Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone, my boyfriend is having top surgery in a couple of weeks so I've been doing a lot of reading in this section in an effort to prepare. The doctor (garramone) provided a "checklist" of supplies to have on hand, but I'm looking for more practical recommendations and/or general information on what to expect.

Any anecdotes, advice or information you wish you'd had in advance are appreciated.



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You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187035.msg1665831.html#msg1665831
well concerning nutrition you might also check with the doctor...

Thanks! Not as concerned about meals as I'll be around for cooking. Was thinking more of ways to make him comfortable at home, things people wish they'd thought of before losing mobility etc.

Pain and recovery varies by person, but just trying to prepare as best we can.


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I'm sixteen days post-op and the biggest things for me are finding ways to get to appointments and pain management.  I'm still pretty sore, but I have some decent pain meds that I save for bed time.  And because I had DI, I can't move my arms that much, so having someone around to help with reaching things and changing bandages is great.

Your boyfriend is lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive partner.   :)

Congrats! And thank you :)


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Don't know if this applies but I wish I'd had better batteries for my Xbox controller, instead of having to get up and change the battery pack  or connect it to a charger every few hours. The first few days of doing that really sucked

Also anti nausea stuff in case of nausea post op. Whatever makes him feel better when he's sick. For me I had Zofran and sprite. Puking freaks me out so I had to make sure I didn't

It most certainly applies, lol. Good stuff, guys!


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If he can handle it, switch to a liquid diet a week before. I had fresh juice 5x a day and soup for dinner. It seems to have made a world of difference in terms of post-op digestion.

Fluffy pillows. Can't have too many. I also strongly preferred sleeping in a recliner to a bed, at least while my drains were in.

Something to occupy his time mentally. Video games, books, a laptop near where he'll be laying around.

Compression socks or sleeves to wear while he's resting. He'll probably be laying around for a few days, and these help with blood flow.

Set aside some cash for a treat meal once he's feeling up for it. My roommate got me Chinese when I decided I was ready for real food and it was like Christmas compared to the bland stuff I had been eating for 2 weeks at that point.

stool softeners if you don't have those (or if they don't provide them, my recovery house did), something for nausea (in case he gets sick from the anesthesia), and lots of pillows for his lower back while sleeping. whether he uses them under his lower back or under his legs to keep them elevated, it will be needed. especially if he's not sleeping in a recliner. sleeping on my back was the most difficult thing about the whole process. i had my drains out like 4 days after surgery and slept on my back 2 weeks about post op before i could comfortably sleep on my side again.

Quote from: invisiblemonsters on May 11, 2015, 01:55:11 PM
stool softeners if you don't have those (or if they don't provide them, my recovery house did), something for nausea (in case he gets sick from the anesthesia), and lots of pillows for his lower back while sleeping. whether he uses them under his lower back or under his legs to keep them elevated, it will be needed. especially if he's not sleeping in a recliner. sleeping on my back was the most difficult thing about the whole process. i had my drains out like 4 days after surgery and slept on my back 2 weeks about post op before i could comfortably sleep on my side again.

Yeah definitely make sure you have an abundance of pillows. I had top surgery 3 years ago and I still remember to this day how irritating the drains were. They cause so much discomfort so make sure there's enough support for him to be somewhat upright when it comes to sleeping. If he is a backsleeper it may not be a problem, but I usually sleep on my side or my stomach which was a big no-no.

I found that shortly after surgery, I felt both happy to post op but a little uncomfortable laying around shirtless. I had a blanket to cover up with so I didn't have to stare at the bandages. Some very light though, as with some people, the soreness is worse than others.

I'd also recommend either a held shower head something similar. Showering was nerve wracking the first week after my drains were removed. My husband had to shower with me. He was really sweet and would wash my back for me, or anything else when I was too nervous to bend down. I have a Japanese shower so it wasn't so bad for me, as we could move the shower head down to waist level. He bought me a small plastic stool to sit on so that when I showered alone, I didn't have to worry about the water hitting my grafts. If you can't get an adjusting shower head, I'd recommend something that he can use to stabilize himself. Showering while trying to protect your chest can be a bit awkward. My husband also got a very very soft cloth for me to wash my chest (after I healed enough to wash with more than my hands.

The only other thing I can think of would be a fan and a small space heater. It was the middle of summer here and I was still going between hot and cold. I don't think everyone has the same reaction, but I'd have the fan on until I got cold and then the heater until I was too warm.

Great stuff guys, thank you again and please keep the suggestions coming!


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A sponge on a stick to wash his lower body so that he doesn't have to lean over in the shower. I slept sitting somewhat upright for several weeks. I had one of these backrest thing they called " husbands" in college (in the early 90's they called them that anyway!).  I had access to a recliner, but preferred the backrest thing in bed.

We always called them wedges, but when I tried to look it up all I got was "intimate" time pillows. While those are nice, I wouldn't say it's what he's gonna need!

I had to send my husband to the store to get some body wipes. Here they sell Gatsby stuff that is for wiping up sweat and stuff (I love that company). I don't know if they have anything like that where you are. I would tecommed something he can freshen up with even for aftercare. I have weird skin so showering more than my average can wreck my skin. The wipes were fantastic for that.

Post-op now, and in addition to the above info, I'd add:
I have a recliner but didn't even want to try sleeping in it. I slept alone in a regular bed, with pillows at my sides to help keep from rolling over and/or tugging on my drains. My first two nights were in the hospital though.

Speaking of drains, I found it at times to be more convenient to safety pin them to my jammie pants rather than my shirt. But this may depend on tube length. But I'd ask a nurse about doing it because it was very convenient.

Gel style deodorant. And he should try it out before surgery to ensure no allergic reactions to it. My wife was able to easily apply it, then when I started being able to, it made it so much easier than a solid. As a note, I still find it easier to use the same hand for the pit. Left pit? Left hand. Just curl up the arm and wrist.

Baby wipes for sure. I purchased unscented. I also bought some flushable ones, which made wiping easier. For me anyway.

If you have a tub... I found running a shallow bath while kneeling in the tub a somewhat ok way for me to do some minimal washing by bending over. I also had abdominal laparoscopic surgery at the same time, and this method worked ok until I was able to shower. But it required my wife to be there to help me use the shower head, and just to make sure I was safe.

This might be overkill, but I was so glad I did it. I bought a device you plug into an outlet that has a remote. I turned on my rotating fan and plugged it into this device. I was able to use the remote to turn the fan (across the room) off and on from bed. Even though wife was home with me for a couple days, it was fantastic to be able to operate the fan on my own. I don't know why I was so finicky about having it on or not, but it made a big difference in my comfort.

Wishing you two good luck!

Thank you all so much!


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Tomorrow is the big day. Pre op consult was this morning. Scripts are filled, we have ginger ale, bendy straws, pillow chair, x box batteries, books, laxative tea, probiotics, soft sponge, scrub on a stick, body wipes, face wipes, gel deodorant, comfort food, a bidet, compression socks, I'm making sourdough bread and have a nurses outfit (although with the no elevated heart rate for 3 weeks rule it may have to wait, lol). I think we're ready. Send some positive energy to south Florida tomorrow, guys. Thanks again for all of your help!


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Wish you luck.

Just relax, you will come out all right.


hugs

Hey Regina!  How is he?  How are things?

He's as well as can be expected - mentally great, physically some pain.he gets very frustrated not being able to help around the house or even do basic stuff for himself, but that's normal, I'd think. All of the advice here has come in handy. He feels a little better every day, but I "strongly caution" him against over doing it :) he just had a nap and some lunch and now he's playing xbox.

Post op visit is Tuesday we are both excited to see what's under the bandages!


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Congratulations :)

Well you might simply tell him to enjoy the time ... maybe its not often he can simply relax and lay back :)

hugs

I definitely remind him to enjoy it while it lasts ;) I'm not the wait on you hand and foot type, so I think he should savor every moment lol


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Quote from: Regina on May 24, 2015, 10:55:47 AM
I definitely remind him to enjoy it while it lasts ;) I'm not the wait on you hand and foot type, so I think he should savor every moment lol


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*laughs*

Yes, tell him so :)

Quote from: ftmax on May 11, 2015, 01:32:17 PM
If he can handle it, switch to a liquid diet a week before. I had fresh juice 5x a day and soup for dinner. It seems to have made a world of difference in terms of post-op digestion.

Fluffy pillows. Can't have too many. I also strongly preferred sleeping in a recliner to a bed, at least while my drains were in.

Something to occupy his time mentally. Video games, books, a laptop near where he'll be laying around.

Compression socks or sleeves to wear while he's resting. He'll probably be laying around for a few days, and these help with blood flow.

Set aside some cash for a treat meal once he's feeling up for it. My roommate got me Chinese when I decided I was ready for real food and it was like Christmas compared to the bland stuff I had been eating for 2 weeks at that point.

Hey I'm going for surgery within the next month (go for consult tomorrow) and was just wondering if you wouldn't mind elaborating on why switch to a liquid diet before surgery? 

Quote from: kaidenhendricks89 on May 26, 2015, 01:31:38 PM
Hey I'm going for surgery within the next month (go for consult tomorrow) and was just wondering if you wouldn't mind elaborating on why switch to a liquid diet before surgery?

Liquids are more easily digested and they don't leave anything behind like solids do. It's helpful when you are going under anesthesia and potentially taking pain killers, as these both tend to have people constipated. I didn't need the stool softeners that were pretty much universally recommended by everyone. Had no trouble going to the bathroom, didn't have any anesthesia bloat.

I did 5 fresh juice mixes per day (not stuff already bottled, but fruits/vegetables that I juiced myself or had someone juice for me) with a chicken broth soup for dinner. And nothing else. The juice has all of the nutrients that your body needs. The soup was just so I didn't get bored.

Highly recommend it, though it is one of the pricier things to do if you don't already have a juicer at home. It does take a bit to mentally get used to it, but I do think it helped me a lot in terms of having an easier recovery.

Quote from: ftmax on May 26, 2015, 02:26:45 PM
Liquids are more easily digested and they don't leave anything behind like solids do. It's helpful when you are going under anesthesia and potentially taking pain killers, as these both tend to have people constipated. I didn't need the stool softeners that were pretty much universally recommended by everyone. Had no trouble going to the bathroom, didn't have any anesthesia bloat.

I did 5 fresh juice mixes per day (not stuff already bottled, but fruits/vegetables that I juiced myself or had someone juice for me) with a chicken broth soup for dinner. And nothing else. The juice has all of the nutrients that your body needs. The soup was just so I didn't get bored.

Highly recommend it, though it is one of the pricier things to do if you don't already have a juicer at home. It does take a bit to mentally get used to it, but I do think it helped me a lot in terms of having an easier recovery.

Ok awesome, thank you.  I do have a juicer and I know when I was juicing with eating solids as well I felt awesome so I think I'll go ahead and do liquids before surgery. Did you continue to juice post op?

Quote from: kaidenhendricks89 on May 26, 2015, 02:30:43 PM
Ok awesome, thank you.  I do have a juicer and I know when I was juicing with eating solids as well I felt awesome so I think I'll go ahead and do liquids before surgery. Did you continue to juice post op?

Yes! I did nothing but juice&soup a week pre-op, and then for about five days post op (I think it was 5 days? Whenever I ran out of produce). I try to do 5-7 days per month of nothing but juice, so I figured it wouldn't be a stretch to do it pre and post op.

Start adding in bland foods like soup, rice, etc. towards the end of the period you're trying to do, just so your body gets re-acclimated to it. I made and froze a bunch of rice with chicken meatballs, and that seemed to work well.

Quote from: ftmax on May 26, 2015, 02:53:01 PM
Yes! I did nothing but juice&soup a week pre-op, and then for about five days post op (I think it was 5 days? Whenever I ran out of produce). I try to do 5-7 days per month of nothing but juice, so I figured it wouldn't be a stretch to do it pre and post op.

Start adding in bland foods like soup, rice, etc. towards the end of the period you're trying to do, just so your body gets re-acclimated to it. I made and froze a bunch of rice with chicken meatballs, and that seemed to work well.

Ok thank you so much sounds like a plan I can follow easily enough

Quote from: ftmax on May 26, 2015, 02:26:45 PM
Liquids are more easily digested and they don't leave anything behind like solids do. It's helpful when you are going under anesthesia and potentially taking pain killers, as these both tend to have people constipated. I didn't need the stool softeners that were pretty much universally recommended by everyone. Had no trouble going to the bathroom, didn't have any anesthesia bloat.

I did 5 fresh juice mixes per day (not stuff already bottled, but fruits/vegetables that I juiced myself or had someone juice for me) with a chicken broth soup for dinner. And nothing else. The juice has all of the nutrients that your body needs. The soup was just so I didn't get bored.

Highly recommend it, though it is one of the pricier things to do if you don't already have a juicer at home. It does take a bit to mentally get used to it, but I do think it helped me a lot in terms of having an easier recovery.

That's an awesome idea!! Thank you so much. I'll keep that in mind for my surgery.  :)

Quote from: Ayden on May 13, 2015, 05:58:37 AM
I had to send my husband to the store to get some body wipes. Here they sell Gatsby stuff that is for wiping up sweat and stuff (I love that company).

Can you tell me if you've gone to onsen since your top surgery? Was there any reaction to your scars? I've always avoided public bathing because of chest dysphoria but I might be interested post-op. I'm agender but would probably use the female side since it'll be super obvious I am not male.

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