Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi folks. I'm new.

so I'm trying to get coverage for top surgery in Canada and after waiting 2 years for an appointment, I was told I need to recover from my anorexia before they will approve me for surgery. So into treatment I went. Day treatment, I spend all day in the hospital and go home at night and weekends.

I've been there four weeks, and more and more trans stuff is coming up for me as issues. I know it's a large part of why I turned to anorexia in the first place. But I'm having trouble bringing it up in groups. The other patients are fine, but I feel like the staff has no experience and don't know how to respond to me. Usually, they try and find someone who can relate, and since all the other patients except one is cis-female, they relate a tiny bit and then we move on to their issue. It's frustrating and I'm feeling like my issues aren't being dealt with.

Today I brought it all up to staff and they are going to have a meeting on Monday and let me know what they've decided on Tuesday.

I know this is a random first post, but one of the patients suggested I seek out online communities.

Welcome to Susan's, Rawr!

Sounds like a tough situation, I hope things improve for you soon.

Here's some links to get you started:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Again, welcome!
~Matt

Hi, welcome to Susan's! I'm Alex, nice to meet you (well, not meet... but you know what I mean :P) Yeah looking for online communities is always a good step to take, and the people here are always willing to help :)

I've dealt with pretty bad body image issues as well (most likely related to dysphoria) so I feel where you're coming from. That sort of stuff is so tough to deal with, so kudos for hanging in there. I hope you can get all the help you need, and I hope things get better <3

See you around the site!

Hi Rawr, welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck with the challenges that are ahead of you. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

If you don't mind me asking what provence are you in?

Welcome to Susn's Rawr

Look forward to seeing you about the forums...

L Katy  :-*

Hello and welcome :) .

Well I'd say its a good idea... you might talk a bit here and get some different views and ideas.

Alone writing often helps getting a better view.


hugs

Good for you for seeking out social support and recovery! Stay strong so you can achieve your gender goals! <3

I can relate too, as someone who is also "more than just trans". Most resources are exclusively for one thing or the other, not a combination of conditions. It can be frustrating and isolating. And having to decide which problem to solve first, when multiple problems feed into one another...

And while I'm not anorexic myself, I do have serious trouble eating due to executive functioning and sensory processing issues. I hope you find peace with food.

*You may find a group on Facebook called "Neuroqueer" helpful. It's a private support group for people who are both neurodivergent (autism, PTSD, bipolar, physical disability, etc) and queer (gay, trans, asexual, etc).

But of course this site is very helpful as a transgender-specific resource!  ;D

Welcome.

As another trans guy who is a "recovered" person of an eating disorder, I know how difficult the process can be. It's good that you are trying to find support. Just know you aren't alone. Good luck in your recovery. I hope that they can help you find a better fit for your support needs. Online support groups are certainly a huge help. They helped me a lot in the past.

Thanks everyone for the welcomes.

Synesthetic (Alex) - does your username refer to synesthesia?

Moots - I'm in Ontario.

TayBay - thanks, I'll check out that facebook group.

Everyone else, thank you for your support.

Quote from: Rawr on May 31, 2015, 07:53:28 AM
Synesthetic (Alex) - does your username refer to synesthesia?

yes it does! :D awesome that you picked up on that

Quote from: synesthetic on May 31, 2015, 10:51:09 PM
yes it does! :D awesome that you picked up on that

Ha ha, I have synesthesia - sound/color. :)

Quote from: Rawr on June 01, 2015, 03:13:30 AM
Ha ha, I have synesthesia - sound/color. :)

awesome! that's one of the types I have as well :)

Wow lots to relate with. I also live in Ontario.  I struggled, and still do struggle with eating. Never diagnosed with an ED. But I probably fit the criteria in the past.  Pre-T was the worst, I was terrified of gaining weight and was... below recommended BMI, to be non-specific. I have other mental health issues and was put on medications that made me gain a lot of weight. I'm also very likely to be going inpatient for those other mental health issues soon.
Feel free to PM me if you like.

I'm also synesthetic.  :) Mostly letters/numbers to color.

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

Anorexia is a hard thing to deal with when you are a guy. For the most part, it is thought of as something that afflicts females, and that makes it hard for guys to accept in themselves. The truth is, there are plenty of guys who are anorexic but don't talk about it.

I don't need to tell you its a problem related to control issues. When you feel you are in the wrong body, and everyone else has the reins when it comes to when you can have each step done, thats one heck of a big control issue. For every year you are anorexic, it takes a year for the body to recover fully. That doesn't mean you can't start a transition until those years have passed.

Transitioning, even the introduction of HRT, is stressful for the body. Without nutrients, the body can't heal. You will get much better results once you can start allowing calories to come in. I know its hard to see the scale change, even half a pound, when you have an eating disorder. If you can concentrate on the goal of starting your transition, it may be easier.

I had an ED when I was younger. 11 years of hell. I still remember how awful I felt physically and how ashamed I felt psychologically. If I would improve for a couple days, I would dream that I had blown it. My whole daily schedule was based on it. Its a hard thing to get over, but once you do, you never want to go back. That said, for some people, its something they have to fight their whole lives. That doesn't mean that they have an ED their whole life, just that they think about it when stressful events come up.

Being a transgender can make you vulnerable to all kinds of psychiatric disorders. It doesn't mean you are weak. Lets face it, you have to deal with social changes, other people's reactions, finding someone who will accept you for the gender you identify with etc. etc. That is a whole lot of stress to put on one person. Its no surprise that secondary psychiatric conditions can pop up. Mainly they are protective devices that have gone too far.

It sounds like you really need to talk to one of the therapists alone and voice your concerns as to how others are reacting to you. Its hard not to be supersensitive to how others seem to treat you. They may be afraid of saying the wrong thing or possibly have never known of anyone who was a transgender. You are in a position to teach others about the problems transgenders face, and how others make them feel. Trying to help them understand may help you.

Don't be ashamed or trying to survive. The fact that you became anorexic does not make you any less a guy.

sam1234