Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: sparrow on July 24, 2015, 12:54:26 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Subgenders
Post by: sparrow on July 24, 2015, 12:54:26 AM
Post by: sparrow on July 24, 2015, 12:54:26 AM
So, I've recently updated my profile to say "Gender: tomboy." This is a major revelation for me, as I was previously suffering quite a lot of gender fluidity (note, this isn't a bad thing for some people, but it was absolutely awful for me), and my dysphoria is waaay down.
The funny thing about this personal revelation is that previously, I had a small epiphany: our culture already recognizes nonbinary gender! First up, "girly girls" and "manly men." These recognize a shading of gender. Neat. But we actually have nouns to describe what I will call "subgenders."
Really, what is a gender? It's a rough category that people fit into. Genders are identified with behaviors, mannerisms, clothing styles, social and societal roles, and body shapes. People of a particular gender prefer to associate with like-gendered individuals and groups. Male and Female are just two genders, but our society already recognizes lots of smaller categories among those two "umbrella" genders.
Among men, I've noticed: jocks, bears, twinks. Among women: bull dykes, tomboys, granola girls. Unfortunately, several are tied to sexuality... but I've met straight women I'd describe as bulls (for example)... and where 90% of women prefer men, perhaps 90% of bulls prefer women? The relationship between gender, under this definition, and "sexuality" (genders that one is attracted to) becomes a very interesting and complicated issue.
While most bears I've met proudly describe themselves as such, the remainder of these labels are used to describe other people, and usually in a derogatory fashion. What a shame! If we could convince "cisgendered" folk to describe themselves with terms like these, it would really blow the lid off of the gender binary! Social transition would become much easier for everybody, and the number of recognized subgenders would grow. We'd still have issues with pronouns, of course... but I'd like to think that asking people about pronoun choice would become the norm.
So, months after I had those thoughts, I was struggling with my gender identity. I'm definitely not a male, but I don't really feel like "owning" the female label. I described myself as genderfluid at the time, but didn't really feel like that was right. But then, I found myself talking about subgenders with another friend... and tomboy really does fit. I kinda hate the word, 'cause it contains my given name, but whatever. It fits. I'm sticking with it. I can't make the world recognize 'tomboy' as a separate gender... but I can start with me.
The funny thing about this personal revelation is that previously, I had a small epiphany: our culture already recognizes nonbinary gender! First up, "girly girls" and "manly men." These recognize a shading of gender. Neat. But we actually have nouns to describe what I will call "subgenders."
Really, what is a gender? It's a rough category that people fit into. Genders are identified with behaviors, mannerisms, clothing styles, social and societal roles, and body shapes. People of a particular gender prefer to associate with like-gendered individuals and groups. Male and Female are just two genders, but our society already recognizes lots of smaller categories among those two "umbrella" genders.
Among men, I've noticed: jocks, bears, twinks. Among women: bull dykes, tomboys, granola girls. Unfortunately, several are tied to sexuality... but I've met straight women I'd describe as bulls (for example)... and where 90% of women prefer men, perhaps 90% of bulls prefer women? The relationship between gender, under this definition, and "sexuality" (genders that one is attracted to) becomes a very interesting and complicated issue.
While most bears I've met proudly describe themselves as such, the remainder of these labels are used to describe other people, and usually in a derogatory fashion. What a shame! If we could convince "cisgendered" folk to describe themselves with terms like these, it would really blow the lid off of the gender binary! Social transition would become much easier for everybody, and the number of recognized subgenders would grow. We'd still have issues with pronouns, of course... but I'd like to think that asking people about pronoun choice would become the norm.
So, months after I had those thoughts, I was struggling with my gender identity. I'm definitely not a male, but I don't really feel like "owning" the female label. I described myself as genderfluid at the time, but didn't really feel like that was right. But then, I found myself talking about subgenders with another friend... and tomboy really does fit. I kinda hate the word, 'cause it contains my given name, but whatever. It fits. I'm sticking with it. I can't make the world recognize 'tomboy' as a separate gender... but I can start with me.
Title: Re: Subgenders
Post by: Allison Wunderland on July 24, 2015, 01:54:36 PM
Post by: Allison Wunderland on July 24, 2015, 01:54:36 PM
There's SEX . . . Penis + Vagina = species perpetuation . . .
ORIENTATION . . . Whomever / however you choose to share your genitals with.
GENDER . . . "presentation" Judith Butler calls this "gender perforance."
Gender performance as "non-hetero normative" (Butler, supra) falls in the ambi-guous realm between cis-M and cis-F. Except for skirts/dresses, this cis-M pays attention to clothing labels, M/F, integrating both in a practical, style, oblivious to "labels."
Not "girlie" here -- what I refer to as "giddy" -- I'm not "female" just like my dear colleague is "soft-butch" and not male. We both wear the same stuff. We mix clothes gender seamlessly.
NOBODY NOTICES NOBODY CARES !!!
Don't fret about labels! "To thine own self be true." --
Friends who speak German --
Der Mann -- masculine gender noun
Die Frau, Frauline -- fem. nouns
Das Kinder -- "kid" "child" NEUTER gender noun
Gender-wise, I'm just fine being 67 yr. old kid . . . ☆☆☆☆☆
ORIENTATION . . . Whomever / however you choose to share your genitals with.
GENDER . . . "presentation" Judith Butler calls this "gender perforance."
Gender performance as "non-hetero normative" (Butler, supra) falls in the ambi-guous realm between cis-M and cis-F. Except for skirts/dresses, this cis-M pays attention to clothing labels, M/F, integrating both in a practical, style, oblivious to "labels."
Not "girlie" here -- what I refer to as "giddy" -- I'm not "female" just like my dear colleague is "soft-butch" and not male. We both wear the same stuff. We mix clothes gender seamlessly.
NOBODY NOTICES NOBODY CARES !!!
Don't fret about labels! "To thine own self be true." --
Friends who speak German --
Der Mann -- masculine gender noun
Die Frau, Frauline -- fem. nouns
Das Kinder -- "kid" "child" NEUTER gender noun
Gender-wise, I'm just fine being 67 yr. old kid . . . ☆☆☆☆☆