Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Wynternight on May 17, 2015, 11:29:05 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Wynternight on May 17, 2015, 11:29:05 PM
Post by: Wynternight on May 17, 2015, 11:29:05 PM
My very stubborn, hard core right-wing, Fox News viewing, homophobic father. I'm working up the courage to hit send. I won't do it tonight because I know I won't sleep but probably will tomorrow morning.
I'm very much afraid this will be my first outright rejection in my transition.
I'm very much afraid this will be my first outright rejection in my transition.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Cindy on May 17, 2015, 11:57:22 PM
Post by: Cindy on May 17, 2015, 11:57:22 PM
Hugs Hon.
Sometimes knowing you are rejected can empower you to move on and put that part of your life behind you - even if it is family.
But I hope he responds with love and support to his wonderful daughter.
Sometimes knowing you are rejected can empower you to move on and put that part of your life behind you - even if it is family.
But I hope he responds with love and support to his wonderful daughter.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: ChiGirl on May 17, 2015, 11:57:31 PM
Post by: ChiGirl on May 17, 2015, 11:57:31 PM
Good idea to sleep on it just in case you think of something to edit. Good luck & hugs!
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: katrinaw on May 18, 2015, 01:09:19 AM
Post by: katrinaw on May 18, 2015, 01:09:19 AM
hugs, feel for you... but I guess you can't hide it for ever... maybe it is sleep on it, if you can.
Good luck with either decision :-*
L Katy
Good luck with either decision :-*
L Katy
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 01:25:35 AM
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 01:25:35 AM
Dear Wynternight
It may not be that bad - your brother worked out fine, despite your nerves.
If your family is into things like love, mutual support and self-achievement, emphasise these things in your email.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Julia
It may not be that bad - your brother worked out fine, despite your nerves.
If your family is into things like love, mutual support and self-achievement, emphasise these things in your email.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Julia
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 07:47:07 AM
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 07:47:07 AM
I hit the send button this morning. There's nothing to do now but wait.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Laura_7 on May 18, 2015, 07:52:40 AM
Post by: Laura_7 on May 18, 2015, 07:52:40 AM
Envision a positive outcome and send positive emotions this way.
It helps.
Hope for the best.
I'd say simply be a bit guarded but be yourself.
Have a *hug*
It helps.
Hope for the best.
I'd say simply be a bit guarded but be yourself.
Have a *hug*
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 08:43:06 AM
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 08:43:06 AM
You'll be fine. Be strong and be yourself!
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: FTMax on May 18, 2015, 12:14:02 PM
Post by: FTMax on May 18, 2015, 12:14:02 PM
Hugs! Let us know how it goes. Crossing my fingers that you get a good response!
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: stephaniec on May 18, 2015, 12:27:54 PM
Post by: stephaniec on May 18, 2015, 12:27:54 PM
good luck, you'll be all right whatever happens it's your life.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 12:53:19 PM
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 12:53:19 PM
My father and I have always had a stormy relationship. We've argued, threatened, been close to blows on many ocassions so I did not go into this with high hopes. Add to that his years of very vocal homophobia and any hopes I had were dim, at best.
He responded to me this morning and I have to say I'm on the verge of tears. If not for being at work I would be crying at what he wrote. He wrote a letter of such love and support that it took my breath away. I was close to hyperventilating reading it. He told me he was behind me 1000% and that he loves me and whatever I need to do to be happy then I go ahead and do it. There's more but that's the basic idea.
I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. I have all of my immediate family behind me now which is an amasing feeling.
I'm still kind of stunned. :)
He responded to me this morning and I have to say I'm on the verge of tears. If not for being at work I would be crying at what he wrote. He wrote a letter of such love and support that it took my breath away. I was close to hyperventilating reading it. He told me he was behind me 1000% and that he loves me and whatever I need to do to be happy then I go ahead and do it. There's more but that's the basic idea.
I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. I have all of my immediate family behind me now which is an amasing feeling.
I'm still kind of stunned. :)
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Laura_7 on May 18, 2015, 12:57:14 PM
Post by: Laura_7 on May 18, 2015, 12:57:14 PM
Congratulations :)
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: traci_k on May 18, 2015, 01:39:09 PM
Post by: traci_k on May 18, 2015, 01:39:09 PM
That is so awesome to hear. Congratulations!
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Athena on May 18, 2015, 01:42:06 PM
Post by: Athena on May 18, 2015, 01:42:06 PM
Glad to hear things went well for you
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: marsh monster on May 18, 2015, 01:44:59 PM
Post by: marsh monster on May 18, 2015, 01:44:59 PM
good to hear that he supports you.
my dad was similar, listened to Glen Beck and Dr. Laura too, but he supported me, even helped pay some of the doctor bills associated with it. After he passed, I found that he had also saved the very first Birthday card I gave him as his daughter. So you never know, you can't write people off before you try.
my dad was similar, listened to Glen Beck and Dr. Laura too, but he supported me, even helped pay some of the doctor bills associated with it. After he passed, I found that he had also saved the very first Birthday card I gave him as his daughter. So you never know, you can't write people off before you try.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: stephaniec on May 18, 2015, 01:57:19 PM
Post by: stephaniec on May 18, 2015, 01:57:19 PM
I'm so happy for you . It's so great when you have love backing you up. congrats
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: awilliams1701 on May 18, 2015, 02:18:07 PM
Post by: awilliams1701 on May 18, 2015, 02:18:07 PM
That's awesome. I'm happy for you.
Its the possibility of something positive like this happening as to why we shouldn't put it off. They are going to react the way they react and nothing we do will change that.
Its the possibility of something positive like this happening as to why we shouldn't put it off. They are going to react the way they react and nothing we do will change that.
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Matthew on May 18, 2015, 02:30:23 PM
Post by: Matthew on May 18, 2015, 02:30:23 PM
God, I'm so happy for you!!!
(((HUGS)))
(((HUGS)))
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Devlyn on May 18, 2015, 02:49:19 PM
Post by: Devlyn on May 18, 2015, 02:49:19 PM
I'm late in, but yays! :) I'm really glad it went well for you.
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 02:51:56 PM
Post by: Julia-Madrid on May 18, 2015, 02:51:56 PM
And so, stunned Wynternight, it's even possible for Fox News viewers to be human, occasionally :D
I am so very pleased for you! Perhaps this will herald a better understanding between you and your father - it's a possibility. After years of not understanding each other, now might be a time when he finally understands why you are the person you are.
You can go to sleep happy tonight, and don't create any worries or new obstacles for yourself, at least until tomorrow! ;)
Hugs
Julia
I am so very pleased for you! Perhaps this will herald a better understanding between you and your father - it's a possibility. After years of not understanding each other, now might be a time when he finally understands why you are the person you are.
You can go to sleep happy tonight, and don't create any worries or new obstacles for yourself, at least until tomorrow! ;)
Hugs
Julia
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Jerri on May 18, 2015, 03:30:00 PM
Post by: Jerri on May 18, 2015, 03:30:00 PM
o my gosh Wynternight this so hits home for each us I am sure, but I am sitting work typing this with tears of joy for you streaming down my cheeks ( which I hate doing at work also). I am truly very happy for and the joy you must be reveling in at the moment
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 03:50:21 PM
Post by: Wynternight on May 18, 2015, 03:50:21 PM
Thank you all. This is an unexpected joy that I feel will only strengthen the bond between my father and I.
I know how you feel, Jerri. I was struggling not to cry here at work. :)
I know how you feel, Jerri. I was struggling not to cry here at work. :)
Title: Re: I've Written an Email to my Father
Post by: FTMax on May 18, 2015, 06:10:31 PM
Post by: FTMax on May 18, 2015, 06:10:31 PM
This is wonderful news! Good for him, and great for you :)