Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Pax Fidelis on July 19, 2015, 09:04:43 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello Everyone!
Post by: Pax Fidelis on July 19, 2015, 09:04:43 PM
Post by: Pax Fidelis on July 19, 2015, 09:04:43 PM
I'm Carl,
I'm a 25 year old FtM and I live in Canada. For anybody interested about the particulars, I've been on T for around 11 months now (started August 22nd, 2015! T Anniversary soon!) and I just got top surgery a little more than a month ago (June 10th with Dr.Mclean of Mississauga, Ontario.) I'm lucky to have a support group local to me, but I always like having other trans people to talk to and share experiences with.
I came out to my parents a little more than two years ago. My Dad was great about it right away, he just said he wanted me to do whatever made me happy. It just took him some time to wrap his head around it (he told my therapist he "didn't care if my daughter is a lesbian." So I just had to help him grasp the concept a little better.)
My two younger brothers didn't care at all and immediately switched pronouns and names. My eldest brother is supportive too, but we've never talked face-to-face about it. Honestly I think it all makes him uncomfortable but he's trying and that's all I can ask.
My mother was having a really hard time with it (I think largely because I was supposed to be her only daughter) but she has finally started to come around. However she still doesn't want my grandmother to know. At this point my beard is growing in, my voice is changed, and I've had surgery, so she's going to have to know soon. But I've decided to leave that ball in her court for now.
I have a wonderful girlfriend who has been just the most amazing, supportive partner I could ever ask for. She actually gives me my shot once a week and took care of me after top surgery. She met me pre-transition and has been by my side since, along with her mother and her sister. I kind of hit the jackpot with SO's because me being trans has just never been a roadblock for our relationship.
I've had a very long struggle with self-confidence (some of it because of dysphoria, some of it because of Social Anxiety issues, some of it just the way I am) that I am now slowly making headway with. I'm always happy to chat with anyone and I'm a good listener, so feel free to send me a message whenever. I'm looking forward to being a part of the forum!
I'm a 25 year old FtM and I live in Canada. For anybody interested about the particulars, I've been on T for around 11 months now (started August 22nd, 2015! T Anniversary soon!) and I just got top surgery a little more than a month ago (June 10th with Dr.Mclean of Mississauga, Ontario.) I'm lucky to have a support group local to me, but I always like having other trans people to talk to and share experiences with.
I came out to my parents a little more than two years ago. My Dad was great about it right away, he just said he wanted me to do whatever made me happy. It just took him some time to wrap his head around it (he told my therapist he "didn't care if my daughter is a lesbian." So I just had to help him grasp the concept a little better.)
My two younger brothers didn't care at all and immediately switched pronouns and names. My eldest brother is supportive too, but we've never talked face-to-face about it. Honestly I think it all makes him uncomfortable but he's trying and that's all I can ask.
My mother was having a really hard time with it (I think largely because I was supposed to be her only daughter) but she has finally started to come around. However she still doesn't want my grandmother to know. At this point my beard is growing in, my voice is changed, and I've had surgery, so she's going to have to know soon. But I've decided to leave that ball in her court for now.
I have a wonderful girlfriend who has been just the most amazing, supportive partner I could ever ask for. She actually gives me my shot once a week and took care of me after top surgery. She met me pre-transition and has been by my side since, along with her mother and her sister. I kind of hit the jackpot with SO's because me being trans has just never been a roadblock for our relationship.
I've had a very long struggle with self-confidence (some of it because of dysphoria, some of it because of Social Anxiety issues, some of it just the way I am) that I am now slowly making headway with. I'm always happy to chat with anyone and I'm a good listener, so feel free to send me a message whenever. I'm looking forward to being a part of the forum!
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: JeffJefftyJeff on July 19, 2015, 09:16:44 PM
Post by: JeffJefftyJeff on July 19, 2015, 09:16:44 PM
Hey Carl! Your story sounds honestly just... fantastic, though I'm sorry to hear your mother has struggled with it - it's really wonderful about your brothers and your dad, though. And congratulations on that one year anniversary coming up - so looking forward to getting there myself someday! I've seen a few other guys from Canada, I think, and in general everyone here has been really friendly and welcoming since I joined a few days ago. I'm sure one of the mods/admins will come in with all the helpful links, but for my own (distinctly un-helpful!) part, welcome to the forums!
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: katrinaw on July 19, 2015, 09:22:28 PM
Post by: katrinaw on July 19, 2015, 09:22:28 PM
Warm welcome to Susan's Carl
Please check out a bit of housekeeping that will help you around the forum's
Good you have a good support network... Moms can take this either full on and great, or what!! and really struggle... give her time to adapt more... but it seems you are heading into a great journey forward
look forward to seeing you about the forum's
L Katy :-*
Please check out a bit of housekeeping that will help you around the forum's
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Good you have a good support network... Moms can take this either full on and great, or what!! and really struggle... give her time to adapt more... but it seems you are heading into a great journey forward
look forward to seeing you about the forum's
L Katy :-*
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: Mariah on July 19, 2015, 10:16:17 PM
Post by: Mariah on July 19, 2015, 10:16:17 PM
Hi Carl, welcome to Susan's. It's wonderful that your girl friend and most around you have been supportive. As Katy said, I would give your mom time to adapt. It can be hard for them to lose there only daughter. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: V M on July 19, 2015, 10:46:46 PM
Post by: V M on July 19, 2015, 10:46:46 PM
Hi Carl :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: Pax Fidelis on July 19, 2015, 10:58:14 PM
Post by: Pax Fidelis on July 19, 2015, 10:58:14 PM
Thanks for the welcome everyone!
My Mom is actually much better now than she was. She was just ignoring it and pretending it wasn't happening. She's getting counselling now. I think her issue was largely that she wouldn't allow herself to come to terms with it, and now that I've had surgery she can see how much happier I am (and she can see that this is definitely not a phase.) She's letting herself be upset about it, she seems to understand that she can support me and still mourn the loss of what she thought was her daughter. So whereas a few months ago I dreaded and avoided going home, now I can go home and feel comfortable and talk openly about it. It just took her a little longer but she's good now.
My Mom is actually much better now than she was. She was just ignoring it and pretending it wasn't happening. She's getting counselling now. I think her issue was largely that she wouldn't allow herself to come to terms with it, and now that I've had surgery she can see how much happier I am (and she can see that this is definitely not a phase.) She's letting herself be upset about it, she seems to understand that she can support me and still mourn the loss of what she thought was her daughter. So whereas a few months ago I dreaded and avoided going home, now I can go home and feel comfortable and talk openly about it. It just took her a little longer but she's good now.
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: Mariah on July 19, 2015, 11:11:10 PM
Post by: Mariah on July 19, 2015, 11:11:10 PM
Carl, that is wonderful to hear. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: Hello Everyone!
Post by: MsMarlo on July 24, 2015, 02:47:46 PM
Post by: MsMarlo on July 24, 2015, 02:47:46 PM
Hi Pax. I often wonder how my parents would be with it all, although I do believe that my mom had a really good idea about it. I know that she is happy about it and although my dad may have been a little harder to win over, I think he is pretty happy with it too; the key being to the latter that I am happy.
They may not be in this world anymore, but I know they are with me every step of the way.
They may not be in this world anymore, but I know they are with me every step of the way.