Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 06:17:16 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 06:17:16 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 06:17:16 PM
A step in the right direction
I finally got the courage to go in the womens restroom. I did ask before hand of the charity that i sometimes eat a meal at St.Anthony's what the policy was on bathrooms. I told them im sick of using the mens room and that i would feel more comfortable in the womens. The lady who was staff said its 100% ok and smiled and said "we don't have that sort of problem here" and I went in!
And no other ladies said anything! It was 4 stalls only and small but I was ok. I went in there to fix my bra as I was having problems was able to get a stall. One small step!
Now hopefully I can just go in restrooms like i belong there (because i do) without having to worry about asking.
I finally got the courage to go in the womens restroom. I did ask before hand of the charity that i sometimes eat a meal at St.Anthony's what the policy was on bathrooms. I told them im sick of using the mens room and that i would feel more comfortable in the womens. The lady who was staff said its 100% ok and smiled and said "we don't have that sort of problem here" and I went in!
And no other ladies said anything! It was 4 stalls only and small but I was ok. I went in there to fix my bra as I was having problems was able to get a stall. One small step!
Now hopefully I can just go in restrooms like i belong there (because i do) without having to worry about asking.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Mariah on June 23, 2015, 06:27:51 PM
Post by: Mariah on June 23, 2015, 06:27:51 PM
Congrats. You shouldn't have an issue doing so without asking. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Lady_Oracle on June 23, 2015, 06:34:51 PM
Post by: Lady_Oracle on June 23, 2015, 06:34:51 PM
Yay that's awesome! ;D
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 08:18:38 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 08:18:38 PM
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on June 23, 2015, 06:34:51 PM
Yay that's awesome! ;D
***I was super afraid before*** I felt like if i went in I would get in serious trouble for some reason. I guess that's my upbringing talking about not going in there as a boy, ingraved in my brain.
Now I am sure that I could run into rude women in there who have a major issue with me but I can hope for the best.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 08:19:06 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 08:19:06 PM
Quote from: Mariah2014 on June 23, 2015, 06:27:51 PM
Congrats. You shouldn't have an issue doing so without asking. Hugs
Mariah
I am glad about that
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Jessica Merriman on June 23, 2015, 09:24:53 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on June 23, 2015, 09:24:53 PM
I saw the title of this topic and thought OMG, Glad I was not in there for that! ;D *giggles*
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: KimSails on June 23, 2015, 09:55:26 PM
Post by: KimSails on June 23, 2015, 09:55:26 PM
Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on June 23, 2015, 06:17:16 PM
A step in the right direction
I finally got the courage to go in the womens restroom. I did ask before hand of the charity that i sometimes eat a meal at St.Anthony's what the policy was on bathrooms. I told them im sick of using the mens room and that i would feel more comfortable in the womens. The lady who was staff said its 100% ok and smiled and said "we don't have that sort of problem here" and I went in!
And no other ladies said anything! It was 4 stalls only and small but I was ok. I went in there to fix my bra as I was having problems was able to get a stall. One small step!
Now hopefully I can just go in restrooms like i belong there (because i do) without having to worry about asking.
Congratulations Shawn Sunshine! It is a wonderful milestone to remember!
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 23, 2015, 09:24:53 PM
I saw the title of this topic and thought OMG, Glad I was not in there for that! ;D *giggles*
Lol Jessica! It took me a minute, but I got it! ;D
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: michelle82 on June 24, 2015, 01:07:24 AM
Post by: michelle82 on June 24, 2015, 01:07:24 AM
yay, it gets easier from here. and don't ask! you have a right to be there!
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 01:12:40 AM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 01:12:40 AM
Quote from: KimSails on June 23, 2015, 09:55:26 PM
Congratulations Shawn Sunshine! It is a wonderful milestone to remember!
That thought had crossed my mind when I made the title. #mischievous grin#
Lol Jessica! It took me a minute, but I got it! ;D
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Zoetrope on June 24, 2015, 01:13:18 AM
Post by: Zoetrope on June 24, 2015, 01:13:18 AM
I still have trouble getting into the bathroom at work. But it's because my metrosexual male colleagues spend so long doing their hair each morning ... :~o
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: KristinaM on June 24, 2015, 08:04:54 AM
Post by: KristinaM on June 24, 2015, 08:04:54 AM
Congratz! I hope you continue to have the courage to use the restroom of the gender you identify as. :P
I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I used the ladies room for the first time on Monday myself! It was after visiting my therapist, so I used the one downstairs in her building. This was the first time I visited my therapist en femme (changed in the car, then changed back before heading back to work), so I figured I'd give it a shot. There was another lady in the stall next to me who left before I was finished so I never had to worry about making contact, but one small step down...
I actually haven't been in the men's room at that building so I can't compare, but the stalls seemed to be freakishly small... Anybody over about 5'10" or weighing 180+ pounds would have trouble getting in there! Is it normal for women's stalls to be smaller than men's?
I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I used the ladies room for the first time on Monday myself! It was after visiting my therapist, so I used the one downstairs in her building. This was the first time I visited my therapist en femme (changed in the car, then changed back before heading back to work), so I figured I'd give it a shot. There was another lady in the stall next to me who left before I was finished so I never had to worry about making contact, but one small step down...
I actually haven't been in the men's room at that building so I can't compare, but the stalls seemed to be freakishly small... Anybody over about 5'10" or weighing 180+ pounds would have trouble getting in there! Is it normal for women's stalls to be smaller than men's?
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Mariah on June 24, 2015, 08:06:43 AM
Post by: Mariah on June 24, 2015, 08:06:43 AM
It tends to be the case. It's not something I have given any thought to, but your right they are smaller. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Quote from: Tristan on June 24, 2015, 08:04:54 AM
Congratz! I hope you continue to have the courage to use the restroom of the gender you identify as. :P
I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I used the ladies room for the first time on Monday myself! It was after visiting my therapist, so I used the one downstairs in her building. This was the first time I visited my therapist en femme (changed in the car, then changed back before heading back to work), so I figured I'd give it a shot. There was another lady in the stall next to me who left before I was finished so I never had to worry about making contact, but one small step down...
I actually haven't been in the men's room at that building so I can't compare, but the stalls seemed to be freakishly small... Anybody over about 5'10" or weighing 180+ pounds would have trouble getting in there! Is it normal for women's stalls to be smaller than men's?
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Sydney_NYC on June 24, 2015, 09:37:38 AM
Post by: Sydney_NYC on June 24, 2015, 09:37:38 AM
Quote from: Tristan on June 24, 2015, 08:04:54 AM
Congratz! I hope you continue to have the courage to use the restroom of the gender you identify as. :P
I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I used the ladies room for the first time on Monday myself! It was after visiting my therapist, so I used the one downstairs in her building. This was the first time I visited my therapist en femme (changed in the car, then changed back before heading back to work), so I figured I'd give it a shot. There was another lady in the stall next to me who left before I was finished so I never had to worry about making contact, but one small step down...
I actually haven't been in the men's room at that building so I can't compare, but the stalls seemed to be freakishly small... Anybody over about 5'10" or weighing 180+ pounds would have trouble getting in there! Is it normal for women's stalls to be smaller than men's?
Congratulations!!!!
I've been in both the mens room (not in 15 months) and women's room in many of the same places and the stalls are usually the same size in both. One that surprised me was one of my clients is in a multiple tenant, 4 floor office building where the mens room on each floor had two urinals and 3 stalls and the women's room was half the size with just two stalls. Usually the women's room the same size or even a little bigger than the mens. Some of the ones in department stores and churches (like the Synagogue where our local PFLAG meeting is held) have lounges in them.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 11:11:36 AM
Post by: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 11:11:36 AM
This is a situation i will be in tomorrow first day at work fem 7 hours definitely going to be a need in there at some point.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: iKate on June 24, 2015, 11:32:59 AM
Post by: iKate on June 24, 2015, 11:32:59 AM
Congrats!
Bathrooms you just do it. You belong there. Act like it. That's all.
I've gone into women's restrooms on days when I used to constantly get "sir" and nobody seemed to even notice me. Even here in Korea nobody has challenged me. If you're even looking a little bit fem they're going to give you the benefit of the doubt. In some places you have ignorant people but that is not everywhere.
Bathrooms you just do it. You belong there. Act like it. That's all.
I've gone into women's restrooms on days when I used to constantly get "sir" and nobody seemed to even notice me. Even here in Korea nobody has challenged me. If you're even looking a little bit fem they're going to give you the benefit of the doubt. In some places you have ignorant people but that is not everywhere.
Title: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: iKate on June 24, 2015, 11:35:05 AM
Post by: iKate on June 24, 2015, 11:35:05 AM
Quote from: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 11:11:36 AM
This is a situation i will be in tomorrow first day at work fem 7 hours definitely going to be a need in there at some point.
The first time I officially used the ladies at work one of my colleagues who came in and saw me high fived me. I even have conversations with other women in there (which is a common thing from what I gather). The women's restroom is more of a social place than the men's.
If you have accepting coworkers you will not have any issues. Just be a lady; sit and pee and keep
It clean.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 04:02:24 PM
Post by: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 04:02:24 PM
Not really a problem on any level, my plan is to not think about it, when I over think things they go bad. My whole transition has worked by letting go of my conscious thoughts, and trusting my feelings. One more time that star wars has helped solve life problems.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:05:38 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:05:38 PM
Quote from: Tristan on June 24, 2015, 08:04:54 AM
Congratz! I hope you continue to have the courage to use the restroom of the gender you identify as. :P
I don't remember if I mentioned this, but I used the ladies room for the first time on Monday myself! It was after visiting my therapist, so I used the one downstairs in her building. This was the first time I visited my therapist en femme (changed in the car, then changed back before heading back to work), so I figured I'd give it a shot. There was another lady in the stall next to me who left before I was finished so I never had to worry about making contact, but one small step down...
I actually haven't been in the men's room at that building so I can't compare, but the stalls seemed to be freakishly small... Anybody over about 5'10" or weighing 180+ pounds would have trouble getting in there! Is it normal for women's stalls to be smaller than men's?
I know that its normal to have less stalls than it seems for men. 4-6 toilets vs maybe 3 urinals and 4 toilets for men. But it varies.
Oh and congratz! Now we are both bathroom buddies ;) *evil grin*
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:06:52 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:06:52 PM
Quote from: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 11:11:36 AM
This is a situation i will be in tomorrow first day at work fem 7 hours definitely going to be a need in there at some point.
Hoping for the best. Like everyone has said to me: Go in like you own the place, you have every right to be there
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:08:38 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:08:38 PM
Quote from: Valwen on June 24, 2015, 04:02:24 PM
Not really a problem on any level, my plan is to not think about it, when I over think things they go bad. My whole transition has worked by letting go of my conscious thoughts, and trusting my feelings. One more time that star wars has helped solve life problems.
The force is strong in this one. Just don't pee on the dark side.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: stephaniec on June 24, 2015, 04:18:20 PM
Post by: stephaniec on June 24, 2015, 04:18:20 PM
for a little added courage , when your finished doing what you have to do, stand at the big mirror along with other woman and compare yourself to them and see how you look. I did that yesterday at a movie theater that has a nice bar where you can use the internet. I felt pretty good comparing and finding out I look all right.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:39:17 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 04:39:17 PM
Quote from: stephaniec on June 24, 2015, 04:18:20 PM
for a little added courage , when your finished doing what you have to do, stand at the big mirror along with other woman and compare yourself to them and see how you look. I did that yesterday at a movie theater that has a nice bar where you can use the internet. I felt pretty good comparing and finding out I look all right.
hmm wow the next step. Ok I will try. I also have one at a public beach I need to tackle.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Sabrina on June 24, 2015, 07:25:27 PM
Post by: Sabrina on June 24, 2015, 07:25:27 PM
Congrats. I still have to use the men's restroom :(
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 07:33:00 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 24, 2015, 07:33:00 PM
Quote from: Sabrina on June 24, 2015, 07:25:27 PM
Congrats. I still have to use the men's restroom :(
how come? you present as more female than I do.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Emileeeee on June 25, 2015, 09:49:39 AM
Post by: Emileeeee on June 25, 2015, 09:49:39 AM
Congrats! That's such a huge step. I spent 30+ minutes shaking in a bar one night trying to figure out how to use the bathroom without actually using it. Nature finally got the better of me and forced me in there. It was nowhere near as scary as I thought it would be.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Skeptoid on June 25, 2015, 09:46:14 PM
Post by: Skeptoid on June 25, 2015, 09:46:14 PM
About a month ago I was at a major convention and I'll be damned if the bathrooms didn't have lounges with couches and mirrors. Definitely never saw that kind of thing back when I had to use the men's room.
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 26, 2015, 10:21:11 PM
Post by: Shawn Sunshine on June 26, 2015, 10:21:11 PM
Stepping it up...with courage...went to the San Jose train station bathroom with many women...on the way to see family to come out
Title: Re: I finally used the bathroom!
Post by: iKate on June 27, 2015, 01:38:47 PM
Post by: iKate on June 27, 2015, 01:38:47 PM
Quote from: stephaniec on June 24, 2015, 04:18:20 PM
for a little added courage , when your finished doing what you have to do, stand at the big mirror along with other woman and compare yourself to them and see how you look. I did that yesterday at a movie theater that has a nice bar where you can use the internet. I felt pretty good comparing and finding out I look all right.
Oh my gosh I love that about the ladies room at work! The mirror is so handy for fixing makeup or other things