a similar place but so far my wife has been trying to find ways to get me to be happier; of course, I have not yet come out to her. Looks like it will be soon.

I wish I had had some of that advice years ago. However, I am torn with the conclusion of that idea. I have come to find more love than I anticipated when I first married. I would also not have my three great daughters. Tough call.

I have been wondering about orchiectomy. What about having to take hormones sucks?

Oh, and welcome. I hope you have found as much kindness here as I have in the very recent past.

Take Care,

Joanna