Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Lynne on August 14, 2015, 12:13:15 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Lynne on August 14, 2015, 12:13:15 PM
Post by: Lynne on August 14, 2015, 12:13:15 PM
As I'm working at a larger company now I have a lot of colleagues and most of them know me because I'm part of the internal support and training team. There is a week long music festival in our country and I heard that a lot of my co-workers are going to the festival at the weekend including my boss.
I'm going to be there as well because I'm a volunteer at the local trans* organization and they are there every year to make trans issues more visible and to educate people. And I'm not going to present as male.
So the problem is obvious, there is a big chance that my colleagues will see me. That will start a chain reaction which I'll have little control over and can cause a lot of awkwardness.
In some ways I'm hoping that some of them will see me and confront me with this as this would move things in the right direction but I'm not sure I'm ready.
I know I won't break my promise I made to the organization and I'll go and help them. I also know I'll have caring people around me from the trans* organization to give me support but that will be way-way beyond my comfort zone.
I'm going to be there as well because I'm a volunteer at the local trans* organization and they are there every year to make trans issues more visible and to educate people. And I'm not going to present as male.
So the problem is obvious, there is a big chance that my colleagues will see me. That will start a chain reaction which I'll have little control over and can cause a lot of awkwardness.
In some ways I'm hoping that some of them will see me and confront me with this as this would move things in the right direction but I'm not sure I'm ready.
I know I won't break my promise I made to the organization and I'll go and help them. I also know I'll have caring people around me from the trans* organization to give me support but that will be way-way beyond my comfort zone.
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Lynne on August 18, 2015, 02:05:50 AM
Post by: Lynne on August 18, 2015, 02:05:50 AM
So far none of my colleagues said anything about the festival and none of them approached me there.
A lot of people were there so I have no way to know if somebody from the crowd saw me or not but we'll see.
I would want to involve HR in my coming out and now I face another problem. The only girl who I know and trust from HR may leave the company sooner rather than later so I have to pick up the pace and do this before she leaves otherwise I'm not sure who could handle this correctly.
A lot of people were there so I have no way to know if somebody from the crowd saw me or not but we'll see.
I would want to involve HR in my coming out and now I face another problem. The only girl who I know and trust from HR may leave the company sooner rather than later so I have to pick up the pace and do this before she leaves otherwise I'm not sure who could handle this correctly.
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: katrinaw on August 18, 2015, 08:05:57 AM
Post by: katrinaw on August 18, 2015, 08:05:57 AM
Good luck and best wishes Lynne
Katy xx
I am just starting a new role in two weeks in a large company... will be doing that after probation... will be fun!
Katy xx
I am just starting a new role in two weeks in a large company... will be doing that after probation... will be fun!
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Jessika on August 18, 2015, 08:32:21 AM
Post by: Jessika on August 18, 2015, 08:32:21 AM
I just started a new job as a Security Officer at a corporate building where I live. I see a lot of people coming and going (Main Entrance).
My mind was racing about coming out eventually to all those strangers and co-workers.
My mind was racing about coming out eventually to all those strangers and co-workers.
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Lynne on August 20, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
Post by: Lynne on August 20, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
Thanks girls, good luck with your new jobs!
At the festival for a moment I thought I saw my boss and my heart started racing like hell, I almost had a panic attack from the thought that I have to come out to her that moment. Then as it turned out it wasn't her and I calmed down but I need to handle this much better.
I'm trying to plan how I could go full-time. I have two problems mainly, some facial hair is still there and my voice is not consistent enough.
So my idea is to work from home every Wednesday so I could rest my voice and my facial skin could regenerate a little on Wednesdays and at the weekends.
But before coming out I need to get my hair done because I haven't seen a hairdresser since 2006.
At the festival for a moment I thought I saw my boss and my heart started racing like hell, I almost had a panic attack from the thought that I have to come out to her that moment. Then as it turned out it wasn't her and I calmed down but I need to handle this much better.
I'm trying to plan how I could go full-time. I have two problems mainly, some facial hair is still there and my voice is not consistent enough.
So my idea is to work from home every Wednesday so I could rest my voice and my facial skin could regenerate a little on Wednesdays and at the weekends.
But before coming out I need to get my hair done because I haven't seen a hairdresser since 2006.
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Tessa James on August 20, 2015, 05:10:03 PM
Post by: Tessa James on August 20, 2015, 05:10:03 PM
I admire anyone who can deal with coming out on the job. I didn't and can only imagine how tough it can be. Your description of a near panic attack reminded me that it sometimes takes that level of recognizing our fears to take action and make a new plan. Easy for me to say as i am retired ;)
Girl you're going to have fun at the hairdressers salon, pamper yourself and then....
Girl you're going to have fun at the hairdressers salon, pamper yourself and then....
Title: Re: Coming out to colleagues may be inevitable in the coming days
Post by: Lynne on August 21, 2015, 07:57:27 AM
Post by: Lynne on August 21, 2015, 07:57:27 AM
I had two 4 months periods in the last 3 years where I didn't have a job but I was not ready, the timing and financials were not right to go full time. I could not afford to go any longer without work so I guess I don't have the luxury of waiting for the perfect moment and I have to accept that I just can't get around some things.
If I manage to do this I'm quite sure I'll become stronger because of it, I just have to find the strength to start.
The last time I was at a hairdressers saloon I hated it because I had to go to have my hair cut short for my upcoming exams. I guess I'll enjoy it more this time around as I plan to have my hair dyed black because that is my natural hair color to look a little younger because I have lot of gray hair.
If I manage to do this I'm quite sure I'll become stronger because of it, I just have to find the strength to start.
The last time I was at a hairdressers saloon I hated it because I had to go to have my hair cut short for my upcoming exams. I guess I'll enjoy it more this time around as I plan to have my hair dyed black because that is my natural hair color to look a little younger because I have lot of gray hair.