Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: jayrobbin on July 25, 2015, 07:27:28 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello there :D
Post by: jayrobbin on July 25, 2015, 07:27:28 AM
Post by: jayrobbin on July 25, 2015, 07:27:28 AM
Hey there, I'm Jay. I'm pre-T and pre-top surgery.
For most of my life, I've felt awkward in my body and awkward with the 'role' I was supposed to follow. Girls toys were boring, and I had no idea what to do with Barbies. Skirts and dresses felt wrong, only tee shirts and jeans made me happy.
When my breasts came in, all I wanted was for them to go away. I'd haunch over and cover them, as my neighbor pointed out to me once a few years back over cards and beer. (I don't even remember doing that tbh).
Intimacy has always been tough. The only time it ever worked for me was when I was roleplaying with one of my partners as a guy. When I'm in the mood, I want to do things I cannot physically do for lack of organs. The way I am attracted to men isn't the way most girls are. The way I'm attracted to GIRLS isn't how girls are.
I felt like I was just miming being a girl. I looked at magazines and such to try to understand what I was doing so wrong, but no matter what, I always felt like I was just putting on a mask. I tried to be my birth gender, but I was never happy. I could never get it right.
I was friends with mostly boys as a child, but once we became teens, they either stopped hanging out with me because I was a 'girl', or they became interested in me in ways I didn't like.
This is who I am though. My Ma wanted a daughter but she raised her a son.
For most of my life, I've felt awkward in my body and awkward with the 'role' I was supposed to follow. Girls toys were boring, and I had no idea what to do with Barbies. Skirts and dresses felt wrong, only tee shirts and jeans made me happy.
When my breasts came in, all I wanted was for them to go away. I'd haunch over and cover them, as my neighbor pointed out to me once a few years back over cards and beer. (I don't even remember doing that tbh).
Intimacy has always been tough. The only time it ever worked for me was when I was roleplaying with one of my partners as a guy. When I'm in the mood, I want to do things I cannot physically do for lack of organs. The way I am attracted to men isn't the way most girls are. The way I'm attracted to GIRLS isn't how girls are.
I felt like I was just miming being a girl. I looked at magazines and such to try to understand what I was doing so wrong, but no matter what, I always felt like I was just putting on a mask. I tried to be my birth gender, but I was never happy. I could never get it right.
I was friends with mostly boys as a child, but once we became teens, they either stopped hanging out with me because I was a 'girl', or they became interested in me in ways I didn't like.
This is who I am though. My Ma wanted a daughter but she raised her a son.
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: LordKAT on July 25, 2015, 07:42:34 AM
Post by: LordKAT on July 25, 2015, 07:42:34 AM
Hi Jay, welcome to Susan's.
Your feelings are understandable and shared by many, including myself. I'm glad you found your way here so share with people sharing the same struggles and pain.
To get you started on the right foot, here are some links to site rules and some answers to often asked questions.
I look forward to hearing more from you in the future. If you have questions, please ask.
Your feelings are understandable and shared by many, including myself. I'm glad you found your way here so share with people sharing the same struggles and pain.
To get you started on the right foot, here are some links to site rules and some answers to often asked questions.
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
I look forward to hearing more from you in the future. If you have questions, please ask.
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: V M on July 25, 2015, 11:04:51 PM
Post by: V M on July 25, 2015, 11:04:51 PM
Hi Jay :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: katrinaw on July 26, 2015, 01:50:41 AM
Post by: katrinaw on July 26, 2015, 01:50:41 AM
A big warm welcome to Susan's Jay
Oh, I must admit, from the other way about, I can relate to all of that... :-\
You are certainly not alone and you find all the support and friendship's here... good luck with your journey and look forward to seeing you about the forum's..
L Katy :-*
Oh, I must admit, from the other way about, I can relate to all of that... :-\
You are certainly not alone and you find all the support and friendship's here... good luck with your journey and look forward to seeing you about the forum's..
L Katy :-*
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: jayrobbin on July 26, 2015, 03:04:17 AM
Post by: jayrobbin on July 26, 2015, 03:04:17 AM
Thanks for the welcomes and the links! I will be sure to check them all out!
I look forward to posting in this forum and talking to people that understand! :D
I look forward to posting in this forum and talking to people that understand! :D
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: Rachel on July 26, 2015, 07:03:34 AM
Post by: Rachel on July 26, 2015, 07:03:34 AM
Welcome to Susan's.
Title: Re: Hello there :D
Post by: Mariah on July 26, 2015, 04:56:54 PM
Post by: Mariah on July 26, 2015, 04:56:54 PM
Hi Jay, welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Mariah