Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My stepdad is a seriously awful person. A drunk, a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, and a transphobe. When I lost my house last year, the reason I chose to tough it out on the streets (until I broke my wrist), was because of him. Last fall when my mom tried to kill herself, was because of the way he acts towards me.

He says the meanest things to me, threatens to throw away my belongings (and has!), has thrown away things that are sentimental to my mom and me. A couple of weeks ago, I got kicked out of the house one night, because my toilet was dirty. It was cold out, and I was barefoot.

I hate him so much. He's been nothing but mean to me since I was a small child. I wish he would drink himself to death. (There's seriously a second refrigerator in the house dedicated to beer, and that doesn't include the four glasses of straight whiskey he drinks every night.)

I just started a job, a great job, five minutes from here. I make good money, but not enough to move out. Besides, coming from having nothing, I'd like to save up some money, proceed with transition stuff, and pay past-due medical bills. So for now, I basically have no choice but to put up with this abuse. I hate this. I wish my life was better.

Hugs, MP. Please protect yourself, emotionally and physically.

If he takes your property, he is stealing. You can pursue legal avenues if you find he has taken your possessions. Most places have laws against kicking someone out of the house (even if they are not paying rent) without going through an eviction procedure. It might not hurt to find out what your legal rights and remedies are.

There are domestic violence organizations nearly everywhere. I bet there is one near you. I wonder if they have programs that can help you protect yourself. You are being abused.

I have nothing to add really beyond what Suzi has already said. I agree you need to protect yourself in every way including emotionally. Big hugs
Mariah

You have my complete sympathy.  My dad was never a drinker or a yeller.  He was more of a creepo stalker type, with a jealous streak a mile wide.  His technique was to approach all friendly, learn all your secrets and vulnerabilities, then use them to kick the pins out from under whatever you were trying to do if it looked like something you might actually enjoy. 

You will get away from your stepfather sooner or later.  Until then, hang on to your sense of yourself, and don't let him get under your skin the way my father did with me.  You are not alone in this.  Have faith.  Things will get better. 

this will pass my friend.  use it as a learning tool to help cope with crap like this..  talk with your mom, would she consider moving out with you to start over for both of you?  she could be your best allie if so;)  dont bring this up unless you know its a possibility.  file for state assistance now, so until it comes through, you have a place..  wish you luck!

I know this will not help your situation but it can give you a perspective.

Look where you were this time last year.  Last year you were homeless and eating out of a trash can in a pizza parlor.

Now you have a job and making money and looking to move forward.

Your step father is going to be gone or you will move out some day. Until then keep out of his way. I know how an abusive alcoholic father can be. Buy him some alcohol as a gift and keep on his good side.

I am sorry you are in this situation.

My late stepfather-in-law that was known to all as "->-bleeped-<-" (seriously, that's what we called him) was exactly like that.  A raging drunk, racist, sexist, homophobe, idiot who was violent and unfaithful.  When I had to live with him for a few months in '92/'93, I ended up messing with him a lot.  I'd move his things, put superglue in his car door locks, pop holes in his laundry, drink his scotch and might have even pissed in his drink once.  My wife wanted him dead for wrecking her childhood, but there was just no good way to make it look like an accident (sarcasm, folks...).  After we got away, my mother-in-law tried many times to get rid of him, but he always weaseled his way back in (yes, like a true salesman).  Finally, one day he dropped dead of a massive heart attack at the age of 59. 

Nobody cared.  Even his daughters thought he was a rat bastard.

Hopefully this guy gets his karmic reward soon as well.

Yes, whatever you do, don't mess with him. (wink, wink)

I'm really sorry you are in this situation.  Try to hang in there and build your funds out until you can move out.  While you are doing that, I suggest looking units storage units you could rent out so you don't have to deal with him throwing away anything you may have.  You will get through this. *hugs*

((hugs))

I'm so sorry. you don't deserve to be mistreated like that.
hang in there, friend.
you've got the support/love of everyone on here.

all I can add is be strong and get away as soon as possible. I had a brother in law like that.