Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Anyway, I have been going to a therapist (psychiatrist) for quite a time now. I've had 5 sessions so far (~ 1 month apart each). At first he seemed ok, although the sessions where rather short - like 30 min or so.

Still, there are a few negative points:
-Now and then I asked him for certain tips but he didn't say anything (should they?)

-Sometimes I feel I'm just saying the same things over and over, while on a previous session I had explained on detail how I felt.

-Today was (almost) the last straw: When I got in I was surprised to see 6 more people inside; and no, it didn't seem like group therapy. They were older than me and seemed more like staff. They didn't say anything, just heard what I said. Needless to say, it made me a bit uncomfortable. I thought the sessions were supposed to be private and confidential.
At that time I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want to appear weird or anything.

Last time I had given him a written summary of how I felt and what I thought. Today he asked me questions like "so you have dysphoria?", "have you ever thought of committing suicide?" "you know that operations are "damaging"?", "on a line between male and female where would you put yourself?"
(Regarding this the conversation was as follows:
"Him: If I draw a line here between two points: totally male and totally female, where would you put yourself?
Me: well it's not that simple but I would say somewhere on the female spectrum. Actually you would have to use a multi dimensional coordinate system if you want to do it that way.
Him: I don't know what they teach you at the University - I would prefer an answer on a simple line.
Me: (points at female range). Anyway, how do you define "male percentage" and "female percentage". Based on the interests of each person of the way he/ she presents him/herself?
Him: [no answer - changed subject]
")

In all these questions I wanted to say: are you ->-bleeped-<-in kidding me - I've already answered these questions in previous sessions 100%

-At some point he was asking me "about your fetish with long hair etc" (SAME things I've told him at least 3 times!) "do you prefer it blond or brown, how long? wavy or straight? are you sure you don't feel anything imagining short hair? (I mean why is this EVEN relevant?)

-Today he also asked me why I haven't done any steps to girl-fy (sorry couldn't find appropriate verb) myself (like laser, electrolysis...) (Well, because I was in denial all these years duh - I didn't even know some of these things)

I feel like the previous "detailed" session didn't happen. I wanted to tell him that he's asking the same things over and over but with all these people I couldn't do it (plus I just can't say it straightforward: You're asking me the same questions over and over, can I?)
It's like I'm standing on the same point, concerning therapy that is. (I know I could start laser, electrolysis but right now the financial situation is crazy - default is imminent)

edit: forgot to say, my mother came too today. She went in for a "mini session" after I finished. When she got in she was also very surprised to see all those people in there. She said "wow that's a lot of people" and he just smiled. He asked her various questions and told her that there are a lot of men who feel like women inside and some other things. She asked him some questions specifically about me but he didn't say anything. Generally he didn't leave her good impression.

Comments welcome.

edit no2: To be fair, I know (from a forum I'm not a member) a few trans people who are going to that therapist and things are going ~ok, at least to get the letter after a lengthy amount of time.

I was lucky I found a good one. She empowered me to find my own path, yet gave me advice when she thought I needed it.

I would say the real question is, will he give you your letter anytime soon? If you believe the answer is no, you might want to move on. If the answer is yes, you might want to just suck it up long enough to get it.

I kept seeing mine for a little bit after I got my letter and I intend to see her again, but its been a while.

Hm...
192.168.1.1 could be anywhere...

it sounds to me he is using this as kind of showcase ?

I personally would talk to him about my feelings or impressions... that you feel he is not really supportive... if you want to continue....

another strategy could be to ask how long until a letter...

are they covered by insurance ?

There was another thread on online therapists, and people reached their goals after a few sessions...

Well question is: what do you expect from the appointments ?
Suuport, guidance, referral to an endo ? You might talk to them about this... or thinking if it makes sense to look elsewhere...

hugs

Run.

As fast as you can.

In the other direction.

This therapist is not your friend.

I'm happy to list the things that are really badly wrong with your experience, but you've already sort of done that. This man doesn't respect you, doesn't understand trans people, and doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Run. While you still can.

Well you could use this as a practise for discernment...

if no other things like insurance coverage would matter, what does your feeling say ?


Well and concerning looking for something else...
the universe has a way to come up with solutions...


hugs

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 02, 2015, 03:58:28 PM
Run.

As fast as you can.

In the other direction.

This therapist is not your friend.

I'm happy to list the things that are really badly wrong with your experience, but you've already sort of done that. This man doesn't respect you, doesn't understand trans people, and doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Run. While you still can.

This most definitely. Definitely find another therapist. Hugs
Mariah

Anyone in that office other than you and your therapist should be introduced to you with their reason for being there. If you disapprove of any or all of them, they should leave the room. You are paying for the appointment so you have the right to create an environment where you are comfortable.Psychiatrist are a necessary evil in my view. They are needed for your SRS approval and if you have certain issues that need treating, you do need them. I had two of them but was only able to make progress with a Psychologist. Psychiatrist want to know why you do everything and why you are the way you are. I WAS BORN THAT WAY. A psychologist on the other hand says you have a problem? Tough, find a way to live with it. 

They sound like a loon with a weird dinosaur attitude and understanding of trans treatment.

You're not talking about me are you? That's not even what's being logged. 199 is NOT 192.

All I was trying to say is that if you change therapists now, it might take longer to get HRT started. Personally I think this therapist sounds terrible and wouldn't want to keep seeing them, but I wouldn't want HRT to have taken longer either.

Quote from: Laura_7 on July 02, 2015, 03:55:21 PM
Hm...
192.168.1.1 could be anywhere...

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 02, 2015, 04:25:37 PM
You're not talking about me are you? That's not even what's being logged. 199 is NOT 192.

All I was trying to say is that if you change therapists now, it might take longer to get HRT started. Personally I think this therapist sounds terrible and wouldn't want to keep seeing them, but I wouldn't want HRT to have taken longer either.

192.168.1.1 is entered as home adress of the OP...
its a joke... home sweet home...
users cannot see your IP... its only visible to you...


well question is if it takes longer... if they usually take some time anyways... and some people report to have been to other therapists for only a few sessions...

Quoteat least to get the letter after a lengthy amount of time.

Interesting. That's also surprising. I didn't think it was possible to get a private address on a public lookup.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 02, 2015, 04:50:59 PM
Interesting. That's also surprising. I didn't think it was possible to get a private address on a public lookup.

i didn't get it via lookup... its manually entered in the profile, as adress... you see it if you klick on the username...

as said... a hint to home sweet home...

hugs

Only you, moderators, and administrators can see your IP logged on this site.
Mariah

That's what I thought, which made me wonder where that came from.

Oh I see what you're talking about now. The location field for their profile name is manually entered by the person that created the account. You could put Mars in there if you want. If someone put in an ip address in there (and I see they did in this case) then it doesn't mean anything. I suspect its related to their profile being very star trek oriented. I'm a nerd myself.

 :police:
Okay folks. Lets please get back on topic. Thanks
Mariah

I entirely agree with our sisters here.  This guy is sounding iffy at best.  The idea of a "long hair fetish", repeated inane questions and bringing strangers in to your private sessions are enough red flags to think you are better off elsewhere.  I hope you have the opportunity to shop around and maybe even find a clinic that simply treats people well after informed consent.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 02, 2015, 03:58:28 PM
Run.

As fast as you can.

In the other direction.

This therapist is not your friend.

I'm happy to list the things that are really badly wrong with your experience, but you've already sort of done that. This man doesn't respect you, doesn't understand trans people, and doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Run. While you still can.

Another vote here for run! It doesn't sound like he has a clue about therapy at ALL.

I'd vote with my feet and RUN

This guy either hasn't a clue about dealing with GD, or is one of those that think we can be "cured". Plus throw in what sounds like an unwanted "teaching experience" for a group of newbies w/o prior consent is very unprofessional. Even if the situation was in a "Teaching Hospital" where the fine print says it can happen. In an OR sure if others are watching likely a not a big deal. Far different from a therapist who in theory knows a lot about how people my feel about having their private thoughts invaded

A professional would at least mention who those other people are, and why they are there...and then ask you if it's ok. Ideally, he would've asked you the session BEFORE it happened, so you don't walk in unaware until it's too late.

So many warning flags...Yes, run!

I've never seen that kind of behavior from a therapist, bringing in strangers. The closest I had was the teaching hospital where my endo is chief of endocrinology. When he wanted to bring in a resident and a student I was asked, politely, if I would allow them in. We had a nice discussion. I educated them a bit, which is the point after all, and they complimented me on how well I understand our condition. Bringing in a bunch of mute strangers is very inappropriate, particularly if they're not introduced. If you're in the US it could also be illegal as it potentially breaks HIPAA.

You're nicer than me. I would've asked about all the people and requested them to not be there. I mean your suppose to trust this doctor and your letting out a big part of yourself. Sounds strange.

The others are right, plus you should find out who those others are.  You did not say that was ok, and you dont have to.  Plus if this person hashed over old stuff for his "class"  why should you pay for it.  Id refuse to pay for that session!  Basically he should be reported.. 

I need to clarify a few things (sorry I left these important things out).

1)He is a therapist in a public hospital-clinic

2)I don't pay anything

3)As I wrote, I read about him from some other trans-girls who found him "ok" in order to get the letter

(4) You people are right; I should definitely have asked why all those people were in there and maybe requested for them to leave. I don't know why I didn't do it at that time.
Last time I almost assumed a "defensive" position.

Well that to me suggests you'll get a letter eventually. The only question left is can you afford to see someone else? If you can you might want to consider it. If you can't then you should at least speak up for yourself.

 

Quote from: Dee Marshall on July 03, 2015, 10:00:42 AM
I've never seen that kind of behavior from a therapist, bringing in strangers. The closest I had was the teaching hospital where my endo is chief of endocrinology. When he wanted to bring in a resident and a student I was asked, politely, if I would allow them in. We had a nice discussion. I educated them a bit, which is the point after all, and they complimented me on how well I understand our condition. Bringing in a bunch of mute strangers is very inappropriate, particularly if they're not introduced. If you're in the US it could also be illegal as it potentially breaks HIPAA.

This ^^^

Run away

I don't know what country you're from, but in the US at least, bringing those people without informing you or warning you in was probably illegal.  I'd complain to the hospital.  Depending on how that went, I'd start looking for a lawyer.

One good thing happened in that visit: he didn't tell your mom anything about you.  That would have been a violation of doctor/patient confidentiality.

I've had trainees attend my medical care several times.  Every time, the doctor has said something like "Hi, these kids are following me around as a part of their residence program.  Are you comfortable with them observing this visit?"  As far as I know, you should have a say about anybody being there, unless you are evaluated as being a risk to the doctor.