Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Of course one big thing that comes into play for passing is mannerisms, how do I learn the mannerisms of the opposite gender? Is it possible to do so? Or are there people who specialize in teaching this kind of stuff?

Hi - this is an interesting question.  I have spoken to a few people about the issues relating to helping transgender people acquire more mannerisms of their desired gender. 

Fundamentally, I believe it's a question of whether the person sees a need.  I have met quite a few people who don't feel that they need to change mannerisms at all, despite something of a contrast between how they look and act.

In the past there used to be such things as comportment and deportment schools, or finishing schools, for young ladies.  I really don't know much about these, but a quick internet search suggests there's still a market for them.

An alternative is to work on these with an acting teacher.

In my experience, some of the change of mannerisms are automatic once you are living in your new gender role.  You effectively give yourself permission to change and sometimes this just happens as you release the real person.  I'd also say that simply watching how people act and speak is often useful, either in public or from TV And radio.  There's also nothing wrong with learning from some great (female) screen icons who projected an astounding femininity.

Like a lot of things, if you work at it you will get better at it, and it will become second nature.

Hugs
Julia

I'm sure there are people but by and large the only other way to do it is to look, listen and learn. Watch women just going about their day to day business and pay attention to what they say, what they do and how they do it, when is it different, etc. Of course, by "watch" I mean be as casual about it as possible... you don't want anyone thinking that you're stalking them!! I would usually just sit in a cafe and check out what went on around me, I learned quite a lot!

In my opinion those help:
-feel it. Just feel it naturally, be more relaxed, soft, yourself... and all will kind of flow.

-don't overdo it . Same with makeup, overdone it might be too much.

-men tend to walk with their shoulders moved forward, women with their feet/hips.
Women tend to set their steps a bit closer together, almost as if they walk a line. Men tend to just move their feet forward.

Women tend to hold their arms a bit closer to their bodies.


hugs

I have heard of coaches somewhere, but can't recall...

Anyway I'm a believer of watching, observing and listening too, and trying to find a midway point... If you try too hard it looks totally force. Just relax...

Fully agree with Laura on walking and the makeup... its got to be applied sparingly

L Katy  :-*

I'm also a firm believer of the watch, listen, and learn strategy. The others can help, but much can be learned just by causally observing. Hugs
Mariah

I'm definitely going to need  help in this area because i probably have Asperger's to some degree, which makes things like social cues very difficult to deal with.

Don't know if I'm about to do a ToS violation, but I'll hope not.
Deep Stealth productions has videos on deportment and mannerisms and walking.

Melanie Speaks was available; I don't know if it's still produced.  The points were, speaking in different ways to sound like a woman, or to sound female. Not just the tone or pitch, but HOW things were said: breathiness in the speaking, word choice, raising the pitch at the end of a sentence...?  (Like you're asking a question, even if you're making a statement.) Also, women don't ORDER people around; they ASK. Instead of TELLING the man what you want, Ask him to do "X". And let him figure it out. 

Also, youTube has a LOT of tutorials, CandiFLA I think was one - on how to do all sorts of things, from speaking like a woman, to developing the ability to walk like a woman, to being natural as a woman...  google, and follow linked videos.  ;-)

And of course, people-watching is a great pass-time. See the variations in how men and women interact by sitting at a coffeehouse and just watching people go by.  Eavesdrop when you can. and copy mannerisms, maybe even exaggerating them until they become sort of second-nature to you. 

I'm trying to work to a point where I'll be read as "female" while in male drab. I'm getting a late start and have a lot of issues with it, but that's become my plan.  ;-) 

It's not the clothes, it's not the boobs, it's not even much how you walk...  Beard, Voice, and mannerisms while talking get you clocked. then, maybe, how you walk. Then, maybe, body size. ("My Giant Life" comes to mind.)
I strike out on everything right now, been wearing a mask for decades.  ;-)  We'll see how I can undo the damage.