Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 10:36:19 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Things we have in common...
Post by: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 10:36:19 AM
Post by: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 10:36:19 AM
I wanted to see if we have these things in common...
All my life I felt something was "off" or "different" about me.
I made friends easier with the girls than the boys.
I wished I had long hair.
If you said yes to any of these, please leave a comment below. Thanks!
Jessica
All my life I felt something was "off" or "different" about me.
I made friends easier with the girls than the boys.
I wished I had long hair.
If you said yes to any of these, please leave a comment below. Thanks!
Jessica
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: Racheliv on June 25, 2015, 10:49:54 AM
Post by: Racheliv on June 25, 2015, 10:49:54 AM
Def shared these feelings
Spend a lot of my childhood wondering why I was excluded or treated differently. Not always a bad different, but not like the other boys for sure
By middle/high school had mostly girl friends. I remember being super jealous when I would have to go home when the girls could stay overnight. Still get a little jealous of my wife with our women friends, getting better though more I come out.
Grew my hair out at 13, only cut it kinda short once when I was desperate for a job like 5 years ago. Def had arguments with parents about it when young, asked my mom how she would feel if she had to cut hers off. Had one ear pierced from mid teens too, added the other side and a nostril piercing after hs, still want a navel though.
It always amazes me all the signs I see when looking back. Took me a long time to put all the pieces together, feeling a lot better now that things make sense.
Spend a lot of my childhood wondering why I was excluded or treated differently. Not always a bad different, but not like the other boys for sure
By middle/high school had mostly girl friends. I remember being super jealous when I would have to go home when the girls could stay overnight. Still get a little jealous of my wife with our women friends, getting better though more I come out.
Grew my hair out at 13, only cut it kinda short once when I was desperate for a job like 5 years ago. Def had arguments with parents about it when young, asked my mom how she would feel if she had to cut hers off. Had one ear pierced from mid teens too, added the other side and a nostril piercing after hs, still want a navel though.
It always amazes me all the signs I see when looking back. Took me a long time to put all the pieces together, feeling a lot better now that things make sense.
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 11:03:18 AM
Post by: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 11:03:18 AM
Quote from: Racheliv on June 25, 2015, 10:49:54 AM
Def shared these feelings
Spend a lot of my childhood wondering why I was excluded or treated differently. Not always a bad different, but not like the other boys for sure
By middle/high school had mostly girl friends. I remember being super jealous when I would have to go home when the girls could stay overnight. Still get a little jealous of my wife with our women friends, getting better though more I come out.
Grew my hair out at 13, only cut it kinda short once when I was desperate for a job like 5 years ago. Def had arguments with parents about it when young, asked my mom how she would feel if she had to cut hers off. Had one ear pierced from mid teens too, added the other side and a nostril piercing after hs, still want a navel though.
It always amazes me all the signs I see when looking back. Took me a long time to put all the pieces together, feeling a lot better now that things make sense.
Thanks for sharing these details. I feel the same way, and it was only a few weeks ago that it all came together. I felt like I was missing something. Then when I put the possibility that I have a female brain, it was like all the other pieces fit perfectly now. It all makes sense. I've felt something was odd about me since I was young. I thought when I discovered I was bisexual, that maybe things would make sense. Nope. I'm glad it does now. :-)
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: FreyasRedemption on June 25, 2015, 11:41:19 AM
Post by: FreyasRedemption on June 25, 2015, 11:41:19 AM
Let's see.
When I was younger, I mostly felt "off" when looking at photos featuring me, or my reflection in the mirror. My thoughts were along the lines of "Man, I look hideous." But back then, I didn't know that it was possible to improve, so I just left those thoughts hanging and focused on something else to forget it.
I remember getting really well along with the girls in kindergarten. But later on, they stopped treating me like one of their own, and I kinda had to hang out with the boys so that I would have someone to play with. School was difficult, since I was assigned to an unfortunate class that had zero girls in it. Well, expect for me, but I hadn't properly figured it out yet. That continued on for five or so years. And it changed with the first girl who joined our class.
I found out that I got better along with her than any of the guys. That discovery became a realization, which I at first denied and much later on accepted. And here I am now.
My hair was always almost military-style short. Mostly because my mother wanted it to stay short, and I went along with her line of thought because I had never had long hair and didn't actually even consider it an option. Plus, my hair looked really ugly when it was in the "not short anymore, but not long either" phase of growth, so I actually wanted for it to be cut. But when I finally accepted that I'm actually female, I decided to just go for it. And now, my hair is kinda long-ish. Doesn't go below shoulders, but getting there.
So, yes. We do have these things in common.
When I was younger, I mostly felt "off" when looking at photos featuring me, or my reflection in the mirror. My thoughts were along the lines of "Man, I look hideous." But back then, I didn't know that it was possible to improve, so I just left those thoughts hanging and focused on something else to forget it.
I remember getting really well along with the girls in kindergarten. But later on, they stopped treating me like one of their own, and I kinda had to hang out with the boys so that I would have someone to play with. School was difficult, since I was assigned to an unfortunate class that had zero girls in it. Well, expect for me, but I hadn't properly figured it out yet. That continued on for five or so years. And it changed with the first girl who joined our class.
I found out that I got better along with her than any of the guys. That discovery became a realization, which I at first denied and much later on accepted. And here I am now.
My hair was always almost military-style short. Mostly because my mother wanted it to stay short, and I went along with her line of thought because I had never had long hair and didn't actually even consider it an option. Plus, my hair looked really ugly when it was in the "not short anymore, but not long either" phase of growth, so I actually wanted for it to be cut. But when I finally accepted that I'm actually female, I decided to just go for it. And now, my hair is kinda long-ish. Doesn't go below shoulders, but getting there.
So, yes. We do have these things in common.
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: kittenpower on June 25, 2015, 11:51:16 AM
Post by: kittenpower on June 25, 2015, 11:51:16 AM
I had the same experiences, and the hair issue was extremely distressing; I used to have crying screaming fits when my parents made me cut my hair. One time I cut all of the hair off of my sister's dolls, because I wanted them to be like me :'(
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: Swayallday on June 25, 2015, 12:07:13 PM
Post by: Swayallday on June 25, 2015, 12:07:13 PM
Every summer I cut off my long hair.
Substance abuse usually ensues shortly after ::)
Substance abuse usually ensues shortly after ::)
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: suzifrommd on June 25, 2015, 12:07:53 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on June 25, 2015, 12:07:53 PM
Quote from: Jessica_W on June 25, 2015, 10:36:19 AM
I wanted to see if we have these things in common...
All my life I felt something was "off" or "different" about me.
I made friends easier with the girls than the boys.
I wished I had long hair.
If you said yes to any of these, please leave a comment below. Thanks!
Jessica
Yes, to the first two.
Having trouble making friends with guys was BIG. It colored my social life for pretty much all my adult years.
Title: Re: Things we have in common...
Post by: Kellam on June 25, 2015, 12:19:10 PM
Post by: Kellam on June 25, 2015, 12:19:10 PM
All my life I felt something was "off" or "different" about me.
Yup, I noticed it and began to feel the pain of it back in the second grade. My family had moved to a new town and I found myself on the outside looking in. I couldn't understand the boys and the girls didn't want me around. As I got older that just got stronger and I just felt wrong. For decades I would be muttering "no, no, no, wrong, no..." As I drifted off to sleep. I tried to cellebrate everything else about me that strayed from "normal" behavior hoping that would solve it but alas it didn't.
I made friends easier with the girls than the boys.
Before second grade most of my friends were other girls. When the break came I slowly learned how to befriend nerdy boys. I would be friends with a boy for a year or two, then there would be a stretch of loneliness then another friend. By the end of junior high I had no friends outside of school and hardly any in school. I learned to accept that the world didn't want me.
I wished I had long hair.
I grew mine out in my teens. My folks loved it, my Pop still has his bald hippy ponytail. I shaved my head when I decided I couldn't be me and shoved my feelings inside so that I could learn to be a man. When I began to aproach transition one of my first conscious admitions came in the form of a longing to start growing my hair again.
I hope these help...I find it so wonderful to learn how average I am, how like your lives my life has been. I spent my life feeling like a freak it does me serious good to feel normal. It does also break my heart to know how many of us have suffered for so long.
Yup, I noticed it and began to feel the pain of it back in the second grade. My family had moved to a new town and I found myself on the outside looking in. I couldn't understand the boys and the girls didn't want me around. As I got older that just got stronger and I just felt wrong. For decades I would be muttering "no, no, no, wrong, no..." As I drifted off to sleep. I tried to cellebrate everything else about me that strayed from "normal" behavior hoping that would solve it but alas it didn't.
I made friends easier with the girls than the boys.
Before second grade most of my friends were other girls. When the break came I slowly learned how to befriend nerdy boys. I would be friends with a boy for a year or two, then there would be a stretch of loneliness then another friend. By the end of junior high I had no friends outside of school and hardly any in school. I learned to accept that the world didn't want me.
I wished I had long hair.
I grew mine out in my teens. My folks loved it, my Pop still has his bald hippy ponytail. I shaved my head when I decided I couldn't be me and shoved my feelings inside so that I could learn to be a man. When I began to aproach transition one of my first conscious admitions came in the form of a longing to start growing my hair again.
I hope these help...I find it so wonderful to learn how average I am, how like your lives my life has been. I spent my life feeling like a freak it does me serious good to feel normal. It does also break my heart to know how many of us have suffered for so long.