Susan's Place Transgender Resources

City, state, province, country, even neighborhood?

I used to love/hate the NYC area but lately I've begun hating it even more.

The high cost of living, congestion and I feel the overall quality of life is less. I really hate the stress. I also hate cold weather and winter.

I probably want to move but my wife apparently doesn't want to. Even if we split (at a yet undetermined date) I don't want to be too far from my kids, or even if I gain custody I can't take them far from her.

But at times living here makes me so depressed. I feel like I'm stuck in a rat race. I would rather live near my mom in Florida, or in Austin or Dallas TX, or even the Carolinas (North Carolina most likely). But as a trans woman it is so easy to get proper care in this area (NYC) and I don't want to put my health and well being in jeopardy. New Jersey also has strong protections for transgender but New York State does not (only GLB). New York City does.

Anyway do you like where you live and if not, where would you want to live?

I live in a very small town(420) on the coast of North Carolina. Its ok for the most part, I've lived her for 20 years now and transitioned here. One big drawback is that everyone knows everyone for the most part, so any sort of stealth is impossible. I have great neighbors though. There is pretty much nothing for trans in my area, the local pflag sucks and so you're pretty much on your own. To see a therapist with experience back when I first started this, I had to drive three hours one way and the endo I had in the same city as the therapist sucked, so due to finances, I've pretty much been on my own where my transition is concerned since 2006. 

I'm not big on moving, as you don't know what crap you will end up in.  I think being well thought of  before transition helped me a bit here. Even the ones that don't get it don't give me much crap as people are big on appearances here and poor behavior towards someone nice is frowned upon. Lots of gossip too, another reason stealth is unattainable besides my being obviously trans in appearance.

Feeling for you. I am also very torn about where I live, and the list of pros/cons seems endless at times.

I live in northern Virginia, 5 miles outside of DC. I work in the city and drive in everyday. I do have a strong preference for the suburbs here to the actual city, and having lived on the Maryland side, I can say that Virginia is a much better fit for me personality-wise and politically.

But the cost of living is insane. We consistently make those top 10 lists for most expensive places to live in America. Most people think nothing of putting an entire paycheck (or more) towards rent. For the price of one house in a good neighborhood here, I could buy an entire block of houses in the Midwest. Traffic during rush hour is terrible. Public transit is not as good as other major metro areas. The majority of people I randomly encounter are only interested in what you do and who you work for - if it isn't interesting or well known, you are by default seen as not interesting.

But the perks are seemingly endless. Anything I could possibly want is within a five mile radius of my house. I can walk to the grocery store. There is a park at the end of my block. Many things are open 24 hours a day. There are great state parks and places to visit. Most of the museums in the city worth going to are free. DC has several trans protections on the books, and it is exceedingly easy to get proper healthcare there. There are so many government agencies and contractors here, if you're well qualified you shouldn't have a problem finding work.

For many years I've wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest. It seems to take all of my favorite perks of here while removing many of my biggest issues with the area. But a cross country move is expensive, and it's difficult to secure a job so far away unless you have a connection. I know there are several resources for healthcare there, though I would be nervous about leaving my current doctor.

It's a toss up. My approach has been applying for jobs at national companies, with hopes that I could start in their DC offices and potentially move elsewhere in a few years.

I hate Buffalo, NY... The winter is too cold, and there is too much snow, and it's a boring city.

Kennewick is alright. It's not perfect, but on the most part no snow and the people pretty much mind their own business so it makes transitioning much easier than other places. Hugs
Mariah

I live in a small rural town in New Zealand in the middle of dairy farming country and I love living here.  In many ways i suppose my situation is easier because I'm 61 now and I transitioned at 38 so all the pain and fury of marriage breakups and family hostility is long ago in the past.  My two adult children love me and I have a great relationship with them so there isn't much else that's important to me really.  The medical centre in the township is great, my doctor is very sensible and helpful and everything I need is within easy walking or bicycling distance.

When I came to live here ten years ago there was much speculation about me because I dressed modestly and wore a head scarf (I hadn't become a Franciscan at this stage, but still dressed the way I did for personal religious reasons).  Some folk mistakenly thought I was a cancer survivor and when I first set foot in St Mary's the local parish church a lot of the congregation thought I was an Eastern Rite Catholic and wanted to know where I was from.  I was told later that there was much speculation as to the colour and length of my hair under my tichel style headscarf.

Of course there were one or two times while out and about that somebody passed a nasty remark about my gender status, but fortunately that didn't happen very often.  I was looking after my elderly Mum at this stage of things as Mum had come to live with me.  Mum was still mobile with my assistance back then and her dementia was only in the early stages so we were seen around town together a lot.  Small towns being what they are I think the local folk saw how I cared for my Mum and made up their minds that I was a good person.

As to whether or not the majority of the local population know I'm TG or not I don't really know.  I think a few people might know and basically they don't care.  Today I was at the medical centre to get my 'Flu jab and I had a chance to chat to one of the clinic nurses I know whom I hadn't seen for a while.  She's a great lady, husband's a farmer, she loves farm work and she used to play women's rugby too.  Because the news has been full of TG topics our conversation drifted that way and in passing she commented to me that nobody would know I was TG anyway.  Even after being myself for so long it was nice to hear that.

I did not like living in the city which I had to do while I was still working as a social worker for the mental health service and as soon as I had to take early retirement due to health issues I had the itch to leave.  Living in a small town is good in my opinion.  If people think you're a decent sort of person they accept you on that basis.  When my demi-girl daughter came to live with me I fearlessly introduced her to folk I knew and the local shop keepers as my daughter and she is accepted as exactly that even though we do look an odd couple when we're out and about together with me in my old fashioned modest style of clothing and my daughter dressed in her usual semi-androgynous modern girl style.

As of now, no. I grew up in a small town of 1300 people on a 1oo acre farm 7 miles from town. I miss the seclusion and the peace and quiet. And all of the the animals, loved waking up with deer in my front yard. Now, I'm in a larger city wanting to return home, hopefully soon :)

yes, but New Mexico would be better

I live in a city of ~60,000 people but you wouldn't believe this place is that big (1 469,21 km² big area so all the people are kinda spread around). Originally this was a town of about 30,000 people but the neighboring towns and this one were merged into one big lump.

I... have mixed feelings about this place. I was born and raised here, I have lived here my whole life and I strongly identify as a resident of this area (Southern Ostrobotnia). But considering this is pretty much the biggest city in the area, there's absolutely nothing for LGBTetc people here. I don't even know any trans people from the area. I seriously sometimes have a feeling I'm the only one. It kinda sucks.

Then again, I suppose it kinda helps me to go stealth? At least the amount of people does, in general. In certain circles, things tend to get around but they usually stay in those circles.

Also, I hate the local public transportation. It's terrible.

I like living in Paris for many reason, the first one is the monuments (you know the Eiffel Tower, and stuff like that) there is always a new place to discover ! The second reason is that you can find almost everything because it's a big town (everything exept binder of course !). And the last reason but not the least is the anonymity, some people don't like that, but I think it's cool sometimes. My only regrets is there are no beaches in Paris  :'(

I really do not like Oklahoma. The overall climate is just too warm. The winters always end up majorly disappointing me, because the cold only happens in waves, and when we're outside of a cold front it can warm up into the 70s in the middle of winter! Spring and Summer are just miserable. Spring isn't a balance between cold and hot like it's supposed to be (one might figure, when the temperatures are actually typically nice during the winter), instead it's just excessively warm and humid all of the time, and then there's the tornadic storms. OMG... I can't stand it!

I live in Stockholm, i used to love it and couldn't imagine living anywhere else but I really don't like it anymore.

It's overcrowded , to few apartments for all these people, rents are super high and the winters are too long and the sun literally doesn't show itself for.months and it makes me depressed. Luckily I'm moving soon.

heck no. i'm the only trans in my entire town. its kinda lonely here

Los Angeles, CA?  Well, I'll just say that I can't imagine living anywhere else.   California is likely the best state in the US as far as trans rights go, so moving out of CA isn't ever going to happen for me.  I moved to the East Coast once upon a time only to move right back to CA two months later.

Los Angeles gets too hot during summer, the traffic blows goats and we do have more than our share of self-absorbed douchenozzles, but the concerts, fine dining and fun to be had is the best I've seen anywhere.

South L.A., rough peeps, people do take advantage of you if you appear weak or are weak in asserting yourself. I lived in the downtown L.A. for 19 years and the parking is atrocious, the people are rough, but more accepting of trans people. South L.A., not so much. Depends on what part of L.A.you live in. Southcentral L.A., and South L.A./Compton, rough hood. Once I finish my graduate degree, get another higher paying position, fix my current property, sell it and move to a better neighborhood.

The acronym, Location, Location, Location, is so true, in how your treated, I'd add, research research research, location, location, location.

Wow, two people from NC!

I'm about 30 minutes outside Raleigh, NC, and I HATE it here. I used to like it much better before Wake county's population skyrocketed, but I was a very different person then.

I've never lived anywhere else though so I could just be a pessimist now. I've been eyeing places known to be more liberal and trying to figure out how to get myself there. We shall see.

Pine trees + >90 degree heat and humidity + conservative populace = bleh

Quote from: Jill F on May 09, 2015, 04:01:55 PM
Los Angeles, CA?  Well, I'll just say that I can't imagine living anywhere else.   California is likely the best state in the US as far as trans rights go, so moving out of CA isn't ever going to happen for me.  I moved to the East Coast once upon a time only to move right back to CA two months later.

Los Angeles gets too hot during summer, the traffic blows goats and we do have more than our share of self-absorbed douchenozzles, but the concerts, fine dining and fun to be had is the best I've seen anywhere.

I like the climate of California and I could get used to beach life in San Diego which is where I usually go visit.

However I cannot imagine dealing with that cost of living. It's bad enough in Jersey, and I heard that California is even worse. The price of gas especially is going to kill me. I like to drive.

I live in the Niagara Peninsula in Ontario, Canada.  I love it here because it is beautiful - I get to experience all four seasons (I love snow) and it is only an hour away from Toronto.

Quote from: iKate on May 09, 2015, 09:06:56 PM
I like the climate of California and I could get used to beach life in San Diego which is where I usually go visit.

However I cannot imagine dealing with that cost of living. It's bad enough in Jersey, and I heard that California is even worse. The price of gas especially is going to kill me. I like to drive.

I'd have to say nj is worse xD hahaha

Quote from: Echo Alcestis on May 09, 2015, 09:14:52 PM
I'd have to say nj is worse xD hahaha

Well, gas is cheap here and the only really high cost areas are closer to NYC

its expensive where I live and I'm literally 15-30 minutes away from NYC .-. gotta love NJT sometimes lol

Yes i do! Cuz the netherlands funds all the SRS and HRT and also the name change (and also the drugs here.....)

Hi Saharo, welcome to Susans. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

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Thanks a lot !!!! Hugssssss

I dislike where I live, It's a small city in the middle of Arkansas so there's not much tolerance for "difference".  :-\

Quote from: Mariah2014 on May 07, 2015, 09:11:22 AM
Kennewick is alright. It's not perfect, but on the most part no snow and the people pretty much mind their own business so it makes transitioning much easier than other places. Hugs
Mariah

I know Kennewick  :)   I lived in Spokane recently.
Now in Lubbock Texas and I do like it here. As conservative as the area is, this town has a good LGBT community.

I can't really imagine a much better place to transition than here in Seattle.

We just had a big trans meeting with lawmakers in Olympia this week, and we really seem to have their attention.  Washington is already one of the easiest states to transition, but it looks like it's just going to keep getting better.  The insurance commissioner's office is really on our side, which makes it much easier to work with the insurance companies.  It's already considered discriminatory to deny coverage for SRS, and we may even start getting covered for things that used to be considered cosmetic -- laser, electro, BA, etc.  :)

I live in Upstate, South Carolina, and I HATE it here.  The LBGT resources here are scarce.  Ideally, I would rather live outside of the U.S., but if I'm sticking to the states, then my first picks would be California, New York, Washington, D.C., or Atlanta.  However, with my qualifications and life experiences, I wouldn't be able to survive there for long without any assistance.  Heck, if/when my mother kicks me out, I might not be able to survive here.  If I had to pick a "more obtainable" place for what I need, I'd probably pick Ashville, NC as Ashville seems more trans-friendly and from the looks of it, the public transportation is slightly better there than here.

Well I have to vote for Adelaide, South Australia. Beautiful city, great entertainment, fantastic restaurants, friendly very accepting people. And of course, home to bizarre and unexplained murders ::)

Quote from: katiej on May 10, 2015, 01:28:30 AM
I can't really imagine a much better place to transition than here in Seattle.

We just had a big trans meeting with lawmakers in Olympia this week, and we really seem to have their attention.  Washington is already one of the easiest states to transition, but it looks like it's just going to keep getting better.  The insurance commissioner's office is really on our side, which makes it much easier to work with the insurance companies.  It's already considered discriminatory to deny coverage for SRS, and we may even start getting covered for things that used to be considered cosmetic -- laser, electro, BA, etc.  :)

What's cost of living like? That's pretty interesting. There's employment up there for me too.

I suppose so as it's mine and I don't have to share or explain myself.
It's quite new and in a good location, within 5k of the CBD close to large parks and the beach.
Sydney? I don't love it, never have but it's not the worst. Could be like Adelaide.
Can't stand how expensive it is as the banks suck our future dry to make a monster profit at the countries expense.

Personally I like the country where I grew up as it's nice and quiet.
A medium size country town. No rush little traffic, clear sky's and wide open spaces.
I loved the night sky full of stars and the milky way. I loved the cold nights.
Milk fresh from the dairy full of cream and not that watery stuff we have now. :(

One day I would like to move out of Sydney to a much quieter place.

Quote from: iKate on May 10, 2015, 04:45:47 AM
What's cost of living like? That's pretty interesting. There's employment up there for me too.

Cost of living is pretty reasonable...pretty comparable to what I was paying in Northern California overall.  Gas and food are average, rent/property costs are high, but utility costs are negligible.  And no state income tax.  And like any major city, it depends on where you live.  I'm in a suburb 30 miles from downtown where costs are a bit lower and the schools are fantastic!

Seattle's job market is like any major city.  There's a lot going on here in just about every field.

Seattle has a reputation, but honestly it hasn't been nearly as rainy or dreary as I expected.  And the summer here is about as perfect as you can get.

Definitely let me know if you're ever in the area!  :)

I "live" in the city of Derry/Londonderry in Northern Ireland. I say "live" as I'm staying in student accommodation for university, so I travel a lot between here on weekdays and my actual home back in the countryside down in Antrim.

I've met so many new people up here and I love how everything is pretty much in walking distance for me. It's so easy to just go and hang out with friends or go out for a night since everything is so close by. I really want to stay up here but unfortunately my accommodation runs out before the end of May; so I'll have to go back to the countryside, where nobody else who I know lives and where everywhere I could go needs a 20 minute or longer drive (and even then I rarely get a chance to use the car since I share with my sister, who needs it for work).

I'm still going to try and travel up here once or twice a week, so I can still see my friends and be in the city, but it's going to cost me £16 a day for 2 bus trips, each trip around 1 hour 40 mins long.

Despite my actual home's location, I do really love the surroundings. Very quiet apart from the occasional airplanes overhead, and very wide, open spaces with very clear night skies ^-^

So both places have their advantages I guess :D

"NOo.." *covers mouth before raging and ranting*
I LOATHE Los Angeles. I live here with my partner, and we plan on running away to the lovely Bay Area by 2016 (so it isn't a California thing).
I guess if you are all about celebrity gossip, top 40 music, and have a car, it ain't so bad. Though I wouldn't know, because I'm none of those things.
But for being alternative/punky looking, painstakingly queer looking, and a person who craves art, cool weather, a comfortable city to walk/bike around in without feeling like you're going to get mugged/creeped on, and all-in-all friendliness, in lieu of grouchy bitterness of the ppl here, this isn't the place for me.

From a gender pov, I guess the laws out here are better than most states. Though this city, isn't all on-board with new laws about changing docs n' all that. I sometimes wonder if it weren't for San Francisco's influence, Los Angeles would be kind of conservative-ish like Arizona.

I like where I live and the city (Buenos Aires) but especially the neighborhood. Is near the train, the metro, a lot of public transports, easy acces to every places in the city, supermarkets and everything I need.  I always think of leave and live in other city or country but no, I would change this place so easyly

do i like austin? i like the easy access to good food like whole foods and the fact that every band comes here when they tour because we're the live music capital of the world. I like that its easier to be queer here than the rest of tx. but i hate the weather and I hate the gentrification and segregation. My family is literally the only nonwhite family in the neighborhood. and i want public transportation and less pretentious yuppies.

I don't like it where I live.. I live in a very small town, not much to do, too many people who I've known and known me as the gender I'm not so I find it hard to be myself cus I'd have to correct people's perseption of me.
I'd like to move to Trondheim.. Or possibly to the UK, or some other anglophonic place.

Quote from: King Malachite on May 10, 2015, 02:05:53 AM
I live in Upstate, South Carolina, and I HATE it here.  The LBGT resources here are scarce.  Ideally, I would rather live outside of the U.S., but if I'm sticking to the states, then my first picks would be California, New York, Washington, D.C., or Atlanta.  However, with my qualifications and life experiences, I wouldn't be able to survive there for long without any assistance.  Heck, if/when my mother kicks me out, I might not be able to survive here.  If I had to pick a "more obtainable" place for what I need, I'd probably pick Ashville, NC as Ashville seems more trans-friendly and from the looks of it, the public transportation is slightly better there than here.

I hear ya. I was born in Columbia, S.C. It's a beautiful state (nature wise), but über-conservative.

I love where I live.  I have access to beaches, lakes, mountains, and desert just a car ride away.  I do wish I was closer to my BFF however.  That is what planes are for of course.

No, not really

I live in a Mexican neighborhood.

I like Mexican food.

Win-win situation for me.

I don't have any really big problems with the place where I live, what I do have problems with is the people who make the decisions in our country. It seems that here in Hungary we are slowly going back to the dark ages and it is getting harder and harder to make ends meet.

We moved in together with my girlfriend in 2012 and a little later we moved to the capital, Budapest to get our transitions going in a more LGBT friendly environment and to get a job.

The first 3 years we lived in downtown in really nice flat for the price, very close to public transport stations and shops and neighborhood was pretty nice looking, the window and the door opened to the inner courtyard so it was quiet and the air was cleaner. Walls were 50 cm thick brick walls, sound proofing and heating was great. What we didn't like were the congestions, the smog outside at the streets and the drunken homeless people everywhere. I couldn't go shopping to any of the nearby stores without at least one of them asking for money or something else, sometimes bordering on harassment.

A few month ago we had to find a new flat but the prices were 1.5 times higher than what we paid before and every flat was worse in some regards than the one we rented in downtown so we had to settle with one which is farther from the city center and generally in a worse neighborhood. So far we didn't have any problems here, but it's too early to tell.

The cost of living here is quite high, but at least there is a chance to find a job. So far(knocking on wood) we always managed to not starve here and rent a flat with our money and even go on holidays which was a new thing to me as my family couldn't really afford a holiday.

The city has a lot of beautiful districts, it has a quite unique atmosphere but most people cannot see that as they have too many issues to care about anything else.

People are really negative, lot of them are always complaining, they always know better than everybody else but when something should be done nobody cares enough to actually do anything and corruption is ruining everything.

I think after I'm gone full-time we will seriously start weighing our options and take the steps to start a new life abroad because it seems that everything goes downhill in this country.