Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: CursedFireDean on June 23, 2015, 09:59:46 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Talking to Parents about seeing a mental health professional?
Post by: CursedFireDean on June 23, 2015, 09:59:46 PM
Post by: CursedFireDean on June 23, 2015, 09:59:46 PM
This is not a directly trans-related question, however I figured that many people here have experience with anxiety and depression and such, so I hoped you'd have some advice.
I've been having lots of depressive moods that have been progressively getting worse since like middle school- I am nearly 19 now. It's gotten to the point now that I really want to seek some help for it. I am in college now and I tried seeing school counsellors but they ultimately made me feel worse, which leaves finding a doctor through my insurance company. I'm still on my dad's insurance policy and I need someone other than myself to pay the copay because I really can't scrape it together right now, so I need to ask him about seeing someone.
The problem is, my dad has always been concerned for me, but especially once I came out and he heard statistics about suicide rates for trans people, he's been much more paranoid. I know I am not in danger of suicide right now, and I really do not want him bothering me as if I was, because he bothers me enough now about not going out doing things enough. I know he means well but to be honest he makes it worse, and I am worried about how his view of mental health issues might hurt me once I tell him I want to seek help from a professional. I'm not necessarily afraid of him telling me no, but I am afraid of him thinking he can fix it but really making it worse.
Does anyone have advice for how I can bring it up without making him worried that I am going to kill myself?
I've been having lots of depressive moods that have been progressively getting worse since like middle school- I am nearly 19 now. It's gotten to the point now that I really want to seek some help for it. I am in college now and I tried seeing school counsellors but they ultimately made me feel worse, which leaves finding a doctor through my insurance company. I'm still on my dad's insurance policy and I need someone other than myself to pay the copay because I really can't scrape it together right now, so I need to ask him about seeing someone.
The problem is, my dad has always been concerned for me, but especially once I came out and he heard statistics about suicide rates for trans people, he's been much more paranoid. I know I am not in danger of suicide right now, and I really do not want him bothering me as if I was, because he bothers me enough now about not going out doing things enough. I know he means well but to be honest he makes it worse, and I am worried about how his view of mental health issues might hurt me once I tell him I want to seek help from a professional. I'm not necessarily afraid of him telling me no, but I am afraid of him thinking he can fix it but really making it worse.
Does anyone have advice for how I can bring it up without making him worried that I am going to kill myself?
Title: Re: Talking to Parents about seeing a mental health professional?
Post by: RaptorChops on June 23, 2015, 10:17:37 PM
Post by: RaptorChops on June 23, 2015, 10:17:37 PM
maybe find a gender therapist and bring him to your sessions? maybe the therapist can help him understand better. But from what I read it seems he's supportive but maybe just afraid for you? This is exactly the same situation with me and my folks. my dad is the positive one but he worries i'll get beat up and my mom is more the negative sided. Both of them are very excepting of my transition though and are getting much better with their pronouns and all :)
Title: Re: Talking to Parents about seeing a mental health professional?
Post by: FTMax on June 24, 2015, 06:58:29 AM
Post by: FTMax on June 24, 2015, 06:58:29 AM
Have you totally exhausted the counseling resources at school? Mine had general groups, special interest groups, and individual sessions with one of three different professionals. But I went to a larger school, so not sure what the situation is at yours. Maybe you just didn't click with the person you met with.
Either way, it's summer and you're probably home now. If you have your dad's insurance information, I'd do a quick search to see if anyone local is in your network and what the copay would be. Just in general get as much information as you can about what you want to do, and then talk to dad. Maybe phrase it as you've been really stressed with school stuff and life stuff in general and you think you'd benefit from talking to a professional about it.
If he is anything but supportive right off the bat, I'd let him know that his attitude towards the situation makes you feel worse. There is nothing that shuts my dad up faster than telling him he's making me feel bad. Let him know that you're not a danger to yourself, but that you don't feel right.
Either way, it's summer and you're probably home now. If you have your dad's insurance information, I'd do a quick search to see if anyone local is in your network and what the copay would be. Just in general get as much information as you can about what you want to do, and then talk to dad. Maybe phrase it as you've been really stressed with school stuff and life stuff in general and you think you'd benefit from talking to a professional about it.
If he is anything but supportive right off the bat, I'd let him know that his attitude towards the situation makes you feel worse. There is nothing that shuts my dad up faster than telling him he's making me feel bad. Let him know that you're not a danger to yourself, but that you don't feel right.
Title: Re: Talking to Parents about seeing a mental health professional?
Post by: Bimmer Guy on June 24, 2015, 05:41:06 PM
Post by: Bimmer Guy on June 24, 2015, 05:41:06 PM
Why don't you think he will believe you if you tell him you are not suicidal?
Have the therapist assist you get your father to understand that taking your direction as to how he can support you is best for you.
Have the therapist assist you get your father to understand that taking your direction as to how he can support you is best for you.