Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi All,

Well, I thought things were going pretty good even tho it was only my second session, my therapist again said, "Ok, so you are already on HRT?" to which I replied, "No, I told you that last time I was here." She gave me an odd look and continued with some other questions, which I answered truthfully. She asked if any relatives were Bipolar, to which I told her "Only my step sister as far as I know" I then told her I know I am not Bipolar, that I have friends that are treated for that, it is very different than my issue, very different. She said, "Sometimes Bipolar can mimic GD" I told her I think that is hogwash and if anything GD could cause Bipolar or other mental disorders. We agreed to disagree. But I agreed to answer her Bipolar diagnostic questions. I answered her Bipolar Quiz. I failed on the sleeping part. I don't sleep normal hours. Never have. She wanted to talk more about my sleeping, I did not. I brought up hormones.

This is where things got interesting. She asked me "Are you taking over the counter hormones that you got from a friend or the internet?" I answered "No, I told you all the medicine I am on including the vitamins and supplements I take, I gave you a list. Why would I even be here if I was self medicating?" to which she said "Well..." she then drew an hourglass from my hips up to my breasts in the air, cupping her hands at the end "How do you explain all this? How do you have breasts? Do you have estrogen in your system right now?" I said "I guess a little, did you not get my lab work from my doctor yet? I had all my hormone levels tested a few weeks back? I don't know what the numbers are, but I do want to know" at this point I felt like she was accusing me of something. I said "Look they grew in, maybe I wished them there, I don't know but this is part of what my Doctor is looking into. I had breast buds when I hit puberty but I got rid of them." she said "If you were growing breasts at puberty, you can't just get rid of them." to which I replied, "Yes I did, by changing my diet and doing testosterone supplements my friends got from Mexico, as well as thousands upon thousands of pushups and bench presses, I was scared to have breasts back then, I am not scared now." she said, "Yes... see, you told me this at our last session, that you got illegal supplements when you were young. If you did it then what is stopping you now? to which I replied "Ok fine, thanks for the Idea, I guess I will go look on the internet for my HRT needs." She says, very boldly "Do not self medicate, is is very dangerous and I will report that to your Doctor, look I will need to evaluate you for at least 3 months before even considering having you start HRT perhaps longer, and if I see any changes that indicate you may be taking illegal hormones I will prevent you from getting HRT thru your doctor." At this point I was getting very angry. I said "Look, I know I can get hormones and take them without a Doctor or therapist, but I know that is stupid and possibly even fatal. I am not stupid... Do you know what Intersex is? You said you did when we first met but I think you don't have a clue. All I have done is change my diet and exercise routines and stopped fighting off my female soul and you are accusing me of taking hormones. Telling me if there are more changes you will prevent me from getting HRT. I can't stop the changes, it is who I am! I think you DO need to talk to my Doctor, instead of making blind assumptions. I am paying out of pocket for theses sessions , dammit! You are waisting my time and money. You spent 20 minutes trying to diagnose me with Bipolar disorder, that is not why I was sent to you!" She said, "ohhhh... I guess you probably won't want to keep me as a therapist." She could tell I was pissed. But I calmed down, smiled and said  "No I will keep you, I like you, up until the point where you started accusing me of things. Look, I signed permission for you to get my medical records the first day I was here, why have you not got them, all my hormone levels are in my lab reports, maybe you should check those. I came to this session prepared, maybe you need to get your ->-bleeped-<- together, and you will be prepared for our next session." her mouth dropped open. I walked out.

I called my Doctor today and she was shocked that I was treated that way. She says there has been no request for my records yet, she is faxing them to the therapist today with a long letter. I wish I could read what that letter says, my Doctor was not happy with the way I was drilled by my therapist. Can a therapist dump me?

in the therapists defense,...

I am hella sexy. :p
I have B cup breasts, pushing for Cs.
I have very little body hair. Naturally.
I GLOW all feminin even with little or no makeup.
My butt and hips are getting nice and curvy.
I have nice legs.
I have long beautiful hair.
I have dazzling bright blue eyes.
and I am stuck on myself!, teehee,  Ever since I accepted my femininity I love the woman I see emerging! I never liked pictures of me before, I love them now, and in the mirror I see the woman I am becoming more often than the man I once was.

:-*
-Jade

Yes your therapist can dump you and as your are paying the bill, she better shape up or you should consider another therapist. We do lie to therapist and I have seen it but you have done everything possible to prove you are telling truth. If this therapist fails to check out what you have presented then she isn't working in your best interest and it's time you find somebody else.

I don't understand why you want to continue seeing this therapist. She sounds incompetent. I'd withdraw her access to your records, find another one, and threaten to report her if she tries to interfere with you after this. Find the other one first, just in case you can't.

The only thing in her favor would be that if she thinks you are lying then she's wondering what else you're lying about, and it sounds like she has some reason to wonder if you are lying. She should do her homework though and her response to it is terrible.

I told my psychiatrist and endocrinologist I was doing DIY, and neither had any problem with it, and why should they? I was seeing them so I could stop it (not so much the psych, I was depressed). I even told my psych I was going to tell him the truth about everything, even if it meant he'd never sign SRS letters for me (didn't need HRT by then), because I'd just go elsewhere to get them. I was there for therapy not permission, and I'm in charge. Again no problems. Both these people have helped me enormously.

I had to wait months to see her, I have called around and all the gender therapists in my area seem to be booked months out. I had another therapist before this one, she claimed help LGBT issues on her site and when I talked to her on the phone, after 6 expensive sessions over 3 months, she dumped me, saying "I don't feel I am qualified to help you, I have only worked with post transition people. I am sorry." I asked for my money back, she laughed.

I guess maybe I come off as a "know it all", or maybe they are threatened by my intelligence, but I have always had issues with therapists.

It has been almost a year now since my Doctor says I should be on HRT, but the condition is that I have a therapist who can help as I transition. I don't know what to do, if I go to a different therapist it could be many more months before I can get HRT. I am getting old too fast...

:(

here are some online therapists for example... there are more...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=187135.0


hugs

Quote from: Jade_404 on July 29, 2015, 04:42:39 PM
Hi All,

Well, I thought things were going pretty good even tho it was only my second session, my therapist again said, "Ok, so you are already on HRT?" to which I replied, "No, I told you that last time I was here." She gave me an odd look and continued with some other questions, which I answered truthfully. She asked if any relatives were Bipolar, to which I told her "Only my step sister as far as I know" I then told her I know I am not Bipolar, that I have friends that are treated for that, it is very different than my issue, very different. She said, "Sometimes Bipolar can mimic GD" I told her I think that is hogwash and if anything GD could cause Bipolar or other mental disorders. We agreed to disagree. But I agreed to answer her Bipolar diagnostic questions. I answered her Bipolar Quiz. I failed on the sleeping part. I don't sleep normal hours. Never have. She wanted to talk more about my sleeping, I did not. I brought up hormones.

This is where things got interesting. She asked me "Are you taking over the counter hormones that you got from a friend or the internet?" I answered "No, I told you all the medicine I am on including the vitamins and supplements I take, I gave you a list. Why would I even be here if I was self medicating?" to which she said "Well..." she then drew an hourglass from my hips up to my breasts in the air, cupping her hands at the end "How do you explain all this? How do you have breasts? Do you have estrogen in your system right now?" I said "I guess a little, did you not get my lab work from my doctor yet? I had all my hormone levels tested a few weeks back? I don't know what the numbers are, but I do want to know" at this point I felt like she was accusing me of something. I said "Look they grew in, maybe I wished them there, I don't know but this is part of what my Doctor is looking into. I had breast buds when I hit puberty but I got rid of them." she said "If you were growing breasts at puberty, you can't just get rid of them." to which I replied, "Yes I did, by changing my diet and doing testosterone supplements my friends got from Mexico, as well as thousands upon thousands of pushups and bench presses, I was scared to have breasts back then, I am not scared now." she said, "Yes... see, you told me this at our last session, that you got illegal supplements when you were young. If you did it then what is stopping you now? to which I replied "Ok fine, thanks for the Idea, I guess I will go look on the internet for my HRT needs." She says, very boldly "Do not self medicate, is is very dangerous and I will report that to your Doctor, look I will need to evaluate you for at least 3 months before even considering having you start HRT perhaps longer, and if I see any changes that indicate you may be taking illegal hormones I will prevent you from getting HRT thru your doctor." At this point I was getting very angry. I said "Look, I know I can get hormones and take them without a Doctor or therapist, but I know that is stupid and possibly even fatal. I am not stupid... Do you know what Intersex is? You said you did when we first met but I think you don't have a clue. All I have done is change my diet and exercise routines and stopped fighting off my female soul and you are accusing me of taking hormones. Telling me if there are more changes you will prevent me from getting HRT. I can't stop the changes, it is who I am! I think you DO need to talk to my Doctor, instead of making blind assumptions. I am paying out of pocket for theses sessions , dammit! You are waisting my time and money. You spent 20 minutes trying to diagnose me with Bipolar disorder, that is not why I was sent to you!" She said, "ohhhh... I guess you probably won't want to keep me as a therapist." She could tell I was pissed. But I calmed down, smiled and said  "No I will keep you, I like you, up until the point where you started accusing me of things. Look, I signed permission for you to get my medical records the first day I was here, why have you not got them, all my hormone levels are in my lab reports, maybe you should check those. I came to this session prepared, maybe you need to get your ->-bleeped-<- together, and you will be prepared for our next session." her mouth dropped open. I walked out.

I called my Doctor today and she was shocked that I was treated that way. She says there has been no request for my records yet, she is faxing them to the therapist today with a long letter. I wish I could read what that letter says, my Doctor was not happy with the way I was drilled by my therapist. Can a therapist dump me?

in the therapists defense,...

I am hella sexy. :p
I have B cup breasts, pushing for Cs.
I have very little body hair. Naturally.
I GLOW all feminin even with little or no makeup.
My butt and hips are getting nice and curvy.
I have nice legs.
I have long beautiful hair.
I have dazzling bright blue eyes.
and I am stuck on myself!, teehee,  Ever since I accepted my femininity I love the woman I see emerging! I never liked pictures of me before, I love them now, and in the mirror I see the woman I am becoming more often than the man I once was.

:-*
-Jade

Holy ->-bleeped-<-. Classic gatekeeper, but worse than anything I've ever heard of. This is utterly insane. I'm very sorry that you had to go through that. I bet there was some jealousy somewhere in there on her part.

Quote from: Laura_7 on July 29, 2015, 05:43:16 PM
here are some online therapists for example... there are more...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=187135.0


hugs

Thank you so much for the links!

hugs,
-Jade

Quote from: AnonyMs on July 29, 2015, 05:14:30 PM
I was there for therapy not permission, and I'm in charge.

This is my new motto! I will say it in therapy! thank you so much!

hugs,
-Jade

Quote from: Jasper93 on July 29, 2015, 06:17:14 PM
Holy ->-bleeped-<-. Classic gatekeeper, but worse than anything I've ever heard of. This is utterly insane. I'm very sorry that you had to go through that. I bet there was some jealousy somewhere in there on her part.

Yeah, I kind of got a sense of possible jealousy... She is about my age, but I look way better than her. I am in much better shape. She kept eyeballing me. lol

hugs,
-Jade

I've a few suggestions.

The doctor is asking you to have a therapist, but that's his choice. There's no legal requirement for it and he can prescribe anytime he wants. Can you persuade him otherwise? You can't find one and its causing you problems. Or find another doctor.

The online idea is good, and its one I'd have used if I needed to. You can also get SRS letters that way, and I believe some of them are quite flexible.

Can you travel elsewhere either to get a therapists letter or informed consent HRT? I expect someone here could tell where where its easy. Once you're on HRT for a while you don't need to see the doctor very often, especially if you can get on implants (not to start with though). I was considering traveling internationally (Thailand) to do this at one point but luckily I didn't need to.

Have you said where you are? Perhaps a post asking if there's anyone good in your location?

Once you're started on prescribed HRT your current doctor, or a new one, might be much more amenable to continuing to supervise it. I'm not sure but they may view it as someone else having taking responsibility for it, and no risk to them.

If you've not done it already I'd suggest reading WPATH SOC 7 very carefully. If you had actually already been on HRT the proper response would have been to skip the therapist letter and start on prescription HRT. Its harm minimization, and again shows what a poor therapist you have. I know someone who's done that.

Therapy for three months? Sheesh....I got my letter on the fourth visit. "Informed consent"...and if you sound like a know-it-all, as long as your knowledge is accurate and open to new insights, you should be good-to-go for HRT.

On a different note...it's not necessary to quote a lengthy first post in a thread, especially on the first page and only 5 posts down... ;)

I'm late to add to this threadbut I am appalled by your therapist's comments. I gave up finding a knowledegable therapist on gender issues in my city and turned to the internet and the list of therapist in this Forum.  I have had 3 therapist, the first I just didn't like the second was a great lady  whom I was with for 2 years but she developed family issues and was not relaible. Finally, found a male therapist who had loads of experience and he has not only been my therapist but my advisor and without him my journey would not be as easy.

Remember you are paying and if you are not comfortable then dump him like a hot potato. They are ment to be your friend in time of need, your advsor to listen and guide you. NOT one that makes you feel miserable and angry.

Holy cow, I would be out of that office and never looking back.

Anyone who would threaten to withold HRT for any reason should not be treating trans people. She's not doing you a favor by hooking you up with a letter, she's a paid professional (I'd say trained, but given the story, I'm skeptical of that) and has a responsibility to recommend you be given HRT if it is medically necessary. She's basically threatening to engage in malpractice.

Here are some resources concerning informed consent:
https://www.susans.org/wiki/index.php/Informed_consent

There are many more... local endos and docs...
and plannedparenthood might be a possibility...


hugs

Your therapist sounds bi polar. I would get a new one.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I would absolutely RUN from this person. She sounds like a control freak!!! Not only that, she seems to have little to no understanding of your situation. Or, of trans care in general.

Like me, you may have been DES exposed or are possibly intersex. I suspect I'm one of the two but never bothered to investigate further. I had breast buds as an adolescent to teen, gynecomastia and low T all my life, including the reproductive effects. I also had hourglass dimensions before I even started HRT, and some of my bone structure is feminine such as my arms.

I did informed consent HRT after I was getting nowhere with my first therapist. My first therapist wasn't really a gatekeeper, she was more of a foot dragger. I took control, fired her, set up informed consent and found a new therapist.

And yes, people do self medicate. I am not condoning it, but why doesn't she get it? We get desperate because we figure there is no way out. Maybe our parents and yes those damned gatekeepers are holding us back... the more we do, the more likely we are to do something really, realy bad to ourselves. Those who hold us back have NO clue.

Quote from: jeni on July 30, 2015, 01:47:06 AM
Holy cow, I would be out of that office and never looking back.

Anyone who would threaten to withold HRT for any reason should not be treating trans people. She's not doing you a favor by hooking you up with a letter, she's a paid professional (I'd say trained, but given the story, I'm skeptical of that) and has a responsibility to recommend you be given HRT if it is medically necessary. She's basically threatening to engage in malpractice.

No kidding! If I experienced half of what went on in that therapy session I would seriously be marching down to the licensing board right after and making a complaint.

Quote from: slickpixie on July 30, 2015, 09:08:41 AM
Your therapist sounds bi polar. I would get a new one.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

LOL, yeah she does seem bi polar, on our first meeting she was telling me I should be on HRT and how much it will help me, then second meeting accusing me of doing HRT without a doctor and threatening to prevent me from getting it. Seemed like I was talking to a different person.

hugs,

Jade

Wow that's so crazy. You know it's a game she is playing to trip you up. To see if your story changes.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

None the less I would find a new therapist if possible because this sounds like she could do more harm than good.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Agreed that the therapist sounds like a nutjob.  Don't go back.  Find someone else.  She'll more likely do more harm than good - if not to your mind, then at least to your wallet.

Thank you everyone for your advice and concerns. Just the responses here alone have been better therapy for me than anything I could get from this therapist. I am looking for a new one. Due to my health condition, chronic Lymes Disease, any testosterone increase in my system causes the bacteria to flourish, making me VERY sick. My Doctor knows this and wants to put me on blockers and estrogen, but says I have to have a therapist because the hormones will make me feel different. She says 4 sessions and she will start me on HRT, I don't think she is even looking for a "letter" or permission from the therapist, just that I have one to go to when I get hormonal. This will be my second therapists and I get this feeling that they do not even bother to look at my medical records. I am very upfront to them about my goals and conditions, medications I am on and my mental state. Each time they initially act like they are willing to council me and that they understand the issue. Each time they take my money... Each time they veer off into investigating other potential mental health issues, I humor them at first but then state that I am here for HRT counseling and until I get that I am not willing to look into depression, anxiety , bi-polar, or any other mental health issue. Get me on the HRT first, and then if I have any mental health issues after, we can try to deal with them. I think one major thing the therapists are picking up on is that I am totally happy, perhaps this confuses them. They expect that I would be distressed , depressed , suicidal, or something, but what they don't realize (since they didn't bother to go over my records) I suffered for 4 years with debilitating Lymes Disease, most times I could not get out of bed. I just wanted to die. I cold not eat, was rushed to ER a few times, once I was puking up blood for days. I am finally feeling better since last fall and I am back to doing some of the things I used to love. Yes! I am happy, elated in fact. I thought I would never be well again. I have a whole new outlook on life, I think Lymes may have killed off the "man" in me and the stronger "woman" has emerged and taken my life back!

I guess my fear is that I spend more time to find a therapist, pay them a few sessions for them to just be like... "Why are you so ->-bleeped-<-ing happy, something ain't right..." Am I not allowed to be happy that through my sickness and recovery I found my true self? Am I not allowed to be excited about the future? Should I be pretending to be all sad and misunderstood? I have nothing but support from my friends and family, why do these therapists want to make me miserable?

again thanks everyone!

much love,

Jade

Quote from: Jade_404 on July 30, 2015, 10:31:55 AM
"Why are you so ->-bleeped-<-ing happy, something ain't right..." Am I not allowed to be happy that through my sickness and recovery I found my true self? Am I not allowed to be excited about the future? Should I be pretending to be all sad and misunderstood? I have nothing but support from my friends and family, why do these therapists want to make me miserable?

I am post surgical 33 years and I still walk around with a smile stuck on my face. After going through hard times, having things go right in your life makes you high on life. Doesn't cost you a cent, it's non addictive, always available and legal. I am glad you have discovered this. Only problem with this is sometimes people ask me what I am smiling about. They find it hard to believe people can be happy all the time.

Now I don't understand why your doctor doesn't just give you HRT anyway. Surely its better to fix a physical sickness you actually have than worry about what might or might not happen in your head in the future? He can always monitor you and stop it you start going crazy.

He could also start you on low dose and see how that goes for a while to minimize risk.

Quote from: AnonyMs on July 30, 2015, 01:10:19 PM
Now I don't understand why your doctor doesn't just give you HRT anyway. Surely its better to fix a physical sickness you actually have than worry about what might or might not happen in your head in the future? He can always monitor you and stop it you start going crazy.

He could also start you on low dose and see how that goes for a while to minimize risk.

I plan to talk to my Doctor about this next week at my appointment. She works with other transgender / intersex patients and has for many years. She feels it would be a good idea for me to have a good relationship with a gender therapists because as she says, a lot of bottled up feelings will probably come rushing out when you get hormonal and it is important to have someone to talk to about those feelings. I want to agree with her, but so far in all my life, every therapists I met seems like a basket case to me. Like they don't have their own ->-bleeped-<- together. ugh.

-Jade

That is awful. I would get a new therapist but that's just me. Do be careful with her. I listened to a transwoman recently who's therapist bullied her for years by denying her HRT and restricting her HRT and then finally by coercing her into getting a surgery that she wasn't ready for, by a doctor the transwoman didn't want to use. The end result was that she no longer has any feeling down below. I'm glad to hear that your doctor seems to understand the importance of this issue that occurred.

Quote from: Jade_404 on July 30, 2015, 10:31:55 AM
Each time they take my money... Each time they veer off into investigating other potential mental health issues, I humor them at first but then state that I am here for HRT counseling and until I get that I am not willing to look into depression, anxiety , bi-polar, or any other mental health issue.

Except that checking for comorbid mental health issues is exactly what is required under the WPATH SoC's... No wonder your therapist is screwing you around, you won't do what is required.

QuoteI guess my fear is that I spend more time to find a therapist, pay them a few sessions for them to just be like... "Why are you so ->-bleeped-<-ing happy, something ain't right..." Am I not allowed to be happy that through my sickness and recovery I found my true self? Am I not allowed to be excited about the future? Should I be pretending to be all sad and misunderstood? I have nothing but support from my friends and family, why do these therapists want to make me miserable?

I've always been pretty happy, but I also let my therapist do his thing and check for other possible issues. At the time, the previous version of the Standards of Care were in effect, so I did 3 months therapy before I got my letter - but once the 3 months were up, I got it as soon as I asked for it.

Quote from: Jade_404 on July 30, 2015, 01:53:48 PM
I plan to talk to my Doctor about this next week at my appointment. She works with other transgender / intersex patients and has for many years. She feels it would be a good idea for me to have a good relationship with a gender therapists because as she says, a lot of bottled up feelings will probably come rushing out when you get hormonal and it is important to have someone to talk to about those feelings. I want to agree with her, but so far in all my life, every therapists I met seems like a basket case to me. Like they don't have their own ->-bleeped-<- together. ugh.

Its possible you may have a problem with your doctor as well. I'd guess you trust her because she works with other trans patients, etc. In my experience most doctors range from incompetent to adequate, a few good, and there's only a couple I'd rate as great. It's much the same as any other profession. I don't really trust any of them, and double check everything I can (I'm not really paranoid, I asked my psych; you can't be too careful).

There's a clinic in Sydney that is known for their expertise in transgender medicine and less than 10 years ago I visited and asked what they prescribe for HRT. The doctor there told me premarin, which is basically obsolete for years now, and dismissed my concerns. So much for expertise, and I don't trust the rest of the place if they work with someone like that.

I'm not sure about other people but I never had any emotional problems from HRT. I do get a bit more emotional, but its just typical female stuff. The mental problems I've had are serious, but completely due to not going on HRT, then not increasing HRT, and not transitioning. All self-inflicted.

Quote from: kelly_aus on July 30, 2015, 05:06:43 PM
Except that checking for comorbid mental health issues is exactly what is required under the WPATH SoC's... No wonder your therapist is screwing you around, you won't do what is required.

While that might be true, it's also an excuse than can used to justify just about any mistreatment by the therapist. In the context of the rest of it, assuming is all representative, I don't think that's the correct interpretation, and regardless of the truth of it that doesn't mean she shouldn't have HRT. There's no way of knowing of course (and I'm not trying to start an argument as that would be pointless).

Quote from: kelly_aus on July 30, 2015, 05:06:43 PM
Except that checking for comorbid mental health issues is exactly what is required under the WPATH SoC's... No wonder your therapist is screwing you around, you won't do what is required.

Sure, I get this, and I had no problem in my first visit (1 an 1/2 hours) answering all her questions regarding my mental health. When on the second visit she is spending over 20 minutes more, asking some of the same questions. Then she wanted to dig into my sleep habits, I told her it was time to discuss HRT, not possible sleep disorders. Then her tone changes. I AM trying to do what is required. I won't allow a doctor or therapists to convince me to take medicine I don't need. I like my system running clean, especially since I am healthy again. And my sleeping patterns are the same as when I was a teen, I sleep when I am tired, normally for 2-4 hours and then I am up back at it again, I am always awake at 3AM. There is no problem, this is my normal. I don't need sleep evaluation, or sleeping meds. I don't need to spend more money to discuss my chosen sleeping habits.

-Jade

Quote from: Jade_404 on July 30, 2015, 07:01:05 PM
Sure, I get this, and I had no problem in my first visit (1 an 1/2 hours) answering all her questions regarding my mental health. When on the second visit she is spending over 20 minutes more, asking some of the same questions. Then she wanted to dig into my sleep habits, I told her it was time to discuss HRT, not possible sleep disorders. Then her tone changes. I AM trying to do what is required. I won't allow a doctor or therapists to convince me to take medicine I don't need. I like my system running clean, especially since I am healthy again. And my sleeping patterns are the same as when I was a teen, I sleep when I am tired, normally for 2-4 hours and then I am up back at it again, I am always awake at 3AM. There is no problem, this is my normal. I don't need sleep evaluation, or sleeping meds. I don't need to spend more money to discuss my chosen sleeping habits.

-Jade

It would be funny it it weren't for the serious nature of this. We sound very alike, and I'm not putting up with any crap from doctors either. I like your attitude. I have really messed up sleep habits, probably from stress. I sleep when I'm tired, wake when I'm not, and there's no fixed time of day for either. I don't recall there being any issue with my psych apart from trying to book appointments when I was up during his working hours.

I should say that didn't have any problems apart from depression and being transgender, though he did wonder if I was paranoid for a while. I'm just difficult and I like it that way.

Hi,

To focus on something else....

Your body shape is wrong and you're growing breasts.  Something is different with your physiology.  While the "cure " may very well be estrogen, taking it will cloud the issue and make diagnosis more difficult.  If you want to find out why this is happening, seeing a specialist may be prudent prior to starting HRT. 

On the other hand, you can just stop HRT for a while and then see a specialist. 

I went into my psychologist, said "My body is changing into a woman and I'm going with it."  Started HRT four weeks later.  Went off for eleven weeks visiting Mayo several months later.  Then went back on....

Just a thought....

My other thought is your old therapist is not a good therapist.  The term "idiot" comes to mind.

Hugs,

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on July 30, 2015, 08:13:05 PM
"My body is changing into a woman and I'm going with it."

Cool cool, this is basically what I said to my Doctor, and we have been doing many tests and checking if there is anything wrong with me. I had 14 different labs done in the past month, as well as an ultrasound of my testicles, because she felt a lump in one. They say it is just a cyst and nothing to worry about about unless it starts growing or becomes painful, also that it would not cause hormonal changes. My labs are all back and my Doctor says I look healthy according to all the reports. She said my cholesterol numbers could be brought down, but they are only slightly high. I love pie :) It must be the pie... hehe. 

One thing that has been mentioned it that a benign cyst could be pressing my pituitary gland and making it malfunction. I think my Doctor is checking everything else first. How do they even check that, an MRI? It still wouldn't explain my girly features as I started puberty. Would it?

Hugs,

Jade

I am going to get my hormone levels from my Doctor and post them in this thread tomorrow. Is this ok to do? She told me my levels look "good". Good for a man? for a woman? idk.

thanks all,

Jade

You can post your levels......

How old are you?

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on July 30, 2015, 10:27:28 PM
You can post your levels......

How old are you?

Jen

41 years.

Quote from: slickpixie on July 30, 2015, 09:08:41 AM
Your therapist sounds bi polar. I would get a new one.

Exactly :)

Here are the numbers from my tests I took last month. As my doctor said, they look good. She says I have to cut back on pie, hehe.
__________
estrdol 27
total testostorone 748
prolactin 7.0

cholesterol 172
triglycerides 213
hdl 32
ldl 109
__________

I have had these results sent to my therapists so she can stop accusing me of using meds. But, I do not know normal range numbers for a 41 year old male. Can anyone here tell me if I have feminizing numbers? I did explain to my Dr and Therapists that My boobs and body plumped out about a year ago when I got better and my appetite increased. I have not seen any new changes lately aside from my breast shape is smoother lately. I can't wait to see what HRT does for me. Just wish the therapists would not block me...

Thanks all,

Jade

Well for a female prolactin levels should range from 2-29 you don't want to be higher than 29 normal prolactin for males is 2-18


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Your triglycerides are quite high as far as estriol levels this is the info I found I hope this helps IMG_0854.PNG


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: slickpixie on July 31, 2015, 10:16:19 AM
Your triglycerides are quite high as far as estriol levels this is the info I found I hope this helps IMG_0854.PNG


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I do not see the image you linked.
Yes , my doctor said triglycerides were high. Not sure why tho.

Ok I will type it out for you hang on dear


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: slickpixie on July 31, 2015, 10:21:51 AM
Ok I will type it out for you hang on dear


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No problem :)

Also, I do smoke... I know its bad and I aim to quit before HRT. I do not drink alcohol, and I weigh 129.2 pounds, I am 5 foot 8 inches tall.. I was told that I am underweight and I need to gain some healthy weight. I eat about 3 slices of fruit pie a day, I can't help it it is so yummy! Usually Apple, Pineapple, blueberry or cherry pie. Maybe I need to cut back.. darn

hugs,
Jade

Ok between the age of 20-29 a female should range between 27-149pg/ml depends on her menstruated cycle


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So you are coming along our levels can go as high as 210 defends on our body and age pre menopause or post menopause


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The pie is why your triglycerides are high the triglycerides are amount of fat


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

But your not fat just fat can build up in the blood system like sugar


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you for the info Slickpixie!  :-*

Yes, I am cutting back on the pies. I will try a piece every other day.  :(

again Thanks for taking the time and linking those norms.

hugs

-Jade

Average adult female testosterone levels should range from 15-70


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah you gain healthy Weight by eating protein drink milk it's good for women

I like to help people no mater race sex or creed. It's no problem on my end have a blessed day sweet heart
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Jade I looked up natural ways to increase estrogen levels they say eat tofu and drink soy milk


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: slickpixie on July 31, 2015, 11:17:04 AM
Hi Jade I looked up natural ways to increase estrogen levels they say eat tofu and drink soy milk


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I do drink soy milk daily, and have for over year now.I also grow my own spearmint, and have tea a few times a day. Both these things in my diet helped me to get well, after Lymes almost killed me.  I told this to both my Doctor and therapists. My Doctor says soy and spearmint are healthy but are probably not causing feminization. Thanks for the info :)

hugs,
Jade

ESTRADIOL
  pg/ml
  Women (> 18 years old)   
     Ovulatory Peak  130-370
     Luteal Phase  70-250
     Post-Menopausal  15-60
  Male  15-60

With injections levels can be well over 600 during the first days...
it depends on the way of application, applications like implants and injections are considered safer...

during pregnancy levels are way higher...

you could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193039.msg1721685.html#msg1721685

If not on hrt I'd look up side effects of products like linseed... and wouldn't exaggerate with quantity... in really large quantities they all are suposed to have side effects...


hugs

You're welcome hugs


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I wouldn't put too much faith in soy milk and other stuff. Yes, they may work to some degree but it's really more of a miss than a hit.

I say the best thing is to find a therapist who will work to get you on HRT.

Quote from: iKate on July 31, 2015, 01:46:37 PM
I wouldn't put too much faith in soy milk and other stuff. Yes, they may work to some degree but it's really more of a miss than a hit.

I say the best thing is to find a therapist who will work to get you on HRT.

Yes, I plan to go on HRT even if it is not with my current therapist. I don't want a DIY hormone regimen. I have a good diet that includes soy milk, vegetables , occasional meats and eggs, flax seed in my salad dressing, Olive oil, Milk, Coffee, Mint tea,pasta, bread, chocolate,  and PIES. Writing that made me hungry, haha. Anyway , I keep to my diet because it makes me feel good and not sick. When I slip up, perhaps at a BBQ or something, I feel sick for a while after. I also never eat from restaurants anymore, it makes me fell ill for days.

hugs,
Jade

Quote from: Laura_7 on July 31, 2015, 12:46:34 PM
ESTRADIOL
  pg/ml
  Women (> 18 years old)   
     Ovulatory Peak  130-370
     Luteal Phase  70-250
     Post-Menopausal  15-60
  Male  15-60

With injections levels can be well over 600 during the first days...
it depends on the way of application, applications like implants and injections are considered safer...

during pregnancy levels are way higher...

you could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193039.msg1721685.html#msg1721685

If not on hrt I'd look up side effects of products like linseed... and wouldn't exaggerate with quantity... in really large quantities they all are suposed to have side effects...


hugs

This is great info. The linked had info on massage, well yeah I do play with them. I like them, they make me happy. When I was a kid and had breasts forming, I was scolded about playing with them.. I complained they itched and hurt, when I was rubbing them a lot. My uncle said stop touching them or it could make them puff out more. He said to not even massage them, to do push ups. So yeah, now I like rubbing them, I like the feeling. And when they hurt i massage them, I looked up proper techniques online a while ago.

hugs,

Jade  8)

Jade, is your therapist well versed in transgender therapy?  That is really important; I know everyone has to start somewhere, but it sounds like this one isn't even on the launching pad.  Try and find one that is local; you may have to travel a bit but it will be worth it. 

Quote from: MsMarlo on July 31, 2015, 03:05:25 PM
Jade, is your therapist well versed in transgender therapy?  That is really important; I know everyone has to start somewhere, but it sounds like this one isn't even on the launching pad.  Try and find one that is local; you may have to travel a bit but it will be worth it.

She was supposed to be one of the better ones in the area for gender therapy. I think she may have seeded the reviews online.. She is a quack!

hugs,
Jade

UPDATE: (The majority of you were spot on! She was not looking to help me at all. Only take my money while denying me HRT, I may need to report her)

First off, I was late to my appointment, 15 mins. No excuses, It was pouring rain, and at the main lights, Cops and Ambulance were going thru and messed up the light signals
, took almost 10 mins before we got thru the light, and then everyone was driving 20mph slower than normal on the highway. ' What could I do?

Right aways she is nasty "You are late, this had better not happen, I still expect my full check for a full session, you have the check?

I said "sure no problem, it is full payment. I understand that. Sorry I was late, I actually left early and happen to get stuck at a light due to an accident. Nothing I could do. Sorry"

She continued for 5 minutes about how she can not help me if I am not there for a full session... How there is no acceptable excuse. bla. bla. bla,. I tried to interrupt, saying "sorry" a bunch.

Finally I say "Look I was late, and it can't happen again, we established that, I payed you the full amount, and we now waisted 5 more minutes on you telling me ALL the reasons I can not be late. Got it! I won't be late again. Can we move on?"

Quiet for 2 minutes

So she asks me "Ok, so how are things with you? is there something you want to talk about"

"Comfort", I reply.

She looks at me queerly, "What do you mean comfort?"

I tell her "I came to you for guidance and counseling for my transition, I am not here for your permission to go on HRT. I am going on HRT and I want a Therapists I feel comfortable with to be there for me when I transition."

She asks "Well are you uncomfortable with me? are you saying you want to get a different therapists."

I reply "Look, I thought you were alright but I feel that you don't trust me, and yet I have no reason to lie to you.  You made me uncomfortable by accusing me of already doing hormones, you said it 4 times in our last session."

She says," This is the same questions I ask other patients"

I say," Oh, and you ask them 4 times and on the last time, draw out an hourglass  stopping at my breast area, and then say "explain all this and why do you have boobs?" "

She says "I never said that!"

I say "What!, you most definitely did, and made me very uncomfortable. With your line of questioning , each worded a bit different , you were insinuating that I was on hormones, you were trying to manipulate me in to saying untruths."

She says "You are the one trying to manipulate people, you came in here day 1 asking about HRT, acting like you know everything, now you are telling me that you will get HRT with or without a letter from me, I will be calling your doctor for sure"

I said "Go for it! She sent me here for HRT, she wanted me to establish a good relationship with a Therapists because she is ready to start me on HRT, I am as healthy as I been in years and she says we are good to go. Best to start it now before a lymes disease relapse. Did you get the paperwork she sent over?"

Her "Yes"

Me "Did you read it?"

pause...

Her "No, not yet"

me "Then how can you say I am manipulating you? If you read the documents you can see my hormone levels are normal, proof I am not taking meds, and there is a letter from my doctor explaining the hormonal balance vs lymes disease issue. and what her agenda is"

Her "This is not about lymes disease. This is about your mental health."

Me "Wait, you are wrong, lymes disease mimics all kinds of mental and hormonal issues. Just to name a few, bi-polar, depression, anxiety can all be caused by lymes bacteria flourishing. Lymes eats testosterone and collagen causing many issues. There is a whole list. Try researching it sometime, it is a fascinating bacterium.

Her "You are here about mental health issues"

Me "No, I am here about HRT, my mental health is fine. Yes, a few years back when I was very sick, I was depressed, maybe bi-polar, had a drinking problem... but not now, I feel great, I don't drink, I eat right." I look forward to the future again, I am happy until I visit you."

Her "I think you still have some underlying mental health issues that need to be evaluated"

Me "Of course you do, If there is some mental disorder you can label me with, you will do so, because that means more money for you. Well, I tell you what! I don't like pills or drugs and I will not be coerced into taking any drugs for mental conditions that you "think" exist. I would obviously get a second opinion. So whats the prognosis? Am I bi-polar , depressed, manic? what?"

Her "You are one of them for sure, just look how you are acting, so argumentative."

Me "argumentative? I am just stating facts.  You seem like you want to deter me and argue about things you know nothing about. You are hired to provide me therapy, to council me and be my friend.

Her "Oh no! we are not friends. I am only your therapists"

me "My doctor is my friend, I trust her. How can I trust you if we are not friends? If you don't even trust me ?" I trust my dentist, we are friends to an extent. The opposite of friends is enemies, I won't take advice about my mental state from an enemy.

her "I am your therapists and the law says we can not have a relationship beyond that. I do not become friends with my clients"

me "Yeah, I read that too and it says a romantic or sexual relationship, it says nothing about friends. It does not say you should treat me inhumanly.  So you treat all your clients this badly?, interesting"

her ... silence

me "Does it bother you that I am more intelligent than you? I can see it bothers you, but I have an allergy to BS, I am not going to put up with it from anyone."

Her (scribbling in pad) "Ahh see there , delusions of grandeur"

me "haha seriously? you are now calling facts ,delusions. Pick any test, even an advanced psychology test and I will score higher than you without studying, I guarantee it.

her "Superiority Complex!"

me "Yes, you have had one since I met you, I was hoping we could work thru it."

silence...

me " So tell me, do you think I am bipolar, is that the one you are going with. I need to know so I can get a second opinion from my other therapist."

her "Could be"

me "So your not going to tell me? 't feels like you don't even care about me, care about my well being at all. I told some of my friends about our last encounter and the cisgender ones say that it sounds like you don't know how to help me or want to. My transgender friends say you are acting as a "Gatekeeper". The worse they have heard of."

Very angrily she states "I do not care what your friends think."

I said "Yeah, I see this, and you don't care what my Doctor says, and you don't care what my lab results say, you didn't care to read them. You don't care what I say. You don't care about me at all , only my money.

her "You don't even care to show up for you counseling on time, so apparently you don't care about your own well being"

Me "Oh back to this again, I already apologized profusely for that, are we going to go in circles now?"

her "You have been late to every one of our sessions!"

me " That is a blatant lie! I was early to all my other sessions, you let me in late. That is the second time you lied to my face today, I can never trust you!"

her "we are done, get out of my office NOW or I am calling the police"

me "wow really, well I am putting a stop payment on that check?"

her " If you do I will contact you Doctor and trust me, I will make sure you NEVER get HRT"

me " pfft, ha, good luck with that, you are a nut!"

her "Get out of my office right NOW! I am dialing the police now"

me "later... you know you don't have to be such a bitch"

I closed the door softly (wanted to slam it but didn't). I called my Doctors office right away and told them to not give her any more Info, that she is no longer my therapist. I briefed them on what happened, and they want to hear more about it on my appointment Friday, the were not happy with her. I also went to the bank and payed to have the check stopped.I am looking into filing a formal complaint. I may also post some online reviews to warn others.

I am actually quite calm about the whole ordeal, I figured I would give her the benefit of the doubt and try one more session with her. What a mistake that was! I should of listened to the majority of you folks here! That woman is a quack!

Hugs,
-Jade

I would strongly be temped to report her but it might be a good idea until you have a discussion with your other doctor before making the decision. The reason why this is going to needed is because you stopped payment on the check and you are going to need a recorded record should she decide to continue the attack. A report on file and a examination of her profession record will stand up better in court if needed.

Quote from: Jade_404 on August 11, 2015, 10:14:21 PM
UPDATE:

Wow Jade, that therapist is really a piece of work.   I hope you have better luck with your next therapist.

All the best,
Paige :)

If I had her as my therapist I would have dropped her and found a new one, all the while trying to get my money back from the previous one. My therapist was really kind, and cared about what I had to say.

That's what therapists are for, to care for you, not about what they think. They are there to improve your own state of mind.

My Doctor prescribed me Estradiol today! Yay Yay Yay! ;D

She told me the Therapists told her the she thinks I am bi-polar, but my doctor said "Hogwash, I have know this patient for a long time and there is no signs of bi-polar!" Sure I sleep odd hours, that was the only indicator...  anyway  Yay Yay YaY!!!!!!   Thank you all for your support! 

-Jade

Quote from: AnonyMs on July 29, 2015, 05:14:30 PM

I was there for therapy not permission, and I'm in charge.

I said this to my former therapists, she did not like it one bit. HAHA "She told me she would contact my doctor and block my access to HRT forever,,  well that didn't work.. see https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194005.msg1729228.html#msg1729228

Thanks so much for the advice!

:-*
-Jade

Quote from: Jade_404 on August 14, 2015, 05:01:35 PM
My Doctor prescribed me Estradiol today! Yay Yay Yay! ;D

She told me the Therapists told her the she thinks I am bi-polar, but my doctor said "Hogwash, I have know this patient for a long time and there is no signs of bi-polar!" Sure I sleep odd hours, that was the only indicator...  anyway  Yay Yay YaY!!!!!!   Thank you all for your support! 

-Jade

Congratulations   :)


hugs

Honestly I think it's kinda ridiculous that we even need to see therapists as if we have a mental disorder. I mean it should be that we read the risks, and yes... for HRT male to female and female to male... there are some pretty hefty risks. And as adults we should be able to say "I want to continue to take the hormone therapy." Of if one reads the risks, and decides against it... that should be their prerogative, their choice.

I say try talking to your doctor stating that you are having no luck whatsoever with the therapists.
See what he/ she can do for you then.

this is why i dont trust therapists at all. when i was younger i was bullied alot and because i fought back,i was the one with issues and was  forced by the school that my mom to put me in therapy. i met with two different therapists for 3 yrs. and they didnt help me all they wanted to do was drug me so i would be easier prey for the bullies,i told em no drugs and they should be treating the bullies not me. it was because of their attitude i never told them the truth,just told em what they wanted to hear. to this day i still dont trust psychologists at all.

Quote from: cheryl reeves on August 15, 2015, 01:59:43 PM
this is why i dont trust therapists at all. when i was younger i was bullied alot and because i fought back,i was the one with issues and was  forced by the school that my mom to put me in therapy. i met with two different therapists for 3 yrs. and they didnt help me all they wanted to do was drug me so i would be easier prey for the bullies,i told em no drugs and they should be treating the bullies not me. it was because of their attitude i never told them the truth,just told em what they wanted to hear. to this day i still dont trust psychologists at all.

well please be aware there are vastly different groups of people...
there are psychologists with possibly a dr background, who might be more prone giving drugs...

and there are counselors who are there to help uncover what their client feels, and help them along.
Also, you are no longer there because you were sent there.
You'd be there because you want to find out more about yourself, and want the help of a person aquainted with transgender issues.

Quote from: Laura_7 on August 15, 2015, 02:17:15 PM
well please be aware there are vastly different groups of people...
there are psychologists with possibly a dr background, who might be more prone giving drugs...

and there are counselors who are there to help uncover what their client feels, and help them along.
Also, you are no longer there because you were sent there.
You'd be there because you want to find out more about yourself, and want the help of a person aquainted with transgender issues.

Agreed. I did go to her because like you say "want the help of a person aquainted with transgender issues". In the future I will turn and run if I encounter another Therapist that has such superiority complex and control freak issues. I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt, but she proved over and over that she did not care about my well being and just wanted to control MY future. Glad to be rid of her. Still contemplating filing a formal complaint, it is sad to think she might be wrecking up some other Trans* persons head. I hear she works with mostly young people, people who may not know how to stand up for themselves yet and can be manipulated by an "authority" figure. Sad.

hugs,
-Jade

Quote from: jessilynn on August 15, 2015, 01:23:41 PM

I say try talking to your doctor stating that you are having no luck whatsoever with the therapists.
See what he/ she can do for you then.

Yes, this is what I did, I am now on HRT per my Doctors orders. The therapist tried to tell my Dr that I had issues, my doctor knows me and said it was BS. Everything is good now ;)

hugs
-Jade

i know whats wrong with me,why do i need to spend money for someone to tell me what i already know and have known since i was 13. i agree some people can be helped through therapy,i had to see a psychatrist when i was trying for social security he asked me if i ever had any trauma in my life for i suffer from ptsd,i asked him how that could be for i never had any trauma,i knew not to say anything about being transgendered for that was my business. im a weird person for i acess the situation at hand,make a decision and move on,i dont scare or panic,i face fear head on,thats the problem bullies failed to realize i dont scare.

Quote from: cheryl reeves on August 16, 2015, 03:03:09 AM
i know whats wrong with me,why do i need to spend money for someone to tell me what i already know and have known since i was 13. i agree some people can be helped through therapy,i had to see a psychatrist when i was trying for social security he asked me if i ever had any trauma in my life for i suffer from ptsd,i asked him how that could be for i never had any trauma,i knew not to say anything about being transgendered for that was my business. im a weird person for i acess the situation at hand,make a decision and move on,i dont scare or panic,i face fear head on,thats the problem bullies failed to realize i dont scare.

My first 4 years of therapy were pretty useless and it was found the only thing that was wrong with me was that I wanted to be a girl. I told them that on the first day, first session with both of the doctors. The last 4 years of therapy with the third doctor was some of the best money I spent because I was able to deal with the many small issues from the past and I adjusted to the new life. Post surgical I was in better mental health than most CIS.

I have heard about people who are unhappy after SRS and every so often we read a story about somebody post surgical committing suicide. Are you willing to take the risk of living with an unresolved issue that could cause trouble in the future? I am glad I didn't.

Quote from: Dena on August 16, 2015, 09:47:13 AM
I have heard about people who are unhappy after SRS and every so often we read a story about somebody post surgical committing suicide. Are you willing to take the risk of living with an unresolved issue that could cause trouble in the future? I am glad I didn't.

With all surgeries there can be additionally a post op depession.
So knowing helps, and reaching out and looking for help then.

Quote from: cheryl reeves on August 16, 2015, 03:03:09 AM
i know whats wrong with me,why do i need to spend money for someone to tell me what i already know and have known since i was 13. i agree some people can be helped through therapy,i had to see a psychatrist when i was trying for social security he asked me if i ever had any trauma in my life for i suffer from ptsd,i asked him how that could be for i never had any trauma,i knew not to say anything about being transgendered for that was my business. im a weird person for i acess the situation at hand,make a decision and move on,i dont scare or panic,i face fear head on,thats the problem bullies failed to realize i dont scare.

Well quite a few people find it helpful to go to a gender therapist, knowledgable in the process and possibly with local endos etc.

Again its usually not psychatrists but counselors for gender questions.
It might be different in other countries depending on the role of the therapist.

hugs

Quote from: Jade_404 on August 15, 2015, 02:29:24 PM
Agreed. I did go to her because like you say "want the help of a person aquainted with transgender issues". In the future I will turn and run if I encounter another Therapist that has such superiority complex and control freak issues. I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt, but she proved over and over that she did not care about my well being and just wanted to control MY future. Glad to be rid of her. Still contemplating filing a formal complaint, it is sad to think she might be wrecking up some other Trans* persons head. I hear she works with mostly young people, people who may not know how to stand up for themselves yet and can be manipulated by an "authority" figure. Sad.

hugs,
-Jade

I would because we don't need people like that in the field. It deters people from getting help because they think "all therapists are like that". The more terrible ones you expose the easier it is for the good ones to come out.

Congratulations.

Way to stand on what is correct.

Hugs,

Jen

i would suggest change psychiaterist . in my case 1st psychiatrist wasted my one and a half year while dumping me as schiznofraniac ,second the worst of all rejected Transsexuality itself and told you can't alter with nature and need to be castrated to male beahavior suppressing your desires because your society wants you to be so.it made things worse with my family as they are still convinced by them that i have obcession for gender and need some kind of rehabitalation with strict survillance. with greate difficulty i took my chances and found third one who seemed to be updated in terms of Gender. and with grod's grace he took me out from quick sand.

still many psychiaterist doe'snt agree and some in developing countries on cultural ground do not accept trans.

My Doctor has me on E (11 days now) and she is not requiring me to see a therapist. Yay. I feel stable and happy. If things change with my mood and I feel I need to talk it out with someone, I may look for another therapist, but for now things are good.

The Therapist that this thread was originally about has been dumped, she is a menace to the trans community and I am glad to be rid of her.

hugs!,
-Jade
:-*