Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Did you change your name before you actually "became" the opposite gender you were born or wait until you go all your surgery done?

My surgery isn't don't yet and my name was changed shortly after going full time and everyone had been notified of the new name before was officially legal too. Hugs
Mariah

I submitted my paperwork in February and it came back in March. This was 6 months after coming out, 2 months after starting hormones, and 2 months before top surgery.

I've not changed mine yet. I have told others of my preferred name but i haven't come out to my parents yet. I feel like there are other things i need to do before i do the legal runaround.

I was done with the obligatory therapy part of transition when I got the paper from the doctor siding with my name change back in 2012. I hadn't even started T yet at that point nor did I had any surgeries done.

Quote from: Jake25 on June 01, 2015, 01:45:49 AM
Did you change your name before you actually "became" the opposite gender you were born or wait until you go all your surgery done?

Well, I "became" a woman long before I had my surgery.

I got mine started a few weeks after I went full-time. I wanted to wait just a few weeks in case I'd made a horrible mistake.

About a month before starting hormones, which was about 6 weeks before going full time and 7 weeks before transitioning at work. It was a busy few weeks.

So it seems most of you have changed your name early on in the process. My surgeries and hormones might take longer and be spaced out because I'm financially limited.

I changed mine and that was my final "go" signal for full time. I'd come out to HR, and they were willing to work with me, but here in crazy Texas me being 100% legal gave them a lot more coverage than me just presenting but still carrying male ID. That was nearly a year ago and my gender surgery will be in July. I had FFS in April.

I, too, got my name change done early into my transition. I think I was about 2.5 months out to myself and parents, 1.5 months out to friends, and a month on testosterone. No (trans) surgeries to date, but I'm progressing toward top currently. I changed my gender through the courts just a few weeks ago.

Quote from: BenKenobi on June 01, 2015, 05:46:49 AM
I've not changed mine yet. I have told others of my preferred name but i haven't come out to my parents yet. I feel like there are other things i need to do before i do the legal runaround.

this is about where I am as well

 :-\  I want to ... don't have the money  >:(

In Ca I've met the criteria to change name and gender for almost 2 years now.

My legal name and gender update was done one month before going full time.  Having it done before going full time is a huge help.

Tiffanie, if you are in California you can get the fees waived if your income is low enough.

I changed mine when I came out publicly. There was a sense of killing the guy in me which I liked. Of course, I had much further to go with many trials and tribulations. I look back on that and think of it as the "beginning of my transition" even though I had learned to pass well before that and had my face cleared two or three times by then.

Surgery had nothing to do with whether I was done transitioning; I had surgery (once and final) a couple of years after I was officially done by my own standards, and after I'd been living as a woman for ~3 years.

That said, I waited until about 18 months after I started transitioning - and that was also six months after I was done, because it took me about a year to transition fully - to change my name, for unrelated legal reasons that held everything up. I waited to do the gender marker until I'd gotten the name change, too, so that I could basically deal with all the places that needed changing only once.

Yes, that means I lived as a woman with a male name and gender marker for a good six months at least, and it sucked.

I didn't change my legal name until I'd been living as Felix at least part time for 2 or 3 years. I have a kid and I had various professional licenses and academic stuff so I dragged my feet. I did have some problems because of the mismatch, and at least once I felt unsafe when an angry cop from the suburbs was uncomfortable with my gender presentation and how it didn't make sense to him.

I'm read as male fully now and I have both my name and my legal sex changed by court order, but because I was born in a state that only does amendments and my daughter was born in a state that won't recognize parent name changes, I tend to be known by my female name at least half as often as my male name. Plus when anyone does a background check or looks at any part of my paper trail they learn my old name. I'm sure younger people might be able to walk away clean(er), but the main benefit to changing my legal name was just being allowed to use my real name on paperwork and not having to use the girl name anymore.

Quote from: jessical on June 01, 2015, 06:43:05 PM
Tiffanie, if you are in California you can get the fees waived if your income is low enough.

My income is too low to afford living here but not nearly low enough to qualify for any assistance ... I'll make it eventually.  Thanks

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 01, 2015, 07:22:57 PM
that means I lived as a woman with a male name and gender marker for a good six months at least, and it sucked.

Yes it does.  I'm full time 18+ months.  I was going to change it last year but hit some issues.  This was the year until we hit multiple financial issues in a one month period.

I'm glad that you have all shared your stories with me. I like to feel not alone.

Right before I graduated college (7 months on T). I was out to some friends and family in town. I had told the department head and the senior capstone teacher in February because my team had to present at a conference. I came out to most people I know after top surgery a month after graduation. I would advise changing it when you are in the androgynous zone of transition. However, if you have the money and resources you could do it earlier. I would just worry about your job stuff as they need your name to write the check to and other HR stuff.

When I changed my name, I had been on HRT for 4 months, couldn't handle identifying as him any longer, and made it official.

At the time, I wanted to have surgery sometime but not sure if it would happen or not.   It finally happened, nearly two years later.

From the people I know, that's a fairly typical timeline.

I changed my name and all my documents after I relised I was living full time. Then before my first visit to a regular Dr's appointment, at the start of the year. That way I started the year with them all fresh as me :D

I did the legal change after i had been out for a year.  I wanted to feel comfortable and that year gave me greater sense of confidence for my decision.  I also lived with the hassles of a mismatched presentation and ID cards that made travel and other daily interactions like using a credit card uncomfortable. 

I had practically lived full-time for months when I changed my name legally, and I changed it mainly because I felt it was time to come out to "everyone" (I was already out to close friends and immediate family), and I had planned on doing both at roughly the same time. If some people resisted the change, I would have the added argument that the new name actually is my name, look, it's on my passport... Now I'm not sure it would have changed their minds, but thankfully I have yet to meet anyone who insists on the old name.

Additionally, I had experienced an increasing amount of awkward situations when store clerks and so on needed my name or ID, and I stopped using my first name and pronouns at all in social settings. Obviously, being name- and pronoun-less is impractical and (at least in my case) self-erasing. So after a while, my psychologist hinted that perhaps changing my name would make things easier for me. Also, a female friend who I met in November told me she had always read me as a woman, and agreed with my psychologist that changing my name was a good idea. My parents also acknowledged this, after seeing me just weeks before. So basically I trusted them and went ahead with the name change. The legal change was approved within a week, and then a week later I dropped the bomb on Facebook, after my dad had informed my extended family.

So for me, I changed it at the point of coming out, but at that point I was also full-time; I didn't have a single male piece of clothing in my wardrobe. Additionally, I was at a point where my old name was not only a source of dysphoria, but of practical inconvenience, and where a female name would make things easier practically as well as emotionally.

I'm just now changing mine, about 2 years into transitioning. I'm changing both first and last names, and I wanted to be certain the new name was the right one. I've also been waiting to get the $$ together -- it's not just the court fees, but all the other stuff: certified copies of the court order, driver's license fees, passport -- it gets expensive when you're older and have a lot of history to fix.

Also, what finally pushed me into it is that I'm read as male 100% of the time now, and it's just too friggin' awkward when I have to produce a credit card or other ID, when I go to the pharmacy, etc. People assume <female name> is someone else, and it gets weird. Even the district court clerk did that when I filed the name change application -- she of all people might've figured it out...  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ftongue.gif&hash=635dd8fbd198d13e75e7b21e12e5f405e686d654)

Good topic!

Like a couple of the other girls posted, still not out to everyone yet so not worried about this just yet. Plus there is the fact that I just can't seem to find a name that works in all ways like I want. Maybe after I come out to my mom I'll get her to help me with it (already know she's gonna be fine I'm just taking baby steps here so my foundation is solid as I Transition). We could totally have a ball with it.

I've also seriously considered going with the female version of my older brothers name, because all my life my parents always called me his name by accident and had to correct themselves. The way I see it, now the mistake becomes accurate as a nickname/shortened version of my name. Then I think how practical it sounds, then it sounds just odd to do that.

I dunno! Rambling away here..

At about 5 months full time, pre hormones, and a lackluster job, I paid the insanely high fees to get my name changed. It was the first thing I did in my transition, and has helped "smooth" things along with the other agencies and doctors. Though is it a new thing where my "old" name is confidential? They told me when filing, that my old name would be expunged from my record, so that when someone looked through records, they'd only see my changed name. I'm not sure, and I'm confused a bit, I'd test that theory out but how would I know the old name is truly gone?

Quote from: Tysilio on June 03, 2015, 12:28:33 AM
I'm just now changing mine, about 2 years into transitioning. I'm changing both first and last names, and I wanted to be certain the new name was the right one. I've also been waiting to get the $$ together -- it's not just the court fees, but all the other stuff: certified copies of the court order, driver's license fees, passport -- it gets expensive when you're older and have a lot of history to fix.

Also, what finally pushed me into it is that I'm read as male 100% of the time now, and it's just too friggin' awkward when I have to produce a credit card or other ID, when I go to the pharmacy, etc. People assume <female name> is someone else, and it gets weird. Even the district court clerk did that when I filed the name change application -- she of all people might've figured it out...  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ftongue.gif&hash=635dd8fbd198d13e75e7b21e12e5f405e686d654)

That's a good looking guy as your avatar. Is it you?

By my next endo appointment I'll have been on HRT for nearly a year. I'll be asking for letters then to change my gender marker. I won't be changing my name. "Dion" works equally well for either. That will be August and I'll be changing everything except my birth certificate. My home state requires SRS and I think an act of Congress to change that. May hold off on filing the paperwork. I need my passport for early October, my driver's license should match and I'm not sure there's enough time for both to be returned in only six weeks.

Quote from: Jake25 on June 03, 2015, 01:57:37 PM

That's a good looking guy as your avatar. Is it you?

I was thinking of clicking glasses in a toast to our Tysilio for his success.  But you know how busy those movie stars get ;)

Quote from: Jake25 on June 03, 2015, 01:57:37 PM

That's a good looking guy as your avatar. Is it you?

That would be Sir Sean Connery, famed Bond actor ;)

Quote from: AndrewB on June 03, 2015, 02:44:35 PM
That would be Sir Sean Connery, famed Bond actor ;)

I'm embarrassed.. I didn't know of that actor.

Neither. I changed my name about twelve years before I decided to pursue transition.

I haven't changed mine yet. I may change it in a few months. I will likely have a new name by the time I'm 1 year on hormones.

The reason I've delayed is because of travel plans. The other reason is that I wanted to try on a few before I change.

Quote from: Dee Marshall on June 03, 2015, 02:06:35 PM
By my next endo appointment I'll have been on HRT for nearly a year. I'll be asking for letters then to change my gender marker. I won't be changing my name. "Dion" works equally well for either. That will be August and I'll be changing everything except my birth certificate. My home state requires SRS and I think an act of Congress to change that. May hold off on filing the paperwork. I need my passport for early October, my driver's license should match and I'm not sure there's enough time for both to be returned in only six weeks.

I was thinking of avoiding changing my name. "Ryan" is a name that girls use now. But admittedly it is not as feminine as I would like it to be.

I am hoping to have my changed this summer. I have all the paperwork in order, it is just the matter of filling and paying the fee. I am sure I will have it changed before I start living full-time, but I am so close to full-time I can almost taste it. I dont know why I keep holding back, I just do. I think it is because I do not have a very wide wardrobe selection, atm, but also hope to change that over this summer.

Melitta.

I started the paperwork last week, approx. 6 wks. after coming out a little over 2 mos. on 'mones. Planning surgery early in '16 and wanted to get all of this behind me, before I make the long trip to Thailand.

Darn it, Tessa and Andrew -- you outed me!  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ftongue.gif&hash=635dd8fbd198d13e75e7b21e12e5f405e686d654)

Quote from: Tysilio on June 03, 2015, 05:30:32 PM
Darn it, Tessa and Andrew -- you outed me!  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ftongue.gif&hash=635dd8fbd198d13e75e7b21e12e5f405e686d654)

You must be rather . . . shaken.

And not stirred...

I did my legal name change 18 months after my first dose of E.  I tried to get the ball rolling a year before that, but between my endo losing my paperwork twice and holding it up and the 6 month wait for a court date, I had to do it a week after my orchi.  It was weird having to do that under a male legal name.

Quote from: Arch
You must be rather . . . shaken.

Quote from: Jill FAnd not stirred...

But I am always very dry.

I have a minimum of 4 years before I'd be able to change my name. On the sheer fact of the military. I conclude 4 years due to keeping my benefits, and not having to pay a dime back of the bonus I got from resigning a contract. It's that or the protections happen, and dependant of so is when I would get the name change done.

Of course unofficially I can always be Kate, but by documentation, I will remain male named.

Kate

I did mine as soon as I was able to afford it, which was about 2 years after I came out..

Quote from: Tysilio on June 03, 2015, 10:58:08 PM
But I am always very dry. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fcool.gif&hash=d4879c0267a356dff26cd86b0fa87ea42a6199e1)

Still lmao.  its a generational thing, boomers!!  One of the most important characteristics of this site is the diversity of generations, culture and more. Thank you!

It was the very first thing I did (years before identifying as trans). I socially changed right after high school and legally changed it 6 years later. The name is gender-neutral (I'm agender) but it started from a male name and the female version felt quite wrong.

Quote from: Tessa James
Still lmao.  its a generational thing, boomers!!  One of the most important characteristics of this site is the diversity of generations, culture and more. Thank you!

You betcha. Power to the grownups! 

i put in the paperwork the first opportunity i could after starting hormones.  theres a bit of a wait in most areas for the court date. ~10 weeks here right now.  and once you get the court orders you dont have to go immediately to change it.   so ill get the court papers.  then when i move in a few months ill deal with the id and gender.

I went full time in September 2014, starteed hormones October 2014, submitted name change January 2015 and it was granted February 2015

I changed my name early on for two reasons. I was obsessed with transitioning, but I was terrified to even try because of all the roadblocks. This was the mid-nineties; things were actually quite different. I also was afraid to lose my partner. So the name change was my way of asserting my true self.

The second reason was that I was due to graduate from college about a year later, and I wanted to make absolutely sure that my diploma didn't have my old name on it. I didn't want any paperwork snarls down the road.

I'm not going to do any legal chages till I have FFS. To have my old face on my license that says the F gender marker would be pointless and meaningless.