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Looking and feeling beautiful is soo worth it, but it's just soo much upkeep! I now take much longer in the shower, especially taking extra care of my long hair.
I want to keep everything nice, but some days I'm just too tired and not up to it. I now understand why women complain, It really is alot of work! I left the dreadful times behind me, but now that time is filled with beauty upkeep :-)
Did any of you other girls come to this breakthrough of the veil of womanhood? Lol.

I pretty much decided I'd only spend an extra 10 minutes a day bothering with that stuff. Makes me feel good about myself but I'm not going to overdo it and most of the women I know don't either. It's only a drag if I'm unwell or running late. It took me about a month of being full time to get it from 20 minutes down to 10 minutes so practice makes quicker (still worming on perfect).

I knew it coming in, but it is worth. It's taken time to cut down on the time necessary to get ready, but I enjoy and I'm proud of how I look when I'm done. Hugs
Mariah

Went from 40 years of no hair to hair.  There are days I look at my clippers and just miss them:)  maybe I should and just get a wig?  But its the little things that make me feel good about myself;)

Quote from: CosmicJoke on June 28, 2015, 03:08:02 PM
Looking and feeling beautiful is soo worth it, but it's just soo much upkeep! I now take much longer in the shower, especially taking extra care of my long hair.
I want to keep everything nice, but some days I'm just too tired and not up to it. I now understand why women complain, It really is alot of work! I left the dreadful times behind me, but now that time is filled with beauty upkeep :-)
Did any of you other girls come to this breakthrough of the veil of womanhood? Lol.

I expected the extra upkeep, but it's so worth it, a part of womanhood that no man will ever understand, hubby gets a 10 min hair cut it's a chore, but if I spent 2 hours on a Saturday getting my hair done, styled and colored with highlights it's a pampered experience, I don't care how long it takes, I might spoil myself getting my nails done, beauty upkeep does take time, but it's a labour of love.

Defo spend a lot more time on myself but love every moment of it. Especially when being looked after by others that is a real treat. :)

Anything that can be looked after is looked after these days.

Like the adverts say "because you're worth it".

Daily maintenance is just practice. I have my own hair that decides every night while I'm asleep to go wild. But my morning routine, shower, clothes, hair, makeup takes 20 mins max.

Makeup: moisturiser (Olay with a hint of foundation, a pat of mineral makeup (Nude mineral makeup). Hair, use clips to separate into sections, spray on heat protector, comb with a wide tooth, hair iron. Done.
Clothes; basic everyday professional, chosen the night before (yes I change my mind :laugh:). No fashion model.
Done.
I make my lunch the day before ( a salad with either cheese or lean cold meat as protein).
Cup of tea, a toasted muffin, into the car. Gone!

In the past: Hangover, find the head ache tablets. Coffee. Feel like crap. Try to remember that last time I had a wash, do I smell too bad? Cut myself shaving. Find the least dirty shirt and jeans.
Crawl into the car, feel sick. Bits of tissue paper hanging off my face.
Get to work, lock the office door and hope no one sees me.

Guess which I prefer!

I was just saying the other day how if I add too much more to my weekly grooming routine I'm going to lose entire days/weekends to it. During the week I tend to be pretty fast about it, but 1 day a week or so I manage to kill about half a day doing various things to my hair skin and nails.

It's one of the few things that makes me feel better about myself though. So meh, it's worth it!

I easily spend an extra 20-30 minutes in the morning, compared to before. It is very worth it to me to feel more feminine every day. Like this morning i was wearing white jeans, blue top and sandals combo and i just had to change my nail polish to match my top, because a shade i have is a perfect blue match.

On weekend days i sometime spend hours trying out different things, time permitting.

I knew what I was getting into when I transitioned. With practice i've cut the time required down considerably, but on those days when I wash my hair I know it's going to take extra time to dry it and style it. I'll never complain about the extra time since I never thought it would recover enough for me to not need a wig.

I see the beauty routine as a price of admission, a right of passage, and a privilege that I have as a woman.

I suppose I've never really noticed the extra attention I put into getting ready. I love fixing my hair. And makeup is pretty simple since I ignore my eyes. I just lightly apply some blush and lip gloss. Many women don't use makeup of any kind these days so I'm very comfortable with what I do.

Honestly, I look forward to taking on this burden.   (And losing the shaving!  I hate beards and stubble.  Fortunately, I'm almost hairless except for the face and South Pole.   ;) )

I don't like doing any of it, but I do anyway because I like the way I look when I do it. If you asked my wife, she'd tell you women do that stuff when they want to get some.

Just shortening my hair allowed me to save 2 hours for drying it every morning. And most people say I look prettier and more feminine with short hair, but I still miss my long hair.

It takes less than 5 min to clean my face and wear sun scream and eye makeup. No foundation or other extra facial makeup!

I am becoming lazier and lazier.

barbie~~

I do not think this is necessarily a feminine thing really....

I take my time showering, with hair removal on my body, hair care for my head hair, and skin care/shaving my face.  That's what's most important and time consuming for me.  I don't wear makeup at all and wear my hair in a bun most days.  I just don't really have a desire to get super girly with the makeup and hair everyday.  I'm lazy after shaving my body haha   ::)

Putting on a daily look takes me 10 to 20 depending how needy the mirror talks about my face. A fancy night out is another story. Tonight we are hitting a club for a Halloween costume party and I don'the even want to consider how much prep time that will take (setting aside 2 hours just in case),  As for dailys, I shower in the evening and do my legs. The legs adds 10 to 15 minutes and I sometimes begrudge that, but other times I like to enjoy the pampering process, it can make up for a tough day. - Anne

^very true.  Pampering at night can be so nice after a bad day.

My morning usually take about 30-60 minuts depending how much of a rush Im in, put eyes in, have shower, do my legs need doing or will I be lazy and put it off another day, put sun screen on, find what to wear and what bra looks good today, do hair, and check I have everything in my hand bag....
As for make up tried it a few times back in there day and found it to be a pain and not my thing, my retired female psych I loved said not all women wear make up for various reasons and that just made me feel good about not wearing it,,but always wear Olay and sun screen,,
And once a fortnight I go to the hair dressers for ME TIME,
But every now and then I can do everything in 15 minuts if I wake up late....
So back to the original question "I now understand why women complain so much" it just depends on how you look at it, it can be and cant be,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cheers Tracy

I am most likely not as beautiful as the rest of you and that prevents me from making the transition but I do shave my legs as much as I can and I find just doing that can be such a task in itself and maintaining the smooth look is such hard work and then I hear people talk about make up and all that and I think there is no way that I could ever get that down. I am in my forties and all the work that I see that is involved to become more feminine just gets me  exhausted without even doing anything yet lol

Nothing beats taking the time to look good. My wife wishes that were true in my male mode. However when you get it just right. No mascara smudges, eye shadow fallout, skin looks flawless. I feel so good about myself. There is just one problem. Wielding that dang iron across my skull. Some time I think about hitting the burn unit at the hospital afterwards.

I spent a lifetime not caring and it showed. One of the best parts about accepting myself is pampering myself. I actually enjoy going all narcissistic and getting OCD with all the girly stuff. Most women, including my S.O. tell me they are so over it, but I tell them I never got a chance to be over it, so I'm making up for lost time. I have had to train myself not to listen to criticism regarding how much time I spend in the bathroom, applying makeup, wearing skirts or dresses. Etc..etc.. I don't take it personally....nor do I give it any power or pay attention. I just nod and go about my business :) . Might be a lot of work, but if you enjoy it, it ain't work. I've taken care of everyone my whole life. I'm overdue for some me time.  ;D

Quote from: jentay1367 on November 28, 2016, 03:53:53 PM
I spent a lifetime not caring and it showed. One of the best parts about accepting myself is pampering myself. I actually enjoy going all narcissistic and getting OCD with all the girly stuff. Most women, including my S.O. tell me they are so over it, but I tell them I never got a chance to be over it, so I'm making up for lost time. I have had to train myself not to listen to criticism regarding how much time I spend in the bathroom, applying makeup, wearing skirts or dresses. Etc..etc.. I don't take it personally....nor do I give it any power or pay attention. I just nod and go about my business :) . Might be a lot of work, but if you enjoy it, it ain't work. I've taken care of everyone my whole life. I'm overdue for some me time.  ;D

Yes. Me, too!

barbie~~

It's really not that bad. The most time I take is shaving and using a body scrub. Other than that I dont take long to get ready. Hell most days I just slap on clothes and go when it's not a special occassion.

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

After making the decision to transition now, it was almost like a switch went off. 
I now shower everyday.  Exfolitate, shave, moisurize, teeth whiten.  The whole nine yards. 
Not because I care how I look, or how others see me ( I barely leave the house, and work from home), but because I'm moving towards the person I am, and thats a great motivator for self-care.

Shaving/Nairing my body, is something I look forward to doing.  Such an amazing feeling.

But as for makeup and getting ready, yeah I could take that or leave it.
But society isn't too kind, and its actually a necessity for safety in some ways for alot of trans women.  Even if they don't like it, they almost "have to" do it.  Which is kinda sad.

Good TED talk on the topic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D9QIG36J9Q

Quote from: kayla1618 on October 29, 2017, 08:09:48 AM
As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

After making the decision to transition now, it was almost like a switch went off. 
I now shower everyday.  Exfolitate, shave, moisurize, teeth whiten.  The whole nine yards. 
Not because I care how I look, or how others see me ( I barely leave the house, and work from home), but because I'm moving towards the person I am, and thats a great motivator for self-care.

Shaving/Nairing my body, is something I look forward to doing.  Such an amazing feeling.

But as for makeup and getting ready, yeah I could take that or leave it.
But society isn't too kind, and its actually a necessity for safety in some ways for alot of trans women.  Even if they don't like it, they almost "have to" do it.  Which is kinda sad.

Yes. Many women here do not take care of their appearance, especially aged women.
Some of my friends complain that most working women at my age here do not wear makeup and always insist wearing trousers or  jeans, not skirts. I also do not take care of myself when I am busy. Whenever I have leisure time or am excited for some events, yes, I try to wear something special. It is fun and a kind of stimulant for my life.

Enjoy it!

barbie~~

Not taking care of yourself is a big marker of alot of psychological conditions.

Primping is one of those things that expands to fill the time you give it. Most days it takes me about a half hour to take a shower and do my face. Closer to an hour if I want to look pretty and flat iron my hair, wear tights or do something special with my makeup.

Quote from: kayla1618 on October 29, 2017, 08:09:48 AM
As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

Yep, that was me. The sad part was it was also a large reason I couldn't see past my appearance to what was underneath, making it a bit of a self defeating practice in my case.

Quote from: kayla1618 on October 29, 2017, 08:09:48 AM
As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like . . . A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.

Sooo true Kayla!!! With so many people and problems we deal with everyday turns out "taking care of oneself" is the only thing we have any real control over. Had a person "on the job" last week say I don't look a day over forty (a guy no less ??? ) don't want to wear makeup yet look young again going full transition while hiding it any way I can?? Have once again become a platinum skin care VIP member my face and eyes positively STING as I head out the door in the AM! Even 'ex' agrees I've been in a better mood overall.

As hair gets longer (again!) just bundle it under my work cap (again?) I'm very good at my mundane job(s) I keep it because there's no "dress code" to it. What is dispatch and highly religious owner gonna do? Accuse me of looking girlish?  ( which, if one thinks about it, is not a very mature way to be and only goes to show how inhibiting NOT TRANSITIONING for so long can be?? )

Same here. I could barely look in the mirror and tried avoiding it for days in a row. Unshaven, buzz cut just to avoid the dreaded mirror. Run away from any kind of photo op. Lotion was a once a year thing.

Has all changed now and my photo stream is filled with selfies. Lotion is applied twice a week and I spent a good amount of time caring about myself... to the point where it annoys my wife...

Quote from: kayla1618 on October 29, 2017, 08:09:48 AM
As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

Yes, I do complain about the amount of work required in upkeep. But when I get gendered correctly as a result or get compliments for my look it is all worth it...

I don't mind spending a lot of time on my appearance at all. I wear makeup every day if I'm going some where or not and I don't mind the time it takes to maintain my hair, nails, etc. I have a few older ladies as clients and they don't wear makeup, they dress for comfort instead of looks and they all like really short hair. I must admit that I sometimes have trouble figuring out the gender of some elderly people. One of my clients summed it up pretty well. She told me to wait 50 years and see if I still want to fool with my hair and makeup every day. I can kind of see her point. I wouldn't say elderly women "let themselves go". They don't really. They are just tired of doing makeup and all of that and I can understand that.

Honestly?  I am definitely not going to complain.  I don't feel right until I've got my face on.  Part of that is likely my use of makeup to minimize testosterone damage in the face.   

That hasn't stopped me from trying to spend less time, of course.  I can get my face on with a short-cut version of my old drill in 10 minutes, and it lasts all day with minor care.  That makes me happy.

I also have always kept it subtle, to the point where friends who finally saw me sans makeup in the hospital  were surprised, realizing that I HAD been wearing makeup all that time!   That was fun, sort of. 

As for myself, I refuse to wear cream makeup. It makes my wrinkles look worse. If I'm going somewhere special, I'll apply some translucent powder and a little mascara. Otherwise, I don't bother with makeup.
As for hair, I won't get a cut or perm that's requires a lot of maintenance. I just want to brush it out in the morning. People see me like that every day, and nobody questions my gender.
Of course, I don't live in the big city, or have to dress to the nines every day. Except for being a bit tall, I blend in just fine with minimal effort, just like most of the women where I live.

You are right about the cream foundation. As a person's face ages at some point the right powder and a touch of concealer to take off the shine from moisturizer/sunscreen will look much better than applying a heavy foundation.

Yes!   As my electrolysis work has progressed so far, I've been able to drop the concealer and opaque foundation in favor of tinted BB cream moisturizer or sunblock in the summer, and now in our mid-fall, I just use a simple moisturizer (Cetaphil), and powder eye, bronzer, and highlighter, along with the eyeliner and brow brush (colors hairs, not so much skin, more subtle than a brow pencil).

I don't get that wrinkly crinkly look like I did with the heavy foundation after several hours.

Makeup drill takes maybe 10-15 minutes.


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You ladies are lucky. Makeup alone will take me an hour and a half alone, maybe 2 hours if I mess up. I'm hoping after FFS I won't have to be so caught up with all the latest makeup tricks. I do love when someone else does my makeup for me though.

I haven't gotten to hair yet because mine is still short. I hope by that point it'll help me look more passable and then makeup will be less of an issue. Mostly it's my nose anyway which even with makeup it doesn't help much [emoji17]


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You'll find with practice your makeup routine will get faster.  I found that some of the steps and potions I had been sold were not necessary, and were counterproductive. (An eye 'serum' primer that took 10 minutes to apply and set, for example, that led to a caked and cracked appearance under the eyes 6 hours later!)

A lighter look concentrated on the shading and contour tricks I use to forehead, nose, cheeks, and jawline is pretty much my daily look now.


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@Michelle_P
Tinted BB is the best invention in makeup since mascara!

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 30, 2017, 06:59:24 AM
I must admit that I sometimes have trouble figuring out the gender of some elderly people. .

LOL, Julia that is often true and something I count on as an old thang ;D...Joking just a little but I'm practical and have the gift of being non binary and not trying to achieve any look but my own :D  We keep em guessing and i encourage people to assume nothing about another's gender.

When I was 18, just started HRT, I would spend a lot of time on my makeup, more than anything else. I didn't really have a goood skin care routine and didn't clear my face well so I got some blemishes and then I just caked in more Foundation making the problem worse. I was really insecure that I looked too guyish even if I didn't for only 2 months on HRT so I wore makeup everyday and was so tired when I got home (I worked two jobs), that I would not wash my face properly.  Then I realized I was ruining my skin so I stopped and started taking good real care of it until it became so soft and glowing that I really don't need any Foundation on a daily basis so I don't wear.

I also spent a lot of time on clothes, it was hard to figure out what would complemente my then rectangular shape. I was really skinny. But HRT also helped with curves so I can't complain. Nowadays I spend less time but I'm a pratical girl and the only makeup I wear everyday is macara but I just bought a lipstick I lovelovelove, so I may start wearing that lipstick as well. I just love the color. Lol. I have a hard time finding a good lipstick that compliments my fair skin. rant over. I do like dresses, but not skirts, lol, skinny jeans and most girly clothes. I spend some time trying to choose my outfit and I always want to look casual, but pretty. Sometimes I risk a bit more. Others times I opt for Comfort and there goes the handy sweatshrit. Hahahah

When I started I would spend between 1.5 to 2 hours just on make up over time I have been able to do may make up and hair in 25 to 35 minutes. I don't shake as much and realize what goes on and works better for me. I do spend still alot of time on clothing because now for some reason every thing has to match top pants socks shoes bra and so on... I have been more relaxed as the days go on I feel a bit more confident.

I mean the more you do it the faster it gets. The hair is the longest part but if you are willing to and or have curly hair then you just have to wake earlier to shower and shave. Makeup takes me about ten minutes and that is everything from concealer to mascara and whatever color lipstick I wear. I will give one little tip though, use hairspray so you don't always have to reapply. You can also use a black or brown magic marker for eyebrows and or eyeliner but don't get it into your eyes though. Hell even eyeliner sux so I usually do it right against my eyelash line. OMG I have done the "deal" but you have to be really careful because it will make your eyes burn on the very edge of the lids. Mascara, you really need an eyelash curler. If not then they just don't do right. Not too much either because you will get "tarantula lashes". Then they seem to stick together. Personally I hate waterproof mascara.

Look I am going to make my BF wait. Either he thinks it is worth it and waits or gets pissed. Sometimes both but... Hey, we are women. Make the men wait. If they don't then they aren't worth it. >:-) If they wait then they think we are worth it to them. ;D

My boyfriend knows how long it takes me and he lets me go first before we go out or anywhere so he can do his little five minute deal and still has to wait on me.

It takes a little work and being trans even more than cis women. He should know that and be thankful for the extra time it takes.

And yes it sux but it sux so good though. This may sound sexist or submissive or whatever but he has a really conservative job and some of the single guys he works with tell me to leave him and go with them. Some of the women too. He is a cop in a smaller town in the south even. I am accepted by the wives and girlfriends and they do know.

But what is there to complain about? Yeah it sux sometimes but....I would not do anything different. It is so worth it. I like the plucked brows, the shaved legs and underarms, the bra does suck though but keeps my boobs from flopping and accentuates them. I don't have to tuck because my "junk" is really small and the testes as long as I sit like a woman and so on don't matter much. :embarrassed: That is kind of why I think I am intersex. I grew boobs during puberty with no medication and something else did not grow past 10 years old. :embarrassed:

There's a line that sticks in my mind from the excellent British TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl in which the lead character says "It costs about thirty grand to be a girl" (I think around $50K in in US dollars at that time). Just the expense of "being a girl" can be quite forbiddingly expensive-- even without the addition of transgender-related costs. While I've always been an extraordinarily frugal shopper, I can see how just the costs of being a "proper women" can be something to complain about. Even the less visible aspects, like cosmetics, can be absurdly expensive. It's easy to see why many genetic women don't even try very much.

Quote from: Lyric on November 17, 2017, 08:49:18 AM
There's a line that sticks in my mind from the excellent British TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl in which the lead character says "It costs about thirty grand to be a girl" (I think around $50K in in US dollars at that time). Just the expense of "being a girl" can be quite forbiddingly expensive-- even without the addition of transgender-related costs. While I've always been an extraordinarily frugal shopper, I can see how just the costs of being a "proper women" can be something to complain about. Even the less visible aspects, like cosmetics, can be absurdly expensive. It's easy to see why many genetic women don't even try very much.

Hey look Lyric. We have hair then we have to style it and take extra good care of it. We have to shave and the most comfortable blades cost more than just disposables. Then the lotions, the makeup which can be really expensive for quality and so on. Shaving the face is hard on blades and hard on the face too so...

I have to wear a bra so that kind of gets expensive when most cis women will wear a bra for a couple of days straight but I change them everyday because I can't stand the heat and I sweat. I have 14 for two weeks but my ex when I was married only had three. :-\ Same with panties. Then OMG the shoes? My BF has about three pair, one for sports, one for dress up, on pair of cowboy boots and on for work and one for casual wear. Wait that is five but I have about 15 pair though. Flats up to stilettos and those he only gets to see. :embarrassed: My BF don't need 40 dollars in makeup or more, he don't need hair products because he can buzz his head, he don't need a dress or other clothing to go to a function and so on. He can wear what he has but... I can't. I mean I pay 30 dollars for a haircut at the local beauty salon yet I buzz his hair for him or he can do it his self with a 20 dollar pair of clippers that his "cut" is free.

But here is one thing that most cis women don't even appreciate... I get to be a woman and cherished by a man as such that never complains. Yes I hear bitching about the time it takes me but he is still happy waiting though. But it is worth the time, effort and price though to me anyway. ;)