General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: Promethea on August 02, 2015, 10:10:44 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I was assaulted today
Post by: Promethea on August 02, 2015, 10:10:44 PM
Post by: Promethea on August 02, 2015, 10:10:44 PM
Well, let me first say that I'm OK, I wasn't hurt and it didn't go nearly as bad as it could have...
There's this 50 something year old guy I know from seeing him around the city. He seems to live or work close to where I do. Most of the times I've seen him it was at nighttime and he was more or less drunk. The first time I saw him it was before my transition, he was kind of friendly. After I transitioned he's been more than friendly. I ran into him a few times at parties or concerts and he's tried to grab my hand, tried to hug me or kiss me on the cheek, which caused me to start ignoring him.
Today I went to a carnival rehearsal with the group I will be playing with, in a park three minutes from where I live. Usually when I go out I carry my purse and a knife in it (which I know how to use). Today, because I was only going there, I didn't bring my purse, so no knife. Didn't think I'd need it.
Near the end of the rehearsal I was sitting to the side with some other girls, practicing our instruments, when I saw him there, visibly drunk,, first trying to sing, and then telling me to look at him, and then I saw he was showing me a "knife" (between quotes, because had I had my knife it would have looked like that scene from Crocodile Dundee, "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife", his was a little foldout blade). None of the other girls noticed, but we were surrounded with people so I continued to ignore him.
At some point later I was standing there, not playing, when I felt an embrace from behind. I broke free, leaped forwards and turned around, it was him. I yelled at him, he said he was just a friend, and if I was afraid of being raped. Luckily there was a huge guy next to me who saw my reaction and the guy just walked away. He didn't pull out his knife at that time. We were also 50m away from the police station.
He probably wouldn't have done anything else right there, but... I felt so powerless... And like an absolute idiot from lowering my guard like that, thinking I could go out without protection... Most men here are like that, they feel entitled to do anything with your body without any indication that they have permission... It's absolutely disgusting. He destroyed any sense of security I had built from knowing this place. I don't think he knows where I live, but he knows where I hang out, and he's out for me... I can't go to the police, they will either dismiss it or put me in a plane to Uruguay where I know danger is greater....
My apologies to the men in the forum but I'm really hating men right now...
There's this 50 something year old guy I know from seeing him around the city. He seems to live or work close to where I do. Most of the times I've seen him it was at nighttime and he was more or less drunk. The first time I saw him it was before my transition, he was kind of friendly. After I transitioned he's been more than friendly. I ran into him a few times at parties or concerts and he's tried to grab my hand, tried to hug me or kiss me on the cheek, which caused me to start ignoring him.
Today I went to a carnival rehearsal with the group I will be playing with, in a park three minutes from where I live. Usually when I go out I carry my purse and a knife in it (which I know how to use). Today, because I was only going there, I didn't bring my purse, so no knife. Didn't think I'd need it.
Near the end of the rehearsal I was sitting to the side with some other girls, practicing our instruments, when I saw him there, visibly drunk,, first trying to sing, and then telling me to look at him, and then I saw he was showing me a "knife" (between quotes, because had I had my knife it would have looked like that scene from Crocodile Dundee, "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife", his was a little foldout blade). None of the other girls noticed, but we were surrounded with people so I continued to ignore him.
At some point later I was standing there, not playing, when I felt an embrace from behind. I broke free, leaped forwards and turned around, it was him. I yelled at him, he said he was just a friend, and if I was afraid of being raped. Luckily there was a huge guy next to me who saw my reaction and the guy just walked away. He didn't pull out his knife at that time. We were also 50m away from the police station.
He probably wouldn't have done anything else right there, but... I felt so powerless... And like an absolute idiot from lowering my guard like that, thinking I could go out without protection... Most men here are like that, they feel entitled to do anything with your body without any indication that they have permission... It's absolutely disgusting. He destroyed any sense of security I had built from knowing this place. I don't think he knows where I live, but he knows where I hang out, and he's out for me... I can't go to the police, they will either dismiss it or put me in a plane to Uruguay where I know danger is greater....
My apologies to the men in the forum but I'm really hating men right now...
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Ms Grace on August 02, 2015, 10:20:16 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on August 02, 2015, 10:20:16 PM
So sorry to hear that happened to you. Unfortunately transition to female brings with it a new perspective on personal safety, not just for being trans but for being female. It shouldn't be that way, we should have the right to be respected and safe, but it only takes one unrespectful jerk...
You should consider filing a report with the cops.
You should consider filing a report with the cops.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: EmmaMcAllister on August 02, 2015, 10:21:47 PM
Post by: EmmaMcAllister on August 02, 2015, 10:21:47 PM
Sorry to hear hun. I'm glad you're okay, and very glad that you know how to defend yourself. But don't hate all men. Assholism is gender neutral.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Beth Andrea on August 02, 2015, 11:02:45 PM
Post by: Beth Andrea on August 02, 2015, 11:02:45 PM
Quote from: EmmaMcAllister on August 02, 2015, 10:21:47 PM
Sorry to hear hun. I'm glad you're okay, and very glad that you know how to defend yourself. But don't hate all men. Assholism is gender neutral.
+1 to this...and remember, there was a "huge guy" whose presence clearly had an effect. Proof that some men are good to have around!
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Sarah82 on August 02, 2015, 11:14:22 PM
Post by: Sarah82 on August 02, 2015, 11:14:22 PM
So glad you are OK Promethia.
It can be terrifying when something like that happens in a place we feel safe.
Remember what a strong woman you are and don't let the ->-bleeped-<-s keep you in fear.
Hugs,
Bobbie
It can be terrifying when something like that happens in a place we feel safe.
Remember what a strong woman you are and don't let the ->-bleeped-<-s keep you in fear.
Hugs,
Bobbie
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: stephaniec on August 03, 2015, 12:35:40 AM
Post by: stephaniec on August 03, 2015, 12:35:40 AM
I'd do what Ms. Grace suggested and file a report. Honestly, this isn't a good situation.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: suzifrommd on August 03, 2015, 05:41:37 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on August 03, 2015, 05:41:37 AM
Be a heroine and report this predator. He may be doing this to other people and not all of them would be bad@$$ trans women.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Beverly on August 03, 2015, 06:18:18 AM
Post by: Beverly on August 03, 2015, 06:18:18 AM
Reporting this to the police is a good idea. Sticking a knife in him would have been a very bad idea. I am glad you forgot your knife.
Why would the police send you to Uruguay?
Why would the police send you to Uruguay?
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Promethea on August 03, 2015, 07:41:14 AM
Post by: Promethea on August 03, 2015, 07:41:14 AM
Thank you for your warm words...
I wouldn't have stabbed him, just used the knife to show him getting close to me with his little blade wasn't a good idea.
Uruguay and Brazil are part of the Mercosur, a union that has an agreement of free movement for its citizens. Similar to the Schengen area in Europe but not as smooth. You cross the border with a tourist visa that's good for 90 days and once there you can apply for a temporary residence and work permit. I wasn't going to do that at first, I thought I was going to leave Brazil sooner, but I ended up staying longer, and when I was waiting for my POA to mail me the documents I needed from Uruguay my ID was stolen with some other stuff from my purse. I need that ID for the application, and that's the one thing my POA can't request in my name. So I'm stuck being, not illegal, but irregular, which has less serious consequences (I can't be banned from reentry, just charged a fine), but it still means that if the authorities find I'm here I would get deported.
I wouldn't have stabbed him, just used the knife to show him getting close to me with his little blade wasn't a good idea.
Uruguay and Brazil are part of the Mercosur, a union that has an agreement of free movement for its citizens. Similar to the Schengen area in Europe but not as smooth. You cross the border with a tourist visa that's good for 90 days and once there you can apply for a temporary residence and work permit. I wasn't going to do that at first, I thought I was going to leave Brazil sooner, but I ended up staying longer, and when I was waiting for my POA to mail me the documents I needed from Uruguay my ID was stolen with some other stuff from my purse. I need that ID for the application, and that's the one thing my POA can't request in my name. So I'm stuck being, not illegal, but irregular, which has less serious consequences (I can't be banned from reentry, just charged a fine), but it still means that if the authorities find I'm here I would get deported.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: Dena on August 03, 2015, 07:54:09 AM
Post by: Dena on August 03, 2015, 07:54:09 AM
Over the years I have developed a 6th sense. While I pretty much avoid risky places, when I am not in a safe location, my awareness level goes up and I check often for people near me that might present a danger. While my neighborhood is very safe, I even do this on my evening walks. With the constant fights against my brother and sister when I was younger and dealing with bullies when I was older, I know how and am comfortable with resisting an attack but it's better not to need to do it in the first place. CIS women often live in a protected environment and the ones who are not aware of the dangers are the ones you read about in the paper. As males, we didn't need to worry about this but we need to learn fast in order to remain safe.
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: V M on August 06, 2015, 07:17:50 AM
Post by: V M on August 06, 2015, 07:17:50 AM
Glad you're okay, I understand Brazil can be a rather difficult place for trans people
There was a rash of assaults in my area a few years ago and I had to defend myself a few times
It was pretty scary for awhile, but the police have responded well and have stepped up their presence and things have settled down a bit, but it is important to be aware because random stuff still happens now and then
Be safe
Hugs
There was a rash of assaults in my area a few years ago and I had to defend myself a few times
It was pretty scary for awhile, but the police have responded well and have stepped up their presence and things have settled down a bit, but it is important to be aware because random stuff still happens now and then
Be safe
Hugs
Title: Re: I was assaulted today
Post by: katrinaw on August 06, 2015, 07:29:21 AM
Post by: katrinaw on August 06, 2015, 07:29:21 AM
hugs...
so sorry to hear this happened to you, glad you are not hurt.
Can only agree with filing a police report, best wishes and good luck xx
Katy
so sorry to hear this happened to you, glad you are not hurt.
Can only agree with filing a police report, best wishes and good luck xx
Katy