Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 01:01:18 PM Return to Full Version
Title: living stealth
Post by: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 01:01:18 PM
Post by: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 01:01:18 PM
is anyone here currently living stealth? Eventually thats my goal. I'm really a private person and since I came out at work (over 900 people work here), its been like a circus for me. I want to get to a point in my life where I am seen as a man first and my past life is forgotten. Is that wrong?
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: HexenPixi on June 05, 2015, 02:17:18 PM
Post by: HexenPixi on June 05, 2015, 02:17:18 PM
I kind of am for the most part. I present really punky/androgynous and "pass" as an andro lesbian for the most part, but every now and then, some people notice that I'm not cis. I used to get upset about that, but now I'm okay with it.
I can understand where you are coming from as far as being "out" and the way people react. I work at an LGBT center, so everyone knows about my past, and I feel like people have the tendency to sensationalize our lives, or the fact that our bodies are "different."
I don't think it's wrong at all to want to be stealth. We all have our reasons. Maybe for safety, maybe because we don't want to be "third-gendered," or maybe it just makes you more comfortable that way.
For me, I'm a girl, and I don't see the need of putting a "T" before that. I'm not in denial that my body is different, and I certainly don't look down upon those that DO want to be open about it.
So, if you want to be stealth, there's no shame in it. :)
I can understand where you are coming from as far as being "out" and the way people react. I work at an LGBT center, so everyone knows about my past, and I feel like people have the tendency to sensationalize our lives, or the fact that our bodies are "different."
I don't think it's wrong at all to want to be stealth. We all have our reasons. Maybe for safety, maybe because we don't want to be "third-gendered," or maybe it just makes you more comfortable that way.
For me, I'm a girl, and I don't see the need of putting a "T" before that. I'm not in denial that my body is different, and I certainly don't look down upon those that DO want to be open about it.
So, if you want to be stealth, there's no shame in it. :)
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: saharo on June 05, 2015, 02:18:19 PM
Post by: saharo on June 05, 2015, 02:18:19 PM
i dont know actually.... trans is a phase.... i wouldn't tell the whole word, if they ak me, i would just say the truth, if not, i will just keep it to myself i guess...
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: Devlyn on June 05, 2015, 02:30:43 PM
Post by: Devlyn on June 05, 2015, 02:30:43 PM
Quote from: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 01:01:18 PM
is anyone here currently living stealth? Eventually thats my goal. I'm really a private person and since I came out at work (over 900 people work here), its been like a circus for me. I want to get to a point in my life where I am seen as a man first and my past life is forgotten. Is that wrong?
Nothing wrong with that at all.
Quote from: saharo on June 05, 2015, 02:18:19 PM
i dont know actually.... trans is a phase.... i wouldn't tell the whole word, if they ak me, i would just say the truth, if not, i will just keep it to myself i guess...
It's a phase for people who are transitioning, but not for other transgender folks. I'm non-binary and will be forever.
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: Katiepie on June 05, 2015, 02:46:32 PM
Post by: Katiepie on June 05, 2015, 02:46:32 PM
I do want to eventually go stealth. And the only ones to ever know would be my family, my ex wife's family, the friends I have at work, well this one I currently work at (and those who I've talked to at my previous one before transfer to where I am), at the moment. But then to live my life as to what would be normal every day girl.
Kateā„
Kateā„
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: DrummerGirl on June 05, 2015, 03:31:28 PM
Post by: DrummerGirl on June 05, 2015, 03:31:28 PM
I'm pretty much living stealth right now. The only ones that know of any importance are my family, some close friends, and some others that have to know like my doctor, therapist, and hair removal technician. Besides that, there are some people in the transgender community that know. To everyone else, I'm simply a woman.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being stealth. I don't even really like using the term because it suggests that I'm hiding something, when in reality I'm just being myself, and "myself" is a woman. That's how I want to be seen and that's how everyone sees me so it works out. :) If someone asked, I would tell them, but no one ever asks. Some other transgender people used to make me feel guilty about not being more openly transgender, but I've found that there's room for all types of people to help the transgender community and now I'm comfortable in the things I do to give back. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life. If living stealth will make you happy, then go for it!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being stealth. I don't even really like using the term because it suggests that I'm hiding something, when in reality I'm just being myself, and "myself" is a woman. That's how I want to be seen and that's how everyone sees me so it works out. :) If someone asked, I would tell them, but no one ever asks. Some other transgender people used to make me feel guilty about not being more openly transgender, but I've found that there's room for all types of people to help the transgender community and now I'm comfortable in the things I do to give back. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life. If living stealth will make you happy, then go for it!
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: iKate on June 05, 2015, 03:41:23 PM
Post by: iKate on June 05, 2015, 03:41:23 PM
My goal is stealth and out on a need to know basis. Family and close friends know. Work knows but I will likely change jobs post GRS
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 04:34:42 PM
Post by: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 04:34:42 PM
DrummerGirl, I just wanted to say that you are beautiful :embarrassed:
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: DrummerGirl on June 05, 2015, 04:58:57 PM
Post by: DrummerGirl on June 05, 2015, 04:58:57 PM
Quote from: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 04:34:42 PM
DrummerGirl, I just wanted to say that you are beautiful :embarrassed:
Awwww...thank you!!!! :)
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: Jake25 on June 08, 2015, 02:02:48 AM
Post by: Jake25 on June 08, 2015, 02:02:48 AM
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 05, 2015, 02:30:43 PM
Nothing wrong with that at all.
It's a phase for people who are transitioning, but not for other transgender folks. I'm non-binary and will be forever.
May I ask exactly what does that mean, non binary? Does that mean the person is more gender fluid or gender queer and binary is either male or female identity?
Title: Re: living stealth
Post by: suzifrommd on June 08, 2015, 04:53:01 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on June 08, 2015, 04:53:01 AM
Quote from: Jake25 on June 08, 2015, 02:02:48 AM
May I ask exactly what does that mean, non binary? Does that mean the person is more gender fluid or gender queer and binary is either male or female identity?
Non-binary means not identifying completely male or completely female. There are many ways people can be non-binary, including being gender fluid, agender (not having any gender at all), neutrois (a member of some third gender that is neither male nor female), bigender (having both male and female identity) or some other experience that defies labeling.
I consider myself non-binary. I'm living (happily) as a woman, but internally I still see myself as partly male, though I confess that I don't know exactly what that means.