Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have had some rather mystical experiences looking in the mirror. There are times I seem to be able to see exactly the feminine soul that is inside. It happened to me last night while I was dancing. I went to a local gay bar that was rather dark and almost completely empty. I felt utterly free to dance anywhere I pleased in the place, and there was nobody to distract me. Like many bars, there were several large mirrors on the wall. I danced all over the place and ended up periodically in front of one of these mirrors. One time when I was positioned in front of these mirrors, I shut my eyes for a while and just lost myself in the music. When I opened my eyes, I saw the look of utter joy on my face. I also saw something else, a person utterly comfortable with who she is. It was if I had always been as I am now, and my previous life had melted away. It was both beautiful and eerie.

Hey April, what a treat... Just releasing yourself and seeing the real you, enjoying yourself to the max... Lovely

Doing it again?

L Katy

Glad your happy hugs  :D

Before I started transition, I told a therapist (not a gender specialist) that if I looked in the mirror long enough, that I could see a woman in my reflection; she replied "you would have to look for an awfully long time"  :icon_redface:

 Darkness and mirrors are precisely what some use to see aspects of themselves that they wouldn't normally see. I think it's great that you actually found that out by yourself just like that (and you even called it your soul) :)

humans, we project a lot on the outside. When it's defined, we just project what we're used to interpreting it as, it doesn't have a lot of flexibility, but when it does! (like in darkness and unfocusing) oh then you open yourself for your imagination to come into play more, and imagination is a great place for your soul (/heart) to show you something!

For me,  seeing myself in the mirror has been one of the greatest things in my life.   

Congrats. ..

Hugs

Jen

Congrats April. It feels wonderful doesn't it. There is nothing like that moment. I can remember the first time I felt that. Hugs
Mariah

Every now and then, I'll catch a glimmer - a hint at something possible to come... keeps me going -

I find myself staring into the mirror longer these days - just to catch that glimmer again...

Sorry, I might've misinterpreted, my answer was more for people who haven't transitioned already, :P Though not entirely..  I think it makes sense too for how it happened for you. It's interesting that it can happen out of the blue.
I know partially the feeling, but would like more of it.. mhm

I don't think I've caught myself in the mirror the way others have just yet.

But I do see my true self in my eyes from time to time. She seems pretty happy when that happens.

I can see her when I look at my my shadow, too.

Wow, that must have been great. I am more than a little jealous.

I feel more like SarahMarie about the eyes. I sometimes see something in my eyes. Most of the time I am repelled.

Congratulations. That is a gift.

Joanna

I don't know about my soul, but seeing me in the mirror has been great. I got my first glimpse when I started growing my hair out at 16, but it wasn't until my transition that I got a really good look. I actually think dying my hair has helped as well.

Unfortunately due to color abuse (I was washing my hair too frequently), my hair is a more boring color right now. I went in to get my nails fixed, but my stylist was like I can't let you go looking like that. So we did semi-permanent color to hold me over until my next full appointment. Its a huge improvement from what it looked like, but no where near as good as my "permanent color" did.

Quote from: kittenpower on May 08, 2015, 09:38:30 PM
Before I started transition, I told a therapist (not a gender specialist) that if I looked in the mirror long enough, that I could see a woman in my reflection; she replied "you would have to look for an awfully long time"  :icon_redface:

What a lousy thing to say to someone, Grrrrrr.  Obviously this creep was completely and totally wrong, look who shined through.   Dani

Sorry April, I got so ticked when I read about the remark toward kittenpower that I forgot to tell you how cool I thought your experience is.  It is so nice you are able to see you for who you really are!   Dani

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on May 11, 2015, 04:22:25 PM
What a lousy thing to say to someone, Grrrrrr.  Obviously this creep was completely and totally wrong, look who shined through.   Dani

I know I wouldn't go back to that therapist again. There are clearly therapists who don't buy into the idea of transitioning at all; most of them have religious convictions that get in the way.

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on May 11, 2015, 04:27:35 PM
Sorry April, I got so ticked when I read about the remark toward kittenpower that I forgot to tell you how cool I thought your experience is.  It is so nice you are able to see you for who you really are!   Dani

Dani, That's cool, and thanks. I am ticked too about that.

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on May 11, 2015, 04:22:25 PM
What a lousy thing to say to someone, Grrrrrr.  Obviously this creep was completely and totally wrong, look who shined through.   Dani

Thanks Dani, that was sweet; made me smile  :)

 I had something similar happen a couple of weeks ago.  I was doing my hair after I got out the shower looked in the mirror and caught myself saying "I love you Stevie". This caught me by surprise, it wasn't about how I looked it was about the way I felt, I never even liked myself before, this feels so much better.

I love those moments, when I catch myself in the mirror, or my reflection in the window, and just feel beautiful as hell.

I've been feeling this more and more since I've stopped repressing when I feel more like Sarah. It just feels really good and it makes me happy.

Lately, it has been just walking around and enjoying things a little more.