Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: EtheralBotany on August 14, 2015, 12:04:05 PM Return to Full Version
Title: RAGJ$JU( $U@)U)($OUTT
Post by: EtheralBotany on August 14, 2015, 12:04:05 PM
Post by: EtheralBotany on August 14, 2015, 12:04:05 PM
So I am at another point in my life where, again, yes again I am back within the crossroads having an internal joy and bliss of my more honest self-identity; my gender expression, sexual maturity and gender identity.
Had a very eye opening lifestyle that has come to open my eyes especially now and while growing up, pretty much growing yourself up.
So want to get into Hermetics(spellcheck) and how I identify with aspects of the philosophy, but will be for another time...
I am transgender and from my own comfort, my gender expression is fluid, meaning I always identify female (mtf) but I have a philosophy and spiritual understanding of my entire transition, ups and the downs, but for what seems like many downs..
Getting a job, not in my thoughts, and I am proud to admit, living in society and facing constant beat-downs, trying to get over the last beat-down, whew, life can steer you wrong. This man who is religious explained to me a script that was about a man faithful to the one he worshiped, being or(the understanding) Christian belief in God. His name is Job and he was tested by the devil, long story please search engine, but the person pretty much was in the good, had horrible time comes to test him, probably exaggerated in my belief, but is inspiring to maintain yourself when you know your experiences are constant tests and a external warfare.
Which distorts me self-esteem, total identity and goals of my life.
I at a young age did know who I was, through it all, and I have what I could describe as a curse that plagues to haunt me, if that is proper wording in how to put it. CATCHING UP TO MYSELF, because I was so much more than how I was before and now there are old jolts of those late night dancing or reciting music, weed smoking with midnight (fairy)cleaning. I came to know myself, a aristocrat woman finally being brave enough to embrace herself, though I had much ground and dirt to clean up and does not help to be living with your parents at 22 becoming conscious of life and doing your best to move out, but just sometimes life has codes that it sets so you can forever remain in its locks, boxes and chains.
Ok, maybe not a detailed and well planned (because I never plan these posts but yea, want to give you me in the now) ..
I have people always telling me who I am, and what to do at the worst of it all, wow almost 1, time for me has been passing by without my realization. It's a Friday on these parts of the world, and yea, I am done with all of my priorities, soon to head back to the shelter I stay at. Hard as it be, I know the balance of myself but it can seem the world can try and sell you who you are, and after wedge you into its mold, yes stuck in Limbo.
How can I not embrace the attributes that as a woman who once lived the masculine standards and majority of her lifestyle being considered male, find something that influenced me of my past experiences; an incognito woman, who had to do what she had to do. Remembering and embracing the younger aspects within me, I can feel it, even past memories with no idea of what transition was to being in retrospect daily in amazement about Life, just Life, I did not know much of what would happen, I never knew what career I wanted, or much but of just who I am, you can be good at something but the passion and thrive has to be there..
So, till next time, I will try my best to respond to this exact posting, read it to jolt memories and continue forward.
Never sure in who will read this, but I do hope it can inspire, eye open or.. yea =)
Had a very eye opening lifestyle that has come to open my eyes especially now and while growing up, pretty much growing yourself up.
So want to get into Hermetics(spellcheck) and how I identify with aspects of the philosophy, but will be for another time...
I am transgender and from my own comfort, my gender expression is fluid, meaning I always identify female (mtf) but I have a philosophy and spiritual understanding of my entire transition, ups and the downs, but for what seems like many downs..
Getting a job, not in my thoughts, and I am proud to admit, living in society and facing constant beat-downs, trying to get over the last beat-down, whew, life can steer you wrong. This man who is religious explained to me a script that was about a man faithful to the one he worshiped, being or(the understanding) Christian belief in God. His name is Job and he was tested by the devil, long story please search engine, but the person pretty much was in the good, had horrible time comes to test him, probably exaggerated in my belief, but is inspiring to maintain yourself when you know your experiences are constant tests and a external warfare.
Which distorts me self-esteem, total identity and goals of my life.
I at a young age did know who I was, through it all, and I have what I could describe as a curse that plagues to haunt me, if that is proper wording in how to put it. CATCHING UP TO MYSELF, because I was so much more than how I was before and now there are old jolts of those late night dancing or reciting music, weed smoking with midnight (fairy)cleaning. I came to know myself, a aristocrat woman finally being brave enough to embrace herself, though I had much ground and dirt to clean up and does not help to be living with your parents at 22 becoming conscious of life and doing your best to move out, but just sometimes life has codes that it sets so you can forever remain in its locks, boxes and chains.
Ok, maybe not a detailed and well planned (because I never plan these posts but yea, want to give you me in the now) ..
I have people always telling me who I am, and what to do at the worst of it all, wow almost 1, time for me has been passing by without my realization. It's a Friday on these parts of the world, and yea, I am done with all of my priorities, soon to head back to the shelter I stay at. Hard as it be, I know the balance of myself but it can seem the world can try and sell you who you are, and after wedge you into its mold, yes stuck in Limbo.
How can I not embrace the attributes that as a woman who once lived the masculine standards and majority of her lifestyle being considered male, find something that influenced me of my past experiences; an incognito woman, who had to do what she had to do. Remembering and embracing the younger aspects within me, I can feel it, even past memories with no idea of what transition was to being in retrospect daily in amazement about Life, just Life, I did not know much of what would happen, I never knew what career I wanted, or much but of just who I am, you can be good at something but the passion and thrive has to be there..
So, till next time, I will try my best to respond to this exact posting, read it to jolt memories and continue forward.
Never sure in who will read this, but I do hope it can inspire, eye open or.. yea =)