Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel very attracted to other women but I also experience high dysphoria when I view any "stimulating material" or try to date another girl. Has anyone been able to figure out a way to get past this? I know my Gender Dysphoria wont go away until I start treatment but has anyone experienced this and been able to lower it enough so that it doesn't hurt as much to be around other women?

While I didn't have the discomfort you had, the only way I found to get my mind away from the uncomfortable feeling was to think about something else. As a computer programmer, I could think about a programming problem for hours and that would distract me. If you studying with a woman, you would need to pay as much attention to the subject as possible and try not to pay attention to the woman next to you. It will be hard at first but free time or an idle mind will cause much of your discomfort. I looked at your past post and it didn't indicate if you are on blockers. The would also help your concentration so you should think about getting into treatment so you can receive them.

Quote from: SamGuzman on August 03, 2015, 05:01:58 PM
I feel very attracted to other women but I also experience high dysphoria when I view any "stimulating material" or try to date another girl. Has anyone been able to figure out a way to get past this? I know my Gender Dysphoria wont go away until I start treatment but has anyone experienced this and been able to lower it enough so that it doesn't hurt as much to be around other women?

I think i know how you feeling . You see/view other woman are attracted to them but also want to be like them .if this is the case treatment is a great way to go or untill then find something to lower the testosterone .

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Hi Sam,

My libido was frustrating for most of my life but having a sex drive and intense interest does not work well with also feeling I am really a girl and therefor lacking in coital confidence.  Regardless of how i looked I was not like most guys.  I felt more like a girl and that may not be a real turn on for most cisgender and hetero partners.  Now that I am out and on HRT my romantic and libidinous nature are in far greater harmony.

The discordant and incongruent stresses of dysphoria and being transgender can vary from unhelpful to traumatic for some of us when it comes to intimacy.

I was married for ten years I would have her on top she hid me. so during sex I looked at us and would imagine I was her. it isn't impossible to have a very sexually fun gratified life with the boy part. if u find a woman who will help u imagine a bit say or make her movement's masculinised stuff with it out of sight. kept me feeling enough for a long time to have role play as an outlet. 

I know what you're feeling, just opposite, me being a transguy and feeling that way about cisguys. Even though I'm a virgin lol (and bisexual/pansexual)

But like... yeah, you see a cis person with a body you long for and for me at least, I can't help but wonder if I'm attracted to them or attracted to the thought of looking like them/having their body. I think at the point I'm at right now, I couldn't date a cisguy because I'd be too jealous of his body and feel bad about mine, even if he liked me how I am.

I think once I start hormones and/or get top surgery(which I will eventually) then I'll feel a lot more comfortable and open to dating and being with guys... It's just too stressful to even consider that right now.

Quote from: jessica32 on August 11, 2015, 12:43:16 AM
I was married for ten years I would have her on top she hid me. so during sex I looked at us and would imagine I was her. it isn't impossible to have a very sexually fun gratified life with the boy part. if u find a woman who will help u imagine a bit say or make her movement's masculinised stuff with it out of sight. kept me feeling enough for a long time to have role play as an outlet.

I agree with you Jessica and consider it quite possible to have a satisfying intimate life as a non op or pre op transgender person. With some imagination, creativity and a cooperative loving partner we too can experience bliss.

My brain sends sex messages like a bad cell-phone connection. I like women, want to be one. Male sexuality is threatening for me (sex abused kid). My head has sex as female. Body parts are like a bad connection.

I'm mostly attracted to men, but since starting hormones my sexuality has been questionable.  Sometimes I'm really attracted to certain women.  However, gender dysphoria gets in the way more... When I think about being with a woman I suddenly feel like I'm very masculine, I'm the most manly person there and that's difficult.  When I imagine being with a guy I can definitely feel safe in my identity. 

This isn't to say that when in a homosexual relationship one of you has to be the man, it's just that at this early stage (I'm three months HRT, have some boobs but mostly still look male) I don't want the comparison.