Susan's Place Transgender Resources

ok so the sec def (secretary of defense) has stated that within 6 months the ban will be lifted, and we service members will be able to serve openly.
so one: should i just say screw it and see if i can start my HRT, i know its isnt an end all but itll be a step in the right direction. cuz i have an appointment with my therapist soon and i was going to ask whats the worst that could happen if i started them, cuz they cant kick me out now.
two: i know this is dumb but im still attracted to women dont get me wrong, im bisexual and have been for only the forgotten gods know. but i still seem to find myself drawn to women more then men. would i be classified as lesbian, cuz my lesbian friend actually asked that and i was like.... i dont know that is an excelen t question i want to say yes cuz i am a women but....
three: if your active duty and on here and reading this and are excited for the lift just give me a hellya its taken to long and way to much nail biting. i know im tired of living two lives, but its sad it took the threat of a bill to force the pentigon to act; that made the sec def actually do something.
four: i need to kinda tell some of my chain of command so when the ban is lifted its not a complete bomb shell advice on how to do this.
finally and im sorry for being a pain: its taken me somewhere round 5 years to get to the decision that im at to finally move forward and start HRT. at first i kinda just fought myself, then i sort of accepted it. slowly learned to listen to myself, and talked to my now husband(ftm) about it. kindof read into what it was but im to scatter brained and active duty soooo that kinda fell to the wayside. then i started to wear some womens clothing. i started to feel more comfortable in them still not quite in dresses cuz i have a lumberjacks frame. i have been doing this for the last year or so and ive been learning to walk more feminine and role my shoulders back and down. i feel comfortable with my little sister calling me her big sister. i know im transgender, i know im supposed to be a women. has anyone else gone threw similar experience. (i tryed to cut it short sorry)

I don't know anything about the military, so I can't speak to the consequences of waiting vs. starting HRT immediately.

But I've been reading your posts for months now, and I really hope you decide its safe to go ahead. You deserve to be yourself.

Hugs and good luck.

tbh if i finally get to go forward with HRT i think it will help. even if i cant come out and live openly at first ill still move forward right. and i thank you for the advice you have given over the months. i dont have anyone else to talk to. not yet atleast my little sister is cool with me and shes starting to really get into my life. i think she want to mve in with me so she can get instate for college (total user lol) i love her. and i love everyone who has helped me on this site. you have all helped me threw alot. and im going to continue needing you all, so please dont give up on me yet. i try and pass this site onto all me friends and anyone whos military.

I was never in the military but my roommate was in the air force and had many warnings.

1. Until the order is real, they could charge you with damaging government property. The punishment was pretty strict when she was in there so it is a risk you will take if they call you in for a physical  in 4 months.

2. Gender identity and Sexual preference are independent of each other. If you continue to favor women after transitioning, yes that makes you a lesbian but around here that puts you in good company. A number of MTFs are still with their wife. What happens behind closed doors, none of my business. That will not make any difference on HRT or SRS.

3. A few may take you up on the offer. There are several active duty people out there.

4. If the band is lifted, the military will have forms you can fill out in triplicates that will allow you to inform command of what you are doing. Wait until the band is lifted and follow procedure.

5. We all have appearances issues. I look more like a telephone pole. Mostly it a matter of using all the tricks that CIS women use to appear feminine because very few of them have perfect bodies. When you are ready to work on appearance, there are plenty of people here to help you. Just remember many things most of us can't wear and conservative office dress covers up many flaws. Much dress wear could be worn to an office and while I will be adding casual wear shortly, it will be loose fitting in order to cover my shoulders and lack of shape.

http://www.advocate.com/transgender/2015/07/30/us-militarys-transgender-ban-begins-fall-monday

this is a link to the current statement with the sec def. more or less the only way a trans person will be discharged is by his hand. a CO can no longer do it like they used to. and no branch wants to be the last one to discharge a trans person anyway it would look so bad. thus the im not afraid to talk to my chain. im not going to live openly just inform them that i am, so when the bomb goes off they can brace for shock. as for the HRT the worst that can happen is yeah my DOC says dont yo dare if you do that they will send you to mast for massive ->-bleeped-<- storm of the century. best case shes all i cant provide you with it and i am required to tell you not to but i cant tell you that you cant do it if you catch my drift. looooop holes. if it aint in black and white it aint a rule. gote to keep your self sane some how right. im rocking 7 inches of hair right now. (only aloud 4)

I am a military spouse of a Reservist. I am on Tricare Reserve Select as insurance.

My current Counselor has diagnosed me as 302.85 - Gender Dysphoria. After our first meeting, she asked me if it was ok to diagnose me as this, as she would have just billed it out as a 309 - Adjustment Disorder, in order to get Tricare to pay for it.

However, the rep at TriWest told the counselor that as of (at the time) two weeks ago, they were accepting 302.85 as an acceptable billing code. After confirming at [mods please delete this message if the following link is acceptable, delete the link if it is not acceptable]

http://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/IsItCovered/SexChanges.aspx

It appears they will cover SRS, however, FFS or BA not be as it is considered Cosmetic.

http://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/IsItCovered/CosmeticSurgery.aspx

http://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/IsItCovered/PsychogenicSurgery.aspx

HOWEVER,

A (weak) argument could be made that such surgeries are "medically necessary and a proven procedure".

http://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/IsItCovered/Surgery.aspx

Here's a confusing part... everything HRT appears to be covered under "Hormone Replacement Therapy"

http://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/IsItCovered/HormoneReplacementTherapy.aspx

What is interesting here is that I think there's an incongruous reasoning here, as they don't specify whether or not this is for menopausal ciswomen/aging men, or to conform to correct gender.


With all that being said, I think that things may change with the policies here, as these were promulgated in 2009, and only slightly updated for 2015. At least for the Tricare part of it, You'd be in the clear to at least start your Pre-HRT counseling, and let's see what happens. I intend to be starting HRT quite soon (probably before Halloween), so I'll follow up and let you know all the Tricare fun I have.

i want to say u are right that these are still in effect but im sure they will be changing drastically once this whole thing with the sec def finally sets in. and as far as i know there isnt a law against getting a legal script as long as i dont live openly yet.

This is amazing I'm getting a " if you start HRT, that's when we are over!" From my husband! So my super great I finally get some ->-bleeped-<-ing good news that can ->-bleeped-<-ing help me move forward with my life gets taken out from under me like a rug from under an unstable 5 year old! Amazing way to go babe! Way to make my week crash and burn! Sorry for the language

When the reality of transitioning becomes far more then some abstract thought experiment expect peoples reactions to change. Every step I have taken over these past 6 years has sent me, and especially my wife, into a WTF whirlpool.

It takes time for new realities to set in

your right, i mean i dont want to loose him but there is no way around this. im going to start HRT eventually, so its inevitable that he will have to leave. and im not going to not start HRT to keep him around. i refuse to be miserable to keep him around it just seem counter productive.

i told my first class he was like yeah i kinda figured that. and so did the other guy i work with that i told neither one are going to talk. i trust both of them.

not i just have to see about this HRT. if the military (being that others are already doing this) will turn a blind eye or allow me to pay out of pocket for a real script from a real doc. one step at a time.

by the forgotten gods im getting nervous!

Quote from: billiexero on August 03, 2015, 09:03:55 PM
by the forgotten gods im getting nervous!

That's sort of a good thing, right?

It means you're facing the truth and meeting it head on. That's the direction of strength, isn't it?

Lol yes for the first time in my life I think I'm actually doing something for myself. Making myself happy. I mean yes I've baught myself ->-bleeped-<- but that was filling the hole. I think I'm finally going to start to build that bridge to the other side. Where I've been waiting patiently in the darkness to be found and brought into the light. No longer having to pretend or hide behind masks of deformed figures, contorted by society to make them fit in. I may not have the wings to fly like some of you lady's do but by gods That sun light will finally be warm on my bare face.

I love your way with words.  /melts....   

Thank you, I try hard to express myself well in as many ways as possible; painting warhammer miniatures, writing ( though my spelling and grammar are atrocious at times) but in public and at work I hide it with the guise of stupidity and vulgarity. That's parts easy it comes with the sea bag! Mostly I just struggle to articulate the thought and feeling that rocket through my mind; writing is the easiest form. I can erase and write rewrite and scribble over the same thought over and over till it matches how my mind sees it. It's one of the reasons I'm really good at D&D and table top games.

You should read some of the ->-bleeped-<- I write with my friends. I have scared some of them with my mind lol! ( in a good way )

Ahhhhhh, D&D!  It's been so long.  I miss you greatly old friend.....

It's one of the best ways to express anger and your imagination! Without harming yourself or others!

Quote from: billiexero on August 04, 2015, 01:11:37 PM
Lol yes for the first time in my life I think I'm actually doing something for myself....

OMG  Scary and amazing isn't it? I've spent pretty much all my life doing what was expected of me. For myself??? what's that? I'm still trying to sort out who I really am

As a serious question will anti depressants ( Wellbutrin ) adhd meds ( aderal ) and a migraine med ( topamax ) hider me from starting HRT I'm going to ask my doc when I see her but I wanted to know if anyone knew here before I went in with my hopes up

Quote from: billiexero on August 05, 2015, 10:59:55 PM
As a serious question will anti depressants ( Wellbutrin ) adhd meds ( aderal ) and a migraine med ( topamax ) hider me from starting HRT I'm going to ask my doc when I see her but I wanted to know if anyone knew here before I went in with my hopes up

I wouldn't thinks so as hormones are of a different drug class BUT they may decide to adjust the dose level after you have been on the hormones for a bit. Sometime treatment for transsexualism reduces depression but follow you doctors orders because some people dropped medication they needed and paid for it latter.

ya dont worry too much about depression meds and anxiety meds stopping HRT, it may cause them to adjust it but lots of trans people are on similar, I had concerns with my bloodpressure but right after it started coming down my doctor was ok with starting hormones, and it wasen't a bit high it was near heart attack at all times high.

As for sexuality I find it easiest, especially when in the middle of transision and really in life in general, not to worry too much about labels. I am a woman, I am almost exclusivly attracted to women I don't think its worth digging harder into that sexuality is not as set in stone as many people think its best to just let it happen.

As for your significant other, it may be hard now and will certainly be hard later but don't count out any possiblites, many people make definitive declarations when they are confused, lost, sad or just angry, and in the case of a romantic relationship and a gender change it can be even more severe as it can easily cause them to question not just the relationship but there own sexuality and that can be terrifying so give them time and space, try not to force anything and if something happens talk to someone else, even if its just a post here, a outside perspecitive may help reveal why and how someone feels and makes dealing with it easier. But no promises this could end your current relationship but if your careful and let them take the time they need to proccess this there is a very good chance you can at the very least remain friends.

Serena

Quote from: billiexero on August 05, 2015, 10:59:55 PM
As a serious question will anti depressants ( Wellbutrin ) adhd meds ( aderal ) and a migraine med ( topamax ) hider me from starting HRT I'm going to ask my doc when I see her but I wanted to know if anyone knew here before I went in with my hopes up

A competent doctor will not let them stand in the way. However there are some doctors who don't get the whole wired-to-be-a-woman thing and will give you some garbage about not being stable or healthy enough to transition.

Either way, insist you get the help you need.

Thank you Serena your right, things change and as I have found with voltage ( and most things in life for that ) we all ride a sin wave; there are the positives that makes everything light up like the sun and but inevitably u have a down swing but they don't last forever all you have to do is wait for the voltage to start to climb again.... Unless it's a square or saw tooth then ur screwed cuz those would have ->-bleeped-<-ty effects on life sudden drops ( and I know there are those out there who suffer through such depression states and down swings and do do not mean to belittle your struggle brothers and sisters ). He and I intend to stay friends and even roommates for a while ( neither one of use make enough to service on our own and I'm not low on the military pecking order either ) I know there is no way to truly turn lifes AC sin wave in a strong DC current but damn it with the help of others; even if you don't care for the person just a helping hand in general and be a be on of light in the sea of darkness. I know I come here for help a lot but if there is ever a way for me to help back never and I mean never hesitate to ask!
Ps luclly I live in a informed concent state!

So yeah not to bring politics into the forum but come on i can't believe some of the ->-bleeped-<- the republicans are spewing out! I really hope they don't get elected!

In the dark old days my sin waves had a pretty high crest factor with a PF of 70% on average. These days I'm feeling much better now with active PFC  :D

well i think my wave is in wa downward slop, i think i blew out my knee again. i just got it back to a functional running standard. defiantly not the 14 mile i was doing before my first injury but 45 min run 3-4 times a week wasnt bad. until today. mid run i felt a pop and a sharp pain, i was able to finish most of the run up to 30 min but wound up limping my cool down. my next thought is to not run for 2-3 months and just stretch and do yoga to try and get the damned thing to a flexible standard. my run will suffer but if i can run again ill take what i can get. what do you know that i can sub for my run in cardio. i mean i have tried biking and swimming, but biking is ass it works but i dont feel like in getting a real work out. and i cant swim i dont like changing in the male locker room let alone being half naked in a pool. i mean i could force myself but i would just feel uncomfortable. am i screwed my only options are biking and swimming isnt it.

also as a final question to work with that last one i dont want to build muscle but i have to maintain a certain amount of strength what can i do to help this. i dont want to lift weights and gain mass (cuz i will and fast) but if i down do something ill start to lose it and might fall out of military PRT standards. 

Women use a different work out routine, less weight and more repeats to maintain strength without building bulky muscles. Check out the differenced between the instructions for both men and women for each strength building activity you wish to do and change your routine.

i find out if i can start hrt this week

So my doctor said as far as she knows the only thing that can happen to me because the only thing she knows that is out there is that I would be paying out of pocket for the endocrinologist and the medications

so does anyone know of a good therapist on the Seattle area

update on that whole situation, turns out that tricare has been cracking down on out of pocket payments. they are cracking down hard, making it so i have no choice but to go threw my HMO ( making it so i have to inform even more people know about me. personally i dont care but as of right now we are not aloud to serve openly. i have the actual document that was issued but the secretary of defense to all armed forces. luckily my HMO ( a HM1 ) was more understanding then i thought he would be, and much cooler with me about it then anticipated. he asked my permission to talk to an officer then came back and said he was going to have me set up with psychiatrist who would, more or less set down with me and then send me to see and endocrinologist that works with tricare. ( this also is because im not looking to make a full transition while im in the service, im only looking to start HRT) now i just wait for a phone call and make an appointment with the psychologist!