Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, ello..

I am a transfemale that can at times be "in between" but not really.. I always identify as a woman and there is no confusion there.. Claims of being two spirited because I was born biologically male but I identify and know myself as a woman, hormonally transitioning and the entire nine yards.. So in my understanding I am, and sorta always two spirited. I will be a passing transsexual at some turning point of my life but will know I came to be because of my journey and birth..

I have fit "well" into the masculine figure, even passing well and without question as to who I am.. You just would not know, glad I am not a closet case to it all, not a jab but some people come to terms at a later age, with a family and group of friends... I feel for those people, but they usually seem mature and able to go through the process fairly easy, possibly with some denial...

Embracing my masculinity and femininity is how I feel "in between", and I am awkward towards tucking, because face it, it is not always just an "easy walk to walk".. Ouch.. I am dysphoric towards my genitals and actually do not like to view them at all. I do pleasure myself but about it.. It even frustrates me after that I used it.. It is an urge most of the time.. Now I hardly if ever do, and thank Life for hormones.. I can just not think about it.. =) times do arise but aye..

So berdache, I found about this doing some "soul searching" within myself. Years ago, but especially now it keeps coming up to me, even to see politicians and just common people arguing, knowing that the past existed and that there is much suppressed history, almost as if one can live out of the most common paradigm. Then throw in religion and the no separation of Church and State.. OK, sure every culture and religion can promote an enlightening spark, intellectual thought, etc.. but there is more, has always been more than one way of living than just your bigotry.. I give you respect where due, you may still be intelligent, have your ways about you..

Especially that there are literal intersex people, mine is in my head and "spiritually", but others have female and male reproductive systems, genitals.. Whatever else is out there.. A clear demonstration that is world in more complex than f this and f that.. -____- but that is never brought up in conversations, though it can be described as a clear deformity or intersex condition... well can people look at our brains, test our blood, chromosomes.. We live in many coexisting spectrums, not just a gender and sexual, but is this topic..

We have so much pressure to be this and be that.. Then you qualify as this or that.. Still so rigid, still.. Get out of every box, is my best choice.. I label it soul alchemy what life is.. Not just mind but spirit, YES my transition is the most clear demonstration of this "alchemical" experience... Literal in some way.. The change of your scent and pheromones, muscle and fat.. My hips seem to even "fit" me now.. The way my body movements are.. Hair, nails, skin.. =)

In aims to be a true chemist, learn expand.. College is my interest.. Participate in sports, track and field.. Even to "run with the men".. Hurdle fan.. I did want to join the military.. Meh..

Much love

I wana join the military too one day and I love doing m.m.a with friends. Doesn't mean I consider myself male at all. I see your point, as as a native Canadian have heard that word before