Susan's Place Transgender Resources

In April of 2014 I was diagnosed as transgender. This condition is not in and of itself dangerous. However, rejection, isolation, self-loathing, contempt, and bullying leads 41% of untreated transgender people to attempt suicide. Almost any other possibility seems better, even serious mental illness. I spent a good deal of time just deciding to explore the possibility that I'm transgender and more time accepting it. The therapist who helped me in this was fair and knowledgeable and we considered every other possible diagnosis.

The current scientific explanation is that a baby, perceived as male at birth would be overwhelmed by estrogen or estrogen-like substances during the second trimester when the brain develops, causing the male bodied infant to develop a female brain. The differences are subtle and don't make one better than the other, but do cause tendencies and behaviors. The differences between a male brain and a female brain are so small that they can only be examined by dissection. Yes, people have donated their brains after death to be checked, this isn't guessing. Another way to tell is to substitute estrogen for testosterone. Male-to-female (MtF) transgender people like me don't do well with testosterone. On estrogen, in less than a week, our thinking and emotions improve. A man who is not transgender treated like this becomes erratic and depressed. We know this because they tried to treat prostate cancer with estrogen and that's what happened. This treatment comes at a cost, the body doesn't care if it gets testosterone or estrogen, although the brain does, but it does cause physical changes. I now have breasts, my body hair is reducing and my face is changing. I won't look like a man much longer and that's why it's time to tell all of you. I think more like a woman, move more like a woman, act more like a woman. A fairly butch woman, but a woman.

I intend to survive and to do that I need your help. Don't make this harder if you have issues with it. Quietly unfriend me and distance yourself if you must. You'll be welcomed back when you're ready. I will joyfully respond to respectful questions, but let's stick to facts that humans can comprehend. I won't speculate about Deity's opinion or my place in creation. I find that disrespectful of Deity.

Some people I've told personally, in person or by phone. If I didn't tell you that way, it's only because there are so many of you. I'm sorry I could not.

I love you all,
Dion

Well done!  Informative and interesting as well as positive and affirming.  Nice job!

Nice!

To my reading, it jumps a bit quickly into the description of ->-bleeped-<- in general. I think it might be a little easier to start off if you separate the "you" stuff from the background information.

It also reads to me as having a bit of a defensive feel. I am drafting various versions of my own letter, and I think I'm going to keep to a strictly positive and briefly explanatory post at first. In mine, I think I'm going to leave out the equivalent of the first sentences of your second-to-last paragraph. I'll either post a comment as a footnote or just wait and see whether it becomes necessary. But that's obviously just me; I just thought I'd share my own thinking in case it's helpful.

I feel it was a bit robotic and it makes you sound like you want to be alienated for having a disease or something.  What we have is beautiful and its your family and friends responsibility to research and understand.  This is why I chose to come out over time on facebook.  I created a second facebook the day i started transitioning (14 months ago)  Im now out to 80% of my old friends and I have talked to them all personally and answered any questions they had in private.   I also made a video youtu.be/AcEQ_fyQMF0 to thank everyone who had recently supported me as well as showcased my voice and mannerisms.

All in all I like your letter but its also info people should know and your letter should be embodied with who you are becoming rather than what happened. 

I agree with most of the consensus so far.  Good material, but could use some polish and tone adjustment.

Try to open up with something like, "To all my friends, family, and loved ones.  I have some news that may shock some of you, yet others may already have an inkling.  For the past several years I have been battling with coming to terms with a condition I've had since birth.  I am transgender...."

Something like that, obviously tailored more to your liking.  It's supposed to be a happy secret that you're sharing, not a news bulletin.  :)

Quote from: KristinaM on August 05, 2015, 11:55:23 AM
Try to open up with something like, "To all my friends, family, and loved ones.  I have some news that may shock some of you, yet others may already have an inkling.  For the past several years I have been battling with coming to terms with a condition I've had since birth.  I am transgender...."

I'm using something like this. Describing having been diagnosed in the OP's feels a little clinical, and I preferred to make it more personal. It also doesn't happen to fit my history, since I was never formally diagnosed, it's just something I know about myself. I don't think there's anything wrong with how she described it, though.

I also try to avoid words like "shock" because they can be a little negative. To my ear, "surprise" is a bit more neutral to positive (we like to be surprised by a party; being shocked by a party carries a different connotation). But that especially might be a cultural thing.

Overall, I'd say pretty good. I'd like to say too to make it more personal, on the other hand the clinical aspect of the post points out that it is a treatable medical condition, not a choice.

Also, I would double check the time frame, I believe the testosterone wash occurs in the first trimester between weeks 8 and 12.

Best wishes,

Lots of good comments. I will make it a bit more personal, however, I do tend to write like that. Darned Ivy League education! After I rework it this evening I'll put it up for one more round of comments. Unfortunately, I have a mixed audience of Columbia U graduates and Michigan rednecks. Both will benefit from being hit with medical BS. Some of them are very religious and I want to forestall any references to religious authority.

I'm tempted to rewrite it as "dear all, I'm transgender. If you don't know what that means, look it up." Not sure that would fly, though.

Here's the revision:

In April of 2014 I was diagnosed as transgender. This condition is not in and of itself dangerous. However, rejection, isolation, self-loathing, contempt, and bullying leads 41% of untreated transgender people to attempt suicide. Believe me, faced with that, almost any other possibility seems better, even serious mental illness. I spent a good deal of time before the diagnosis just deciding to explore the possibility that I'm transgender and a lot more time accepting it. The therapist who helped me in this was fair and knowledgeable and we considered every other possible diagnosis.

This condition isn't mental. Therapy can't cure it. Scientists think that a baby, perceived as male at birth, can be overwhelmed by estrogen-like substances during the part of pregnancy when the brain develops, and gets a female brain instead.

The best way I've been able to find to tell if you're really transgender is to substitute estrogen for testosterone. Male-to-female (MtF) transgender people like me don't do well with testosterone. On estrogen, in less than a week, our thinking and emotions improve. A man who is not transgender treated like this becomes erratic and depressed. I didn't become erratic or depressed. My thinking and emotions did improve. 

The rest of the body doesn't care if it gets testosterone or estrogen but it does cause physical changes. I now have breasts, my body hair is reducing and my face is changing. I won't look like a man much longer. I already get confused looks. That's why it's time to tell all of you. I may not end up looking a lot like a woman either unless I work at it. But I do think more like a woman, move more like a woman, act more like a woman. A fairly butch woman, but a woman.

I intend to survive and to do that I need your help. Please don't make this harder if you have issues with it. Quietly unfriend me and distance yourself if you must. That's all you have to do to help me through this. You'll be welcomed back when you're ready. As for the rest of you, I don't need a cheering section, but it would be wonderful!

I will joyfully respond to respectful questions, but let's stick to facts that humans can comprehend. I don't want to argue with anyone about whether this is real. I'm living it at a heavy cost and I know it is.

Some people I've told personally, in person or by phone. If I didn't tell you that way, it's only because there are so many of you. I'm sorry I could not.

I love you all,
Dion