Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: Pizzaparty78 on May 29, 2015, 05:58:57 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out in high school
Post by: Pizzaparty78 on May 29, 2015, 05:58:57 PM
Post by: Pizzaparty78 on May 29, 2015, 05:58:57 PM
I'm struggling to find another thread about this, or some videos, so I apologize if I did miss anything.
Anyway, I'm a freshman in high school, and the school year ends in a couple weeks. I've come out to my friends, and a couple teachers and classmates. I want to start school next year as a guy, but 70% of the people who know me at school don't know that I'm trans, and call me "she" and all that still. How do I go about coming out to them so they know? I dont want them calling me out if the teacher calls me "he" plus I want my classmates to call me he.
Thanks
-Grayson
Anyway, I'm a freshman in high school, and the school year ends in a couple weeks. I've come out to my friends, and a couple teachers and classmates. I want to start school next year as a guy, but 70% of the people who know me at school don't know that I'm trans, and call me "she" and all that still. How do I go about coming out to them so they know? I dont want them calling me out if the teacher calls me "he" plus I want my classmates to call me he.
Thanks
-Grayson
Title: Re: Coming out in high school
Post by: suzifrommd on May 29, 2015, 06:51:59 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on May 29, 2015, 06:51:59 PM
Do you have a gay straight alliance at your school? The one we have has been a big help to trans teens.
If you're going to be gendered correctly by people who used to know the old you, someone is going to have to tell them. It can be you, or someone else.
If you, you can tell people individually, or you can announce to the class your new name and that you'll be changing pronouns (no other details are necessary).
If someone else, you can get teachers to do it, tell the class about your new name and pronouns. Or, if you have friends who would be willing, you can ask them to correct people.
You will find there are two types of people who misgender you.
1. Those who do it accidentally, either because they don't know or forgot. For them, simply inform/remind them. You'll know these people because they apologize and make an effort to get it right in the future.
2. Those who do it on purpose. That is harassment and bullying and needs to be dealt with accordingly. The school has a legal requirement to keep your educational environment free of harassment.
Good luck Grayson. I hope your transition goes smoothly. There's nothing in the world like people seeing the real you.
If you're going to be gendered correctly by people who used to know the old you, someone is going to have to tell them. It can be you, or someone else.
If you, you can tell people individually, or you can announce to the class your new name and that you'll be changing pronouns (no other details are necessary).
If someone else, you can get teachers to do it, tell the class about your new name and pronouns. Or, if you have friends who would be willing, you can ask them to correct people.
You will find there are two types of people who misgender you.
1. Those who do it accidentally, either because they don't know or forgot. For them, simply inform/remind them. You'll know these people because they apologize and make an effort to get it right in the future.
2. Those who do it on purpose. That is harassment and bullying and needs to be dealt with accordingly. The school has a legal requirement to keep your educational environment free of harassment.
Good luck Grayson. I hope your transition goes smoothly. There's nothing in the world like people seeing the real you.
Title: Re: Coming out in high school
Post by: AndrewB on May 29, 2015, 06:55:08 PM
Post by: AndrewB on May 29, 2015, 06:55:08 PM
Honestly I was kind of amazed by how quickly people at my school got the memo, even if they hadn't been personally informed. I sent out a mass letter on Facebook to let everyone I possibly could know right before Christmas break, I believe, so there was a long period where I wasn't sure what my experience for the rest of the year would be like. Once teachers and friends started calling me Andrew, the confused ones either just shrugged and went along with it or went "'Andrew?' What? Did I miss something?" to which either myself or another, more informed classmate would fill in the blanks as needed. The nice thing is, the less people know you, the easier it is for them to switch over pronouns and names; at least, that's what I've found in my experience.
Good luck, I know it takes a lot of courage, coming out in high school; push through and I'm sure you'll get where you need to be!
EDIT: Also, if you are confident that school administrators, such as a class counselor, will be on your side if you let them know, I highly encourage it. I CC'd my senior counselor and vice principal in the email I sent out to my teachers, and they were sure to let me know that they were here for me. When I asked if I was free to use the gender-confirming bathrooms of my choosing, they were adamant that that was a basic civil right that I was free to take advantage of.
Good luck, I know it takes a lot of courage, coming out in high school; push through and I'm sure you'll get where you need to be!
EDIT: Also, if you are confident that school administrators, such as a class counselor, will be on your side if you let them know, I highly encourage it. I CC'd my senior counselor and vice principal in the email I sent out to my teachers, and they were sure to let me know that they were here for me. When I asked if I was free to use the gender-confirming bathrooms of my choosing, they were adamant that that was a basic civil right that I was free to take advantage of.
Title: Re: Coming out in high school
Post by: Pizzaparty78 on May 30, 2015, 12:29:32 AM
Post by: Pizzaparty78 on May 30, 2015, 12:29:32 AM
Thanks you both for the replies.
We do not have a GSA at my school, unfortunately. Although the people I have told have kinda spread it to our other friends, it has not spread to everyone else. The only thing I'm really worried about is if I were to tell the kids in my PE class, considering the situation with the locker rooms and all. Although I reallllyyy want to tell the people in that class specifically. I do think most people would get it, but some kids may not.
I hope it goes well like it did for you, Andrew. I hope it'll spread around like that and so people will just kinda get it after hearing other people. I havent talked to my counselor yet, I havent found a good time, I was hoping I can ask my gender therapist when I have my fist appointment on the 9th, but that's a bit far away for me.
Thank you both again.
We do not have a GSA at my school, unfortunately. Although the people I have told have kinda spread it to our other friends, it has not spread to everyone else. The only thing I'm really worried about is if I were to tell the kids in my PE class, considering the situation with the locker rooms and all. Although I reallllyyy want to tell the people in that class specifically. I do think most people would get it, but some kids may not.
I hope it goes well like it did for you, Andrew. I hope it'll spread around like that and so people will just kinda get it after hearing other people. I havent talked to my counselor yet, I havent found a good time, I was hoping I can ask my gender therapist when I have my fist appointment on the 9th, but that's a bit far away for me.
Thank you both again.