Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I came out at school a lot of people are supportive or don't care. The teachers are nice and are accepting. But I feel rude when i go to correct them when they call me wrong. I don't know why but I do. Sometimes I don't correct them at all. Any idea on how to get over it. Do you guys correct them when they are wrong? Sorry for being all over the place

Oh yeah, you let it slip and people think they're right. Usually what I do goes something like this:

Innocent (enough) Mis-namer: "Hey [birthname] can you help me on this?"
Me: "Hey Andrew (with slight emphasis) can you help me on this?"

They usually blush, stumble, and/or correct themselves and apologise. Luckily I only have to suffer through it in a classroom environment until the end of the year, then I'll be starting fresh at college. In any case, I wouldn't feel too bad about correcting people; it seems that when you don't at least once or twice, they won't bother to correct themselves, and you'll end up being misgendered and called the wrong name a whole lot longer than if you just give them an occasional nudge in the right direction.

If someone misgenders me accidentally, or if I'm not sure, I correct them politely and wait for an apology. If they are defensive or if it becomes clear it was purposeful, I treat it the way I would treat any brazenly disrespectful insult.

Because that's exactly what it is.

When that happened at work I would just ask "who"? They realised and corrected themselves/apologised.

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 21, 2015, 06:17:34 AM
When that happened at work I would just ask "who"? They realised and corrected themselves/apologised.

I might have to steal that one for what little time I have left in HS! That's definitely a better approach, mine was just kind of a temporary solution, anyhow.  ;)

Oh I like that one as well grace. I think I might be stealing it too

With my peers I have no problem and just go who I don't no (Birth-name). Or I just say what they said with the correct name. Thank you for the reply's, just wanted to what others do.

I took Cindy's suggestion and would misgender them back :angel:

You can't always get away with that though, depending on who you are talking to. Especially with a teacher.

I like Grace's "who", good simple solution

Had to correct my dad a few days ago when I was visiting. I had a friend with me, and luckily she's trans too so she not only understood what was going on but she got to experience what it's like since she's just starting out. My dad doesn't mean to refer to me as 'he' but he's old so it slips out. I pointed out that he said it while my friend was out of the room and he apologized, but it did make me feel awkward going out of my way to point it out to him. I feel I have to though, or he may never get used to it.

I correct people if they have access to old records and I don't want the wrong pronouns to get entrenched.

With people who don't know I'm trans or who might know but may or may not know what trans means, I just let it go. Objecting to being misgendered calls attention to me and to my gender identity and it's usually best to just be chill about it and stay under the radar.

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 21, 2015, 06:17:34 AM
When that happened at work I would just ask "who"? They realised and corrected themselves/apologised.

Went looking for solutions to  the problem of misnaming/misgendering that has been happening repeatedly for me. This one, I like it. Simple, easy, and throws the hot potato right back at them. :D

over all people have been pretty good, I understand it will be harder for family to get use to it. I haven't regularly corrected anyone in fact I cant remember ever doing it, but I do have several incredible friends who do it for me occasionally.

Also I have recently started a two prong assault first I just don't responding to (old name) or male pronouns. second I thank people when they make a mistake and correct themselves, I am operating on a positive reinforcement method plus passive resistance, mostly because I am a coward and have trouble confronting people. I also know if I do get into any verbal back and forth like that my already awful voice will drop into a lower register and make me feel depressed and upset for at least an hour.

I correct people and they seem embarrassed and apologize rather than think, "ok let me just humor this person."

I'm going to stop wearing pants because that's when it happens.

In my experiences I find that the only way people will get use to it is if I make the corrections. So I correct it and move on with the conversation. In my mind if I don't correct it, it gives them the greenlight to keep getting it wrong.

So far I've never needed to correct anybody. On the rare occasion where I've been misgendered they've picked up  on it right afterwards and corrected themselves.