Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi my name is Christine, I recently came out as transsexual male to female, I'm 26 years old and I live alone in Downham Market located in England Norfolk. Iv'e known sense I was about 9 years old and tried to come out when I was about 16 years old but I was so afraid that I would be kicked out so kept it in side for years and tried to cover up my girly side.
For years I tried dressing behind closes doors when I was young and over the last year I been playing with make up and dresses and just experimenting finding myself, then in march I decide to come out with the fear of being left alone and its the best thing I ever did as I'm free to be myself.

I was surprised to find my family was supportive after years of hearings horrible story's of gay bashing and racist chatter between them, I was sure they was going to hate me but instead they have been supportive . My mother even brought me my first handbag and my dad is super at clothe shopping(his got 3 sisters so he has a good idea what I like) .

But even having a family I'm very lonely I have only one friend who is a 50 year man and works all the time so I hardly get to see him, no one ever seems to want to know me. Most people take advantage of me and use me such as they knock on my door just to use my phone and then leave with out even asking me how I am or sitting to have a cup of tea. I'm under mental health services but feel neglected in which they are suppose to see me each 2 weeks and I tend to go months with out contact. But I try to keep a bright positive thought pattern to break my illness.

For someone who has just came out on march the 3rd I believe I've taken major steps forward in my transition already.
     I have thrown out all my men's clothes and brought a new wall-drove worth of women's clothes + wig and gone full time as a women. Some people stare at me but I try to ignore it as it don't bother me what they think, but no one wants to be my friend which is quite depressing.
     I have started Electrolysis yesterday already but they are telling me to come back each 3 days which quite expensive considering I want to save for Facial Feminization Surgery which I was quoted in dollars $16600 to change my face from a male range to a female range at the same time .  I find electrolysis is painful but I can bear it on my face but god help me when I start below the waist tomorrow.
I'm due to see a Gender Dysphoria Psychiatrist on the 1st of june hoping for the best.
I started my saving I put my first £100 a side this week, its small but its a start and I think its best if I cut my surgery into sections to make it for affordable, sounds like a good plan to me.
I'm struggling to find money to save as its a lot of money to me and I'm unable to get a loan because I'm unemployed sadly and unable to work due to mental health issues, even do I have a good history of paying back on time all the time, silly rules these companys have but there dont seem to be much help in England for cosmic surgery .

      Interesting over the last few weeks I find my self curious to have intercourse with another transsexual/transgender(I dont mean to offend anyone) after years of thinking that I only like Girls, its something very strange to me but I think one day ill be able to experiment but is this normal to happen its very confusing to me ?, is it because I'm becoming more open minded maybe ?.

      I hope that my Psychiatrist can prescribe me hormones in the months to come and work towards sex reassignment surgery in a year or 2 so that I can feel more comfortable in my own body. I already tape it backwards when I can and even found a way to do it so I can pee sitting down which is quite funny I think.

Well that is me I hope to make some new friends as I'm really lonely and hope to find some stuff that may help me on my journey by joining this site.

Hey Christine

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I understand that things are difficult - transition is not cheap for anyone and the majority of the people on this site are in exactly the same boat as you and struggling to make ends meet. As such we do not allow any links to fundraising sites or requests for costs to be covered. I do hope that you still find this to be a useful and supportive site.

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Cheers

Grace

Hello from a Blackpool girl

Hi Christine  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 19, 2015, 02:07:47 PM
Hey Christine

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I understand that things are difficult - transition is not cheap for anyone and the majority of the people on this site are in exactly the same boat as you and struggling to make ends meet. As such we do not allow any links to fundraising sites or requests for costs to be covered. I do hope that you still find this to be a useful and supportive site.

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Cheers

Grace

Thank you for the heads up I'm reading them links right now, it wont happen again :).


Hi all happy to be here, got to wake early tomorrow for my next Electrolysis appointment, already the patch area shows the hairs are much thinner , so I'm really happy about that which is fantastic.

How do I add a profile picture of myself ? please anyone.

Christine, welcome to the forum! Transitioning's tough and expensive.  :'(  But you'll find lots of support here!

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I wasn't able to post a profile picture until I had 15 posts in the forum. Cheers!

Quote from: Fids on May 19, 2015, 05:23:14 PM
Christine, welcome to the forum! Transitioning's tough and expensive.  :'(  But you'll find lots of support here!

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I wasn't able to post a profile picture until I had 15 posts in the forum. Cheers!

Ah yeah that would explain why there is no edit options for it.
I'm going to speak to my support worker about the cost.

Hello Christine and welcome to Susan's.


:)

Welcome to Susan's Place.

Thank you all , its 1:28 am and I still cant sleep and i got to be up by 7, big day a head of me tomorrow.

Hi Christine, welcome to Susans. It's wonderful to her your family is supportive. I look forward to seeing you around the site. good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Hi Christine, Welcome to Susan's...

Glad you've joined us...

Its a fantastic start having your family being supportive... but it is a journey and a half.

As far as loneliness goes try and join any local groups you can... when you get to your therapist they may be able to point you to local groups?

Either way you will find support, friendship and help here, after all we are a big happy family...

Look forward to seeing you about the forums.

L Katy  :-*

Thanks everyone.
I'm looking forwards to my psychiatrist appointment on the 1st, but hating the Electrolsis its quite painful but I can bear it, its so hard not shaving I just want to cry more people are looking at me in the streets.

How do I find local groups, I have searched but found nothing :(.

My mum's told me that my dad is lying in my face, that he is against me transitioning.
I've asked him outright and he just got really mad at my mother for telling me and started yelling saying that I'm a man, and then my brother started up a little but i expected that.
I'm feeling quite low and confused as he went shopping with me, when I did come out at first he walked off untill I started crying and came back saying he was just getting a drink so i believed him, this plus the fact I cant return to my own home for while I'm forced to live here for up to 3 months while my housing issue gets resolved, its stressing me out I miss my own space and homesick.

I don't know what to do.

Hey Christine! Welcome!

I'm new here too so maybe we could find some confidence in each other as we watch each other grow.

I hope things go well for you and I'd love to get to know you as a person!

You can do this!

Hugs Hon. I know it doesn't always help but it does get better. The hardest thing is to deal with family, so often they just don't understand, they seem to live in a half way acceptance. It can seem they love you one minute then reject you the next.

I put this down to some strange belief that you can be 'cured' of this odd turn in their lives, without realising that for us it is liberation and not an 'odd turn'.

We have dealt with our horror for all of our lives, they have dealt with it for days, weeks or months. It takes time. I know how horrible that sounds. Your brother sounds supportive but he is a guy 'losing' his brother not quite realising he has a beautiful sister instead. It is a normal male reaction, men generally are not good at these things. They live the solo male life, women generally don't, we like company being open and social, talking about personal issues, men generally don't like and can be uncomfortable with this.

People in the street!  Goddess don't you just love them, all eyes and gawk! I found that wearing my feminity openly, non-aggressively, but proudly changed people. People will talk and look, if you can open up and be friendly, one of the biggest changes people  notice is how happy you are. Family can see this as well. Use it as a weapon if need be.

When I began I wore my armour proudly, I would not let anyone hurt me. I'm stronger than them. Im a transgender woman. You now something? I'm proud of that, and you should be as well.

How did it all turn out? I'm now so well accepted it can take hours to do the shopping as so many people are my friends who want to have a chat. I'm interested in them and they are in me. We have big talks about kids birthdays, relatives going in hospital, the weather being lousy,good,getting worse or better - just normal stuff!

You are on the verge of a dream life. Grasp it. Don't worry about the haters, they will change.

You are with your family now and we understand how hard it can be.

My Love

Cindy

Quote from: Marceline on May 24, 2015, 10:34:40 AM
Hey Christine! Welcome!

I'm new here too so maybe we could find some confidence in each other as we watch each other grow.

I hope things go well for you and I'd love to get to know you as a person!

You can do this!

You certainly can! Nice to see you here as well Marceline. What a cute name! I love it.

Hi Christine,

Welcome to Susan's!
Sorry to hear about your father's and brother's reaction. I am facing something similar from my father, so I can understand. Don't worry, it's only a matter of a few months as you said. Try to do things in the meantime which can help you feel better and also not cause too much conflict. Then once you have your own space, you can proceed as you want and let your family figure out their own path to acceptance and understanding.
About people in the street, as Cindy rightly said, just be confident and be yourself and they'll either love you for it or know not to mess with you. :)

See you around
Cindy

Quote from: Cindy on May 24, 2015, 10:42:48 AM
Hugs Hon. I know it doesn't always help but it does get better. The hardest thing is to deal with family, so often they just don't understand, they seem to live in a half way acceptance. It can seem they love you one minute then reject you the next.

I put this down to some strange belief that you can be 'cured' of this odd turn in their lives, without realising that for us it is liberation and not an 'odd turn'.

We have dealt with our horror for all of our lives, they have dealt with it for days, weeks or months. It takes time. I know how horrible that sounds. Your brother sounds supportive but he is a guy 'losing' his brother not quite realising he has a beautiful sister instead. It is a normal male reaction, men generally are not good at these things. They live the solo male life, women generally don't, we like company being open and social, talking about personal issues, men generally don't like and can be uncomfortable with this.

People in the street!  Goddess don't you just love them, all eyes and gawk! I found that wearing my feminity openly, non-aggressively, but proudly changed people. People will talk and look, if you can open up and be friendly, one of the biggest changes people  notice is how happy you are. Family can see this as well. Use it as a weapon if need be.

When I began I wore my armour proudly, I would not let anyone hurt me. I'm stronger than them. Im a transgender woman. You now something? I'm proud of that, and you should be as well.

How did it all turn out? I'm now so well accepted it can take hours to do the shopping as so many people are my friends who want to have a chat. I'm interested in them and they are in me. We have big talks about kids birthdays, relatives going in hospital, the weather being lousy,good,getting worse or better - just normal stuff!

You are on the verge of a dream life. Grasp it. Don't worry about the haters, they will change.

You are with your family now and we understand how hard it can be.

My Love

Cindy

My dad has calmed down over the last few days, my brother however seems to turn his nose up at me. I've tried being nice to him like i brought him a DVD to show him i still love him but his just so rude to me its quite upsetting.
I got the phone to my uncle the other day and he was really happy to hear from me which is great as I started worrying because he took it so hard last time. I just got to give them time but I fully agree one minute their ok with it and then the next they are completely against it.

Sadly I'm becoming very stressed with everything going on around me at the moment, i have the stress of the court and my house was broken into so i had to sort out my insurance and then my support workers neglecting.
I got to the point were my mother took me to A&E at 11 oclock at night because I became suicidal again they gave me some medicine and I've calmed down a bit, I feel like I need admitting again to the ward.

Starting to have good results with electroysis, the hairs grow back blond now and thinner, something good and I brought 4 new dress's to make me feel good.

Quote from: Marceline on May 24, 2015, 10:34:40 AM
Hey Christine! Welcome!

I'm new here too so maybe we could find some confidence in each other as we watch each other grow.

I hope things go well for you and I'd love to get to know you as a person!

You can do this!

That would be very nice to get to know you and watch each other grow, I think that is a great idea :)

Quote from: cindy16 on May 24, 2015, 12:18:36 PM
Hi Christine,

Welcome to Susan's!
Sorry to hear about your father's and brother's reaction. I am facing something similar from my father, so I can understand. Don't worry, it's only a matter of a few months as you said. Try to do things in the meantime which can help you feel better and also not cause too much conflict. Then once you have your own space, you can proceed as you want and let your family figure out their own path to acceptance and understanding.
About people in the street, as Cindy rightly said, just be confident and be yourself and they'll either love you for it or know not to mess with you. :)

See you around
Cindy

I'm starting to get used to people staring at me now so I just smile back, now some people are even supportive in public places, I went to buy some chicken/chips and the two workers was so supportive they made me smile.
And some people are a bit nasty but some cases its funny, such as I feel over and a lady ran up to me and said are you ok and when she saw my face she looked horrified then walked off and I just felt like laughing.

There are going to many problems but it will be worth it in the end. My fathers been dead almost 25 years and I found out a short time ago that he never accepted me becoming a woman. As for my mother, I talked to her on the phone all the time and she took years to get used to it. Still both supported me and were civil. Also get ready for some more sleepless nights because any time emotional events happens, you may pay for it that night.
On passing in public, the best thing you can do is not let it bother you. If you show nerves, it will confirm what they suspect.  Just think you are a beautiful woman and be proud of it.